


Tattoo.

by zenlikestowrite



Category: Day6 (Band)
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Angst, M/M, cross-posted on Asianfanfics.com
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-01
Updated: 2018-12-30
Packaged: 2019-09-02 23:57:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 27
Words: 91,993
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16797292
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zenlikestowrite/pseuds/zenlikestowrite
Summary: ORIGINALLY WRITTEN JUNE, 21, 2016Park Jaehyung is a world renown author who is searching for a man with a dandelion  that marked his nape , and Brian is a freelance musician who's sure that someone else must just have the same tattoo."What is love, to you? Describe what you think love means, or is like"The blonde author thought for a while before answering the interviewer's question."I guess, I would describe love to be similar to a tattoo." he starts,"It can be temporary, it can be vibrant and prominent one moment, but the next it could fade away without even leaving a trace. On the other side of that, love can be permanent. It can sting you, and be forever embedded into you, and you can regret it, try and cover it up, but underneath the attempts to mask it, the original one is still there.""Any specific tattoo designs that come to mind?"Jaehyung smiles to himself before answering,"A dandelion."





	1. You?

**Author's Note:**

> twitter: zenkrcovers  
> kakaotalk: zenaya
> 
> author's note at the end!

"And today, joining us, we have the author of 'Float On...', please welcome Park Jaehyung." 

Jae bows at the interviewer before smiling at the camera that was currently recording their conversation. 

"Hello, I'm Park Jaehyung." he introduces with a cute smile, and he settles back into his chair, crossing his legs.

Although trying to come off as professional, all his friends and family know just what kind of person Jaehyung actually is.

First of all, he never goes by Jaehyung.

In fact, his full name makes him cringe, but considering that's the name on his books, he deals with the feeling of being formally addressed as 'Jaehyung'.

He likes being called Jae, and when he first meets people that aren't contacting him for business, that's how he introduces himself.

Although he's often seen in nice dress shirts and suits on TV, his favourite outfits are the ones consisting of sweatpants and a baggy sweater along with some sneakers. 

He's quite the simple person, a 'man-child' some would describe him as.

He's funny, and easy-going, and very sociable. That aspect of him makes things for his manager difficult, because he has to remind Jae that not everyone wants to be his friend.

And so, being the simple person Jae is, it's difficult for his friends and family to believe the wise words that come out of his mouth. The stories and dialogue he forms within his mind, and translates on to paper and is sold to millions of people, world-wide; it's fascinating how the immature, funny 24-year-old Jae creates them. 

"You are one of the youngest authors to have sold books in record-breaking numbers, how does that feel?" the lady whose name Jae already forgot asks,

"It's amazing." he starts off with a proud smile, 

"It's fascinating to know people around the world are reading and experiencing the universies I create and try to convey with words." he explains.

A few more questions go by, and Jae answers them as naturally and honestly as he can.

"So, your number one best-seller is actually a romance novel, 'Float On...', correct?"

"Yes, I believe that is correct." Jae says while nodding,

"The emotions and love story in this novel is recognized world-wide. Is it safe to assume you have quite the experience in relationships?" 

Jae laughs before shaking his head and quickly denying,

"Oh, no, no." he says, "I've actually haven't been in a relationship."

And Jae stiffles his laughter when the interviewer's face contorts in surprise and also disbelief,

"No way." she says, and Jae concludes that that's the most natural thing that's come out of her mouth so far. 

"You must've have dated someone. Or are you just not allowed to say because scandals might arise?" she jokes a bit, and Jae smiles again,

"No, I'm being completely serious." Jae explains, 

"I mean, relationships I have no experience with. But, I think I've fallen in love." 

"You think?"

"Yeah, I don't really know if what I felt was love. But, all I know is that till this day, I can't forget that person, and the feelings they gave me."

The interview thinks for a bit before asking,

"What is love, to you? Describe what you think love means, or is like"

The blonde author thought for a while before answering the interviewer's question.

"I guess, I would describe love to be similar to a tattoo." he starts,

"It can be temporary, it can be vibrant and prominent one moment, but the next it could fade away without even leaving a trace On the other side of that, love can be permanent. It can sting you, and be forever embedded into you, and you can regret it, try and cover it up, but underneath the attempts to mask it, the original one is still there."

"Any specific tattoo designs that come to mind?"

Jaehyung smiles to himself before answering,

"A dandelion."

The interviewer nods in thought and Jae elaborates,

"A dandelion with it's seeds floating off in the wind." 

"Hey Brian," 

The platinum haired boy looks up from the cup of coffee he's making,

"Hm?" he hums in response and follows Sungjin's line of sight.

"Don't you have a tattoo like that?" he asks, and Brian processes that displayed on the cafe TV is an interview with an author named Park Jaehyung.

"A tattoo like what?" he admits to not listening and Sungjin sighs quietly before restating,

"A dandelion, with it's seeds floating off in the wind" he mocks the author's tone, 

"Yeah, I do." Brian confirms, and then his attention is redirected to the cup of caramel macchiato in the making.

"That's weird," Sungjin says before making his way to Brian's side,

"He described your exact tattoo,"

"I'm sure it's pretty common. Someone else must have the exact same tattoo," he explains as he takes a sip of his own coffee.

The cafe is currently dying down, only 1 regular customer left, and she was already served. Brian and Sungjin both work there part-time, both of them just trying to earn a little extra money, and coincidentally they both loved music and the relaxing smell of coffee.

"But, he could've just left it at 'dandelion'." Sungjin says before eye-ing Brian suspiciously. "Yet he decided to add on the seeds floating away."

Brian looked at his best friend who was accusing him of something with his eyes,

"What?" he asks and Sungjin leans in close to ask,

"Do you know Jaehyung?"

And Brian can't help the laugh that escapes his lips and immediately Sungjin's eyes go wide, and he fake gasps,

"My best-friend knows a best-selling author?!" 

"Sungjin, shut up-" Brian says as the quiet girl in the corner stops reading her book and turns to look at them.

"What was that, Brian? You and Jaehyung are practically besties?!" Sungjin teases further, and Brian slaps a hand over his loud best friend's mouth before turning to the girl and giving her an apologetic smile.

Upon doing that, he realizes she's reading one of Jaehyung's novels, 'Float On...' and he stares at the book for a while. Thinking. 

"I don't know him," Brian says once Sungjin has finally shut up and is laughing to himself.

"Okay, but it seems like he knows you." Sungjin says,

"Him describing my tattoo means _nothing_ ," Brian assures,

"I think even _I_ would know if I was close with an author that famous." and Brian sees Sungjin's smile turn guilty. 

"Who knows, maybe in one of your-" Sungjin's words are cut off when the bell above the cafe door rang, and the door swung open.

The two looked at the door, both thinking it was quite odd that someone was coming in now, considering the cafe only had a few minutes before closing, and their regular had already came in. In a small cafe like the one the duo worked at, they get to know their costumers and eventually their habitual schedules. Even their regular looked up from her book, with a curious expression on her face. And so, Sungjin just decided to wipe the drying mugs, and let Brian take whoever's order.

A tall man walked in, most of his face covered by the shade of the hat he was wearing, and the hoodie he layered on top. He walked up to the register where Brian was waiting,

"Hey, can I help you with your order?" Brian says with a friendly smile as the man removes his hood, and looks at Brian.

For some reason, his eyes look familiar. 

They're not cold or curious, or unknown like a stranger's eyes. Brian doesn't know why, but the man's eyes make him feel safe. But those odd thoughts start changing when the man's eyes go wide,

"Younghyun?" 

Sungjin looks at Brian and then at the man, and back at Brian

"Uh, I-I don't think we have a drink called-"

"Younghyun, do you not know who I am?" 

And Brian looks extremely confused, and gives Sungjin a slightly panicked face as his best friend makes his way to his side.

"Excuse me," a small, female voice interrupts the exchange of confused glances

"C-Can I have your autograph?" and the 3 men turn to look at Sungjin and Brian's regular who is sheepishly extending a book out towards the man who was calling Brian by something that wasn't his name.

"Oh, sure!" the tall man says as he gestures towards the baristas for a pen, which Sungjin ends up giving him.

As the man is signing the book, their regular proceeds to say,

"U-Uh, Jaehyung, I'm a really really big fan of your books. I think you're an absolute genius, just- just the way your words flow and the stories you create." she sighs as she admires the tall author in front of her. 

Jaehyung is smiling and laughs lightly at the way she rambled, and then says,

"May I have your name? Just wanna know who I'm signing to" 

While that's going on, Sungjin is gaping at Brian who's just shrugging his shoulders

"I was just kidding, but you said you didn't know him!" Sungjin half whispers, and half yells at his best friend

"I swear I don't! He probably just has the wrong guy!" 

"You're trying to tell me, after describing your exact tattoo, and him recognizing your annoying face, that Park Jaehyung doesn't know you?!" 

"I don't know him! There's a difference, Sungjin!" Brian retaliates. 

The 2 best friend's not-so-quiet whispering was interrupted when they heard someone clear their throat.

"Yes, hi" was Sungjin's immediate reaction, and Jaehyung smiled at him, but his attention was solely focused on Brian.

"S-Sorry," Brian says,

"Uh, my name is Brian.. I'm not the 'Younghyun' you're looking for..."

Jae's eyebrows furrow apologetically as he says,

"Oh my God, sorry, sorry. That must've been extremely awkward then, sorry." with a cute laugh at the end as he scratches the back of his neck.

Brian takes a further look at the author, and has to hold in the laughter once he realizes he's wearing a normal all white hoodie, but with pyjama pants, with a cute dinosaur pattern. 

He gives Sungjin a look that says

_Are you sure this guy is a world renown author?_

"Then," Jae says and Brian returns his gaze to him,

"I'll just take an iced Americano," he orders and Brian tells him the total.

Jae pays with cash, and puts the quite large amount of change he receives in the tip jar. Brian looks at the time, and decides it's relatively late,

"Avoiding some sleep?" Brian decides to make some small talk, trying to get over the awkward misunderstanding beforehand. as Sungjin works on Jaehyung's drink.

"I'm having an insane writer's block," Jae explains,

"But, I personally write better later at night, so I refuse to sleep." he says with a laugh, and Brian finds himself smiling. 

"One iced Americano" Sungjin says cheerfully as he places the drink on the counter,

"Thanks," Jae replies just as excitedly, and takes the drink

"Sorry about that, Brian.. Just thought you were someone I knew." 

"Don't worry 'bout it. Sorry if my face got your hopes up" he replies with a laugh,

"Yeah, it's weird. Your voices are similar too... Well, thanks for the drink!" Jae says,

"I hope you find 'Younghyun'," Brian says and he almost doesn't hear Jae say,

"Yeah, me too.." as a sad smile makes its way on his handsome face.

Jae leaves, giving a little wave and smile to the girl still reading at her table. 

Brian and Sungjin watch the tall author leave, his dinosaur pyjamas shuffling out the door. 

Silence took over the duo as they just stared at the door which Jaehyung just exited. 

"What are the odds..." Sungjin breaks it and Brian looks at him,

"What do you mean?"

"The day his interview is airing, and I joke around about you knowing him, he comes to our cafe."

Brian's quiet as he thinks for a bit.

"I kind of wanna meet the guy with the same face as me." 

"God, two of those ugly things?" Sungjin jokes around, and Brian hits him with the towel he was cleaning the counters with.

The two decide to just brush it off as coincidence and continue to just do their jobs. 

They work till closing, which is not that much longer after that little interaction with Jaehyung. Sungjin and Brian lock up the cafe, exchange some goodbye's and part ways.

It's a chilly, spring night, but Brian decides it's nice enough to walk. He starts to walk, but he stops when he hears a,

"Babe!" 

He looks out in to the distance to see his girlfriend waiting for him, the streetlight illuminating her simple beauty. She's dressed comfortably, wearing some sweatpants and Brian's hoodie which almost went past her knees. 

"Min-ah!" Brian calls out, and the moonlight catches his radiant smile. He jogs to her and envelops her in a warm hug,

"It's late, what're you doing out here by yourself?" he says as he takes her hand in his,

"Your hands are cold too.. How long were you waiting?" 

"Not long," Minri says as she smiles at her boyfriend.

"Don't wait out here by yourself, come in the cafe next time." Brian says,

"No, I don't want to interrupt whatever 'bro' conversations you and Sungjin have in there," she says as they continue walking. 

It's comfortable silence, and they're walking, their hands intertwined and Minri's head resting on Brian's shoulder.

"Babe," he says after a while,

"Hm?" she hums in response

"Have you heard of the author Park Jaehyung?" he asks, and he doesn't mean to sound so cautious. 

"Yes!" she replies in an instant, and Brian's kind of shocked at how excited she is,

"Oh my God, his books are my favourite." she comments.

"Do you happen to have any of his books?" Brian asks,

"I have most of them. Why? Wanna read one?" Minri asks,

"Just wondering.. and maybe." 

"I'll give my favourite one to you when we get home."

"I didn't say I wanted to read one~" Brian whines and says,

"And stop fangirling over him, _I'm_ your boyfriend, not him."

"Aw c'mon, a girl can't appreciate a tall, handsome man who's amazing with words?"

"I'm tall!" Brian argues,

"Not as tall as him," she says back and laughs,

"Whatever." the latter pouts but smiles because his girlfriend's cute laugh is contagious.

The rest of the walk is filled with light conversation, and quiet moments where they just enjoy the weather and each other's company.

When the couple gets home, they share a late dinner which Brian's scolds Minri for waiting for him. They're both washed up, and Brian's laying in their bed when Minri walks in and throws a book, and it lands beside him.

"Dang, just missed" Minri jokes around, and Brian laughs as he picks it up

"It's a heavy book, it would've hurt." he comments before looking at the book.

It was a hardcover, and the entire thing, for the most part, was a matte black. No extravagant designs, or dramatic pictures, but written in white, in a nice cursive font read

'Float On,,,'

"This is your favourite book?" he asks as Minri comes to lay down beside him,

"Mhm. It's funny though," she says before continuing,

"Your tattoo says this exact same thing as the title, above the dandelion, right?" 

Brian stares at the book for a while, thinking again.

"Yeah... it does." he says, and it almost sounds unsure, but at the same time, as if he's trying to convince himself of something.

"You should it read it, I really enjoyed the story" Minri advises as Brian places the book on their nightstand.

"You know, there's a rumour that Jaehyung actually lives around here, but I doubt it's true. There's no way a professional author like him would live in a little town like this, right?" 

Brian's mind flashes him a picture of Jaehyung in an oversized hoodie and dinosaur pyjamas, and he laughs a bit

_Professional, huh?_

"Who knows, maybe he does" is all he says, and he personally doesn't know why he doesn't tell Minri that Jaehyung had visited their cafe today.

The couple shares a 'good night' and Brian wraps his arm around Minri as she uses his chest as a pillow.

Brian doesn't know how long it's been, or what time it is but he can't sleep. 

It's the thoughts of wondering just who 'Younghyun' is, it's him trying to convince himself that his tattoo and the title of Jaehyung's book have no relation. 

But when you're someone like Brian, it's hard to know things for sure.

The boy finally goes to sleep, thinking about the dandelion that marked his back, Jaehyung's interview, and Jaehyung's best seller. 


	2. Reasons

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> twitter: @zenkrcovers  
> kakao: zenaya  
> feel free to contact me about anything! I'm rather friendly and open to conversation :)

Some say there are 2 groups of people living in this world.

The first group believes that whatever happens, whether it being good or bad, is pure coincidence. There's no specific explanations to occurrences.

Meanwhile, group two believes that everything happens for a reason. Whether the reason being good or bad isn't up to them, but they have faith that everything that happens has an explanation. 

And being in group two, Brian was currently searching for the reason he was watching a tall familiar man trying to get coffee off his jacket, as he apologized for bumping into Brian.

"Oh Gosh, sorry" he says and he finally looks up

"Younghy-"

"Brian." he clarifies before Jaehyung could get his hopes up again,

"From the cafe." he says with a smile as he sees slight disappointment fill the author's eyes.

"Ah, sorry again" Jae says with a laugh and he continues,

"Did I get any coffee on you? Sorry, I'm kind of clumsy"

"Nope, I'm clear. Looks like your jacket got all of it," he says with a laugh.

"Brian!" a loud voice interrupts the unnecessary and awkward small talk.

The two turn around to see someone they both recognized

"Oh!" is what Sungjin says afterwards, once he processes that Brian was talking to Jaehyung. He looks at Brian with a suggestive expression, his eyebrows raised.

"Hey again," he says to Jaehyung once he reached the two

"Hi," the author actually acknowledges his existence this time.

"Brian, we should get going, we're almost late" Sungjin notifies and Brian gives Jaehyung a quick goodbye and the 2 are off to work.

It's only a matter of time before Brian's predictions come true

"So... You and Jaehyung don't know each other, huh?"

"I knew you were gonna say something"

"How could I not, you two were fully talking!" Sungjin argues as he slips on their uniform.

"We were talking because he bumped into me, it was barely a conversation. If the exchange of a couple of words counts as a conversation to you, you should rethink your social life."

"What the Hell, don't have to be so mean.." Sungjin murmurs under his breath and Brian just laughs at him.

The work day goes smoothly, successful in the fact that Brian doesn't strangle Sungjin for the amount of questions he's asking about Jaehyung.

It's not that Sungjin's persistent teasing was annoying; Brian had gotten used to his best friend's antics after 3 years. 

It's the irritating feeling that Brian, himself, is unsure if he knows Jaehyung or not.

The reason being, Brian has already suffered 2 relapses.

Brian suffers from something called dissociative fugue disorder; which results in the complete loss of memory, which then leads to his loss of identity. 

The first time it happened, he was 12. Or at least, that's what his parents tell him.

He went to bed one night, and the next morning he woke up without the slightest clue of whose room he was in, or who he was.

Amidst the panicked and confused tears and questions, the 12 year old decides to trust the sleep adults who were assuring him that everything was fine, and that they were his parents, and they go to the hospital in their pyjamas. 

For all Brian knows, the second time it happens is when he's 20, while him and his parents were staying in Canada. And ever since then, he's known himself to be Brian Kang. 

It's frustrating, not being able to remember anything from before 4 years ago. It's not that he's unhappy with the life he's living now. At the young age of 24, Brian has a beautiful girlfriend who he loves sincerely, and vice versa. He has a small group of friends, and a best friend that's annoying but he wouldn't ask for anyone else.

But, still.

It's irritating when he's with his family and they're all talking about things that happened in the past, and he has to just smile and nod as if he's not upset by the fact that he doesn't remember it. 

It's sad that the only memories he has of his childhood are in photographs which his parents show to him proudly, and maybe explain something if Brian has a question.

It's that unsettling feeling of being unsure of who he really was. It's scary, living in fear that it'll happen again. Maybe, one day, he'll wake up and not know the girl sleeping soundly beside him, he won't know the brown haired boy that comes to his house when the girl starts panicking and calls someone for help. It's scary, in the sense that, everyone he knows now, he may forget tomorrow. The thought of his closest people being scared of getting hurt if Brian forgets them, and leaving him for someone that will actually remember them; it's scary. 

The doctors say that the memories can come back, but Brian hasn't experienced that luxury yet.

He's hoping he does, soon, so that family parties won't be as awkward. So that he can reassuringly know that 'Brian Kang' is who he is.

Because of this, he sincerely doesn't know if he knew Jaehyung or not.

The gap between 12 and 20 years old isn't in his memory, and he's unsure if Jaehyung had been erased too.

_I'll just ask my parents about it..._

He thinks as he's wiping down the counters,

_I mean, I'm sure they'd tell me if I was close to a famous author, right? There'd be no reason to leave it out when they're filling me in. But, just to be sure, when Minri and I go over for dinner this weekend, I'll ask. Who knows, maybe we were close or something-_

The boy's plans are cut off when he hears the familiar bell ring at the door, and when he looks up to greet the customer, he can already feel Sungjin's eyes on him.

Jaehyung walks in, not wearing pyjamas and a hoodie, but black dress pants and a white dress shirt tucked in at his waist. On his arm is his grey jacket, folded while a black messenger bag is slung across his shoulder.

"Hey, can I get an iced Americano," he says as he walks up to the register, cash ready. 

Sungjin's already preparing his drink, which leaves Jaehyung and Brian in silence.

"Back again?" he asks, and he doesn't know why he always feels the need to share some small talk with Jaehyung.

"Yeah, this cafe is really quiet compared to everywhere else. I love it" he says and he gives Sungjin a smile as he hands him his drink,

"Thanks..." he says, raising his eyebrows and Sungjin says,

"Oh, my name's Sungjin."

"Call me Jae, please" he says, referring to the both of them.

"Brian and Sungjin." Jae recites as he looks at the two baristas, 

"I think I'll be seeing you two quite often. Do you guys mind if I do my writing and stuff here?"

"You wanna write in public? At our cafe?" Sungjin asks

"Yeah, I mean, if you guys don't mind." Jae responds,

"I don't know, I just like this place" he says as he looks around, and then continues,

"It's a weird feeling to explain. But it makes me feel, like.. warm and safe. You feel me?" his true way of speaking was coming through.

But Brian knew what he meant. Because it's the same indescribable feeling he gets when he looks into Jae's eyes. 

"Yeah, I mean, I guess." Sungjin answers and adds,

"If you need anything else, just let us know" he says as Jae flashes a thankful smile and starts looking for a table.

Jae settles in the corner of the cafe, where the lights don't reach as much. He takes out his laptop, sets his Americano down and just stares at the screen.

"Don't. Even. Start." Brian warns and Sungjin just sighs, and puts his hands up in defeat.

"All I'm saying is that you _might_ know each other." 

Sungjin knows about Brian's disorder. 

And it's scary for him too. The idea of one day, his best friend won't be his best friend anymore. But, the fact that Brian trusts him and opens up to him knowing his condition, that's good enough for Sungjin. 

It's closing time, and Jaehyung is still there. Whether or not he's written another masterpiece is something Brian and Sungjin aren't sure of, because for the most part,everytime they looked over at the young man, he was just staring blankly at the screen.

"Still no inspiration?" Sungjin says as he's cleaning the tables surrounding Jaehyung

"I don't know what to write about, and it's annoying," Jae says with a smile as he starts packing up his stuff,

"Sorry for just staying here," he says and Sungjin waves at him with a warm smile,

"Don't be sorry. You could stay here for as long as you like. Well, not anymore, 'cause we're closing"

"The next time I'm here, I'll buy more things, don't worry,"

"So, you're gonna be coming back?" Brian says,

"Unless you and Sungjin are already tired of me," he jokes with a smile.

"Hey, Jae, I have something to ask you,"

"Yeah, shoot. I'm like an open book," 

Brian opens his mouth to speak, but closes it, as the 3 of them turn their heads to the entrance when they hear the bell go off,

"Sorry, we're clo-" Sungjin goes to inform but stops when he recognizes the girl walking in.

"Hi babe!" Minri says to Brian,

"Hi Sungjin," and he waves back before returning his attention to the table.

"Min-ah, what're you doing here?" Brian asks with a smile as he draws closer and hugs her

"You're the one that told me to come in next time."

Brian just smiles at her fondly, but then remembers what he was doing before his girlfriend came in.

"Oh, nevermind" he turns his attention to the tall man who was slipping on his jacket,

"I'll ask next time." he says and Jae just gives him a smile and nod

It's only then that Minri registers who the tall customer is, and her jaw becomes slacked.

"Oh my God" she whispers and escapes Brian's arms to go to Jae

"Hi Jaehyung! Oh my God, my- my name is Minri, and I'm a huge fan of your books!" she says and Brian hears Sungjin's snort of a laugh. 

"Oh, hi. Nice to meet you," he says as they shake hands

"I'm honoured to hear that," he continues with a dashing smile and Brian has this sudden feeling of jealousy, but he doesn't know which one he's jealous of; but the odd feeling goes away as soon as it came.

Minri's amazed smile is then replaced with a pout when she turns to look at Brian,

"I told you he was my favourite author, why didn't you tell me he was here?!" 

"Why would I invite a crazy fangirl to the cafe where he's trying to write?"

"I'm not crazy~" Minri whines as she makes her way back to her boyfriend

"Crazy for me?" Brian says and places a quick kiss on her cheek as Sungjin fake gags and Jae just laughs to himself at the cheesiness.

"Get a room you two~" Sungjin says as he throws the wet rag he was using to clean at Brian.

"Whatever," the latter says after catching the rag, as he starts cleaning the other tables

"I better get going, I think my friend might kill me-"

And once again the entrance bell goes off, and Sungjin doesn't even get a chance to tell the person that the cafe is closed when,

"Jae!" an unknown voice calls, and the group turns to see another young man, with light brown hair who's significantly shorter than Jae. He's dressed just as nicely, and has his phone in his left hand

"Oh, Pirimiri-ah!" Jae calls back,

"I told you not to call me that in public-" the other scolds, but his upset expression turns into awe when he sees Brian,

"You-"

"His name is Brian.. It's not him." Jae says with a sad smile and Brian only gets more curious.

"Ah, sorry.." the man's voice says,

"Is this where you were for the past 2 hours?!"

"5, actually." Jae corrects, and tries saying

"Wonpil, calm down-"

"You told me you were gonna meet me 2 hours ago! And I walk around town to find you here?" 

"I lost track of time, okay? Let's just get going now, stop being so loud at their cafe"

"I'm only loud because of your incompetence," Wonpil says and he turns to bow politely at Sungjin and Brian who didn't really know how to respond in the situation

"See you later, Brian, Sungjin" Jae says and looks at the girl in Brian's arms,

"Nice meeting you, Minri"

And the two were off, but not before Sungjin muttered a weak 'bye' with an awkward wave at Wonpil.

Silence takes over, but Brian breaks it saying,

"If you leave your mouth open like that, you'll drool" 

Sungjin immediately closes his mouth, pretending like he doesn't feel his cheeks start to warm up,

"Shut up."

"Ooo~ Sungjin has a crush on Jae's friend!" Brian teases and Minri has to quickly move out of the way, and just misses being tackled by Sungjin who is now chasing Brian around the cafe.

That night is another one of Brian simply staring at the ceiling; it didn't help that Wonpil thought he was Younghyun too, and he's just looking for some answers. Reasons as to why 2 people have mistaken him for someone that he's never heard of living in their town. 

When the weekend comes, Brian's more determined than excited.

He wants to ask his parents questions,which he hopes to get answers to. 

He decides to ask after dinner, because for some reason, he feels like it might ruin the mood, and he likes the sight of his mom and Minri talking to each other, smiles on their faces.

The 4 are in the living room, talking amongst themselves. 

"Hey, dad" Brian says, grabbing the attention of all of them,

"Can I see the photo albums from when I was younger?" and his mom gets up instead, happily returning with 2 albums filled with pictures.

Brian accepts them with a 'thank you' and then proceeds to look at them, as Minri moves to his side.

Brian was a cute baby, always smiling in the photos; it's a shame he doesn't remember any of this. Even the photo of him in a bumper car, and then one where he's at a water park, and he looks about 11 in both pictures. 

He flips through the pages slowly, mainly because Minri feels the need to comment on how cute Brian is in every photo, and his mom adds a few words in agreement.

He gets through one album, and hands it to Minri who insists on looking at them up close, and his mother joins her. He grabs the second one and begins flipping through, a little rushed even though he doesn't know what he's looking for. But, he suddenly pauses when he sees a photo. He, himself, looks about 14 or 15 in the photo, and beside him is a blonde boy with a wide smile.

Brian's pretty sure it can't be, but he decides to ask anyway

"Dad," he says, and his mom is listening now too

"Who is he?" he asks, pointing at the blonde happy boy who looks comfortable at Brian's side.

And the young man pretends like he doesn't notice the glance his parents share, as his dad says

"One of your friends in elementary,"

And Brian doesn't pay much mind to it, until he continues flipping through the photos, and realizes the blonde boy quite frequently appears in photos,

"Were we close?" Brian asks, and his mom is quiet for a moment, before she clears her throat and says,

"Yes." 

"What happened to us? Like, where is he now?" 

"That's not important." his dad answers, a little more seriously than Brian had expected,

"He's not at your side right now, like Minri and Sungjin are."

And because of the tense atmosphere, he decides to not ask more questions.

Even when he keeps flipping, and a photo catches his eye. It's of him, he looks older, closer to his current age, and by the balloons in the back, he concludes that it was at someone's 19th birthday, unsure if it was his though. But what's weird about this photo, is that it's cut. It's a clean cut, singling out Brian as he's smiling happy, but the manual cropping doesn't remove the arm around Brian's waist, and Brian's sincerely wondering who's eyes he's staring so happily into.

He's helping his mom wash the dishes, when he decides to look for more answers again. Minri is talking with his dad in the living room, and he takes advantage of him and his mom being alone

"Mom," he starts,

"Yes, sweetie?" she replies happily,

"Do you know when I got my tattoo?"

"When you just turned 20. You got it on your birthday," she answers and Brian's thankful that so far, she's not getting upset like his dad did.

Brian's quiet for a while, trying not to let his mind run wild with theories about Jaehyung's interview; his best seller.

"Do you... Do you know _why_ I got it?"

His mom goes quiet, and Brian's just wishing he didn't have this stupid disorder so he wouldn't have all these questions. If he could just remember, there would be no reason to ask questions, because he would know himself. 

"I-I don't remember clearly," she replies, and Brian can almost hear the lie laced in her voice,

"But, I think, someone got one with you. I don't know who, but you had gotten tattoos." 

"Were they matching ones?"

"Brian." his mom stops rinsing the dishes, the kitchen going silent as she stops the flow of water. 

"Your dad and I have told you about your life before the relapse, and you accepted it. Why are you suddenly interested in your past?"

Brian laughs awkwardly,

"Is that a bad thing? I mean, it's not like there's anything to hide, right?" he says, directed more to himself than his mother.

"And, it's nothing serious.. Just curious, no real reason." Brian answers.

And he doesn't tell his parents that a tall boy with blonde hair, who is good with words is the cause.

Because, even to him, it sounds ridiculous. Him questioning the life he's known, and his identity because of someone he knows as a stranger, it's a bit far-fetched. 

And so, he chucks the sudden interest up to curiosity, refusing to admit that Park Jaehyung was the reason.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've decided I will most likely update this daily, considering it's already completed on another site lol.


	3. Inspiration

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> twitter: @zenkrcovers  
> kakao: zenaya  
> feel free to contact me on either of those! I'm friendly and enjoy conversation lol

"What's wrong, babe?" Minri asks, concerned because it's already been 20 minutes into their drive home and Brian hasn't said anything.

"Huh? Oh, nothing." he says, and the way he says it is enough to give away the lie.

Minri looks at her boyfriend, his eyes on the road but his mind focused on something else,

"Seriously, Brian, is something bothering you?"

"No, I'm fine," he assures, but the irritation in his voice is a little more evident than he had intended.

Minri scoffs before saying,

"Oh c'mon, Brian. I know when something's bugging you, I've known you for 4 years-"

"Yeah? Well, I've known myself for 4 years too."

Brian snaps, cutting Minri off and catching her off guard. Brian bites his lower lip as the atmosphere just becomes awkward and tense. Minri just stares out the window, unsure of what to say to not make the situation worse.

"Sorry..." Brian says after minutes of silence.

"I-I know you mean well, and I'm an idiot for snapping at you like that, I'm sorry."

"It's fine.. sorry for asking."

"Don't be sorry, Minri, I.." Brian sighs before saying,

"It's just, I'm starting to have some doubts."

"Doubts?" she says, panicked

"Not doubts about our relationship," he quickly clarifies,

"But doubts about my past. And I know it sounds stupid to question everything right now, and please don't misunderstand, I'm not unhappy with my life right now. But, things have happened recently and I just can't help but question things..."

"What happened?" she asks, and Brian replies with,

"I'll tell you when I find answers, okay? I'm sorry, but please just bear with my annoying self, right now."

Minri places her hand over Brian's that's resting on top of the gear stick, a wordless comfort offered to her boyfriend which he gratefully accepts. 

The rest of the car ride home is slightly awkward, and Brian wishes he hadn't snapped earlier, but knows apologizing again would just make things even more awkward. They wash up and go to bed, and Brian kisses Minri's forehead as he wishes her good night, and she smiles and echoes his words. It's another night where Brian is kept awake, and he wonders how many times these nights have occured ever since he met a tall, blonde man.

"Hey Bri, you okay?" Sungjin asks, and he wonders if he can't control his expressions because Minri isn't the only one that notices.

"Yeah, fine. Just can't sleep recently," replies with a smile,

"Let me know if you need anything, bud" 

"I'm not sick Sungjin, things are just keeping me up." he says with a light laugh that somewhat comforts Sungjin.

"Hey, should I prepare an Iced Americano?" Sungjin asks,

"Did someone order it?"

"Jae will, won't he?" 

"Who said he was coming today?"

"Just hopeful thinking." Sungjin says before he adds,

"Hoping for Jae to bring his friend?" Brian teases and before Sungjin can hit Brian in the arm, the familiar bell rings.

"Hey!" Jae's loud voice says, and Brian feels a bit anxious.

"Hey-" Sungjin goes to greet but once he processes who follows in behind Jae, Brian's already holding back his laughter.

"Can I get an Iced Americano, and... Wonpil, what do you want?" Jae asks the guy behind him once he meets Brian at the register.

"See, I could've just prepared it" Sungjin comments for Brian to hear, and he just laughs as Wonpil says,

"I'll get a Caramel Macchiato, please" 

Sungjin hands Jae's regular order as he gives his friend a smile while saying,

"I'll have that Caramel Macchiato in a few." 

Wonpil smiles back and just gives a slight nod.

"You're here a little early" Brian comments and Jae takes a sip of his drink before saying,

"Yeah, decided to stop by here first before chilling with Wonpil today."

"So, you're not gonna be writing today?" 

"No, I will. I'll come back later tonight, so you and Sungjin better be working all day" Jae replies with a laugh as Sungjin gives Wonpil his drink.

"Thanks," he says and Sungjin flashes a smile and a quick

"You're welcome"

"Hey, so, you're gonna be back tonight, right?" Brian asks, and Jae nods,

"Yup."

"Can I ask you that question I was about to ask last time?"

"Yeah, sure. You can ask right now if you want."

"No, it's okay.. I'll just ask later, you and Wonpil should get going."

"Geez, already kicking me out" Jae says, shaking his head in faux offense, but his light laugh is enough to cause a smile to form on Brian's face.

"See you guys later" Jae says, waving at Sungjin and Brian.

And Brian tries to ignore the quiet,

"He really looks like Younghyun, should you really keep coming back here?" 

"Yes, I'm gonna keep coming back here, what even-" Jae laughs a bit before saying,

"And I know... But, he's not." 

And Jae and Wonpil are out the door, sharing some small talk.

A couple of hours pass, and it's drawing closer to the time Jae would usually show up

"Bri, didn't your shift end a while ago?" Sungjin asks,

"Yeah, but I figured I'd take some hours. Aren't you happy I'm staying with you?" Brian says with a smile, and Sungjin scoffs before saying,

"I'd rather have to work rush hour alone than have you stay overtime" he jokes.

"Fine, don't call me the next time you're flooded and I'm relaxing with Minri,"

"Sure.. _Relaxing_ ," Sungjin says suggestively as he raises his eyebrows, and Brian whips the rag at him. 

"Oh, Jae's back" Sungjin comments, as the sound of a cleaning rag hitting Sungjin's arm masked the ringing of the bell.

"Iced Americano?" the brown haired boy asks, and Jae shakes his head,

"No, it's okay. I'm determined to write tonight, without any coffee."

"Oh, so why'd you come by?"

"I like it here. Plus, Brian said he has something to ask me"

Sungjin looks at Brian and Brian just focuses on Jae,

"Oh." Sungjin says, and Brian hears the amusement in his best friend's voice. 

"I'll wait in my usual corner, and try writing something" Jae informs,

"He can talk to you now." Sungjin answers for Brian,

"His shift ended a while ago. It was weird, him staying back past his hours" he says, and Brian just glares at him

"Oh, why didn't you tell me? I could've swung by a while ago"

"It's okay, you were hanging out with your friend that Sungjin has a crush on" the latter gets revenge,

"I do _not!_ " Sungjin sounds like an 11 year-old trying to defend himself and Jae muses at the situation.

Brian and Jae are sitting in front of each other, Jae's eyes focused on his laptop screen as Brian searches for ways to ask his question correctly.

"So, uh..." he starts off, and Jae laughs,

"You can speak comfortably. Honestly, you can ask me anything." 

"This isn't my main question, but why are you so open to people?" Brian asks,

"I mean, you only know my name. Not even my family name, and not only that- you're a famous author, yet you seem so open to people and really social."

Brian wonders if the question is offensive, but the thoughtful and not irritated face Jae's displaying tells him no.

"I've been like this my whole life," and Brian wonders if he was like that too. 

He wonders if he didn't used to be protective over himself. But it's hard not to be cautious of who he lets into his life, when he can forget them any day.

"I think it's 'cause I like people." Jae says,

"I like having people to talk to, and being someone they can confide in. It's comforting, having people there for you." 

And Brian smiles before saying,

"Your professional author is showing."

"What can I say, got a thing with words." Jae replies with a smile.

"Okay, so, you don't have to answer if you don't want to because this probably sounds like a breach of privacy" Brian says, and he doesn't know when he and Jae got comfortable enough for him to talk like this.

"Ask away"

And Brian sits there, thinking for a while. He doesn't want to make Jae uncomfortable, but his parents weren't giving him answers, so maybe Jae could.

"What..." he starts off, still unsure if he should ask, but then just goes for it,

"Who's Younghyun?" and Jae's eyes go back to the screen as he bites his lower lip, and Brian's curious emotion is tinged with regret.

"Sorry.." is what Brian adds,

"It's just, you thought I was him, and your friend did too as soon as he saw me, so I was just curious."

"No, it's fine, no need to be sorry." Jae says with a smile, and thinks fondly before saying.

"Hmm.. Let's see, where to start off with Younghyun." 

And Brian finds himself listening so intently that he doesn't hear Sungjin telling him that Minri will be coming by at the end of the day.

"Well, right now, he would be the same age as me, 24." and Brian ignores the fact that he's the same age, too.

"He's not dead or anything, or at least I don't know if he is. He was someone I was really close to in elementary, and throughout high school. He was always shorter than me, so I wonder if that changed." 

"Why'd he disappear?" Brian asks, and Jae just shrugs,

"Hell if I know... One day, he just left. I don't want to expose his life story, so I'll just say his parents didn't have the best feelings about how close we were."

"Were you guys dating?" and Brian wants to smack himself for being so thoughtless and just letting the question slip. Jae gives a sad, regretful laugh before saying,

"No. No, we weren't. God, it's kind of weird telling you about him, considering you look exactly like him." he laughs a bit at the end of his words, and then silence takes over.

The silence gives Brian time to think. He chooses to not ask if Younghyun had a tattoo, or when Younghyun had disappeared, or if Jae had always been blonde, even at the age of around 15. 

"Can I ask you something?" Jae says. and Brian looks up,

"Uh, yeah, okay. I can't promise answering everything though," and Jae responds with,

"Fair enough." and Brian waits until Jae says,

"Who are you?"

And Brian gapes for too long so Jae says,

"You're not Younghyun, you're Brian. But, just _who are you_?" 

Brian wants to know the answer to that question himself. He wants to reply with "I don't know." but instead, says

"Well, I'm Brian Kang." 

"Park Jaehyung, nice to meet you." and Brian doesn't know if they had met long before. 

"I'm 24, work here with that annoying piece of-"

"I can hear you." Sungjin interrupts, and Brian and Jae laugh.

"I work here, but I consider myself to be a musician. You met my girlfriend, Minri, and that's pretty much it."

"Hmm, what instrument do you play? Or do you just sing?"

"I play the guitar, and sing a bit." Brian says and Jae laughs before saying,

"Okay, you're not Younghyun, then. Even though he had one, Younghyun couldn't play guitar to save his life," 

And Brian chooses to ignore the countless times his parents would look at him, surprised, while eating, and when he asked what's wrong they would say,

"You never used to eat that. You hated that.".

He doesn't pay mind to the words of the doctor telling him that due to the loss of memory and identity, Brian may find himself doing things he never did before.

And he disregards the fact that the only reason he started playing guitar was because there just happened to be one in his room.

"When'd you start playing?" Jae asks,

"About 3 years ago." he answers,

"Oh, that's pretty recent. Have you liked music since you were young, though?"

"I don't know. I mean, I guess I could have." 

Jae gives a curious face before asking,

"What's that supposed to mean?" and Brian looks at him, wondering if he should tell Jae or not. And he decides, why the Hell not?

"I have this condition, and I can't remember my past."

"Alzheimer's?"

"What, no dude, I'm 24" Brian says, and Jae shrugs,

"There have been cases where it occurs when people are like, middle-aged." and they laugh a bit before Jae says,

"So, what do you have? If you don't mind me asking."

"It's something called dissociative fugue disorder... It's like if someone pressed the reset button on my life, and I lose all my memories from before that point in time. For all I know, 2 resets have happened. So, you asking me 'who are you' is something I, myself, would like to know for certain."

"Oh my God..." Jae says quietly as he stares into Brian's eyes.

A few moments have passed, and neither of them have looked away.

"You're fascinating." Jae says, and Brian doesn't know how to respond. 

"Uh, thanks? I mean, I don't really think forgetting my whole is fascinating, but..." is what Brian says to the compliment that make him sound like something other than human.

Jae looks at him for a little longer before snapping his fingers, and Brian can almost hear the light bulb turning on in the blonde man's head.

"Thank you." he says, and Brian gives him a bewildered expression,

"For what?"

"For inspiring me." Jae answers with a smile,

"You've dispelled my writer's block. Okay, hear me out. So, a man, let's call him 'A' has what you have, dissociate fugue disorder, right? So, he has a lover, and let's call them 'B' but then A suffers a reset. Completely forgetting everything they had, and so they're separated for a while. Then, in some strange twist of fate, they meet again. A has a new lover, but B knows it's him. And so, the story can go on to be about the struggle B goes through while trying to either, get over A, or get him back."

It's a long silence, and the two are just staring at each other.

"So, what do you think?" Jae asks about his prompt, that he kind of seems proud of.

"Do you normally share your plots and ideas to strangers?"

"Do you normally tell strangers your life story? Or at least, what you remember of it." Jae counters, before giving Brian a smile and going on to say,

"I think we're too involved with each other to be called 'strangers' at this point."

"Fair enough," Brian says,

"That being said, you should stop with the awkward small talk whenever we meet" Jae says and Brian hears Sungjin's laugh, before he pretends to hit Jae, making the latter flinch with a laugh.

"I'll leave you to your writing, then." the barista gets up,

"I'm assuming I'll see you soon?"

"Oh, yeah, definitely. I'll be doing most of my writing here, now that I have an idea" 

"Here, still?" Brian asks, "Why not at the comfort of your own home?"

And Brian can't explain the warm feeling he gets when Jae looks into his eyes, and flashes him a cute smile. It's thankful, but the author's eyes are unreadable as he says,

"Because my inspiration is here." 

To avoid Jae noticing his surprisingly red cheeks, Brian turns around so that he doesn't look at Jae for too long.

"Lame" with a laugh, is all Brian responds with because his brain is searching for the reason why he's blushing, as he walks back to go back behind the counter with Sungjin..

Jae's laughing too, but then it trails off. 

Maybe it's because Jae and Brian always meet face to face, but it's only now that Jae sees black ink that marks Brian's nape. 

Not much is exposed, but the letters are pretty much legible. It's the same letters that Younghyun had, in the exact same place where he remembers Younghyun telling the tattoo artist to place the design, when he turned 20.

Jae's thoughts are interrupted for a moment when the entrance bell goes off, and Minri walks in happily skipping to Brian, and Sungjin playfully stops her saying,

"Only staff allowed back here."

The blonde author looks at Brian who's hugging Minri, and it's at that moment that Jaehyung realizes that the idea inspired by Brian, the plot he created and was excited to start writing; was a story, with 'A' being Younghyun, and pathetic 'B' who's left to struggle and figure things out alone, being himself.

"Oh, going already?" Sungjin asks as he notices Jae packing up.

"U-Uh, yeah, it's getting late, and I'm just a little more tired than usual, today." Jae doesn't mean to sound panicked, but he can't help it because Younghyun is right in front of him, but he's not the Younghyun he knows; the Younghyun that knows Jae.

"Oh... Okay, see you soon, then Jae." Sungjin replies.

"Bye guys!" Jae says as naturally as he can, and walks out the cafe. 

Jae's sitting on Wonpil's couch as the shorter of the two makes some tea.

"I'm telling you, it's him." Jae says as Wonpil walks towards him with the cups, and sits across from Jae.

"Jae, you don't know that. It could just be someone with the same tattoo as him,"

"Living in the city we grew up in? The same face we both remember, even his voice? And about the tattoo, yeah sure, I would understand if it was the same tattoo but it's on the same place Younghyun had it."

It's quiet as Jae bites his lower lip, thinking about the lost Younghyun who has resurfaced as Brian.

"And what if it is?" Wonpil finally says something, and Jae looks up from his knees.

"He is" Jae says quietly before Wonpil continues,

"So what if Brian is Younghyun? He doesn't know that, he doesn't remember anything about us, Jae. He's not the same Younghyun that we knew; that you loved."

Wonpil makes a good point, and even Jae can't deny the obvious facts. And there's also the fact that Brian may not even be Younghyun, but Jae wants to take a chance.

"What group are you in?" Jae asks after a while. 

They've been sitting quietly for almost 20 minutes, both of them thinking and sipping their tea in Wonpil's dimly lit living room.

"What?" Wonpil asks, confused as to where this random question was coming from.

"They say there are 2 groups of people. Group 1 thinks everything that happens is coincidence, while Group 2 believes that everything happens for a reason. So, what group are you in?"

"Group 2." he answers.

"Okay, same. And so, I'm going to choose to believe that I met Brian for a reason." Jae says, and leans back and Wonpil looks at him suspiciously as Jae says,

"Whether the reason being he's actually Younghyun is something I'm just going to have to find out."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yup this will be a daily thing lol  
> please comment any thoughts, i love reading comments!


	4. Confirmed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> twitter: @zenkrcovers | kakao: zenaya  
> feel free to contact me on either! I'm friendly and enjoy conversation lol

Jaehyung has devised a plan, much to Wonpil's objection and disapproval.

His genius plan will go as follows, he'll get closer to Brian and his reason will be 'need inspiration and reference for a new story'. Them becoming close will hopefully lead to them being comfortable enough for Jae to ask him if he can meet his parents. And when Brian inevitably ends up asking 'why' because Jae admits, that request is kind of unusual, the author will answer 'I would like to ask them how they feel about your disorder, it'll help with character development' and any other elements of a story he can think of once he actually asks. 

And the last part of this plan, is actually meeting Brian's parents to confirm if he is Younghyun, who doesn't remember Jae or even being Younghyun.

And this genius plan is the reason he's currently having a conversation with Brian over the counter. Sungjin has already given him his regular, but he decides to stay at the counter and converse with Brian

"Dude, I'm telling you it was crazy"

"Why would you even think that was okay?!"

Jaehyung just finished telling him about the graduating prank he participated in. He didn't get caught, but a lot of his friends did,

"Oh c'mon, we were graduating. We didn't care! Plus Younghyun finally agreed to do something fun," Jae says while laughing, and Brian laughs too.

"Younghyun wasn't adventurous?"

"Oh no, he was. He just didn't like getting caught for it," Jae replies.

This kind of conversation is nice. It's the most natural one he's had with Brian, and the amount of times Brian has laughed creates a warm feeling in Jae's chest.

"So, did you ever get caught?"

"After my first book came out, I went back to my high school and told my favourite teacher that I was part of the group of students that had a little fun."

"A little fun?" Brian asks,

"You vandalized the school!"

"Hey." Jae says,

"They got all the paint off eventually." 

"God, if I were a teacher and I caught you..."

"What? What would you do?" Jae taunts, and Brian only gets to gesture to beating Jae, when their laughs are overlapped with the ringing of the entrance bell. 

"Oh!" Brian says surprised, and Jae takes another sip of his Americano, a smile on his face.

But, the smile is wiped off his face when he turns around to see who Brian's cheerfully greeting,

Jae turns around, to be faced with 2 familiar people. 

People he thought he would never see again. And with a slightly horrified expression, Jae's genius plan comes crumbling down. 

"Mom, Dad, what're you guys doing here?" Brian asks, happily.

And they don't answer right away, because they're staring at Jae, with an expression that Jae concludes is a mix between amazement and fear.

"We, uh" Mr. Kang says, not breaking the eye contact with Jae,

"We thought we would come by, see how you're doing." and Jae scoffs, shaking his head slightly.

"Oh, hi Mr. & Mrs. Kang!" Sungjin says as he comes back with some sugar cookies, and offers one to Jae. Jae shakes his head, not really in the mood to eat something sweet right now.

"Actually, I made you some lunch and wanted to deliver it in person" Mrs. Kang says, avoiding Jae's gaze. 

"Ah, right!" Sungjin interrupts, and swings an arm around Brian's neck,

"It's our Brian's birthday!" 

And if Mr. & Mrs. Kang wasn't a dead giveaway, Brian's birthday being the same as Younghyun's ends the suspicion and guessing.

Jae's having a staring duel with Mr. Kang and Brian notices them, before saying,

"Oh, this is my friend, Jae" and Jae resists the urge to say, 

_Oh, don't worry. He knows exactly who I am._

"Ah yes, Jaehyung. I know you," and Jae squints, forgetting for a moment that his stories are known around the world

"You're an author, correct?" 

"Yes, I am." Jae says, trying to smile as naturally as he can, not wanting to cause a scene in front of Brian.

"I didn't know such a famous author would live in our little town." Mrs. Kang adds, and Jae is experienced with words enough to read between the lines.

"Well, I grew up here. Wouldn't want to leave my roots." Jae states what they know, but something about his words are challenging.

"You didn't want to leave? Go into the big city," he says with an awkward chuckle. 

After disappearing 4 years ago, Jae guesses that that's what the Kang parents thought he would do.

"Nope." he replies bluntly, 

"I had something to wait for here." and Mr. Kang narrows his eyes at the tall, blonde boy.

"And I think it was worth the wait." Jae says, almost teasingly. 

Brian looks at his dad and Jaehyung, and his curiosity only grows. 

Jaehyung was polite when they first met. Of course, he's a public face and people know him. Sure, he was friendly and social, even to Brian, but looking at the way his dad and Jae are talking, it's the most serious he's seen Jae.

It's almost intimidating, and Brian wonders why his dad and Jae are talking to each other like this.

Jae breaks the eye-contact, silently sighing as he turns to Brian.

"Happy Birthday, man" he greets with a sincere smile, and grabs his Americano,

"25?" he asks, remembering Brian telling him he was 24 when they were talking.

"24,"

"That's what you said like last week" Jae says, laughing lightly

"I was pretty much 24" Brian replies and Jae just nods and repeats,

"Happy Birthday, Bri"

"Thanks. You leaving already?" Brian asks as Jae motions towards the door.

Jae looks at the Kang parents whose eyes are following him, as if being cautious to what he'll do.

"Yeah, I got something important to do. I'll come back tonight though!" Jae says, and is almost amused at the expression on the Kang parents' face.

"All right, see you!"

"Bye!" Sungjin says, and Jae gives him a wave.

Jae waits till he's significantly far away from the cafe before he starts running, and calling Wonpil,

"Hello?" Wonpil answers the call, and isn't prepared for Jae to start screaming,

"I'll be at your place in like, 7 minutes! It's important!"

"Wait, what, no don't come-"

"'Kay, be there soon, bye!" Jae cuts off and before Wonpil can start screaming at him, the author ends the call.

Back at the cafe, Brian's unsure of what to do with the awkward atmosphere. He's never seen his parents like this, so he's just getting more curious.

"Brian," his dad speaks first, and Brian hums in response

"When did you meet Jae?" 

"Hmm," Brian thinks,

"About 2 weeks ago, I think? Almost 3" he answers his dad, and decides to ask,

"Why?"

And it seems to catch his dad off guard, so he almost stutters when replying,

"No reason, just wondering."

After a couple minutes of silence, Mrs. Kang says,

"So, you and Jaehyung are friends?" 

And Brian doesn't know why, but his smile is really wide when he replies,

"Yup!" and he doesn't see the odd expressions on his parents faces

"He's pretty cool, for an author. I thought since he was so famous and good looking, he would be conceited, but he's really chill. Or, if not conceited, he'd be really boring." he says and Sungjin nods in agreement. 

"Thanks for the lunch" Brian says with a cute smile, 

"You guys should get going. The cafe might get busy soon, and you guys have work soon" he adds, and after a couple of words of goodbye, his parents leave.

"That's cute." Sungjin comments during their lunch break,

"They came and gave you a lunch" and Brian laughs as he takes a bite of his mom's cooking.

"Hey," Brian says, 

"Did you, uh, notice the tense atmosphere when my dad was talking to Jae?"

"Yeah!" Sungjin replies, almost immediately,

"It was weird. I've never seen either of them look so serious..." he continues.

"Yeah, it was weird..." Brian comments, nodding his head subconsciously, as he tries to think of reasons for their behaviour. 

"Are you _sure_ it was them?" Wonpil asks, his voice still hoarse considering the reason he woke up as Jae's phonecall.

"100%." Jae answers without any hesitation.

"Younghyun is Brian, Wonpil, and I don't know what to do about it."

Wonpil's quiet, sincerely at a loss for words to advise Jae.

"This is like a novel, what kind of coincidence..."

"Not a coincidence." Wonpil says,

" 'Group 2' Jae, you said you'll believe there's a reason he's in your life again." 

And Jae laughs, amused that Wonpil is turning his words against him.

It's quiet for a while before Jae says,

"It's his birthday." and Wonpil almost winces at how sad Jaehyung sounds.

"It was 4 years ago that we got those tattoos. And then he disappeared."

Wonpil knows. He was by Jae's side through it all. He also knows that the only reason Jae's still in this little town, instead of in the city in a luxurious apartment, is because he was waiting for Younghyun to return.

"So what do you plan on doing, Jae?"

Jae doesn't know,

"I guess, I'll just go with phase one of my plan."

"God, that stupid plan" Wonpil says, laughing a bit,

"Hey, atleast it'll give me a chance to get closer to him. Then, maybe then I can decide if I just let him go or try and get him back..."

"Are you gonna be okay with that, though?" Wonpil asks,and Jae looks up, tilting his head slightly prompting Wonpil to continue,

"Are you gonna be okay knowing that the Younghyun you loved is right beside you, and doesn't remember you? Are you gonna be okay getting close to someone you used to be inseparable from, someone you can't forget yet he can't remember."

It's quiet, and Wonpil thinks Jae's in deep thought before the blonde looks at Wonpil and says,

"Do you want to co-author sometime?" 

Wonpil scoffs before throwing a pillow at Jae who catches it and gives him a laugh,

"I'll be fine, Piri-"

"Stop with that nickname, I hate it."

"You're so serious, you should get a boyfriend." Jae says, and gets up quickly before Wonpil starts chasing him around his living room.

"Shouldn't you go home?" Brian asks,

"No way I'm leaving my best friend to work till closing alone, on his birthday." Sungjin answers.

The 2 usually have the same shifts, but Sungjin got off a little earlier today. 

"It's weird when you're nice" Brian comments, looking at Sungjin suspiciously, and his best friend just gives him a laugh.

It was dark outside, only about half an hour till they close up and can leave.

"Any plans for today?" 

"Today? Nope. Probably just gonna chill with Minri at home."

"Excited for the party on Saturday?" 

"I mean, it's just friends, so I'm pretty excited."

"Hey, why don't you invite Jae?"

And Brian looks at him confused,

"You guys are friends, right?" Sungjin asks,

"Yeah, but.. Like, we're not that close or anything." Brian answers with a scoff,

"But, it's the quickest I've ever seen you become friends with someone. It took you about a month of me nagging you to finally talk to me," Sungjin comments and Brian just gives him a guilty smile,

"I don't even have his number, I can't just randomly invite him. Plus, he's an author, he probably has plans." 

Sungjin decides to just give Brian a shrug and continue helping Brian clean up the dishes. They're both behind the counter, eyes down on the dishes as they're talking about trivial things. 

The entrance bell ringing and Jae's voice saying,

"Brian!" catches both of their attention, and they look up.

It's a cute picture, similar to one out of a drama. They look up to see Jae, in some sleek black pants, and a plain white sweater on top. It's the most normal casual Brian has seen him, and it's kind of amusing. But, his outfit isn't what's important.

Considering the cafe is usually lit by natural lighting due to the abundance of windows, it was currently dimly lit due to the late hour.

But lit candles were lighting the cafe up, as Jae held a cake in his hands.

"Happy Birthday" he says with a smile, and Brian can't help the cute smile that appears on his face.

He goes out from behind the counter to accept the cake, 

"What the..." his voice trails off, amazed that Jae would actually do something like this for him.

"You didn't have to"

"Wanted to." Jae answers, and motions the cake closer to Brian

"Make a wish" he orders with a cute smile, and Brian thinks for a while.

Jae doesn't mean to, but he ends up wishing for something when Brian takes a deep breath, and as he blows out the candles he says to himself,

Please get your memories back.

Brian claps for himself while smiling,

"What'd you wish for?" 

"Secret." Brian answers and Jae scoffs and rolls his eyes as Brian laughs and takes the cake from Jae. But, although they don't know, they both wished for the same thing.

"Oh, you're here too, Sungjin?" Jae asks as Brian sets the cake down on the counter

"Yeah, glad I stayed, too. Get some free cake." he replies with a laugh and Brian comes back with a knife to start cutting the cake.

"Wait!" Jae says before Brian gets to cut the cake, 

"Sungjin and I have to sing you a little song"

"Oh God, wait no, don't-" Brians refusal is cut off when Jae starts to scream more than sing,

"Happy Birthday to You! Happy Birthday to you!~"

Brian looks at Sungjin, his expression a plea to get Jae to stop, but Sungjin just shrugs at Brian before giving a wide smile and joining Jae in the song. Brian bites his lower lip, closes his eyes and shakes his head in half embarrassment and half annoyance. 

They finally finish the song, and Jae and Sungjin are just laughing,

"I hate you guys." Brian just sighs with a smile,

"And you guys are supposed to sing before I blow the candles out!" he informs, and the cafe fills with the laughter of only 3 people, but it makes Brian feel happy. 

Brian finally cuts the cake, and Jae says

"I didn't know if you liked vanilla or chocolate, so like I got half and half." 

"I like vanilla, but Sungjin likes chocolate so it works out" Brian replies and Jae tries to ignore the nagging memory of Younghyun devouring chocolate cakes, while complaining that Jae's favourite, vanilla, was boring.

The 3 are eating the cake, and Jae isn't used to sharing the vanilla portion of cakes with Younghyun, or in this case, Brian.

"Hey, uh, are you doing anything this Saturday?" Brian asks, and Sungjin looks up from his cake, an amused expression on his face

"Saturday?" Jae thinks for a while,

"Nope, don't think so. Why?"

"Having a little birthday get-together, if you wanna come?" 

"Yeah, sure!" Jae says excited,

"You sure you want me there though?" he jokes, and Brian just nods and passes Jae his phone.

"Put your number in, I'll text you the address" 

Jae accepts his phone, and types in his name.

It's weird, having to put his name and number into Brian's phone, when he was #1 in Emergency Contacts & Favourites in Younghyun's phone. 

Jae's about to put in his number when he looks at Brian,

"If you expose my number, my manager will kill me." Jae warns, but Brian can tell it's not a threat because of the childish smile on his face.

"It's safe with me," Brian says, but Jae's already typed in his phone number, and is handing back Brian's phone.

Jae looks at Sungjin who's just enjoying the cake, before teasingly asking,

"Do you want Wonpil's number?"

And Sungjin almost chokes on the piece of chocolate cake he's eating, and the sound of Brian's amused clapping and laughter fills the empty cafe.

"No, I don't" Sungjin strongly denies, 

"Not yet, he needs to get closer to him first" Brian says and Sungjin slaps him in the arm.

Brian doesn't know why, but this seems familiar. Jae being by his side, and spending his birthday with him, it's a feeling that he thinks he's experienced before, and the way Jae looks so comfortable sharing the birthday cake is nice, but it's also never wracking.

"So, I'll see you Saturday?" Brian asks when Jae's getting ready to leave the cafe,

"Yup." and he looks at Sungjin before asking,

"Want me to bring Wonpil?"

"Yeah, bring him!" Brian encourages

"Wait, seriously?" Jae says and Brian just nods

"Can you guys stop?~" Sungjin whines,

"Oh!" Brian says,

"He didn't deny it this time!"

"I hate you guys, I'm leaving." Sungjin gives up, and leaves, shaking his head and waving at the 2 before leaving.

"Happy Birthday, Yo- Brian" Jae quickly corrects, and if Brian wasn't so curious about his past and Younghyun, maybe he wouldn't have noticed.

"Thanks, Jae" he replies, and the two part ways.

"You do know you have your own apartment." Wonpil says, clearly unamused that Jae crashes at his place so often.

"But I need someone to talk to about Younghyun." 

"Go write in a diary or something!" 

"Pirmiri~"

"Why do I deal with you" Wonpil mumbles, as he gets extra blankets for Jae

"Oh!"

"What now?" Wonpil groans 

"Come with me on Saturday!" Jae says,

"Where?"

"Brian's birthday thing"

"What? No!" he refuses,

"Oh c'mon, Brian told me to bring you!"

"Why were you guys talking about me?"

"Because his friend likes you"

"Shut up, he does not" Wonpil says and Jae values his life so he decides not to tease Wonpil about his blushing cheeks.

"Just come~"

"It's gonna be weird! Being with Younghyun, but he's not Younghyun-"

"Do you know how weird it was sharing _vanilla_ cake with him? Vanilla!" Jae repeats,

"Please come." he adds and Wonpil just sighs, but Jae takes the silence as a 'yes' because there's no objection.

"I'm going to bed. Good night" is what Wonpil says,

"Thanks for agreeing to come!"

"I didn't agree!" he practically yells and slams the door to his bedroom, leaving Jae in the living room.

Jae doesn't sleep though.

His mind is too busy flowing with all the possibilities, because there's no more guessing.

There's no more suspicion or 'what if's because it's confirmed.

Brian is Younghyun; but he doesn't know what that means or who that is.

So, the author is kept awake due to the excitement, fear and anxiety that came with confirming that Younghyun has resurfaced as a person with dissociative fugue disorder named Brian.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please comment any thoughts, I love reading comments & I reply to every one :')


	5. Toxic

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> twitter: @zenkrcovers | kakao: zenaya  
> feel free to message me on either of those! I'm friendly lol

"I can't believe I'm doing this." Wonpil says.

He's currently sitting in the passenger seat of Jae's car, as they're parked in front of an apartment building that neither of them are familiar with.

"C'mon, it'll be fun" Jae assures,

"I'm gonna regret this." 

"Stop being like this" Jae scolds and Wonpil sighs before unbuckling his seatbelt.

"You better not ditch me, I don't know anyone here but you"

Jae opens his mouth to say something, but Wonpil cuts him off,

"And don't say Younghyun is here, because this is _Brian's_ party." 

Jae mumbles something under his breath and just continues to walk to the door, which he holds open for Wonpil. 

"Do you know his buzzer number?"

"Yeah, he texted it to me"

And with a couple of beeps and pressing of numbers, a dial tone filled the entry of the apartment.

"Hello?" Brian's voice speaks through the speakers, and Wonpil and Jae can hear the faint conversation and music in the background,

"Bri, it's Jae" 

"Oh, okay!" he says, and hangs up, and soon enough Wonpil and Jae hear the door unlock.

They're walking through to lobby and to the elevators, when Wonpil looks at Jae,

" _Bri_?" he echoes, and Jae just rolls his eyes at Wonpil's teasing tone.

"Whatever, it's easier than calling him Brian." 

They get in the elevator, and Jae presses the correct floor.

"Jae." Wonpil says, and there's no sign of joking in his voice,

"Don't get too drunk. That'll mean you'll ditch me or something. I mean it, I have no problem in driving us home or anything, but I know how you get when you get too-"

"Yes, _Mom_ , okay~" Jae says as they reach the floor, and the elevator dings before opening. 

"I won't get too drunk, I swear."

Wonpil gives him a warning stare before following him down the hall and eventually end up in front of what Wonpil assumes to be Brian's door.

Jae knocks, but not before looking at Wonpil and asking if what he's wearing is okay, only to be answered by Wonpil scoffing and saying

"You always look bad."

The door swings open, and Jae is greeted with Sungjin, whose light brown hair is styled upwards. He looks really nice, Jae admits, in a denim button up, with 3 quarter sleeves, a white shirt underneath paired with some black jeans.

"Oh damn," Jae comments jokingly,

"Shut up" Sungjin replies with a laugh, opening the door wider, motioning for Jae to come in, Jae laughs a bit too before giving a little bow, and hesitantly walking in.

"You're welcome" Jae says in his ear as he walks past Sungjin, and Sungjin doesn't get to ask what Jae means before Wonpil walks in behind Jae.

"O-Oh" Sungjin says upon seeing Wonpil, and he wants to smack himself in the face for sounding so stupid.

"You came?" he asks, and Wonpil gives him a friendly smile before saying,

"Yeah, Jae dragged me here."

"Well, I hope it's not too bad of a night" Sungjin says with a smile, and Wonpil finds some comfort in it, and doesn't know why he finds himself saying,

"Yeah... I don't think it will be."

Jae's making the way through Brian's apartment, smiling at people who are staring at him and refusing the urge to run right out the door because he never realized how awkward peoples' gazes could make him. He's usually really social, as proven, but he finds himself feeling a little nervous to be here.

He's walking around, and eventually finds who he's looking for.

The birthday celebrant is wearing black dress pants, and a black dress shirt that's tucked into his waist, and his sleeves are rolled up. The shirt's collar is white, and so are the cuffs on his sleeves, making him look probably a lot more formal than he intended to. His platinum silver hair is styled upwards, like is usually is but it looks a lot neater tonight.

Brian looks good; and it's kind of driving Jae insane because when Younghyun looked this good, it was almost habit to tell him, and wrap his arms around his waist.

Jae shakes his head, trying to get Younghyun out as he approaches Brian, he's talking to someone, so Jae just waits at the side

"Oh!" Brian says once he finally sees him, giving him a wide smile, and Jae smiles back

"You came?"

"Of course. Birthday boy asked me to" Jae replies, and goes to shake Brian's hand, but the celebrant's arms are spread for a hug, but Jae doesn't know if he's ready to hug him, which results in an insanely awkward hug with their chuckles accompanying it.

"Oh, let me introduce you to my friend, this is Dowoon"

And Jae thinks the name sounds familiar, as he shakes the boy's hand.

"Hey, uh, do I know you? Your name sounds familiar"

And Dowoon furrows his eyebrows in thought before he says,

"Ah, Junhyeok, maybe?"

"Right! Junhyeok. Oh man, it's been a while since I've seen you guys" Jae says, and he appreciates knowing someone here other than Brian and Wonpil.

"Yeah, I guess we're all a little busy" Dowoon replies with a smile,

"It's cool to see you here though," Jae says,

"Small world."

And Dowoon nods in agreement, and Brian tells Dowoon he'll be a minute, and he'll just show Jae around a bit.

"Minri isn't here?" Jae asks as they're walking out of the kitchen and through the living room,

"Nope. She figured she'd just let me have some guys over. She's sleeping over at her friend's place. There aren't that many to meet, so I hope you get comfortable soon" Brian says,

"That's nice of her. Trusting, too"

"What, do I look like a player to you?" Brian jokes and Jae raises his hand in innocence,

"I mean, who knows what can happen when alcohol takes over."

And Jae's glad Brian doesn't realize he's referencing to that one night him and Younghyun were drinking, some things were said, and emotions took over and things got a little out of control but neither of them wanted to turn back or stop.

"So! You just met Dowoon, you know Sungjin-" and Brian stops when him and Jae pass by Sungjin and Wonpil.

They're sitting on the couch, Wonpil has a beer in his hand and Sungjin's is on the ground by his feet. He's telling a story very enthusiastically, his hands all over the place, gesturing and explaining. Wonpil's eyes are staring into his, and he's laughing, and Jae is slightly amazed,

"That is the least pissed I've seen Wonpil look."

Brian looks at the duo who are having quite a conversation before scoffing and asking,

"Really?"

"Yeah, really! He never laughs like that at my stories.."

"That's 'cause you're not funny" Brian says bluntly, and Jae squints his eyes, and ignores Brian's annoying laugh as they continue to walk.

Brian introduces Jae to his friends, and Jae doesn't allow himself to feel special.

Upon meeting everyone, Jae concludes that Brian's friend Jackson doesn't need alcohol to be loud and rambunctious. However, he feels like he and Jackson would make good friends, and decides that he'll probably talk to him later on in the night.

The author also gets some character personalities from most of them, comparing Mark to the quiet one who's extremely attractive but his setback is he doesn't really talk. He thinks Jinyoung's joking and sassy character is one that would be the one to make the heroin broaden their horizons in a novel. 

His author thoughts are cut off when Brian offers,

"Do you want a beer?" 

Wonpil's warning words echo in Jae's head, and he figures one beer won't hurt

"Yeah, thanks."

Jae accepts one from Brian, and they end up going out into the balcony. 

"Shouldn't you be out entertaining your guests?"

"Nah, they're fine. They all know each other really well."

"Wow, making me feel like an outcast" Jae jokes and says, and Brian just laughs. 

It's a nice night. Jae doesn't know if it's the night breeze that makes him feel so happy, or the fact that Brian's by his side. They're watching the cityline below start to light up, as darkness envelops their small city. 

"You know you can leave me alone" Jae says, and Brian says

"The only 2 people you know in that apartment are talking to each other."

And Jae looks back to see Wonpil and Sungjin still in deep conversation. And he sighs before saying,

"You're right. And I feel like if I tried talking to Wonpil right now he'd hate me,"

"Probably already does." Brian says and they both laugh.

"When did we get close enough for you to be so mean to me?" Jae asks, hand over his heart as if he's offended, and Brian laughs before replying,

"I don't know. I feel like we've been friends for years when I talk to you, you feel me?"

And Jae does understand that, way too much. Because they were friends for years; well, Jae and Younghyun, not Brian. But hearing him say that gives Jae some hope.

"Your friends all look nice," Jae says in an attempt to make some small talk, although them just standing in silence isn't awkward at all.

"Yeah, they're pretty great." Brian replies, and continues

"They understand." 

Jae tilts his head a bit, and looks at Brian who takes that as a signal to further explain,

"They understand that I can completely forget them tomorrow and yet they still associate themselves with me." he says with a sad smile.

"Yeah, because you're great." Jae says, and Brian just laughs,

"No, seriously. You're a good person. And it must be so much scarier for you, becoming close and attached to people even if you may forget them." they share some eye-contact as Jae gives him a smile with some underlying emotion that Brian can't decipher.

"Happy Birthday, Brian" 

"Tha-"

"What're you guys doing out here?~" Jackson's loud voice interrupts their conversation,

"C'mon Jake, the party's in here!"

"It's Jae,"

"Yeah, whatever, c'mon Jae!"

Jackson says and Brian stiffles his laughter when Jae looks at him with a slightly scared yet amused expression as Jackson swings an arm around his neck and drags him back into Brian's apartment.

Jae ends up spending the next hour with Jackson, and they click almost immediately. They're both really social and open, so there's no awkward small talk transition stage, and it's really comfortable talking to him. Brian is socializing with his guests now, but he glances back every now and then, smiling at Jae and Jackson's loud conversation that doesn't really make sense.

"Hey," Jaebum catches Brian's attention,

" 'Sup?"

"Didn't know you were friends with a famous author" he teases, and Brian chuckles a bit,

"Have you talked to him yet?"

"Not yet, but he seems pretty cool" Jaebum replies as he looks at the tall author and Jackson laughing obnoxiously loud, and he smiles himself.

"When'd you meet him?" 

"Like, almost a month ago?"

"Wow." 

"What?" Brian asks, 

"That wasn't that long ago." Jaebum replies, and continues

"I mean, I'm just saying. It took me like a year to be invited to one of your birthdays" and they both laugh.

"I don't know, it just felt right to invite him,"

"Glad you did. Now I don't have to deal with Jackson," he jokes and once again, the 2 boys laugh,

Jae's previous thought earlier that night was correct - one beer didn't hurt.

However, 5 or 6 does some damage, specifically to Jae's judgement and state of mind.

It's almost 1 in the morning, and most of Brian's guests are gone. Jae assumes the only reason he's still here is because Wonpil is still talking to Sungjin, who obviously would be the last one to leave. 

Wonpil's sober, only having one beer and then sitting at Sungjin's side for the rest of the night without having another sip. 

Jae, on the other hand, is completely intoxicated. 

Brian is waving goodbye at the front door to Mark who's dragging Jackson to leave.

It doesn't take too long for Brian to join Jae who's sitting by himself in the den. 

"Hey Birthday boy~" Jae almost sings and Brian holds back the laughter

"How many beers did you drink?" he asks, as he settles beside Jae

"Not that many, maybe like 5?" Jae answers as he holds up 4 fingers to Brian, and he laughs this time

"That's 4, Jae." 

It was pretty amusing, seeing Jae so drunk. The two had never drank together before considering they just became friends recently, and Brian wonders if he's like this all the time. Brian wants to ask Wonpil if he wants to take Jae home yet, but something about the atmosphere between him and Sungjin is something Brian doesn't want to interrupt.

The two are sitting in silence, Jae mumbling some incoherent words that Brian doesn't even bother to decipher. 

"Bri," Sungjin's voice causes the boy in question to look up,

"Wonpil and I are gonna start cleaning up," he says,

"Oh, no you don't have to, I'll do it" and before Brian has a chance to get up, Jae's head falls on to his shoulder.

Sungjin smiles before saying,

"It's okay, we'll do it and then we'll get going." 

" _We_?" Brian teases

"Separately. We will part ways, and go to our individual homes." Sungjin replies, unamused and just rolls his eyes as Brian laughs,

"Thanks, appreciate it" he says, and watches Wonpil follow Sungjin into the kitchen. 

Brian's sitting still, Jae's head resting comfortably on his shoulder. 

"You know what, Brian?" Jae says, his speech almost slurred due to the alcohol

"What, Jae?" Brian muses,

"That tattoo of yours. I like it, a lot." 

"My tattoo?" Brian says, curious as to how Jae knows about it,

"Yeah. The dandelion," he says fondly

"Thank you" the birthday celebrant says,

"You know, I have a similar one. Actually, you wouldn't know, you're Brian" Jae says, laughing to himself and Brian just thinks Jae's spouting nonsense.

"Your parents."

"What about them?"

"Did they say anything after I met them at the cafe?" 

Brian's mind flashes back to the tense atmosphere he felt between Jae and his dad, and once again his curiosity is sparked

"Like, about your books?" Brian indirectly avoids the question,

"No. About me, as a person. Me as Park Jaehyung who is their son's friend" 

"No, they didn't say anything. Why, what would they say about you?" Brian asks, and Jae laughs,

"Figures. Why would they want you to know..." and if Jae wasn't leaning on Brian's shoulder, maybe he wouldn't have heard the second part.

"Do they know you?" 

"As much as I knew you." Jae responds, and Brian wants to respond with 'that's not that well' but something about Jae using past tense makes him anxious. Brian just shakes his head slightly, reasoning with himself that Jae's intoxicated and doesn't know what he's saying. 

"Brian." Jae says, 

"Yeah?"

And it's quiet for a bit before Jae says,

"I hope you get your memories back." and Brian hears the sadness in Jae's voice that's usually so cheerful. 

"And why's that?" he asks.

Jae lifts his head from Brian's shoulder and Brian turns his head to look at him. At this distance, or lack thereof, Brian takes in the details of the author's face.

"So that you can remember me." is the response he gets, but doesn't expect.

Brian doesn't know why, but he doesn't look away when they start staring into each other's eyes. And like always, they make him feel safe and comfortable. However, Jae's eyes look sad; tired. And his previous words are nagging at Brian, and he's trying to convince himself that Jae's drunk words don't mean anything.

His mind is preoccupied in trying to comfort himself, and his curiosity that he doesn't really notice Jae's face moving closer.

And even when he does notice, he finds himself not moving. Even when Jae places his lips on his.

The author's lips taste like alcohol; which Brian tells himself is reason he just kissed him.

But, his lips feel familiar. It's nerve wracking, and it's a weird feeling that Brian has never had, but he doesn't push Jae away. Because it feels like his liips should be there; it feels natural. And it's kind of scary because for a split second, he forgets he has a girlfriend.

Jae pulls away, and the kiss feels like it lasts numerous hours, but Brian's sure it was only a few seconds.

"Younghyun..." is all Jae whispers before passing out, and his head returns to laying limp on Brian's shoulder.

And the birthday boy is left in silence, his mind in disarray. It takes about 3 tries for Sungjin to finally get his attention,

"Bri!" 

"Huh?" he finally looks up,

"We're gonna get going," Sungjin says and looks at Jae,

"Is he passed out?"

"Who? Oh," Brian clearly isn't fully there, but Sungjin just disregards it,

"Yeah, I guess so."

"Ah, sorry" Wonpil says, annoyed 

"I told him not to get too drunk." and he reaches down to help Jae up,

"Okay, get up, we gotta go"

And Jae replies in mumbles, 

"God, why are you so heavy?!" Wonpil asks after trying to help him up,

"I-I got him" Brian says and places Jae's arm around his neck and lifts him up,

"No, it's okay- Jae, get up, seriously" Wonpil scolds,

"It's fine" Brian assures, and starts walking, most of Jae's body weight being supported by Brian.

"Do you want me to drive you guys home?" Sungjin offers, 

"It's okay, we'll be fine." Wonpil answers.

All 4 of them end up walking to Jae's car. The elevator ride down to the lobby is quiet, mainly Wonpil scolding the intoxicated Jae who probably won't remember anything tomorrow.

"Sorry about him," Wonpil says once Brian places Jae in the passenger seat of the car,

"Don't worry about it." 

"I'll talk to you later?" Wonpil says, and Brian almost awkwardly asks 'how', until he realizes he's directing his words at Sungjin.

"Yeah, sure thing."

Sungjin and Brian wave goodbye as Wonpil does the same, and drives out of the apartment complex. 

Brian gives Sungjin a brief hug, not before teasing about Wonpil, and then they part ways. The birthday celebrant goes back up to his apartment, and looks around. Sungjin and Wonpil had done a good job cleaning, as expected of his best friend. 

He quickly washes up, and goes to the bedroom. He just wants to sleep, forget about what had happened between him and Jae, because it was just the side effects of some alcohol. But then his phone goes off,

**Minri♡: hey babe♡ are the boys still there?**

Brian habitually smiles at the next from his girlfriend, and types a reply

**Brian: hey♡ nope, they left. shouldn't you be sleeping?**

**Minri♡: about to head to bed right now. just wanted to text you. good night, love you♡**

And Brian ignores the guilty feeling as he types,

**Brian: good night! love you too♡**

The drive back to Wonpil's place is long, and it gives Jae time to sober up. He's awake now, staring out the windshield, 

"Wonpil." Jae says,

"I don't wanna hear it, Jae." 

"No, seriously. I think I fucked up."

"Huh? What do you mean, what'd you do? Did you leave something at Brian's?" Wonpil asks. They're almost at Wonpil's place, and he's not really in the mood to turn around and drive all the way back to Brian's. Jae doesn't look away from the road as he tells him,

"I think I kissed him." 

It's quiet for a moment before Wonpil basically yells,

"You _what_?! You _think_ you kissed him?!" 

"I don't know, maybe I'm just thinking I did! I was too drunk! I'm still drunk!" 

"I told you not to drink too much! Damn it, Jae!" Wonpil says,

"Why're you getting so upset?" Jae raises his voice,

"Oh, I'm sorry, maybe you're too intoxicated to remember, but _Younghyun_ is the one you could kiss. _Brian_ , the one you think you may have kissed, has a _girlfriend_ , Jae! A _girlfriend_!"

It's quiet in the car before Jae processes everything, and simply curses,

"Fuck." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please comment any thoughts, I love reading comments and reply to every one!


	6. Pretend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> twitter: @zenkrcovers | kakao: zenaya  
> feel free to message me on either! I'm friendly, I swear :D

Everybody makes mistakes. 

It's just a fact, because no one is perfect. And of course, everyone makes bad decisions often resulting in regret and sometimes wanting a do-over. And there's no better way to describe the way Jae is feeling other than regretful and wanting to do things over.

He regrets not listening to Wonpil, and thinking having a drinking competition with Jackson wasn't a bad idea. It was a race to see who could finish a bottle of beer faster, but resulted in 4 rounds of it being tied.

He wants to redo that moment he stupidly placed his lips on Brian's, but he doesn't know for sure if the alcohol would let things lead to another outcome.

Although feeling this way, Jae refuses to let it show. Reason being, Brian hasn't brought it up, and the author has been talking to him at the counter for a good 15 minutes, now. But then again, how are you supposed to bring up kissing someone, especially when it's not your significant other?

"Were we that loud?" 

"Yes! I got complaints this weekend,"

"Okay, but how do you know that was Jackson and I?"

"Hmm," Brian hums in fake thought before answering,

"I think it was the way my neighbour described the noise as, '2 loud, obnoxious boys who are probably piss drunk, and couldn't control their volume',"

And Jae just hits Brian in the shoulder, and he tries not to be obvious when he panics, realizing he just touched him.

Brian is, at the moment, off-limits to Jae.

For Jae, Brian is the personification of a taboo.

"Did you have a good time, though?" Jae acts as if nothing happened between them. As if the last thing he remembers before blacking out is sitting alone in the den, and coming to once he was in his car, Wonpil on his left, driving. 

His eyes catch the way Brian subtlety bites his lip, and then gives Jae a smile,

"Yeah, I did."

"Did you have fun cleaning up the mess?" Jae pretends like he didn't purposely lean his head on the celebrant's shoulder when he offered to clean up. 

"Wonpil and Sungjin cleaned it up."

"Ah, how nice. Wonpil usually isn't into cleaning anything that isn't his." Jae replies,

"Probably did it because Sungjin was there," he adds and Brian laughs in reply.

"Dude, I swear they're gonna end up together." Brian says, and he looks at Jae with amusing eyes,

"Do you wanna bet?" 

"What? No! I called it first!" Jae retaliates,

"Nu-uh," Brian denies like he's an 11-year old child,

"I called it when Wonpil walked in to find you!" 

"Nope, doesn't count."

"What the-"

"Because you didn't know how Wonpil felt. Since I called it after teasing him about Sungjin, I called it first"

"How is that fair?" 

"Life isn't fair, young Padawan" Jae replies, and Brian sees just a glimpse of Jae's cute, slightly nerdy, triumphant smile as he takes an exaggerated sip of his Americano.

"You're so annoying,"

"You don't mean that~"

"And what makes you so sure?" Brian says, raising his eyebrows as he wipes the mug,

"C'mon, you love me,' Jae replies with a cute wink, and Brian pretends to be disgusted rather than slighty swoon.

Brian's currently pretending like he's not being eaten away by the guilt of kissing someone other than Minri. Arguably, it wasn't an intense make-out session, just a simple peck, and some may not even consider it a kiss.

But to Brian who doesn't know if Minri was actually his first kiss or not, a drunken 'peck' isn't so simple.

If Brian was being honest with himself, though, he would admit that the part making his emotions turn chaotic wasn't so much the physical kiss.

It was the way it felt right; felt natural. It was the unnerving feeling of déjà vu he got when Jae placed his lips on his. And Brian didn't know the feeling of already experiencing something, with his condition, could be so comforting and unsettling at the same time.

They've been talking as if nothing happened, and Brian concludes that iit's best if they continue on like this. Because for all he knows, Jae was too drunk to remember doing anything.

But there's an incredibly ridiculous question Brian wants to ask. The thought of actually vocalizing this question to Jae is crazy, even to Brian himself. And that bizarre question is:

Have we kissed before? 

And Brian shakes his head as he pictures Jae's various reactions, ranging from hysterical laughter, slight disgust, and extreme confusion. 

"So, Bri?" he's pulled out of his thoughts again,

"Hm?"

And Jae scoffs, 

"You weren't listening, were you?" 

"Nope," he admits, and the 2 laugh.

"He never does," Sungjin says as he goes to Brian's side, just returning from delivering an order to a table. 

"It took me like 3 times to get his attention at the party, when I was trying to say bye," 

And Brian freezes momentarily when he thinks about the reason he didn't respond to his best friend's voice. Jae just laughs, as if he didn't know he was the reason Brian didn't answer right away that night.

"Anyway, I was asking when's the next time we'd be able to hang like that again?"

"You like my friends?" Brian asks,

"Pretty sure I like Jackson more than I like you," 

"You don't mean that," Brian mocks, and continues on to quote Jae,

"You love me" 

And Jae refuses to give him a sad smile, because he knows he's probably subconsciously given them multiple times. Instead he pretends like what Brian just said isn't true, and fake gags.

But it's true. Jae does love him, or, more accurately, Younghyun. They're not the same person, and Jae knows that. But it's hard.

It's hard to control himself sometimes, and he has to remind himself that Brian's not Younghyun. Especially when they're joking around like this, talking to each other so comfortably that the line between past and present gets blurred by hope and anticipation.

"How's this Friday sound?" 

"That's sooner than I expected"

"Sungjin probably wants to see Wonpil again,"

"Can you guys stop dragging me into your conversations? I'm an individual." Sungjin says and almost has a smug look on his face when he adds,

"Plus I don't need you guys to see Wonpil." 

Jae and Brian look at each other, both of their eyebrows raised in both surprise and amusement,

"Ooo~ Look at my best friend, gettin' it~" and Jae almost laughs at how weird Brian just sounded, but just says

"Oh my God, I _have_ to tease Wonpil about this." 

"I have said that I hated you guys, right?" Sungjin asks for a refresh of memory and the 3 just laugh. 

"Okay, so Friday, whose place?" Jae asks, and gets an answer from Brian,

"Mine, probably." 

"Don't forget to bring Wonpil," Brian says to Jae, and Jae looks at Sungjin as he replies,

"Nah... Sungjin's probably gonna bring him."

Sungjin rolls his eyes before walking away to serve another customer, mumbling something about Jae and Brian not being funny, just simply annoying, under his breath.

"Aw man, soon enough we're not even going to be able to tease him." Brian says, almost fondly.

They share a couple of moments of silence before laughing to themselves, as Jae says what they're both thinking,

"Nah, it'll still be funny if they do hook up."

"So, are you really willing to have another hang-out?" Jae asks,

"You make it sound weird for friends to hang out with each other."

"I wasn't really the type to have a lot of friends."

"Lies," 

"No, seriously" Jae says, and Brian's listening when he adds,

"I mean, yeah, I like talking to people, but there are only like a select few that I could trust, and really consider friends. I mean, in all honestly, I only have Junhyeok, Wonpil," he pauses before smiling and saying,

"And I had Younghyun."

There's that name again.

The name Jae whispered after kissing Brian, and the name that immediately came out of Jae's lips, his tone of voice surprised, when he saw Brian. It seems like it's always subconsciously involving Brian, but that name... Whenever it escapes Jae's lips, the name sounds so _sad_. The name Younghyun, when Jae says it, is filled with sadness but his eyes look like they're filled with false hope. 

Brian's about to ask Jae if he misses Younghyun, when someone enters the cafe

"Oh! Hi Minri," Jae says first, and tries not to feel so guilty. 

"Hi Jae!" she says cheerfully, and Jae almost winces at the thought of how his name would sound so different if she found out about what he did. He doesn't necessarily know if she'll react negatively, maybe she's a free spirited girl who would laugh and not take offense that drunken Jae had stolen Brian's lips for a brief moment. But something tells Jae that it would hurt her.

"Hey you," Brian says fondly, and Jae ignores the jealous feeling deep in his heart because that's not his Younghyun.

"Hi~" Minri says from over the counter,

"Babe, your parents want us to visit today." 

Jae tenses up at the mention of Brian's parents. The same disapproval and slight hatred that filled their eyes when he met them for the first time in almost 4 years, the same emotions he started receiving once him and Younghyun got older; as their friendship was progressing into something more.

"Today?" Brian repeats, and Minri nods in response.

"Something about wanting to see us again. Your mom is so cute, she loves me" Minri asks.

Jae scoffs to himself,

_Yeah, so cute._

He thinks, and even the voice in his head is dripping with sarcasm.

_Because a completely unaccepting wretch who ignored the fact that her son was in love, just because the person he loved wasnt a girl-_

Jae's inner rant was cut off by the sudden reminder that he was in public, and that he should calm down.

_Is so freakin' cute._

He finishes off his thought, sighing as if he had just deprived himself of oxygen from saying those words. The author decides to go converse with Sungjin before he says something under his breath that either Brian or Minri catches, and completely ruins the light mood. Brian's eyes follow Jae's figure, but quickly remember who's in front of him, and his gaze returns to Minri.

"What time do you get off today?" 

"Early, around 6,"

"Oh, that's perfect! We'll just go to your parents for dinner, and then drive back home." 

"Okay sounds good. Hey, Min-ah, the guys want to hang out again this Friday. You can come home, we won't be long,"

"Really? Okay then, yeah, I'll just text Sooyeon to see if she's free." 

"Thanks, appreciate it," Brian says before giving her an endearing smile,

"Can I get you anything?" he asks, and Minri smiles.

"Well, since you asked, I'll have one Chai Latte, please" she replies.

Chai Latte. A warm drink, sweet, and not purely caffeine based. Almost opposite to an Iced Americano.

Brian's parents house is familiar, and welcoming as always; well, to Brian and Minri, atleast.

Minri's helping Mrs. Kang out in the kitchen, as they're waiting for Brian's dad to arrive from work.

"Brian, honey~" Mrs. Kang calls, and he pokes his head in the kitchen,

"Yes?"

"Can you get me my notebook, I forgot the measurements for this recipe." she says, and Brian smiles before saying,

"Sure,"

"It's in my office, in my drawer," she informs, and Brian is off.

Brian goes into his mom's office, and walks to her desk. It's neat, only a few picture frames on top of the mahogany wood. The boy walks behind it, and opens 2 drawers, neither of them containing the notebook. However, something in one of them catches his eye. It's a simple sheet of paper; but what catches his eye is the 2 little footprints located on the side of the page.

He tilts his head in curiosity before deciding to pick up the sheet of paper. 

It's as if the whole world had crashed down on him; the life he's known and is comfortable with is crumbling around him. 

The sheet of paper, in bold fancy font says; Birth Certificate, on the top. And written underneath the "This is to certify that", is a name he's familiar with.

"This is to certify that Kang Younghyun 

Weighing 6 lbs. 2 oz. was born on the day of...."

Brian doesn't bother reading the rest out loud, because his eyes have already registered that his birthday is written on there. 

So many thoughts are running through his head and he doesn't know what to believe anymore. It's like a cliche scene from a drama; or a novel, and so Brian doesn't really know what he's doing when he folds it up, and places it in the back pocket of his jeans. 

"Honey!" Brian panics slightly before yelling back,

"Yeah?"

"Did you find it?" Mrs. Kang yells back, and Brian's frantically searching the drawers that he didn't check, and finds the black familiar notebook in perfect time,

"Yep!" he responds, and quickly returns back into the kitchen.

He smiles, pretending like he didn't just find something that supports his doubt of his entire life he's been told he lived. He goes to Minri's side, and she habitually wraps and arm around his side. 

Brian's mind is preoccupied with Jae's words, experiences; his existence. And he almost doesn't hear Minri say,

"Hey, babe, you okay?" 

"Just fine," he pretends, and kisses her forehead, and the front door opens and the Kang house is filled with greetings to Mr. Kang, and him encouraging them to start eating dinner.

Brian's looking at his parents, trying not to let his emotion show on his face, but he's questioning everything. Wondering what else they've lied to him about-

No. 

He doesn't let himself jump to conclusions, despite the piece of paper he found.

_No, you don't know that. You don't know that they lied to you_ , he thinks, referring to his parents. 

Sometimes it's good to pretend like you don't know things; it's like a sense of comfort. 

Friday comes a lot faster than Brian realizes, or is prepared for. The night is a lot more comfortable than his birthday get-together. Jae's talking comfortably with Jackson and Mark. Sungjin and Wonpil are having their own conversation out on the balcony, and Brian's distracting himself with preparing some bowls of snacks to set out in the living room.

The night goes by smoothly; but once again, Jae's the only one left, hanging around for Wonpil who's immersed in Sungjin's seemingly exciting story.

They're not in the den this time, they're out on the balcony, Sungjin and Wonpil have moved inside, conversing in the den.

Both Brian and Jae are quiet, and Brian's staring at Jae whose eyes are bright. He's looking up at the sky, lit up naturally by small specks rather than down at the concrete jungle below them. 

"Hey Jae," 

"Hm?" 

"Can I ask you something?"

Jae wonders if he's about to bring up the kiss, but decides if he does, he'll just pretend like he doesn't know what he's talking about.

"Yeah, sure." 

It's quiet for a few moments before Brian finally asks,

"Do you miss him?" Jae thinks for a bit, wondering who Brian's referring to,

"Who?"

"Younghyun." he answers.

Jae wants to ask Brian why he's suddenly bringing up Younghyun, or why he even wants to know. But the look in Brian's eyes is one similar to defeat, like denial and acceptance being experienced at the same time.

"Yeah." Jae replies,

"Yeah, I do. I miss him."

"Is it hard being friends with me because I look like him?" Brian asks.

_It's not that you look like him. It's hard because you technically are him, but you just don't remember._ Jae wants to say,

"In all honesty, it kinda is. Because it's like he's right here, but he's not. It's like I could reach out and touch him, but I can't. It's hard in the sense that, if someone else saw us, like Wonpil before he knew you, it would seem like I was standing on the balcony with Younghyun, but you're Brian." 

Brian's looking at Jae, who isn't looking at him. His eyes are still locked on the stars, the moon, as if he's searching for something within the dark purple, blue, and black hues that act as a background for distant stars and nebulas. 

"What was he like?"

"Didn't you already ask me this before?"

"Yeah, but, I feel like now that we're a little closer, maybe you can go more in depth." Brian explains himself. The author thinks a while, and begins explaining.

"He liked the colour blue, and enjoyed chocolate cake. He wanted to learn all types of instruments, but ended up failing at every attempt. Younghyun liked to sleep on the left side of the bed, his left, he always specified. He was actually pretty good at drawing, and his drawings are where I got most of my inspiration for stories from. In fact, he designed the tattoo I have, and he got one too..." and Brian thinks he can feel the dandelion on his nape burning,

Jae continues on to enlighten Brian on Younghyun, and Brian doesn't miss the fond, longing smile Jae's showing when he does so.

"You guys weren't dating?" Brian says, cautiously. Jae thinks about how to word it,

"I don't really know how to explain this, but, the simple answer is no, Younghyun and I were not dating. But we definitely weren't just best friends, either. There was always this underlying emotion that both of us felt, that never got to escalate to dating. I mean, we did things that couples do. Bashfully and all flustered, as if we were children trying to confess to each other."

Brian thinks this is the most he's heard Jae talk. The intoxicated fountain of words that came out of Jae on the night of the party can't even begin to compare the words he's saying now. These words, tonight, have emotion. They have thought laced within them, and the way they flow makes Brian feel like he's experienced it before.

"So, no. We weren't dating. There was no classic 'will you be mine' type of confession. He disappeared before I got the chance."

"Do you think he'll come back?" the platinum haired boy asks,

"I hope he does. And I hope he'll remember me." Jae says to Younghyun, both directly and indirectly at the same time.

"I hope he does, too. Maybe then you'll get the chance to ask him," Brian says.

"Yeah... That'd be nice." Jae says, still staring out at the stars.

"But for now, I'll pretend" 

And the tall author sees Brian's head tilt in slight confusion, and so he decides to clarify, the irony of his words almost killing him

"I'll pretend like he's right beside me."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please comment any thoughts you have :) thank you for reading


	7. Everything

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> twitter: @zenkrcovers | kakao: zenaya  
> feel free to message me on either of these! I'm friendly and really open to conversation :D

It's weird.

Brian knows Jae's not drunk, not this time.

He hasn't had anything to drink since he got here except some water and soda; no alcohol is in the author's system, as far as Brian's aware of.

So, with Jae not being completely piss drunk and his state of mind not being compromised by alcohol, Brian's wondering why they're in the same position as last time.

If Jae's not drunk, why are his lips on Brian's?

This time, Jae's lips don't taste like beer, and Brian doesn't know why he's not pulling away.

He's unsure of why he doesn't hate it.

The kiss was quick; it didn't feel like hours this time. In fact, it was over as quickly as it began, which left Brian wondering if he just imagined it.

"Sorry- oh my God, I just- I don't know what got into me, I'm really sorry" 

Jae's profuse apologizing tells Brian it wasn't his imagination,

"U-Uh, it's okay"

"No, it's not okay, you have a girlfriend, I'm really sorry- I..." 

Jae sighs and just stares at Brian who doesn't know what to do at the moment

"I-I better go." Jae says and Brian's mind is in such disarray that he doesn't object, even when Jae exits the balcony and practically bee-lines for the front door, and leaves, ignoring Wonpil's calls.

Sungjin and Wonpil turn to look at Brian, who's left alone on the balcony, staring at nothing in particular; his lips burning with that unsettling feeling of familiarity.

"Brian, what happened?" Sungjin asks what him and Wonpil are both thinking. Brian doesn't respond, just like last time,

"Brian!" Sungjin says a little louder and this time Brian looks at them. The look on Brian's face causes Sungjin to change his question,

"You okay, Bri?"

"Huh? Y-Yeah, I'm fine."

"You sure? You look like you just saw a ghost or something" and Wonpil laughs,

"What?" Sungjin asks

"You sound like such a dad"

Sungjin kisses his teeth at Wonpil who's giggling quietly.

"Hey, did uh, did you and Jae get in like a fight?" 

Brian looks at his bestfriend,

"No, no,we didn't fight" Brian answers,

"I guess he just wasn't feeling well."

Sungjin nods and things get awkwardly quiet. 

"Oh man," Wonpil says quietly, but it's loud enough to break the awkward silence

"What's wrong?" Sungjin asks,

"Jae just took the car. That was my ride home." Wonpil answers before getting up from the couch,

"Maybe if I run, I can catch up to him-"

"No it's okay, I can drop you off."

Brian doesn't even tease Sungjin about that offer because he's too distrated.

After about 20 minutes, Sungjin and Wonpil leave, thanking Brian for tonight, and Brian thinks he said no problem.

Brian doesn't bother looking to see if the apartment is clean and simply goes to shower, and is about to settle in bed, when he hears the front door unlock.

"Babe?"

Minri's voice resounds through the apartment, and Brian didn't know he could feel this way; feel like the last person he wants to see right now is his girlfriend. Brian groans as he gets out of bed, and goes to greet her,

"Hey," he says quietly and hugs her. Minri smiles and she looks up,

"Hey, you okay?"

And Brian laughs a bit,

"Just fine. Why?"

"Lately you've been looking a bit out of it."

"Just tired, that's all," Brian replies, and Minri says,

"You sure? You look like you have a lot on your mind."

"Nope, I don't." he says.

And he's not lying.

Because it's not multiple worries and concerns that are causing Brian not to think straight.

It's just one thing.

One person whose existence is distracting; whose presence in Brian's life has seemed to turn it chaotic.

"Okay, talk to me whenever" Minri says before smiling, and she tiptoes to give Brian a kiss. Brian's a bit hesitant, but he does it anyway.

"I'm gonna shower,"

"Okay, I'm gonna go to bed now, I'm tired."

"Alright, good night, babe" Minri says, and Brian replies with just,

"Good night."

Brian watches her as she undoes her bun, her dark brown locks falling to her face, as he''s standing in the doorway of their room.

"I love you" he says.

But it's not that sincere and endearing.

It's more of him reconfirming something, telling himself that he loves Minri. It's like he's saying it out loud to tell himself that despite all these things that are happening, things he's finding out, that he still loves her.

Minri smiles and Brian almost feels apologetic,

"I love you, Bri. Now go to bed, you look exhausted"

Brian smiles back and goes to bed, but doesn't fall asleep until Minri's soft, steady breathing is the only thing he hears in the pitch black of their room.

"Hey, Mom" 

Brian says through the phone,

"Oh, honey, hi!"

"Hi, how are you?"

"I'm good, how're you?"

"I'm okay" Brian replies,

"What's up, why're you calling?"

"Mom, I was wondering if you were busy today?"

"Nope, why?"

"Can I stop by later?"

"Oh sure, with Minri?" Mrs. Kang asks, and Brian can hear the anticipation in her voice

"No, just your son, sorry" he replies with a laugh,

"Okay, yeah, swing by! I'll prepare some coffee or snacks"

"Will do, see you soon"

"Bye sweetie"

Brian hangs up the phone and sighs.

"You're going to your mom's today?" Minri asks.

They're in the kitchen, Minri is sitting at the island on the bar stools, a mug of warm tea in her hands, while Brian is standing at the stove, waiting for the pancake to turn golden brown so he can flip it.

"Yeah, just gotta ask her something."

"Want me to come?"

Brian thinks about what he's going to ask his mom, and replies,

"No, it's okay. Just gotta talk about something" 

"Okay," Minri says and smiles as Brian places a stack of pancakes in front of her, strawberries and blueberries colouring the plate with whipped cream on the side. She says a quick thank you, and it isn't long before Brian joins her at the island, and they both enjoy their breakfast

"So what did you want to talk about, sweetie?"

They're sitting in the Kang living room, Brian's dad out at work.

"Mom," Brian isn't sure how to casually bring this up, but he decides to ask a question,

"Did I have a brother?"

His mom laughs, almost nervously, before replying

"No, that's absurd"

"Did you and dad have any other children, before me? After me?" 

"What- no, Brian, what're you even talking about?"

"Then please explain this" Brian tries not to sound angry, but it's difficult.

He reaches inside the back pocket of his jeans and pulls out the paper he found before. Mrs. Kang just stares at it, her mouth open in slight shock and horror as she stutters. 

She looks up at Brian, who looks so broken. So hurt and betrayed, yet at the same time so angry and demanding.

"Who am I, Mom? Or can I even call you that-"

"Brian, please-"

"Who's Brian?! Who's Younghyun?!" Brian raises his voice and can't decipher if the tears rimming his eyes at out of frustration or sadness.

"Who am I? What else have you lied to me about? Am I really Brian Kang? Who's Younghyun? Why'd you lie all this time?"

"Brian, that's too many questions, I don't know which one you want me to answer-"

"Everything!" he yells, almost scaring his mother.

"I want you to tell me everything; the truth. I think I have a right to know." Brian ignores the years that escaped and is now rolling down his cheek.

"Who am I?" he repeats the question most prominent in his mind, more calmly this time.

Mrs. Kang exhales before replying,

"Maybe we should wait until your father gets home-" and Brian's words don't cut her off, it's his glare.

"I think I've waited long enough."

She clears her throat before saying,

"You're Brian Kang." and Brian almost rolls his eyes, but she continues,

"But when you were born, your father and I named you Younghyun."

Brian felt like someone had punched him right in the face.

Deep down in his gut, Brian probably saw this coming; instinctively knew that him and Younghyun were essentially the same person. But hearing his mom confirm it; confirm the life of lies he's been fed by the people that watched him grow, is something that's hard to swallow and easy to choke on.

"You were addressed as Younghyun until you were in your 20's, until we moved to Canada for a while. But, the move seemed to have triggered another loss in memory, and that's when we decided to call you Brian." 

_Around 4 years ago; the same time that Jae's Younghyun disappeared._

"Why did we move? Why did you change my name?" 

"We moved so that you could study. We changed your name so that you fit in a little easier."

Brian doesn't like the way this sounds like an interrogation, but he doesn't know how else he's supposed to ask. And then, he asks a question that causes his mom's eyes to go wide,

"How was Park Jaehyung involved with me?" 

It's quiet for a while, but Mrs. Kang finally answers,

"You guys went to the same school, and became very close."

"What was he to me?" 

"Your friend."

"That's not all I was to him, though."

"Brian, I don't think telling you of all this without your father-"

"What was Jae to me?" the boy repeats. 

He's never spoken to his mother with such a tone, but he can't change his voice to fit any other emotion except irritation and anger. Mrs. Kang replies with simply,

"Everything." 

Brian doesn't respond, so that prompts his mother to continue,

"To put it in simplest terms, Jae was truly your everything." 

The way his mom calls Jaehyung his nickname so easily and naturally is something that makes Brian sick but also sad, and so apologetic.

""The reason you got so good at singing, before, was because he used to write poems that you would wish to turn into lyrics. But before, you couldn't play instruments no matter how hard you tried."

Jae's explanation of Younghyun pops up in his mind, 

"He was your best friend. You guys knew each other inside and out. And at first, your dad and I were happy, because you found such a good friend, who made you happy but was there for you when you were sad. And he was such a good kid,"

I don't want to hear this, Brian wants to say, but he just bites his tongue.

"He would always bring treats whenever he came to our house, even more when he was sleeping over" his mom's voice sounds fond as she reminisces and Brian wonders, if he had his memories, if he would be able to reminisce like that. 

"But then you and him were starting to get a little..." she thinks of how to word it

"You guys were becoming something more than friends. And I don't mean best friends, it was like you guys were a couple" she almost sounds disgusted and Brian never felt so angry towards his mother.

"Your father and I clearly didn't approve, but I tried convincing him, that it was just a phase, that you both were kids just trying to figure yourselves out. But when you got tattoos, that's when your dad drew the line. We told you that you were going to finish your university education in Canada, and that there was nothing that could change that."

_Unbelievable._

Brian thinks.

_How could you guys? Why did I let you guys take me away?_

"And the sudden move to another country triggered another relapse." she says, 

"From then on, you were known as Brian Kang. Your father and I were hesitant coming back to Korea, worried that you would encounter Jae again, but we both decided that you had lost all your memories of him, and he's a reknown author, so the chances of you meeting again were slim. But then, you met-"

"Minri." Brian finishes her sentence,

"You and Dad must've been so glad..." he says, scoffing, and Mrs. Kang just listens,

"You guys must've been _thrilled_ to know I had fallen for a girl. Even when I lost my memories, you guys probably had a moment of relief when you realized that along with those memories, Jae was gone too..."

"Brian, this is all in the past-"

"That's why it's so sad. It's all in the past that _I_ don't remember." Brian's vision start to blur a bit and he didn't realize until this moment how emotional he was.

"Do you know how _sad_ Jae looks when he talks about Younghyun? About _me_? About the me I don't remember being?" 

"Brian..." she tries comforting, but that name isn't the best source of reassurance at the moment.

"He still remembers every single detail about me-"

"Younghyun isn't you, you're Brian"

"How could you say that.." he almost whispers,

"Protest and deny it all you want, but you know it yourself. You're not the person he remembers, you're not the same person that he loved, that loved him. Because you, Brian, are not Younghyun."

It's quiet; for a long time. His mom doesn't know what to say, having just spilled everything, and Brian doesn't know how to respond with the cruel truth of the situation.

His mom's right, he's not the same person Jae loves and remembers.

Brian doesn't like chocolate cake, but Younghyun loved it. Brian considers himself to be a freelance musician, who loves instruments while Younghyun was hopeless with them. 

But, the comforting feeling Brian gets around Jae is something Younghyun maybe felt too. The way Brian feels like the connecting of their lips is so natural, may be because of Younghyun.

Knowing that he is Younghyun, doesn't really help the situation. 

What can he even do with this information? With the knowledge that the Younghyun Jae longs for, is him, and is practically right under Jae's nose. 

"I have one more question" Brian speaks up, and looks at his mom,

"Why couldn't you love and accept what Jae and I were? Why didn't you just let us be?" 

And this time, there's no uniform response with a coorelating story, there's no retelling of Brian's past that only his mom, out of the two of them, remembers.

With no response, Brian takes the birth certificate back, shoving it back into his pocket. His movement is angry, rushed, just simply wanting to get out of there.

"Thanks for the coffee.. and answers" he says, with no real appreciation, and walks out of the family house.

He gets in his car, and just sits in the driver's seat, still parked in the driveway. His frustrated tears blur his vision again, and he just screams.

He doesn't know what else to do; it's not like he can pretend to be Younghyun, but he also can't continue being friends with Jae like this. 

After almost 15 minutes of just sitting in his car and thinking things over, he finally heads home. He drives slower than usual, not necessarily giving him time to think, considering he has to focus on the road, but more of giving himself time alone. 

When he finally reaches his apartment, he takes the stairs instead of the elevator, walking up the steps slowly, one by one. Brian unlocks and opens the door to their apartment, and says,

"Min-ah, I'm home," and then he wonders when the last time he called her 'babe' was.

Not hearing her voice respond, Brian walks to the kitchen island to set down the keys, and sees a little piece of paper, the corner of it underneath his phone. It's Minri's neat, familiar hand writing, that reads

' Hi babe! You forgot your phone, so I'll just leave you this little note. 

going out with the girls for a bit, will be back soon! Love you ^_^ ' 

Her writing is cute, Brian can almost visualize the i's being dotted with hearts. He smiles sadly to himself as he goes to put the keys down, but stays still for a moment. He doesn't drop the keys, but instead picks up his phone and is out the door, again. He sends Minri a quick text, informing her that he'll be with Sungjin for a while, but not too long. 

Brian's driving around, and parks on the street in front of the cafe. He doesn't go in though, because when he's about to, he sees Sungjin talking to Wonpil over the counter, and the smile on his best friend's face is so sincere, that he decides not to interrupt them. He goes back in his car, and drives around again. 

This time, he stops at a club; not one with loud music and people that are too close, and had too much to drink. But a live club, one he often visits to listen to performances. 

Music is something that he finds comfort in, and he decides that right now is a good time to watch a few live performers. He walks in, and a few regulars recognize him, and say a quick 'hi', which he replies with a smile and a 'hey,' in return. 

He makes his way to the dimly lit room, lights focused on the small stage, people sitting in lounge chairs, enjoying the current melody being played by the guitarist on stage. There are a lot of people today, so it takes him a while to find a seat. The chair is positioned so that it forms a small, short L with the chair that someone else is currently sitting in. It's dark, so Brian doesn't really process who he's talking to when he says,

"Can I sit here?"

But recognizes the voice that answers,

"Uh, yeah, if you want." 

As if things couldn't get more awkward and uncomfortable for Jae, after stupidly kissing Brian for the second time, they're sitting practically beside each other. 

"Never thought I would see you here," Brian says.

It's back to the awkward small talk, like when they first started encountering each other.

"Wanted to relax a bit, listen to some music" Jae replies, but because of the song resounding throughout the room, Brian doesn't really hear him. 

"Pardon?" he says, and leans in, but so does Jae, to repeat what he said.

They both halt, Jae thankful they leaned in with their heads going in opposite directions, and he tries not to sound like his heart is caught in his throat when he repeats himself.

"Ah," Brian says, leaning back in his chair, nodding. 

Jae looks at him, inspecting his face. Brian doesn't look happy or peaceful like he usually does. Right now, he looks distressed, like the reason he's here is to take his mind off of things. Brian's eyes are on the performer, but his mind is definitely somewhere else, so easy to read, like Younghyun, Jae thinks. 

"Hey," Jae decides to speak up, and Brian turns to look at him, his eyebrows raised,

"What's wrong?" 

And this time, Brian doesn't feign happiness or content. He doesn't immediately brush it off, smile, and say 'nothing' like he does with Minri. He doesn't know why Jae asking the same question would get a different response, than if Minri or even Sungjin would ask. Maybe it's the author's eyes, or the apologetic feeling Brian experiences. Whatever it is, causes Brian to say the truth.

He looks at Jae, who's looking at him, and scoffs as he honestly replies,

"Everything."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please comment any thoughts, I love reading them! thank you for reading.


	8. Nice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> twitter: @zenkrcovers | kakao: zenaya  
> feel free to message me on either! I'm really friendly and open to any conversation! :D

"Do you want to talk about it?" Jae asks, and Brian just smiles.

"Not really," he says, honestly,

"But just being able to admit that something's wrong feels pretty good."

Jae gives him an understanding nod before saying,

"You shouldn't do that, though." and Brian looks at him,

"You know, keep it all bottled up inside you. Release it somehow, I'm not saying to tell me everything right now, I'm just saying, you don't have to face things alone." 

_But you have. You've dealt with losing Younghyun alone, being left_ alone _by me. God, I don't even know if I properly said goodbye to you._

"Maybe I'll write a song," Brian decides to muse along given the situation.

Jae smiles and says,

"I'll be sitting right here watching you perform it once it's written, then." 

The two go on to watch the rest of the performances, but Jae leaves first, telling Brian he has to meet up with Wonpil, but in reality he just doesn't want to deal with the awkward feeling which is hindering him from enjoying the show.

Brian is kind of thankful that he's left alone, giving him time to think by himself without the biggest form of distraction right beside him. The live music only acts as background noise as he's rethinking everything. 

He goes home to Minri, but he doesn't sleep right away like he usually does; mainly to avoid uncomfortable conversation. 

"Oh" Minri says, kind of surprised as she's getting ready to sleep,

"You're gonna play?"

Brian has his guitar in his hands, a blank score infront of him,

"Oh, sorry it's late, isn't it? Never mind-" and he goes to put it back on it's stand,

"No, play!" Minri says, excitedly with a beautiful smile on her face.

"It's been a while since I've heard you," she says fondly and Brian just smiles.

"Play me something to sleep?" Minri asks, as she practically runs to their bed, and gets under the covers. Brian just laughs lightly, and clears his throat before asking,

"Any requests?" 

"Anything. I just want to hear your voice," she replies, resting her head on the pillow as she gets comfortable underneath the blankets. 

Brian thinks for a while, but soon enough, the sound of his guitar fills their dimly lit room.

**Please don't see just a boy caught up in dreams and fantasies**

**Please see me reaching out for someone I can't see**

**Take my hand, let's see where we wake up tomorrow**

Brian's smooth voice, along with the soft strumming of the strings is what Minri falls asleep to, an unconscious smile on her face as she drifts into slumber. Brian waits till Minri's breathing becomes steady, before he stops singing. He moves out into the living room with his guitar and blank score, and sits on their couch. Brian decides to write a song, but not the lyrics just yet, just the melody for now.

He decides to go to bed once he's satisifed with his intro, and has a set chord progression. 

Brian quietly enters their room, trying not to wake Minri, and settles in bed. He lays beside her, staring. Brian lightly brushes the hair out of her face and plants a soft kiss on her forehead, like routine, and whispers a 'good night' and, for the first time in a while, he's not left awake staring at the ceiling.

The next day, Brian does the cafe and finds it odd that Jae doesn't stop by. Instead, Wonpil's there, talking to Sungjin as usual, his drink in his hand as Brian ever so often interrupts their conversation to get Sungjin to make an order.

It may be busy, but it feels quieter than usual, and Brian tells himself it's only because Jae's not at the counter distracting him. 

But, he can't really blame Jae for not coming. They were both completely sober, so they can't chuck Jae's actions up to the excuse of alcohol. The barista figures it's fine, and that Jae will probably get over it, and come back tomorrow. 

Brian just finishes serving a customer when his phone goes off,

Minri♡: hey bri! just got off work, but i'm gonna run some errands. see you at home! 

Brian replies with an 'ok! :) ' and then goes back to work. 

Minri makes a quick stop at their apartment to change into more comfortable clothing. Minri is a teacher who deals with preschool kids, so she usually gets off a lot earlier than Brian. This is her first year in teaching, but she's good at dealing with the children. She slips on some white shorts and borrows Brian's denim button-up which is too big for her petite frame, but she likes it.

She's minding her own business, just shopping for some groceries, when she hears a,

"Hey," 

She turns to see the owner of the voice, and is greeted with a man, quite short and wide, in the nicest terms Minri could put it. He hadn't shaven in a while, and his sketchy appearance wasn't giving quite a comforting vibe.

"Hi," she replies, cautiously.

"You look beautiful," he comments.

_It's just a compliment_ , she tells herself to calm herself down.

"Thank you," she says with an awkward, uncomfortable laugh accompanying it.

And then he gets a little too close for comfort. 

"You smell nice, too..." 

"U-Uh, thanks" she says, backing away, but he only gets closer.

This time he starts running a hand down her arm, and she flinches at his touch,

"I have a boyfriend," she warns. 

"I don't see him," the man replies, and continues on to whisper,

"Plus, he doesn't have to know" and she's about to scream for help, when someone interrupts his unwanted touching,

"Minri!" a voice calls, and she turns to look, the man's hands finally getting off of her,

"Hey babe," the voice says, endearingly, and Minri looks at him confused, because it's not Brian's who's saying this.

"I was wondering what was taking you so long," Jae says with a smile, and Minri is still completely lost. 

"Our cart is over there," he gestures towards the items in Minri's hand,

"Why don't you go put those things in there?"

Minri's staring at Jae, and Jae just tilts his head towards some general direction and then Minri is off, leaving Jae and the man alone. 

When Minri's far enough, Jae turns to the man, leaning in close and says through his gritted teeth,

"If you _ever_ lay your hands on her again," and he didn't know he could act this well so he's quiet for a few seconds, adding to the dramatic effect, before continuing,

"I _will_ hurt you." he warns. The man stares at Jae, who's significantly taller and his tone of voice and expression aren't that pleasant either.

"Get out of here." Jae says and the man is off. Jae gives himself a pat on the back before going to find Minri, who he finds near the cash registers, 'their cart' which never existed nowhere to be seen.

"Hey," he says,

"You okay?" 

Minri looks shook, still nervous and traumatized, but she looks at Jae with grateful eyes,

"I am now," she says,

"Thank you." Minri adds, sincerely and Jae gives her a smile before saying,

"Don't worry 'bout it. Just did what everyone else would've done," Jae replies,

"God, that was so scary..." she says and Jae can hear the fear in her voice,

"Seriously Jae, thank you- I didn't know what I was gonna do"

"Hey hey," Jae tries calming her down, his voice gentle

"It's fine. Just glad I saw you when I did, and you're okay"

"Do you wanna go out for some ice cream?" he offers,

"Not trying to hit on you or anything," Jae quickly clarifies, making Minri laugh, relieving Jae 

"No, no, I wasn't assuming that." she says,

"I just thought ice cream would probably make you feel a little better," Jae informs,

"Plus, I don't want that guy to follow you out of here,"

"Oh, you don't have to,"

"And who said I was paying?" the author says, and Minri doesn't know what to say, but then Jae laughs,

"Just kidding," and Minri begins laughing too,

"I'll just pay for these, and we can get going"

"Okay," Jae says and decides to follow Minri to the check-out, looking around to see if the man had dared to stay around.

They're walking to the closest ice cream parlour, which Jae insists is amazing, and Minri gladly follows along.

"So Jae, what were you doing there?" Minri asks, referring to the store,

"Oh, I needed to buy some necessities," Jae replies, slightly lifting the bag of things he's purchased,

"Y'know, just toiletries and snacks" 

"And those are necessary?" 

"Of course! Especially the snacks," the author replies, and the 2's laughter travels through the slightly busy sidewalk.

"Just so that there's no confusion, I'm not interested in you in a romantic way," Jae reminds as he holds the door open for Minri to walk inside. She smiles as she gives an 'ok' sign with her fingers and says

"Perfectly clear." 

They walk inside the parlour, and Minri likes the slightly cool air, that almost smells like sugar. It's different, yet similar to the cafe. 

"What flavour do you like?" Jae asks, and Minri's browsing the tubs of ice cream.

"I like Mint Chocolate Chip," she says, and Jae nods,

"How about you?" 

And Jae's smile is huge when he points to the tub of ice cream that's contents are a swirl of red, blue and yellow.

"Superkid." and Minri contorts her face in confusion,

"Superkid?" she repeats,

"What does it taste like?" she asks, amused, considering the childish name and also the bright colours, which you wouldn't necessarily associate with a well-known author,

"I don't know, like... like childhood?" Jae answers, and then they both laugh.

Jae orders them 2 scoops each, of their choice, and then they're out and about, walking and enjoying their ice cream.

"Are you sure you're okay with this?" Minri asks,

"With?" 

"Being out in public, with a girl, eating ice cream," and Jae takes another spoonful of his Superkid before replying,

"Yeah, don't worry. People don't really recognize me, and even if they did, they wouldn't freak out." 

And Minri nods. They're just walking and eating, the silence is comfortable and Jae 

"Oh! Shoot," she says, and Jae looks at her, slightly concerned.

"What?"

"I forgot to buy something," Minri whines, and Jae takes a look at his watch,

"What time do you have to be home?"

"Any time, I don't have a curfew" Minri replies, with a light laugh and Jae says,

"Well, then let's go!" he says as he skips ahead, throwing his empty cup of ice cream in the trash, and turning around to look at Minri who's a few steps behind,

"Let's go buy that something" Jae says, with a smile that causes Minri to smile too, and jog slightly to catch up with Jae.

"You sure you're okay on time?" Minri asks, just to be sure

"Yeah, definitely. Got loads of it," the latter replies, and then they're off.

They enter a popular clothing store, and Jae almost loses Minri when he assumes, and starts walking towards the female section, but Minri walks the opposite way.

"Oh," he says,

"Buying something for Brian?" 

"Mhm!" Minri confirms with a smile that Jae can only describe as blissful, and cute. 

"Actually, now that I think about it,I'm actually really glad you came," she says and Jae doesn't avert his eyes from the polo shirts when he replies,

"And why is that?"

"You can be my model," Minri answers happily before adding,

"You and Brian look like you'd be about the same size, torso-wise." 

And Jae smiles sadly as he remembers the amount of times Younghyun and him shared clothes because, like Minri assumes, they were the same size for tops. They practically shared closets, and Younghyun's favourite thing to borrow was Jae's sweaters, and Jae swears he still has some of his.

"What're you thinking of getting him?"

"I want to get him an outfit,"

"Wasn't his birthday a while ago?"

"Yeah, but random gifts here and there won't hurt him," she says with another sweet smile.

Jae's almost sad; because this is Brian's girlfriend. She's so sweet, and sincere, and her eyes when she talks about Brian are so bright that Jae wonders if that's what's blinding his judgement.

"So, how did you and Brian meet?" Jae asks, and they're browsing through the button-up tops,

"He was performing at one of these live clubs" she answers, smiling as she retells the story of how her and Brian had came to be.

"That night, I didn't want to go out with my friends, and I was so convinced that a live club would be boring..." 

Jae watches as Minri just skips through clothes, not really paying attention to browsing for a gift at the moment,

"But now that I look back, going to a 'boring live club' was a decision I don't regret. His voice was enchanting, much like his looks, and so after his performance, I decided to go up to him and compliment him, and then I guess we hit it off. Started talking more, then exchanged numbers, and the rest is history" Minri laughs to herself, blushing as she processes how cheesy this is all sounding,

"Sorry, I still get butterflies, I know it's really lame," 

"No, no, it's cool, I get it" Jae says, with a smile,

"Oh, yeah, you probably do, Mr. Author of my favourite Romance Novel," 

"Well then, thought my name was Mr. Park, but, to each their own" Jae jokes and Minri responds with laughter.

"Oh! I saw your interview, and I agree with the interviewer, there's no way you haven't dated anyone" 

"Should I take that as a compliment or..." 

"I mean, from a girl's opinion, I think you're quite handsome. But, my main thought was there was no way you could write such heartfelt things without being in love,"

"And who said I haven't been in love?" Jae asks, and Minri thinks of an answer,

"I haven't dated anyone, that much is true, but I don't remember saying I haven't loved anyone before." 

"What happened to that person? The one you loved?" Minri asks,

"Well, considering I've never dated anyone, let's just say we didn't end up like you and Brian," he answers, and Minri feels apologetic seeing the sad smile on Jae's face

"I mean, I have some girl friends I can hook you up-"

"What? No! That wasn't my intention" Jae cuts off, laughing.

Jae's standing still, as Minri's seeing how tops would look on Jae, and Jae wondering why he's doing all this.

"Do you still think about that person?" 

"A lot." 

"Do you think you'll get over them soon?"

"I don't know if I want to give up on them just yet. Still thinking things through" 

"I mean, I, personally, think that if the feelings aren't the same, if they're not there anymore it's better to let the person you love go." 

Jae remains quiet, nodding as Minri's still browsing through clothes.

"And when you do, one of my girls might be up for a date" she jokes and Jae just laughs.

Minri ends up buying Brian an outfit, and Jae wonders if he was really needed to be a 'model' but he honestly didn't mind spending time with Minri.

It gave him a chance to know her better, and she became more than just "Brian's girlfriend." 

Jae's contemplated whether or not he should hate Minri.

But then again, he has no reason to. 

Minri didn't steal Younghyun from him, because she's _Brian's_ girlfriend. It's not like Younghyun disappeared to cheat on Jae-

Cheating. That is also invalid, Jae concludes, because in order for Younghyun to cheat, they would've had to been dating.

Minri hasn't done anything malicious to Jae, and honestly, spending this short afternoon with her only made Jae's view on her positive.

She's pretty, Jae admits, and the sincerity in her voice, the affection, the endearment in her eyes whenever she's talking about Brian is so sadly relatable to Jae.

Jae knows the feeling that causes the natural smile when that certain someone's name leaves your lips. And the fact that both him and Minri have experienced it because of essentially the same person, is sad yet comforting in some odd way.

Jae would mainly describe Minri as nice. She's pleasant, kind, and beautiful. She's funny, and easy to talk to and Jae can only think of positive adjectives which isn't really comforting given his situation.

They part ways, and leaving Jae alone with his thoughts, as per usual. Minri goes back to their apartment, and Brian's pleasantly surprised and thanks her sincerely. 

"Do you like it?" Minri asks, looking at Brian who's looking at himself in the mirror in his new outfit.

"Yeah, I love the shirt!" 

"Ah, it was a good thing I listened to Jae then" she replies, and Brian's curiosity is peaked,

"Jae?"

"Yeah, he was there. He helped me pick out that shirt" 

Brian just nods, and turns back to the mirror to appreciate the outfit. Over dinner, Minri tells Brian why she was with Jae in the first place, and then they go on to talk about other trivial things of life.

It's a few days later, and Brian's working the cafe with Sungjin. It's been a while since he's seen Jae, and Jae's usual spot at the counter is replaced with Wonpil. Minri's also here, and it would feel complete with Jae, but he's been MIA for a while.

Brian's not really listening to whatever Wonpil and Sungjin are talking about, but his best friend's laugh is frequent and he feels happy and slightly proud about that. He's just watching Minri slowly drink her latte, but then he decides to interrupt,

"Hey," he says, and all 3 of have their attention on Brian,

"Do you guys know where Jae is? Haven't seen him in a while,"

"Oh, I forgot to tell you guys" Wonpil speaks up,

"He's gone again."

"Gone? Again?" Brian repeats,

"Mhm. Whenever he's bothered by something, or has writer's block he usually just leaves for a bit," Wonpil answers,

"Where does he go?" 

"Anywhere. It changes everytime, and he's usually gone for about a week, maybe two."

"Does he do this a lot?" Sungjin asks,

"It started about 3 years ago, he says being in a new place gives him a new mindset, and allows him to clear his mind, which I can kind of get," Wonpil answers, and then adds,

"I've gotten used to receiving just one text from him before he leaves, and it always just reads 'brb'." he says, laughing at the end.

Brian's thinking again, wondering where Jae is right now, or if he's still on a plane, bus, train or in his car.

"He usually goes somewhere far, too. Last time he went to London" Wonpil adds. 

"Ah, so that's why he bought those things" Minri says, and the turning of the boys' heads causes her to continue,

"When I was with him last week, he bought some 'necessities' and snacks" she basically quotes. 

"Oh, then he's been planning this since last week... Something is probably bothering him, then. When it's writer's block, it's usually a spontaneous trip with last minute booking and packing" 

It's quiet again, before Minri comments,

"Being able to escape the chaos of everyday life like that..." and she says,

"Must be nice." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please leave any comments, would love to know your thoughts! thank you for reading.


	9. Coincidence

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> twitter: @zenkrcovers | kakao: zenaya  
> feel free to message me on either! I'm friendly and enjoy conversation! :D

"Don't you think it's a little sudden?" Minri says, scoffing, her voice hinting at the tiny amount of annoyance, but filled with the genuine surprise.

"I mean, I have been saying I wanted to go," Brian answers, 

"Yeah, but I didn't know you were _actually_ gonna go, _this_ soon" she says.

Minri has a point, the trip to Canada is pretty sudden. Jae's been gone for a week now, and Minri assumes that her boyfriend is simply inspired by the method of stress relief that Jae demonstrates.

And it's believable, it's part of the reason Brian's going; to clear his head, but hopefully in the sense that doesn't involve completely resetting his memory.

And that's the main reason he's visiting Canada so suddenly.

To see if the sudden trip back to that country will bring back the erased memories; bring back the life of Younghyun he doesn't remember.

"It's only for a week," Brian says, as if it's supposed to be comforting.

"Yeah, I know... But I'm gonna miss you," Minri replies, and Brian habitually smiles before hugging her.

"Hey," he says,

"I'm not leaving forever, I'm coming back."

And for some reason Brian's mind goes on to wonder if he said that to Jae before he left. Wonders if Jae heard these same words, only for him not to return and say "I told you so," and Jae being left alone, feeling abandoned but also having that tiny ounce of hope that maybe he would stay true to his words.

Minri smiles and wraps her arms around Brian, and leans her head against his chest,

"Okay," 

"Are you going to visit your parents before you leave?"

"No, nope, definitely not," the profuse denying accompanied by almost an offended laugh causes Minri to ask,

"Why not?"

"They don't need to know,"

"But I think they'd like to know,"

"Yeah, well, I would've liked to know a lot of things from them, but" Brian sighs, realizing his slightly harsh tone,

"I think it's just better if I go without their knowledge." 

Minri decides not to ask questions,

"Okay. But if your mom calls me and asks about you, what do you want me to say?"

"You can tell them, but I just don't want them to know before I leave,"

"Brian, this is weird, are you hiding something?"

"Min-ah, I _will_ explain everything to you, one day. _Please_ , can you just trust me for now?" 

Brian's voice isn't annoyed, or irritated. Instead it's apologetic, and sincere and that's what causes Minri to nod, and just say,

"Fine," she surrenders, and puts her hands up,

"Need help packing?" she offers with a cute smile, and Brian just smiles and gestures toward his practically empty luggage situated on the floor of their bedroom,

"Please" he says.

Packing for Canada involves a lot of Minri being picky with what her boyfriend is going to bring, and Brian just wanting to dump his whole closet into the luggage an hour and a half in. 

"Where'd you get this?" Minri asks, holding up a white hoodie with an aqua popsicle design all over,

"Uh..." Brian thinks, but nothing really comes to mind,

"I'm not too sure, actually" 

"Hm, weird." she replies, but then proceeds to fold it,

"You should bring it with you though, just incase you get cold" and Minri places the sweater in the luggage.

The couple finishes packing, and then go to sleep because Brian's leaving the next day. 

The next morning, Brian cooks breakfast like he usually does, and eats in front of Minri,

"Does Sungjin know?"

"Yeah, you and Sungjin know."

"Are you staying at a hotel?"

"Nah," he denies,

"I'm staying at my friend's place." 

"Text me when you land, okay?" Minri says,

"Will do" he replies with a smile, and kisses her forehead as he gets up to do the dishes. 

Minri drives Brian to the airport, and they share a chaste kiss before Brian's already boarding his 14-hour flight.

When Brian lands back in Toronto, reasonably, the memories don't come flooding back.

He doesn't know what he was expecting; maybe one foot-step back on Canadian soil and the memories would return, but he knows that it could happen anytime. Just like another reset, the memories returning, if it does happen, can happen any moment. 

Although being one of the reasons for this trip, Brian decides not to focus on it. As if thinking, and waiting for it to happen may jinx it entirely.

So when his friend picks him up from the airport, Brian allows himself to be distracted from his condition, and the curiosity of what's lost.

"Oh man, it's been awhile!" his friend, Terry says, and Brian almost habitually replies in Korean, but catches himself

"Yeah, I know, man."

"So! How's life been?"

"It's been..." Brian doesn't know how to tell Terry that it's currently a chaos of emotions and questions all because of someone he forgot upon coming to Canada the first time.

"It's been hectic,"

"How's your girl, is she okay?"

"Yeah, she's good"

"Are you guys okay?" 

Brian laughs a bit, 

"We're good, how about you? Got a girl yet?"

"Nah, university is taking too much of my time to even think about being in a relationship." Terry replies, 

"Do you think you're gonna marry her?" is a question Brian isn't expecting nor is he ready for,

"I don't know... I mean, we're both still young, right? So, I can't really answer that." is what he replies with, though.

"Yeah but, you've been dating her for, what, 3 years now? Can you picture yourself with anyone else?" Terry asks,

"I'm not sure." and Brian thinks about a time when he could've answered "no" without hesitation. 

A time where his love for Minri was unquestionable, no doubt laced his actions or words towards her. 

Brian's eyes are focused on the tall buildings that flash by his window, the familiar streets of Toronto passing by and Brian finds himself happy.

He misses the nights on the town, simply hanging out with the boys and not being bothered by his life or condition. He rolls down the window, and sits back to appreciate the crisp air running through his hair as if he's in a movie scene, admiring the foreign yet familiar food trucks parked on some streets. 

Brian decides that even if he doesn't get his memories back; he's going to enjoy the trip. 

He figures that Jae is on to something, leaving to another place to just clear your head, be surrounded by new things that are both exciting and slightly frightening.

"Oh, Bri, the boys wanted to hang out tonight, but I told them maybe we'll do something tomorrow since you might be tired from your flight" 

"Yeah, the time change is getting to me. But, I'd definitely want to see them ASAP," Brian replies.

"Oh, for sure. You can crash in my room if you're tired," Terry says, 

"Thanks," is all Brian says with a smile, and then returns to gazing out the window.

Terry's bed is comfortable, his room is almost the exact same as what Brian remembers it being 4 years ago. He's jet-lagged, and overall tired from his travels, so he's just about to slip into slumber when his phone goes off. 

He's going to ignore it, and simply mute his phone but then he remembers his girlfriend's request. He springs up from Terry's bed, and checks the notification on his phone, but already assumes it's Minri asking if he's okay. But it's not, it's just a notification from one of his social medias that he doesn't really care about. 

He goes to text Minri, but figures a call would be better considering it's been almost 2 hours since he landed, and she might be panicked.

He dials her number, and is waiting for her to pick up. He runs a hang through his hair, and sighs, simply just wanting to sleep.

"Brian?" she picks up, and Brian can tell by the tone of her voice that she was sleeping,

"Hey," he says softly,

"Sorry, I forgot about the time difference," he adds as he looks at the digital clock on Terry's bedside table.

"No no, it's fine. You landed safely?"

"Yeah, perfectly fine."

"You sound tired," Minri says,

"Oh, look who's talking" he replies, and hears soft laughter from the other line.

"Was your flight smooth?"

"Yeah, not too bad. The food could've been a bit better though," he jokes. 

"Okay, I'll let you sleep. I'll text you later," Brian says and Minri just hums in reply, too tired to vocalize a response

"Night, Min-ah,"

"Bye Bri~" she says, and mumbles somewhat of a 'love you' and Brian smiles while saying,

"Love you too." 

And having assured Minri, Brian sleeps peacefully, and Terry understandably doesn't wake him up. Brian passes out for a long time, and only wakes up to eat and go to the washroom. Terry and his parents are completely comfortable with Brian, so they're okay with the fact that he only comes out to eat, then retreats back in Terry's room to sleep again. 

The next day consists of Brian catching up with the boys, teasing about how he's probably going to get hitched to Minri, and a lot of eating which Brian wasn't complaining about. 

The week is filled with a lot of Terry bringing Brian around to new booming food places that were nonexistent 4 years ago, catching up over coffee, and Brian actually performing a bit at a live club as a result of losing in a game of Rock, Paper, Scissors against Terry. 

But on the second last day, he decides to have an alone day.

Thankful that Terry lives downtown, Brian doesn't need to borrow a car, or take the transit, but simply walks. He leaves Terry's home in the afternoon, and tells his friend that he'll probably be back later tonight. The weather isn't too warm or cold, so he wears the white hoodie Minri packed for him.

He doesn't recognize some shops that have opened, but for the most part, most of the city looks the same. He stops by a couple of stores to buy something for Minri, almost blushing as he enters some sections of the stores, ignoring the amused stares that follow him. 

Brian decides to visit the CN Tower, telling himself that he might as well considering he doesn't know when he'll be back next.

He's walking cautiously around the glass floor, and there's not that many people there, so he doesn't feel too embarrassed and 'tourist-y' when he starts snapping some pictures. He's crouching down, almost sitting, taking pictures of the scenery beneath him.

But he almost has a heart attack, when something falls on the floor right beside him, and apparently Brian's scared jump was less subtle than he thought,

"Oh, sorry" a voice says as the owner bends down to pick up the phone that had fallen,

"It's okay," Brian replies with awkward laughter, but then his smile disappears when he looks up to see the clumsy owner of the phone,

"Oh," and the tone signifies that he's just as surprised as Brian

"What're you doing here..." Brian asks as he stands up, and the blonde, tall man in front of him smiles awkwardly and answers,

"I heard the poutine here was pretty good." 

"Oh man, people were right!" Jae says excitedly as he devours the plate of fries, gravy and cheese in front of him. Brian's watching in slight awe, but not just at the speed at which Jae is consuming the poutine.

After meeting at the CN Tower, Jae and Brian decide to go grab some dinner together, mainly out of courtesy to avoid any awkward goodbyes.

"Your English is pretty good," Brian comments in Korean and Jae answers with,

"Studied in Cali for a bit," in English, as if to prove himself.

"So, this your first time in Canada?"

"Mhm!" 

"When do you plan on going back?"

"Actually, I was supposed to leave today, but my flight got cancelled and so now I'm leaving tomorrow." 

And their conversation reverts to Korean,

"I'm leaving tomorrow too, what time's your flight?" 

"I'm not too sure..."

"How do you not know when you're leaving?" Brian asks, laughing lightly,

"Because I don't want to." Jae replies, honestly.

"It's the same feeling everytime I run away like this. I don't want to go back to my problems, to what's been stressing me out so much that I left," 

_But, looks like it followed me here this time_ , Jae thinks, staring at Brian who has begun eating,

"Would you want to come back?" Brian asks,

"Oh, yeah definitely. But I'd want to come back for fun. You know, not because I'm too stressed or overwhelmed back home, but simply for vacation purposes." 

"It was crazy seeing you here though," Jae comments,

"Yeah, I know. I wouldn't have ever guessed you escaped to here,"

"I wasn't expecting to meet you at the CN Tower either," Jae replies,

"What a coincidence..." Brian says, nodding as he thinks and Jae ignores the way his mind wanders to focus on the word 'fate'. 

The two finish up dinner as the sun starts to set on the busy city. The hours pass by a lot quicker when there's company, Brian concludes, and he didn't realize he missed Jae's rambling. They're just walking around Toronto, Brian showing Jae where he studied for a bit.

_So this is where you were_ , Jae thinks, and he ignores the venomous thoughts of;

_I wonder if you kissed someone else while you were here; if someone received the same attention that I did-_

Because it's not like things would change. Brian has Minri, Jae's aware, so whatever he did in college wouldn't make a difference.

They're walking side-by-side, Brian holding the bag of Minri's present on the opposite side of Jae so there's not much distance between them. Mainly to be able to hear Jae's words amidst the noisy city. 

It's about 9PM, and Brian didn't realize how long he's actually been out, but they decide to stop by a bar downtown. Jae chooses not to drink, the main reason being Brian's with him, and he doesn't want to repeat any mistakes.

Brian, however, decides to drink a bit. 

He figures that he might as well let go while he's still on vacation, and decides to drink a couple of beers. He's still sober enough that his words aren't slurred, and only the distant lights in the bar are a bit fuzzy. 

Jae, however, is right beside him and he's clear as day.

"So, why'd you come back to Canada?"

"Missed it," he says. and Jae nods,

"Needed to clear my head." he adds, and then continues,

"Tried to get back what it took from me." 

Jae smiles sadly and thinks,

_Yeah, it took you from me too._

"Clear your head, huh?" Jae says as he takes a sip of his soda,

"Something still bothering you?"

Brian just nods,

"Why don't you talk to Sungjin about it? Minri?"

"Because I don't know how to tell them,"

"Tell them what?" Jae asks,

"Tell them that..." he thinks of how to word it, he always wonders if it's okay to tell Jae.

But then something clicks in his mind, the lightbulb turns on, as he recalls Jae meeting his parents at the cafe.

The tense atmosphere between Jae and his dad, the intoxicated words of questioning from Jae, asking if his parents said anything. 

It's a mix of betrayal but also guilt that intertwines with Brian's,

"You know." 

"I know what?" Jae asks, and Brian almost feels stupid,

"You know who I am,"

Jae scoffs, and assumes that Brian found out about the past he had forgotten,

"Of course I know who you _are_ , _Brian Kang_." and a sad smile makes it's way to Jae's face.

He's been smiling sadly too often ever since he met Brian, he thinks,

"I also knew the you that you forgot." 

Brian doesn't know if he has the right to feel betrayed.

"Why didn't you tell me you knew?"

"What would it change?" Jae asks, 

"What would you want me to say to you, Brian?" 

And he doesn't know how to respond.

"You could've let me know-"

"Know what? Brian, it wasn't my place to tell you that the life you've come to believe wasn't real,"

"If anything it should have been you," Brian says,

"Not the people that took me away from you-"

"They didn't take you away, Brian." Jae corrects,

"They took away Younghyun."

It's quiet, and Brian thinks he's never had such a serious conversation with anyone,

"Even if I did tell you, would you have believed me?" Jae asks, and Brian wants to say 'yes' immediately, but he doesn't.

"Would you listen to some author who happened to meet you at the cafe you work at, who tries telling you 'Hey! You're the person I used to be in love with, and you loved me too!'?"

And when Jae puts it like that, it's absurd. 

"Still."

"God, still _what_ , Brian?"

"You could've given me a hint, something that would've lead me to the truth,

"I became friends with you." Jae says, and Brian isn't sure what he means at first,

"I still talked to you, I'm here in your life, Brian. By chance, I happened to be with you on your birthday, and your parents met me."

"And that was supposed to lead me to the truth?" Brian asks, and Jae says,

"It did, though"

And Brian can't deny it. Although indirectly, it's kind of true. If Jae hadn't become Brian's friend, he wonders if he would even question anything of the past.

"So you know." Jae says after long minutes of silence,

"Know that my parents lied to me? Yeah, I do."

"And so, what do you want me to do?" Jae asks,

"What do you mean?"

"Do you want me to stop talking to you?"

"No, what, why would I want that?"

"Because it seems like I'm making things hard for you." Jae replies and it's quiet again.

"It seems like me being involved with you causes so many questions and doubts..."

"What about you?"

Jae tilts his head,

"It must be hard being right beside the person you love when they don't remember you."

Jae ignores how right Brian is,

"I like being friends with you, Brian." he admits,

"But I don't fool myself thinking you and Younghyun are the same person. You guys like different things, have different habits. So, if it's okay with you, I'd like to remain friends. But if you want, I'll walk away right now and we can pretend like we never met."

"How can I pretend like you didn't change my life?"

"Forget." 

Brian laughs, and it's so sarcastic that it almost hurts,

"You make it sound so simple,"

"And you asked me as if that's any easier."

It gets quiet again, and neither of them choose to break the silence. It's an unsaid mutual understanding that they're going to continue talking, see what happens. 

Brian drinks a bit more, and Jae still hasn't had a sip of alcohol,

"I like your sweater." Jae comments, an amused smile on his face

"Thanks,"

"Where'd you get it?" 

"I'm not too sure,"

"Makes sense." Jae replies and says,

" 'Cause that's mine," before taking a sip of his soda. 

And Brian doesn't know why he's laughing, but he is. 

They enjoy each other's company for a while longer before Jae says he should get back to his hotel, and Brian says that Terry's probably wondering where he is at this time. They part ways, and Terry helps Brian pack before they both go to bed.

Brian finds himself shifting over to Group 1, telling himself it was just a coincidence that he wore Jae's sweater upon meeting him.

Even meeting Jae as a whole, was pure coincidence.

And he tells himself it's just coincidence again, when he's at the airport the next morning, and his eyes catch a tall, blonde man who just dropped his passport and tripped over his own luggage.

But when he's seated in the plane, and Jae goes to sit beside him, he says under his breath,

"Oh, you've got to be kidding me.."

And Jae takes a second look at his boarding pass, making sure he has the right seat, coincidentally right beside Brian. He laughs awkwardly, still standing,

"What a coincidence, huh?" he says, and Brian can't disagree. 

Jae puts his carry-on in the overhead compartment, sits down, and Brian has a sudden feeling that this flight is going to be a long one. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please comment any thoughts, would love to know! thank you for reading.


	10. Who

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> twitter: @zenkrcovers | kakao: zenaya  
> please feel free to message me on either! I'm actually friendly and am so thankful for the people who already contacted me! :D

Brian sends a quick text to Minri, telling her his estimated time of arrival, then proceeds to turn his phone off, and shove it in his pocket.

They've already taken off and it's only been about 25 minutes into the fight. It's after he ruffles through his small bag and pockets that Brian realizes he left his headphones at Terry's.

He groans, but stops when he sees an earbud being extended to him,

"Wanna listen?" Jae asks and Brian's hesitant at first, because the second earbud is in Jae's ear,

"You don't have to, but just thought I'd offer." he adds.

Brian accepts the earbud and places it in it's respective place, but then is surprised when Jae is handing him his phone.

"You can listen to whatever, I have a little bit of everything on my phone," 

Brian looks at him questionably,

"I can use my phone if you want,"

"Sure, either is fine," Jae says as he takes out a notepad and pen. 

Brian shrugs and figures since it's already out, it's better to use Jae's phone. He's about to ask what Jae's password is, when the phone simply unlocks with a swipe.

Brian plays a light-hearted song that he knows, and Jae immediately smiles. 

"I love this song," he comments and Brian nods with a smile,

"The guitar melody is really nice in this song. I learned it a while back, and I honestly find it relaxing to play," Brian answers what no one asked.

Brian half sings, half hums the lyrics, his voice fading away in Jae's mind as he recalls Younghyun struggling so hard.

_Jae hears a snap, and looks at Younghyun,_

_"You broke it again?!"_

_"It's the E string! It's thin and prone to breaking, leave me alone"_

_"It's only prone to breaking when you're playing the guitar,"_

_"That's not true!" Younghyun retaliates with an offended smile, mainly because he knows it's true._

_"What're you learning this time?" Jae asks, as he makes his way beside Younghyun,_

_"You couldn't tell?"_

_"I heard you play about 5 notes and then the string snapped." he replies as he laughs. Younghyun sighs and runs a hand through his hair,_

_"I was learning 'Thinking Out Loud',"_

_"Oh, it was actually supposed to be a song?" Jae jokes and Younghyun hits his arm,_

_"I'm kidding~"_

_"Whatever."_

_"Younghyun~" Jae sings as he hugs him,_

_"I was kidding." and Younghyun just smiles as he looks down at his guitar, still looking brand new, excluding the broken string, but other than that it looks unused despite all the failed attempts to play._

_"I love that song,"_

_"That's why I wanted to learn it. So that it could be our song," Younghyun replies and he gets up to replace the string, but Jae pulls him into a quick kiss first,_

_"I love you," Jae says against Younghyun's lips,_

_"And what's now 'our' song" he says with a proud smile as he gets up, connects his phone to Younghyun's speaker and plays the song._

_Younghyun smiles as he asks Jae's hand in a dance, and Jae laughs. They're not really the type to dance, but Jae figures what the Hell._

_"Shouldn't you be replacing your string so you can continue learning?" Jae asks, and Younghyun's arm pulls Jae closer,_

_"That can wait. I like being right here, with you in my arms. Listening to 'our' song,"_

Jae's drawn back to reality as the sadly, yet timely ironic lyrics sound in his ear,

**Baby, your smile's forever in my mind and memory**

He looks at Brian who's still captivated in the song, and reflects on the lost memory of him being captivated in his smile.

"You good at it?" Jae asks,

"I mean, I'm not too shabby," Brian replies, and Jae nods.

"What're you doing?" the barista asks as he slightly leans over to look at Jae's notepad,

"Oh, just brainstorming.."

"It looks like a bunch of scribbles to me,"

"Because you, sir, aren't using your imagination."

"Did I used to?" 

Brian brings up Younghyun again. 

Jae doesn't feel uncomfortable talking about, but at the same time he wonders if it's best to not enlighten Brian on the subject.

"Uh," he starts and then looks down at his paper,

"Yeah, yeah you did." Jae says while nodding,

"Or, should I say Younghyun did. There was this thing we used to do when we were bored, he would ask me to do random scribbles and then he would turn those lines into a picture... It was fascinating, because he was amazing at drawing and those random, beautiful drawings that emerged from just a simple chaos of lines..."

Jae smiles as he sighs, and Brian can see the affection in his eyes and can hear the fondness in his voice,

"They usually inspired me to write little short stories."

"Do you mind if I ask you about how I was?" Brian asks,

"Haven't I already told you?" Jae replies,

"Twice?" he adds, smiling and Brian replies with,

"Then, let me change the question."

"Uh oh." Jae says, mostly as a joke and Brian laughs a bit before asking,

"Do you mind if I ask you about how we were?"

Jae thinks for a bit, wanting to respond with 'Well, in all honesty there was no official we,' but his silence lasts for a few more moments before he replies,

"If you want."

"When did we meet?"

"We met in elementary school, you were in my class. You, Wonpil and I were really close, because the teacher had assigned us to sit in a group together." he answers,

"You've known me since then?"

"Met Brian a little over a month ago, knew Younghyun since we were about 12."

Brian laughs, 

"What were our favourite things to do?" 

"Together?" and Brian nods in response, and Jae thinks,

"It depended on the day. The weather, how we were feeling." he says, and then continues,

"On rainy days, our favourite thing to do was to stay inside. Younghyun liked the sound of rain hitting the windows, and would usually nap. But, I always needed to be beside him. He didn't nap unless he had _my_ hoodie on," Jae laughs, remembering how Younghyun would always invite himself to Jae's closet and throw something on,

"The rain was calming to him, but he loved staying in on days like that. Accompanied by me, and some classic movies, that was our favourite thing to do on rainy days." 

Brian wonders if he made a mistake by asking when he looks at Jae's sad eyes that are looking down at his paper,

"On cold days, he loved going out because apparently it gave us an excuse to hold hands because of the low temperatures." Jae laughs to himself and says,

"He really liked winter because of the snow, and the Christmas carols. But our favourite thing to do in the winter, this is going to sound really immature," he informs and Brian laughs,

"But we really liked building snow forts and having snowball fights."

"How about during the summer?"

"Swimming. Our favourite thing to do was go to the beach, but to be honest I didn't like it that much,

"So then why'd you keep going?"

"Because he liked it." Jae responds without hesitation and then goes on to explain,

"Actually, the reason I didn't like it is pretty petty, but" he laughs and it has Brian curious,

"What was it?" he asks with an amused smile, and Jae says,

"It's really pathetic and lame, but it just got annoying hearing all the girls make passes at him. Like, I know it's completely not his fault, but it just made me feel a bit insecure whenever they would try and talk to him, touch him and," Jae sighs,

"It was just a weird feeling because he technically wasn't 'mine', you know?"

"It's not _that_ petty of a reason, I mean, it's understandable." Brian says and Jae laughs,

"Is that supposed to make me feel better?"

"Hey, I tried." he replies, and it's quiet for a bit.

They're still listening to music on Jae's phone, and Jae's reverted back to scribbling, waiting for more questions.

"How did you feel when I left?" 

"When you initially told me, I figured it made sense considering your parents' views on whatever we were. But, I also trusted you, and believed in your promise that you'd be back,"

Brian mentally swears as he pictures Jae waiting for him, only for him not to come back.

"And, I mean, for the first few weeks you were in Canada, we messaged each other a lot, so it wasn't too bad. Seeing you through a screen wasn't ideal, but it was better than not seeing you at all. But then. you suddenly stopped replying," he says,

"I thought maybe your phone got wrecked, and I scolded myself whenever I thought something horrible had happened to you. So I waited for a few days for a reply," Jae says, 

"I wasn't angry, just concerned and simply wanted to know you were okay. But then days turned into weeks, turned into months...Eventually turned into years,"

It's quiet before Brian says, 

"Sorry," and the guilt in his voice is evident,

"Don't be. It's not your fault," Jae says and he means it.

"When I was here..." Brian starts,

"How, uh..." he contorts his face as he thinks if it's okay to ask this, and Jae finds the various expressions amusing so he laughs a bit,

"How come we didn't date?"

"Hmm.."

"How do I explain this..." Jae thinks, and taps his pen until he manages to think of a slightly coherent explanation,

"Like I told you before, there was no official 'will you go out with me' type of thing that happened." he starts,

"But it was like a mutual understanding. The feelings were mutual and obviously present, so we kind of just continued on with doing whatever we were doing. Doing things couples would do, yet not being an official couple. Neither of us saying or asking, because it was an unsaid understanding that we both felt had no need for words to clarify." the blonde answers, looking at Brian whose expression can only be described as amazed tinged with sadness.

"Did we hold hands a lot?"

"Not a lot, but we did. That's when the suspicion started from your parents,"

"Did we, uh... kiss?" Jae laughs, as he notices Brian's cheeks flush a very subtle pink,

"Mhm," he affirms,

"This probably sounds really weird, and you probably can't picture yourself, you know, doing things you do with Minri, with me, so if you wanna stop asking, it's cool" Jae tells Brian in some sort of attempt to comfort him, as he reveals the truth hidden from him for years.

"No, no, it's not that.. It's just, I feel so _bad_ that I don't remember any of this.."

"You don't have to,"

"But it makes you feel sad too, doesn't it? Knowing that I don't remember what it was like to hold your hand... to go through certain days with you, to go to the beach and get hit on by girls who didn't know their place," Brian replies, and Jae can't really deny it.

"I mean, it does. But, I think I've come to accept it, after almost 3 years" he replies,

"But honestly, knowing that you have a chance to get your memories back is better than finding out Younghyun was dead." Jae continues and then adds,

"Well, I mean.. he's not really living right now, but" he gives Brian a sad smile,

"You are."

It's quiet again, but then Brian asks another question,

"Do you know about the tattoo I have?" 

"Of course. I was there when you got it. Titled a book after that tattoo, in hopes that maybe you would reach out again.."

"Were you the one who got a matching one?"

"Yeah. We both decided it'd be brilliant to go on your 20th birthday, and I guess coming back inked triggered your parents to leave,"

"Why a dandelion?"

"You designed it when we were sitting outside one day. It was summer, and we just wanted to get away for a while, which resulted in us just sitting on top of a hill, and you had some pen and paper, you always did." Jae says, and Brian can't help but notice that sometimes when Jae answers his questions, he tells it like a story, like an old fairytale that never had a happily ever after.

"And there were a bunch of dandelions around us, and while I was trying to walk to you, me being me, I tripped and a lot of the seeds went flying. And you thought it was beautiful, which I was slightly offended by because instead of helping me up, you started drawing," Jae says while laughing and Brian only feels worse at the fact that Jae looks back at these memories and smiles.

"So, where's yours?" Brian asks,

"Same place, but I wear hoodies a lot so it's rarely visible," Jae answers,

"Yeah, why do you wear so many hoodies?" Brian asks a question not really involving whatever him and Jae were before,

"I like them, they're comfortable. But honestly, the reason I have so many is 'cause you kept taking mine," the blonde replies with a smile.

Jae's smile is truly beautiful, and Brian catches himself staring too long. 

The questions die down again, and neither of them decide to break the silence. Brian's not particularly focused on anything, mainly just trying to take all of the answers in. 

They've been talking so long, but Brian doesn't know how long. 

He also doesn't realize they've stopped talking for so long until he goes to ask another question, and sees Jae sleeping soundly.

Brian finds himself smiling as he looks at Jae, relaxed and at peace for once. He realizes that they're still listening to Jae's music, and Brian decides to change the currently playing upbeat pop song, to a slow song that has Brian thinking if it had any special meaning to him and Jae.

He's trying to fall asleep too, the relaxing song causing his eyelids to grow heavy, but then he feels something on his shoulder. He looks to see Jae's head resting on his shoulder, and ignores the way it feels so familiar.

He doesn't bother waking Jae up, or pushing his head off, and simply decides to just go to sleep too. And so he sleeps, wasting a few hours on dreams and much needed rest.

When he wakes up, there's no weight on his shoulder, but instead his view is tilted slightly. He's still holding Jae's phone, yawning yet not moving from his current position. 

But then he realizes the roles have switched, and he's leaning on Jae's shoulder,

"Oh, sorry," he says quickly and gets up and Jae responds with,

"It's cool. When I woke up, I realized I had done the same thing so, sorry" Jae replies.

"How many hours left?"

"I don't know, you have my phone, check the time," the blonde says and Brian rolls his eyes jokingly as he checks the time, and groans.

"We still have like 6 hours left,"

"At least we've made it through 8,"

"Man, I'm hungry." Brian says and Jae laughs but nods in agreement. 

"Did they serve the food, yet?" 

"Not sure, I was passed out," 

Brian kisses his teeth and shakes his head in disapproval,

"Excuse me, you slept longer" Jae argues,

"You fell asleep first,"

"You still slept longer! I woke up an hour ago,"

"Wow! Do you want a cookie?" Brian says sarcastically, and then they both laugh it off, realizing they sound like little kids bickering.

They both do their own separate thing, until the food finally comes. They ask for different dishes, and Jae also asks for a cup of instant noodles and Brian teases at how Jae couldn't just settle with one order.

The food comes and Jae finds himself habitually placing the vegetables he doesn't like on Brian's plate,

"Oh shoot, sorry" he says and goes to take it back, when Brian quickly picks it up with his chopsticks and puts it in his mouth.

Jae looks at him, confused,

"You put it on my plate, no take backs," Brian says with an amused tone.

Jae marvels at the idea of them being able to share such a serious conversation, then convert to exchanging such childish words.

They end up basically sharing food, which neither of them asked for but it just happens. 

"I'm full~" Jae whines, halfway done his noodles,

"See, you shouldn't have ordered it"

"What do you mean 'see', you didn't tell me not to, you just made fun of me afterwards," Jae retaliates and Brian laughs.

"Want the rest?" Jae offers, and Brian figures he's not _too_ full, and accepts the noodles.

It's quiet again, and it's already dark outside. They're supposed to arrive at about 10pm, and it's already 8.

Honestly, neither of them know how so much time passed so quickly. Maybe it was all the talking, or the fact that they both napped for so long, tired from God knows what.

Jae has his phone back, and his earphones are in his pocket. The notepad is still out, but he's resorted to just doodling at this point, and Brian thinks about how much more boring it is without music.

"You know," he says and Jae stops doodling for a bit, getting ready for a question,

"I wonder what will happen when or if I get my memories back... Like, what am I supposed to do with all that regained information?"

"You can just pretend like it never happened if that's what you truly want." Jae replies,

"I mean, you don't seem to hate the life you currently have as Brian, so if anything you can act like nothing happened."

"Who knows," Jae says,

"You may already have them back and you're just asking me to see if I remember accurately," he jokes and Brian really wishes that was the case. Brian just scoffs in disbelief and laughs it off.

"Hey, when did you find out I was Younghyun?" he asks and the latter replies with,

"The day I met your parents at the cafe. That's when I knew for sure." 

Brian nods and starts thinking,

"So, like... All the talking we did before that... Uh," Brian never realized he was so bad with words. Jae decides to say,

"If you're going to ask if I became friends with you with the knowledge you were Younghyun, the answer is no. I just liked talking to you. You were chill and funny, so I genuinely wanted become friends,"

Brian wonders how Jae knew that was what he was going to ask, but asks another question,

"How about now?" and Jae laughs a bit,

"I told you last night, didn't I? I still want to be friends with you, and I find our friendship pretty interesting, wouldn't you agree?"

"Well, it definitely isn't your typical buddy-buddy friendship" Brian replies and his tone of voice makes Jae laugh even more.

They talk for the rest of the flight, wasting the remaining on hours on lame jokes, shared memories and embarrassing school stories.

When they arrive at the airport, they both find themselves walking slowly.

"I always hate this part," Jae says,

"Coming back from such a relaxing vacation" he sighs, and he's half joking, half serious when he continues,

"For the most part it was relaxing until I met you," and Brian almost trips him. 

They continue talking, and walking and then Brian sees someone familiar,

"Oh, Minri's here.." he says and then Jae says,

"What's Wonpil doing here? How'd he know this was my flight.."

"Sungjin too?" Brian adds but then they both see the one person that doesn't look as happy to be there.

She's standing beside Minri, and Jae notices the way Wonpil's biting his bottom lip, awkwardly. Sungjin is between Minri and Wonpil, and Jae finds himself wanting to get away from Brian's side.

"Oh no..." Brian says under his breath and Minri's looking at him, almost apologetically. 

"Brian!" his mom yells and Jae just walks to Wonpil, simply wanting to get out of there and Wonpil understand.

"Mom, what're you doing here?"

"How could you just leave without telling us?"

"I'm 24," he replies but then her attention turns to Jae, who's just trying to go back home.

Then she does something completely unreasonable. It's stupid and irrational, and completely undeserved.

But that doesn't stop the hand that goes across Jae's face,

"Jae!" Wonpil and Brian yell in unison,

"How _dare_ you go on a trip with him," she hisses and Minri has her hands over her mouth in shock.

"Mom!" Brian yells, 

" _Who_ do you think you _are_ , walking out side by side with my _son_ " she continues on and Jae doesn't say anything.

In a matter of seconds, there are people surrounding them, their cameras out and Brian can only imagine the headlines in the news tomorrow.

"God, I hate you," Wonpil says to Mrs. Kang and grabs Jae's wrist and pulls him out of there.

Sungjin is confused, not knowing if he should follow Wonpil or stay with Brian, but Brian motions towards them and then Sungjin's off.

"How could you slap him?!" Brian yells,

"How could you go on a trip with him!"

"I wasn't on a trip with him! We just happened to be on the same flight!" 

"I don't want you associating with him anymore." she ignores Brian's statement and he rolls his eyes.

Minri's stuck in silence as she watches Brian and his mother fight. She's never seen Brian so angry and it's kind of scaring her.

"God, Mom, you can't tell me who my friends are! I'm 24 for Christ's sake! Don't you think you've controlled enough of my life?"

"Younghyun!" she lets it slip from her tongue.

It's a habit, that clearly still hasn't worn off. Maybe it's because Brian had never disobeyed, but that name always came out when she was scolding him. 

Brian scoffs, almost amused at how easily that rolled off her tongue.

"Who?" Minri asks, fear and confusion tangled in her voice.

Brian laughs, but it's almost sarcastic, before he looks at his mom and says,

"Yeah, mom." he makes his way to Minri's side, still looking at his mother,

"Who?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please comment any thoughts, I'd love to know! thank you for reading. <3


	11. Mess

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> twitter: @zenkrcovers | kakao: zenaya  
> feel free to contact me on either! I'm really friendly and would love to be friends! :D

"God, I swear one day I'm going to just snap and hit her," Wonpil says through his gritted teeth, and Jae responds with silence.

They're currently in Sungjin's car, he's driving while Wonpil and Jae are in the backseat.

"How could she just slap you like that?! Who does she think she is! That's assult, I can sue her for that, right?"

"Wonpil, calm down," Jae says and the lack of anger in his voice worries him. 

"Oh, c'mon. You can't possibly expect me to be calm after she just slapped you!" Wonpil yells. 

Sungjin decides it's best not to ask questions at this point, but to simply drive them to where they need to be. 

Wonpil groans, runs a hand through his hair and exhales. 

"How come you're not upset?", he sounds less anger driven, more concerned,

"Don't tell me you think you deserve it"

"I _am_ upset, and why the Hell would I think that?" Jae replies,

"I just don't know what to say or do, considering you dragged me out of there. And it's not like I can just hit her back, that's Brian's mom for God's sake,"

Jae has a point. 

Hitting her back isn't ideal for his image but he's also a bigger person than to stoop that low. 

"Sungjin," Wonpil says and he almost jumps.

"Can you just take us to my apartment, please?"

Sungjin nods and it's quiet. It's an awkward, silent car ride before Jae breaks it.

"Wait.." he starts and Wonpil looks at him, his eyebrows raised prompting Jae to continue,

"How does Sungjin know where you live?" he asks, with an amused smile.

Wonpil deadpans as Sungjin's eyes widen slightly but remain on the road.

"U-Uh, that's- that's because," Wonpil doesn't know why he's stuttering but Jae laughs.

"I was gone for like 2 weeks!" Jae says, as if that's supposed to mean something.

Wonpil slaps Jae in the arm, and Sungjin flushes a faint pink, as Jae's amused, annoying laughter fills the car. 

Meanwhile, things aren't so funny in Brian's car. 

It's quiet, and Brian's just thankful his mom came in her own car because there was absolutely no way he was about to drive her home after what just happened.

"Brian.." Minri starts, and isn't sure if it's okay to continue. And it's evident because she's quiet for a while, biting her lip as she thinks of what to say.

"Can we just talk when we get home?" Brian asks, his voice tired. 

She nods, agreeing that that's probably the best option to avoid any fighting and raising of voices and blood pressures.

"Sorry for telling your mom..." she finds herself saying,

"No, no, don't apologize... It's fine. Thank you for coming to pick me up," he says and that's all the words they exchange for the rest of the ride.

They arrive at their apartment and Brian doesn't let Minri help him with his luggage, telling her he's fine and a lady shouldn't lift. Minri gives him a faint smile and even the elevator ride up is silent and awkward, just like their car ride.

He's unpacking, and she's just sitting on their bed.

"How was your trip?" she decides to start off as casually as she can.

"It was good, much needed I think." he replies.

It gets quiet again and Minri's contemplating whether or not she should just straight up ask him.

"Hey, Bri?" she says, and he figures he might as well just tell her when she asks again,

"Who's Younghyun?"

He exhales and thinks of how to explain it without sounding like he's been deceiving her for 3 years. 

"Me." he starts,

"Min-ah, this is going to sound weird and you're may not believe me, because I certaintly didn't want to," he scoffs.

"When I had a reset in memory when I was about 20... My parents started calling me Brian, and that's what they told me my name was. I had no notion to question, and so I trusted them. But, before that reset," he pauses a bit, and Minri's just listening in silence,

"I was referred to as Younghyun, which was- is?" he scoffs at how uncertain he sounds about his own identity,

"My birth name."

Minri doesn't see such a big deal in it, so her

"Oh," is a lot less dramatic than what Brian had expected.

"That- that's it? Just an 'oh'?" he says, a bit amazed.

"Well, yeah," Minri replies, getting up to go help him,

"I thought she said the name of like a girl you were cheating on me with," 

"My name wasn't girly..." Brian says, wondering how things turned out like this.

"I mean... Do you remember anything about being Younghyun?" Minri asks, and Brian sadly replies with,

"No. I don't," 

"Then, what's so bad about it?"

"Min, my parents lied to me for 4 years"

"Maybe it was to protect you from something,"

"Protect-" Brian echoes and laughs but it sounds harsh,

"That's not why they lied to me.." he says, quietly, and he thanks whatever higher power up in the skies that Minri doesn't hear him. Mainly because, frankly, he's not really sure he wants to explain to Minri that the lies were because he loved Jae.

"I'm just saying, Bri..." she says and Brian just nods, trying to seem indifferent.

"Are you upset with your life now?" Min asks, almost scared of his answer

"What? No, no.. It's nothing like that," he assures, habitually making his way infront of her and snaking an arm around her waist.

"Then, what's so bad about leaving it in the past?" she says, almost in a whisper as their faces draw closer.

Minri gives him a kiss, and whispers against his lips,

"I missed you," and Brian subconsciously wonders if Jae would've done the same thing.

For what feels like the first time, the atmosphere in the cafe is awkward. Sungjin is just wiping some mugs dry, while Brian is working on a drink.

Sungjin clears his throat before asking,

"Did you see the headlines today?" 

"No, why?" Brian asks, apparently forgetting what had happened at the airport yesterday.

"It's-" Sungjin's about to tell him but gets cut off by the noisy entrance of Jae, hiding his face within his hoodie and under his hat, Wonpil following close behind, asking people to respectfully keep their distance.

"God, I told you not to go out in public," Wonpil scolds, and Jae just walks up to the counter as if he wasn't just being chased by some paparazzi trying to find some answers.

"I wanted some coffee," he replies and removes his hood and hat, and Brian thinks he looks significantly different without glasses.

"I could've made you some," Wonpil comments,

"Yeah, yeah, just go talk to Sungjin, okay?" Jae says with a laugh, and Wonpil hits him in the arm before walking over to Sungjin,

"Hey," he says with a smile and Sungjin returns one, as he replies,

"Hey."

Jae rolls his eyes with a teasing smile as he goes to talk to Brian. 

"Hey," Brian says to Jae,

" 'Sup?" he replies and but interrupts Sungjin and Wonpil's conversation,

"Sorry, but Sungjin could I get an Iced Americano?"

"Get Brian to make it," Wonpil argues and Sungjin laughs before saying,

"I'll have it ready in a few," 

Jae gives him a thankful smile before sticking his tongue out at Wonpil.

"So, uh.. Sorry about.." Brian doesn't have the heart to look him in the eye,

"Sorry about my mom... doing that thing..."

"Slapping me?" Jae asks, almost amused at the way Brian couldn't find the word,

"Yeah, that." he replies, and its quiet before they both laugh at how ridiculous they just sounded.

"Don't..." Jae exhales as he remembers the stinging of his cheek,

"Don't worry about it.. It's not your fault,"

"You say that a lot. You tell me it's not my fault, but it seems like you're always suffering 'cause of me." Brian finds himself saying, and Jae doesn't know how to respond.

Sungjin gives him his Americano and says,

"Have you read the articles?"

Jae takes a sip before nodding,

"Wonpil and I were reading some of them this morning."

"What articles?" Brian asks, and Wonpil throws him a magazine from the stand outisde

On the cover is a perfect still-shot of his mother's hand landing on Jae's cheek, no one else in frame. 

"It's kind of funny, people are thinking it's a crazy ex-girlfriend," Wonpil comments,

"Which is weird because why would I date someone the same age as my mom," Jae says and adds,

"My favourite assumption was it being a mom who was mad at me for ruining her daughter's idea of love,"

Brian doesn't feel comfortable enough to joke about it, because it was his mom on that cover along with Jae. He's grateful that Sungjin didn't ask about why she would do such a thing, because like with Minri, he doesn't know how to explain it's because he was in love with Jae.

"Things are a mess, though." Jae says,

"My manager started blowing up my phone, asking what I did to get a slap in the face."

"Just lay low for now. I mean, that's what I said before we came here," Wonpil says, still unamused of the mini-ambush he had to deal with.

"Sorry," Brian says again,

"I didn't know she would do that.." 

"Neither did I," Jae replies.

Sungjin gives them a curious look before looking at Wonpil who just shakes his head with a comforting smile, and mouths

"I'll tell you later." when he really means 'one day'. 

The pairs go back to their conversations, and Brian decides the repetitive apology would get annoying, so he decides to ask,

"Where are your glasses?"

"Decided to not wear 'em. I feel like I would get recognized more if I had them on," Jae says,

"You look different without them" Brian comments and Jae jokes around,

"I look cuter, don't I?" he asks with a bright smile, and Brian scoffs while shaking his head but not exactly vocalizing a 'no'. 

Jae takes another sip of his Americano, and Brian says it again,

"Seriously Jae, sorry"

"Not your fault," 

"But-"

"Hey, help me think of an explanation to reporters" Jae cuts off, a slightly evil smile on his face,

"Don't say anything! I told you to just lay low, it'll die down" Wonpil scolds, and Sungjin laughs at the way he sounds so fed up with Jae. Sungjin gets back Wonpil's attention and Brian manages to smile.

"Hey, did..." Jae starts,

"Did your mom say anything?"

"Accused us of going on a trip together," Brian replies, and then adds,

"Oh, she also said the name..."

"The name," Jae mocks and laughs a bit,

"Geez, didn't know I was in love with Voldemort" and Brian responds with laughter.

"So she said it, huh" Jae says, and takes a sip of his coffee,

"Did Minri hear?"

"Yeah,"

"And how'd you explain that?" 

"Told her the truth,"

"Oh, so she knows that we-"

"No, nope, not that part" Brian says and shakes his head, and Jae nods in acknowledgement.

"Understandable. I mean, how would you tell your girlfriend that you used to love me, right?" Jae says, but he sounds fairly sad, as he just plays with his straw.

It gets quiet again, and Brian's about to ask something when Jae's phone goes off.

"Hello?" he answers and the voice on the other line says some words that Brian can't decipher.

"Wha-what? You can't just decide that for me, that's..." Jae says, and now Wonpil is curious,

"Where are you?" he says, and starts getting up from his seat, and Wonpil almost habitually follows, 

"I'm going there right now." and Jae's already heading for the door,

"Where you going?" Wonpil asks as Jae puts his hat and hood back on,

"Meet with Jinhae," he answers,

"I'll be back," he adds, and then he's out the door. 

It's quiet before Brian asks,

"Who's Jinhae?"

"His manager.." Wonpil answers,

"I didn't like his expression when he left..." he adds and bites his bottom lip before shaking his head but then turning his attention to Sungjin.

Brian doesn't know how many hours has passed but it's getting darker outside. Wonpil's still there, probably waiting for Jae which is exactly what Brian's subconsciously doing.

And then he comes back in, his steps irritated and evident when Jae groans as he sits down beside Wonpil.

"God, I hate this~" he whines.

"What happened?" Brian and Wonpil ask in unison, 

"My manager and publisher are trying to take attention off me getting slapped." he answers, and Wonpil already has a bad feeling about it.

"And how do they plan on doing that?"

"Are they making you release a new book?" Brian asks, and Jae laughs,

"Oh man, I wish that's how they dealt with it."

"Dealt?" Wonpil asks, and adds

"So they already did something?"

"Yeah, and apparently there isn't much I can do about it." he answers. 

He sighs and runs his hands through his hair and lets it fall back on his forehead. 

"So, are you gonna tell us?" Brian asks, and Sungjin laughs a bit. Jae thinks a bit before saying,

"I, now," he takes a dramatic pause and Wonpil nudges him to continue,

"Have a girlfriend."

It has everyone quiet,

"You're joking, right?" Wonpil is the first to speak,

"No, that's how they plan to distract my 'fans' from the unknown woman whipping her hand across my face" 

"What the Hell were they thinking? They can't just go and set you up-"

"Well, they did. When I met Jinhae, she was with them.."

"Whoa, wait, you met her already?"

"Unintentionally, yeah.I didn't know she would be there..."

"What's her name?" Brian finds himself asking,

"Forgot."

"What does she look like?"

"Simply pretty," he answers,

"Long black hair, fair skin, and she's not too skinny." 

"How does she feel about this?" Sungjin joins in on the questions,

"Apparently, she's being offered enough money to deal with being my girlfriend for a while,"

"How long is a while?" Brian asks,

"Long enough until things start to fade." Jae answers. And there's something in his words that seems like he doesn't just mean the rumours and scandals.

"It's nothing too serious," the author says,

"We just need to be seen on dates, holding hands..." 

"Nothing too serious?" Wonpil asks,

"Jae, in your recent interview you said you've never dated anyone. So, to your fans, this is a huge deal. This is your first girlfriend, your first relationship."

It's quiet again and Jae's just staring at the counter, while Brian stares at him.

"God, this is such a mess." the author groans, and the other 3 boys can't help but agree.

The cafe a few days later isn't as tense or awkward. More anticipating, if anything, as Sungjin and Wonpil discuss how the headlines were now replaced with the news of Park Jaehyung and his new significant other.

Brian's just finished serving a customer, and is about to greet the one entering through the door when he realizes it's Jae and some girl following behind him. Their linked at their hands and Brian watches as they smile to the people with their phones out, almost following them into the cafe. 

And she is simply pretty. She doesn't look like she's trying too hard, doesn't look like she's wearing layers of make-up. 

She's wearing a flowy, light coral romper that compliments her pink lips and black hair.

They walk to take Jae's usual place at the counter, Jae setting himself beside Wonpil as he just stares at them.

"The usual please" Jae says, letting the girl's hand go, and Sungjin nods.

"And for you?" he asks her,

"Oh, I'll have an Iced Americano please" she replies, and Jae looks at her.

"It's your first time back here in a few days, and you're not gonna introduce your guest?" Wonpil asks with a mischievous smile.

"This is Kim Eunyi" he says and she smiles while bowing slightly

"Hi, I'm Sungjin" he says, placing her order infront of her with a friendly smile

"I'm Wonpil," 

Jae just lets his friends introduce themselves, 

"I'm Brian,"

"You're cute" she comments, catching most of them off guard,

"His girlfriend thinks so too.." Jae says while nodding and then taking a sip of his coffee. 

"Can't blame her," Eunyi says, 

"So, you're Jae's girlfriend?" Wonpil asks,

"Fake girlfriend." they both correct in unison and Wonpil shows an amused smile. 

"Who knows, maybe it'll turn real sooner or later," 

"I'd prefer later..." Jae says, and Eunyi nods,

"Or never." she adds with a laugh and Wonpil doesn't hate the way she jokes a lot and isn't offended by Jae's attitude.

"So, what's your theory?" Sungjin asks,

"On?"

"On why your boyfriend got slapped."

"I don't know. I mean, in all honesty I don't think he did anything wrong." Eunyi responds,

"I've seen the pictures, and if anything his face looks surprised and hurt rather than guilty.."

"That's pretty creepy that you could tell that from the photo," Jae says, smiling naturally

"Are you saying I'm right?" Eunyi replies and smiles back, her eyebrows raised curiously.

"There's a lot you don't know about me." he replies,

"Looking forward to learn."

Brian eyes their exchange of words. Jae doesn't look as irritated as he did a couple of days ago, and Eunyi isn't annoying, but she's funny and relates to Jae's humour. The author's smile is sincere, but so is his 'girlfriend's' and even Brian can see that.

"Oh, we should get going" Jae says, after looking at his watch,

"Where are you headed?" Wonpil asks,

"Catching a movie." Jae answers, and Eunyi gets up from the barstool, and waves a goodbye to the boys.

Jae outstretches his hand and Eunyi's fingers intertwine with his, and Wonpil giggles like a little girl.

"Nothing's funny," Jae and Eunyi say in unison and Wonpil starts to question of this is scripted.

"You guys are a good looking couple," Brian comments, and they both say in tandem

"Thanks to me.", and then again in unison,

"Stop copying me."

"I'm not copying you, you're unoriginal," Eunyi says as they start walking towards the exit,

"Excuse me, I'm an author" Jae says,

"Your books arent that great,"

"Yeah, okay, please tell that to the 3.7 million people that bought a copy of my latest novel," he argues with laughter and then the two are off, hand in hand

The 3 watch as the couple is followed by some people with their phones out.

"She's pretty." Sungjin comments,

"Yeah.." Brian says as he nods, and wonders if something true, and positive could maybe come out of this mess. 

But something deep inside him is telling him that part of him doesn't want that to happen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please comment any thoughts, I'd love to know! thank you for reading. <3


	12. Crazy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> twitter: @zenkrcovers | kakao: zenaya  
> feel free to message me on either, I'd love to make MyDay friends! :D

"Doesn't it annoy you?" Jae asks,

"What?" Eunyi replies.

They're walking, still hand in hand as Jae uses his free hand to hold their popcorn and Eunyi holds their soda, as they make their way to the theatre.

"The cameras that follow us, the people that can't mind their own business."

"I mean, I don't mind it that much.. But I swear if they disrupt our movie," Eunyi replies, shaking her head at her last words.

Jae laughs lightly at her little pout, and she smiles in response.

"Excited?" 

"Oh yeah, definitely." Eunyi replies as they're entering the dark theatre,

"I'm surprised, I thought you'd want to watch a chick-flick," 

"Not when Deadpool is showing.C'mon, are you saying you'd rather watch a cheesy rom-com?" 

"Nope, most definitely would not prefer that." Jae replies with a smile as they sit down.

"Wait, why is there only one drink?" Jae asks,

"There's 2 straws, calm down"

"No, but we could've gotten our own.."

"I'm not paying for another drink!" Eunyi half whispers, half yells, with a smile to show Jae she's not actually getting upset.

"If you're that uncomfortable, and don't want to share a drink, go buy one" she suggests,

"I might miss the previews.." Jae says, pouting slightly and Eunyi just laughs.

"Then, _boyfriend_ ," she jokes,

"It's not that big of a deal sharing a drink... Especially since we have our own straws."

"I mean I guess..." the latter says, rolling his eyes jokingly as he laughs with Eunyi.

When the movie starts, Jae kind of admires the way the light from the screen catches Eunyi's bright smiles. She's thoroughly enjoying the movie, laughing whenever reasonable and Jae laughs too. 

She was right, sharing a drink isn't that big of a deal, and Jae doesn't seem to even regard it, too busy laughing at the movie. 

Eunyi's laugh is melodic, and it's pleasant. Jae finds himself laughing or smiling whenever she does, as if it's contagious.

Jae has never been one to have a specific gender preference. 

He thinks that, whoever he falls for, he falls for. Their gender isn't that huge of a factor when he thinks about liking someone. He just happened to like Younghyun for a long time, and he just happened to be a boy. 

He wonders if maybe this is an opportunity to try and get over Younghyun. There's no guarantee that Brian will get his memories back, and even if he does, there's no guarantee that they would have a happily ever after.

"Did you like the movie?" Eunyi's excited question cuts off Jae's thoughts and Jae scoffs before replying,

"All I heard was your annoying laugh," he jokes and Eunyi pretends to be offended,

"I hope you get quoted on the news for being mean to me," she says and sticks out her tongue,

"The people in the theatre will vouch for me" 

"And the people hearing our conversation right now will vouch for me," Eunyi replies, and Jae smiles.

"Oh! There's an arcade!" she exclaims, and lets go of Jae's hand to run to the part of the cineplex that's illuminated by colourful, neon lights.

"Wow," Jae says sarcastically, walking towards Eunyi who's already waiting to buy some tokens,

"Didn't know I was dating a 6 year-old," 

"Didn't know I was dating a guy in his 80's who can't have a little fun," Eunyi replies,

"Please," Jae says as he reaches her side,

"I can beat you at any game, any day,"

"Is that a challenge?" she asks, a daring smile on her face and Jae just shrugs,

"Geez, she can read between the lines.. Impressive," Jae jokes and Eunyi laughs,

"What're we betting on?"

"You lost me, when did we agree to bet?"

"You brought it upon yourself when you challenged me" she replies, wiggling her eyebrows, amused,

"Why, scared you're gonna lose?" Eunyi taunts, and Jae scoffs,

"You're gonna be the one losing,"

"Then, loser buys dinner," she suggests,

"In other words, _you're_ buying dinner." Jae replies,

"Oh, it's on~" Eunyi says and Jae laughs.

The plan goes as follows, they're going to play everything in the arcade, whoever wins the most is the winner, simple.

And following that plan is how the two waste almost 4 hours at the relatively small arcade.

"Told you."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. Just choose what you want for dinner,"

"Hmm," Jae thinks for a bit, a triumphant smile on his face as he holds the various stuffed animals and prizes in his arms.

"I know a place,"

"It better not be too expensive,"

"Oh, don't worry.. It's just, like, $100 per serving?" Jae jokes as they get into his car, Jae throwing the prizes in the back before jogging to open Eunyi's door.

"Oh why, thank you~" she says with a joking smile, as she gets in

"The cameras might be watching." Jae answers as he pretends to slam the door on her leg, making her flinch but they both laugh it off.

The car ride involves Eunyi singing, more accurately screaming, to whatever happens to play on the radio, and Jae can't help but laugh. The windows are rolled down, and it's a pretty chilly night, but for some reason neither of them are cold. 

Eunyi takes the aux. chord and plugs in her phone, and starts playing some chill, R&B songs and just relaxes for a bit, watching and appreciating the scenery blur past as the night breeze runs through her hair. And Jae's so focused on the road that he doesn't notice the gaze Eunyi's staring at him with.

They park and get out of the car, to be greeted with a classic diner. Eunyi looks up at the red neon sign, and smiles, but then shivers as the cold of the night eventually hits them. 

Jae slips off his sweater and puts it over Eunyi,

"I have a long sleeve underneath, so take it," he says,

"Gross, it's weird when you're nice," she replies, smiling

"Never know when cameras are on us," Jae replies as he extends his hand and Eunyi slips her fingers between his.

They enter the diner, and ignore the buzz of whispers that start once they walk in. They seat themselves, and receives some menus, and Eunyi's face lights up at the selection and cheap prices,

"How do you know about this place?"

"Uh," Jae starts,

"My friend and I used to come by here whenver we went out late at night. It was the perfect, long drive and we would just be sitting on top of our car, eating and talking..."

_Younghyun's loud laughter disappears into the night as Jae takes another fry,_

_"Man, I love this place," he says and Jae smiles,_

_"Yeah, it's nice..."_

_"Hey, I think there's a hair in my burger," Younghyun says and Jae looks over,_

_"No, see, closer," he says and Jae brings his head closer,_

_"I don't see anyth-"_

_Jae's words are cut off when he gets a face full of Younghyun's burger._

_"Seriously?"_

_Jae asks, clearly unamused, and Younghyun can't take him seriously with all the mustard, ketchup and mayonnaise on his face, and Younghyun only laughs more when a pickle falls of Jae's face._

_"Younghyun, you know I'm allergic to freakin' mustard seeds!"_

_"Oh crap, are you really?" Younghyun stops laughing and makes his way back to Jae's side and takes his face in his hands,_

_"Gotcha," Jae says as he shoves his own burger in the other's face._

_And it's a mess of fries, pieces of burger and laughter in the night as the immature boys refuse to stop the food fight._

_It ends in a kiss that tastes like mustard, and Jae's thankful he's not actually allergic to it, as he smiles halfway through the kiss and Younghyun does the same._

"What're you gonna get?" Eunyi asks, as the server is there to take their order

"Just a double cheeseburger, fries and some Coke"

"Then, we'll have 2 of those, please" Eunyi says and hands the menus back to the waitor.

"Your sweater is comfortable," she comments,

"Might just steal it once this is all over," she jokes and Jae smiles,

"Nope, you can't. Not you too,"

"Who else steals your sweaters?" Eunyi asks, and notices Jae's smile falter, and the hesitation so she decides,

"Nevermind, sorry for asking.."

"No, it's fine, it was just a friend of mine."

"That look on your face doesn't say 'just a friend' to me," she replies, and Jae's about to explain when the diner door opens and Jae hears a familiar laugh.

Out of all the diners, restaurants, practically anywhere to eat, within their vicinity, of course it'd just have to be here.

In walks Brian and Minri, the latters hand around her shoulders as they walk in, and go to sit at a table, but spot Jae.

"Oh!" Minri says and smiles and waves, and Jae does the same in return.

Brian watches as Minri jogs to Jae's table and says,

"Oh, are you on a date?"

"Uh, yeah" he answers,

"Brian and I were on one too, do you mind if we sit with you guys?" Minri asks, and Jae just looks at Eunyi, as if hoping she'd say no, but she just shrugs with a smile.

"Min, c'mon, don't do that, they're on a date" Brian says, finally making his way to her side,

"No, no, we don't mind" Eunyi finally speaks, with a smile and it's Jae's turn to shrug.

Minri sits beside Eunyi and Jae sends her an apologetic look, as Brian makes his way beside Jae.

The girls are talking, introducing themselves and then Minri asks,

"So, how did you 2 meet?"

Jae and Eunyi look at each other, and are both thankful that their food comes when it does because it gives Jae time to whisper to Brian,

"You didn't tell Minri the circumstances?"

"Didn't have time, it slipped my mind." he whispers back,

"Well," Eunyi starts, 

"We met at the cafe where Brian works at, actually" she lies and Jae watches as she makes up the story of their first meeting, completely different than the reality of them meeting in an office with Jae's manager and publisher.

"We both had ordered an Iced Americano, but when Brian called for it, we both went up and grabbed it at the same time." she says, laughing and Jae's almost amazed at her acting,

"It was the cliché, 'you take it first', 'no, please, you take it first', and then I took it," Eunyi explains,

"But I waited at the counter until his came, just chatting, and I guess the rest is history." she says.

Jae almost says 'wow', his lips slightly parted in both amusement, and amazement. Eunyi sends him a wink and mischievous smile as Eunyi cooes at the completely made up story, and Brian sends him an impressed look.

"Hey, you guys should order" Jae says and Brian and Minri do exactly that. 

The 4 of them talk, and Jae notices the way Eunyi isn't awkward at all. She's talking as if she's been friends with them longer than Jae has so there's no uncomfortable pauses. 

"Sorry for intruding on your date," Brian says as they're all eating,

"No it's fine, it's cool seeing you here though," Jae answers, and Brian's about to answer when Eunyi interrupts with a,

"Oh!" 

Jae looks to see his hoodie with ketchup decorating it,

"Shoot, sorry Jae" Eunyi immediately apologizes and reaches for tissues, but the baggy sleeve drags across her burger, staining the arm.

"Oh my God, I-I'm sorry,"

"It's fine, it's fine," Jae says and gets up to help her with the ketchup on the sleeves and the front of the sweater.

"Oh man, you suck at arcade games and you're clumsy..." Jae jokes while shaking his head and Eunyi smiles,

"Here, let's go to the washroom and try to get some of the stains out while it's still fresh," Minri suggests and then her and Eunyi are off.

Jae watches as the girls scurry to the washroom, 

"Is that your sweater?" Brian asks,

"Yeah."

"Gotta admit, they are really comfortable,"

"Yeah, I know.. I'm the one that buys them." Jae replies and they laugh.

"So, how is she?"

"Eunyi? She's... She's actually great. Watched Deadpool earlier, and totally beat her at the arcade,"

"Oh c'mon, man, you should've let her win,"

"What, no! She was talking big, and I didn't want to pay for dinner," Jae replies,

"You know nothing about girlfriends" Brian's tongue slips, and then realizes his words after.

"Well, yeah... Can't argue with you there. Considering multiple circumstances," Jae replies,

"Sorry.."

"Don't be, you're right" Jae laughs a bit, but it doesn't make Brian feel any better.

"Hey, how'd you find out about this place?"

"Hm? Oh, I don't know.. We were driving by, and the sense of déjà vu just got to me. Since we were both hungry, we decided to just come here," he replies,

"Why?"

"We used to eat here a lot, and I mean _a lot_ " Jae says, not hesitating considering Minri and Eunyi weren't around to hear,

"Really?"

"I mean, the fact that you recognized the place is kind of comforting."

It's quiet for a bit, and then Brian says,

"Hey, I have a question."

"You always do. Is it just with me?" Jae says, and Brian thinks a bit before nodding,

"Yeah, I guess."

"Okay, shoot,"

"Would you help me get my memories back?"

"What do you mean?" Jae asks,

"Just, if I had questions, would you answer them?"

"Have been,"

"If I asked you to come with me to places we used to visit, would you?"

"We're at one right now," Jae replies,

"If I asked you for a favour, would you comply?"

"It depends, but I would try."

"Why are you asking all of these questions all of a sudden?" Jae asks and Brian's gonna answer but the girls return.

Eunyi is shaking her sleeves in an attempt to dry them and Jae smiles,

"Ok, wet dog, getting water all over me," he jokes and Brian watches the way Eunyi just shakes the sleeve even more and laughs and Jae shielding his face,

"So," Minri says,

"How do you guys feel about the fame?"

"Burdened." Jae replies, and Eunyi nods in agreement,

"But, I guess I signed up for it once I started dating a famous author," she says,

"Do you regret it?" Brian asks, and it sounds a little harsh, so he adds a curious smile to make it less intense,

"Nope," she replies,

"He's a pretty cool dude." Eunyi adds as she looks at Jae and her smile is just as true as her words.

"You called me a loser earlier," Jae argues, causing the 4 of them to laugh.

The group is enjoying their milkshakes, and Jae wonders if they ordered them just so that they could stay and talk longer. 

"Hey, can I ask something" Eunyi says and Jae becomes worried,

"Did you two," she starts, gesturing between Jae and Minri,

"Have something going on?"

And Minri and Jae both almost choke on their milkshakes,

"W-what? No," Jae answers,

"Why would you ask that?" he says, and Minri giggles at how straight forward Eunyi is.

"I don't know, it's just, when they walked in, you looked a bit sad and hesitant, that's all" she replies and takes a sip of her milkshake.

Jae's quiet as he wonders how Eunyi can notice the slightest detail within him, and Brian pretends like he doesn't know why Jae would feel a bit sad upon seeing them.

"No, we didn't date or talk, or anything" Minri says and Eunyi nods,

"Maybe those two did," Minri jokes, pointing at Brian and Jae, and the girls' laughter masks the awkward chuckle that escapes Jae's lips, and distracts them from seeing the way Brian looks at Jae.

Thankfully, the subject changes, and Brian observes Eunyi. She talks so comfortably to both him, and Minri, and most of all, Jae, and Brian hates the way he can't hate Eunyi.

But only subconsciously.

Everything involving Jae and emotions seems to only be subconscious when it comes to Brian, as if he's only feeling this way because of the past he has yet to remember.

"Yeah, tonight was great! We should definitely do another double-date soon," Minri says and Eunyi just smiles and nods, unsure of when this whole deal with Jae will come to an end.

"See you guys soon," Jae says as the couples split to go to their respective cars. 

"She's nice," Minri says to Brian as they get in their car,

"Yeah,"

"Her and Jae are so cute, they're always playing around and joking," 

"Minri's nice," Eunyi says,

"Mhm, nicer than you" Jae replies, and Eunyi laughs

"So, you two really didn't have anything?"

"No! I'm serious! I swear, I only met her through Brian," 

"You had some like tension, though," Eunyi says but then shrugs,

"Hey, can we just... not? Please?" Jae asks, and Eunyi knows from his voice that he's not in the mood to joke,

"Sorry." she says.

The drive back is kind of awkward, but that doesn't stop Eunyi from singing and Jae from smiling again.

"You have a nice smile," she comments,

"What? No, shut up," he says, laughing and Eunyi laughs too,

"No, seriously! You do."

"Thanks, you do too."

"Yeah, I know.." 

It's quiet before Jae scoffs, and Eunyi laughs,

"I hate you," he jokes and then finds himself joining in on the singing, as they continue driving.

They get to Eunyi's apartment, and to Eunyi's surprise, Jae gets out when she does. 

He opens the backseat doors, and grabs the biggest teddy bear he can find,

"Here," he says and Eunyi's grateful it's dark because she knows the endless teasing that would come if Jae noticed her slightly rosy cheeks.

"Think of it as a participation prize," and Eunyi laughs as she accepts the bear,

"I'll beat you next time,"

"Oh, there's going to be a next time?" Jae jokes and Eunyi nods,

"Then," he says, getting back into his car,

"It's a date."

"Hey, can you do me a favour?"

It's been only a few days since the unplanned double date. Jae doesn't know how it happened, but he's chilling in Brian's apartment, they're both sitting comfortably on the couch.

They've been talking about trivial things for about an hour now, and Jae's wondering why Brian texted him to chill today, and maybe now he'll get his answer.

"Yeah, sure, what is it?" Jae replies, before taking a sip of his water.

And Brian's response has Jae choking on that sip of water; as well as thinking he's clearly not in his right mind. 

He's crazy, he's joking, he spiked his own drink with alcohol or drugs. 

But Jae thinks that he, himself, is just as crazy because he can't help but feel a bit happy when Brian says,

"Kiss me."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please comment any thoughts, I'd love to know! thank you for reading. <3


	13. If

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> twitter: @zenkrcovers | kakao: zenaya  
> feel free to message me on either, I'd love to make MyDay pals! :D

Jae's phone goes off just as he's entering Brian's slightly familiar apartment.

**eunyi: wanna chill today? or just meet up, i wanna give back your sweater.**

**Jae takes advantage of the time as he waits for the elevator, and types a reply**

**jae: yeah, sure. hey, I'm about to hang out with Brian right now, I'll text you later, yeah?**

**eunyi: ok, cya loser :)**

Jae laughs a bit at her response, but looks up from his phone once he hears the elevator ding.

Brian had texted Jae the night before, asking to chill at his apartment for a while, and Jae had no real reason to reject that offer. Brian said he had something to ask, and that's how Jae ended up sitting on his couch.

They're side by side, and lack of distance isn't that uncomfortable.

"The doctor said I could try doing things I used to do to jog my memory," Brian informs after they've been talking for a few hours now.

"Trip to Canada wasn't helpful, huh?"

"Nope," Brian answers and looks into Jae's eyes,

"Still can't remember you."

"So, what's it like having a girlfriend?" Brian asks,

"New. Different..." Jae answers after thinking for a bit,

"She's a lot cooler than I expected, to be honest. She's hilarious, tells mean jokes and doesn't get offended when I say some back," he continues,

"Does she make you feel the same way I made you feel?" is a question that Jae doesn't expect.

"Sorry if this sounds rude," Jae doesn't directly answer,

"But, when did you get so curious?"

Brian tilts his head slightly, which is a signal for Jae to elaborate,

"When did you start asking so many questions? I mean, props to you for always asking them, but.. Why do you want to know all these things?"

"Do you find it annoying?"

"That wasn't my point, Brian" Jae assures with a slight smile, and Brian answers,

"I guess ever since I found out for sure I was Younghyun. It doesn't help that I still talk to you, and it's just hard not to question the fact that our lives are intertwined in more ways than just you and I, you and _Brian..._ You know?"

Jae just nods, slightly thankful that Brian's previous question had drifted away from topic, because he wouldn't know how to reply. Because he doesn't know how Eunyi makes him feel, because he's not thinking about that when he's with her.

"Hey," Brian breaks the silence,

"Can you do me a favour?"

"Yeah, sure, what is it?" Jae asks. 

Expecting something along the lines of 'can you pass me the remote in front of you' or maybe, 'can you pass that throw pillow beside you'.

But that's not what he's asked for. Instead, Brian's favour comes out as,

"Kiss me."

And he's frozen in disbelief. He doesn't want to smile, but the thought of even reconnecting lips makes him happy, but Jae knows it's not that same.

So, he does something similar.

Jae laughs a bit before saying,

"C'mon, Brian..." he scoffs,

"You're joking, right?"

"Maybe it'll help me remember-"

"Brian, you have a girlfriend." he reminds,

"That didn't stop you the previous 2 times," his tongue slips and Jae goes quiet.

Brian bites his bottom lip, regretting his words and he swears he's never seen Jae so uncomfortable. Jae doesn't know how to reply. The 2 previous times, Brian didn't ask for Jae's lips against his, but yet the one time Brian's asking, Jae has never felt so hesitant in his life. 

He's trying to think rationally, but the fact that Brian asked isn't helping.

So, he doesn't know what, but something possesses him to say,

"You're going to regret it." 

And he doesn't process the lack of distance between them until Brian says,

"Don't make me,"

It's as if things happen in slow motion, yet at the same time, all at once.

The closing of the distance between them, the chaotic thoughts yet complete silence of the room, the soft touch of their lips. 

But Brian's more focused on the fact that he remembers something like this.

He doesn't know what he was expecting; maybe a total flood of every forgotten scene to come back to him, but it's nothing like that.

It's simply a fragment of what has been lost.

But it's something.

It's the memory of them in the same position, but somewhere completely different. 

Jae's hair is a little shorter, face a little more of full of youth, at least that's what he looks like in this memory playing back in Brian's mind. 

And no, it's not just a flashback to one of the previous times that Jae had kissed him. 

Because in his mind, Jae's wearing a red flannel over a white plain tee. They're at some carnival-

It's not just 'some' carnival, actually.

It's their school fair, Brian recalls.

It was their senior year, and it was in October. Their highschool always had some fair near the beginning of the year, but Brian remembers this. 

The first time they had kissed. 

He remembers them playing some ring toss, and Jae was surprisingly a master at all the games offered at the booths, which resulted in Brian going home with multiple stuffed toys which, at the time, wasn't that big of a deal to his parents.

Brian also remembers the few moments after that, the broad smile on Jae's face and his little,

"Finally," that he says as he leans on his shoulder to watch the rest of the fireworks. 

When Brian finally opens his eyes, he notices that Jae already pulled away, looking the other way in the futile attempt to hide his blushing cheeks.

"I remember," is the first thing he says and Jae rolls his eyes,

"Yeah right Brian-" 

"When was the first time we kissed?" Brian asks, and Jae just flushes a deeper red,

"W-why are you-"

"Jae, now is not the time to be all flustered, can you just please answer?" Brian says as if he's in a rush.

Because he's scared.

He's scared for multiple reasons, though. He's scared that maybe it was just some fabrication of his mind that wasn't a true moment of his lost past. But, the reason he's basically rushing is because he's scared that if he doesn't confirm it fast enough, the memory is going to slip away again. 

"At our school fair..."

Brian can't help but smile at that information,

"Brian, I doubt kissing you actually-"

"What were you wearing?" he interrupts and Jae's quiet for a bit before answering,

"A red flannel with,"

"A plain white tee underneath," Brian finishes his sentence.

Jae's still not convinced,

"That's predictable because you know my style,"

"You said 'finally' after, and you completely dominated at ring toss..." Brian says, almost fondly and he never realizes how happy Jae made him back then.

There's a natural smile on his face as Jae doesn't know how to react, something about this being thrilling, yet depressing at the same time.

"I don't remember anything else though..." Brian finally sobers up from the excitement.

It's quiet and Jae's just trying not to get his hopes up that Brian will remember everything.

"Kiss me again," is what breaks the long silence.

"What? No!" Jae refuses,

"C'mon, maybe it'll jog-"

"Brian, enough. Seriously." Jae deadpans and Brian stops.

"Sorry.." he says.

And for the first time, Jae doesn't say 'don't be'.

"For the, what feels like, hundredth time, you have a girlfriend,"

"I know that,"

"So don't ask me to kiss you again. Don't do anything that might toy with feelings,"

"But, I know I have a girlfriend, and my feelings are-"

"What about mine?!" Jae snaps,not even letting him finish, and Brian only now realizes how selfish he's been.

"You're not the only one involved in the kiss, Brian. It's not just you whose lips are touching someone else's... And you may have your feelings in check but when you ask me to do things like this it's hard, for me." he says, and Brian doesn't respond because he knows Jae's not done yet,

"You-You can't just ask me to kiss you and expect me not to harbour any feelings... When you do shit like this, it just blurs all the lines, it knocks down the walls I've built to separate you and Younghyun.." Jae gives a defeated sigh as he looks at Brian with eyes glistened over with tears of just too much raw emotion flowing out at once.

"Jae..." Brian tries comforting,

"I'm sorry.. I-I just got too excited that I remembered, and didn't think before speaking..."

Jae's phone goes off, and Jae feels as if it's a blessing to save them from this awkward situation. He looks at his phone, and is almost relieved when he reads,

**eunyi: yoyoyo, i wanted some coffee, so i stopped by the cafe and i'll just wait for you here! come whenever**

And apparently his brain processes 'whenever' as 'now', and he says,

"I gotta go meet Eunyi,"

Brian just nods because he doesn't feel comfortable asking Jae to stay, because it's not his place.

Jae gets up from the couch and leaves the apartment.

And he's glad he left when he did, because he passes Minri in the hall and Jae forces a smile,

"Oh, hey Jae!" she says, happily and Jae replies,

"Hey Min,"

"Hanging out with Bri?" she asks,

"Yeah, just leaving to go meet Eunyi,"

"Oh, okay. Is Bri still in there?" and just then, they both turn their heads toward the end of the hall when they hear the almost desperate sound of a door opening and Brian's voice saying, 

"Jae!"

He immediately sees Minri who's looking at him curiously, and Brian makes things vague, saying

"Thanks for today," 

But Jae's flustered and slightly angered expression only makes Minri more curious,

"No problem," he manages to say, and flashes Minri another smile before leaving, his steps a little quicker than before.

Brian's eyes follow Jae's hurrying figure, his unsaid words still lingering on his tongue, but then Minri comes into focus.

"Thanks for what?" she asks as they both enter their apartment,

"He helped me with something," Brian replies 

"Hmm, I see," Minri says and places a chaste kiss on Brian's lips, and he doesn't necessarily hate the way it reminds him of Jae.

"Did I make you wait too long?" Jae says when he sees Eunyi.

"Hell yeah!" she replies, her expression angry and Jae almost apologizes before she gives him a sincere smile and laugh,

"Just kidding, didn't wait too long." 

Jae finds himself smiling as Eunyi passes him an Iced Americano,

"You look like you need one," she says and Jae gladly accepts, and takes a quick sip, as if trying to get Brian's taste out of his mouth.

Truth be told, Jae didn't want to go to the cafe. He just wanted to go home and curl up in a ball, shut himself out for a while, but he felt like he couldn't just leave Eunyi waiting.

"How are you?" she asks, and Jae thinks for a while.

Eunyi usually sees right throug him, so it's a matter of lying and trying to play it off, or telling the unnecessary truth.

"Crappy," Jae replies.

Eunyi takes a sip of his Americano, having already finished hers while waiting

"Seems like it." Jae just nods, and Eunyi continues,

"Do you wanna talk about it?" 

And before Jae replies, she says,

"I mean, we don't have to, but... Just to let you know, I'm here for you," and her warm smile is both comforting and almost dangerous.

But, in regards to the question Jae just lets it pass. Reason being, it would've been difficult to explain to his 'girlfriend', although fake, that he doesn't know how to, or if he even should get over some guy.

"Thanks," is what he says instead, and takes a sip of his drink, and Eunyi looks at him amused,

"You made such a big deal about sharing a drink, but not about sharing a straw... Weird,"

Jae came to the realization of the truth about her statement, but decides he has other things to care about at this point, so he shrugs.

"Cameras," he says and Eunyi rolls her eyes.

"C'mon, let's go" she says, getting up and Jae just looks at her, his eyes saying 'I just sat down!',

"Where to?" 

"Surprise," is Eunyi's answer, because she doesn't really know herself.

"I don't trust you," he replies with a joking smile,

"Smart boy"

And they both laugh at Eunyi's comment.

Jae follows her anyway, ignoring the excited whispers of fangirls that watch them leave the cafe.

"Care to tell me where we're off to now?" Jae says, slightly irritated considering they've been walking for quite some time.

"You'll see in the distance, soon" Eunyi replies, and gives him a smile. 

And she's right.

Beyond the tall buildings that were becoming scarce, Jae could see the almost terrifyingly tall structures that looped around, and it was if he could almost hear the screams of amusement.

"We're going to an amusement park?" 

"Laughter is the best medicine, no?" Eunyi says and then continues,

"Figured you could use some distraction and fun"

She looks into the distance, and gets excited,

"Come on!" she says and grabs Jae's hand and starts running, and Jae finds himself smiling. 

The amusement park isn't that packed today, surprisingly. Eunyi pays for his admission pass, much to Jae's dismay, but she insists that today is her treat. They get some food at the vendors, and start looking for a few rides.

And it's fun.

Eunyi's intention of distraction is succeeding, and for a while Jae completely forgets what had happened earlier that day.

That is until, Eunyi points something out, interrupting their laughter,

"Oh!" Jae looks at her curiously,

"Isn't that Brian and Minri?"

His line of sight follows the direction Eunyi's finger is pointing to, and lo and behold, there they are, holding hands and smiling, but Brian doesn't look completely happy.

They make eye contact, and Jae feels the sudden need to get on a ride,

"Oh! Eunyi!" Minri is the first to make contact, and Jae groans internally, while Eunyi greets Minri with the same enthusiasm and happiness

"Hi!" she says, and Brian finally reaches them, awkwardly nodding at Jae, who does the same

"Gosh, we're always catching you on your dates!" Minri comments, and Jae chuckles, almost painfully,

"Yeah, what a coincidence" and his tone of voice just barely escapes sarcasm,

Eunyi gives him a curious but also concerned look, while Brian tries to avoid Jae's eyes as naturally as he can. Jae wants to leave, and Minri's question gives them an opportunity to escape,

"Oh, were you guys gonna go on a ride?"

Before Eunyi can answer, Jae says,

"Yeah, we were just about to line up for..." he can't think of a ride so he looks to Eunyi who finishes his sentence,

"The ferris wheel."

Jae tries not to look so mortified at the mention of the ride. He looks at Eunyi, almost begging her to choose a different ride, but her answer made sense considering it was right in their line of sight.

"But Jae hates ferris wheels" Brian says, and Jae looks at him, the surprise not hidden in his expression.

Brian looks at Jae, almost apologetically, and he too seems genuinely surprised at the words that just came out of his mouth.

"Why?" Eunyi asks, and Brian responds habitually,

"Because he got stuck at the top one night for an hour," 

"How do you know what?" Jae asks, almost angry that Brian answered Eunyi's question.

Brian gives a forced smile, and light pat on Jae's arm,

"You told me when we were chilling," 

But Jae knows he didn't mention that story at all. Jae looks at Brian who's chuckling and Jae decides to do the same,

"Oh, well, why didn't you tell me?" Eunyi asks and smiles,

"We can ride something else," she says and Jae takes that offer to leave

"Yeah, let's look around," he takes Eunyi's hand and they start to motion to leave.

But apparently, Minri can't take a hint,

"Oh! Let's go on a ride together," and she takes Brian's hand, and pulls him forward toward the group.

Jae doesn't want to be the douche that rejects her offer, so he just smiles.

"Maybe we shouldn't bug them on their date" Brian says and Minri gives a little pout, but Eunyi doesn't object to that idea. 

"C'mon, let's go get some food, we didn't eat yet" Brian urges,

"Okay," Minri finally gives in,

"We'll meet up with you guys later!" she says and Jae and Eunyi give her a smile and wave, watching as the couple walks away and Jae's slightly irritated that Brian doesn't even look back.

It's quiet for a while, before Eunyi snorts,

"Ew," Jae says, jokingly,

"What was that?" he asks as Eunyi begins to laugh,

"You got stuck in a ferris wheel?"

"Okay, it sounds ridiculous now, but at that time I swear to you, I thought I was gonna die"

"Was it on fire?" Eunyi asks through her laughter,

"Well, no" Jae admits,

"But after an hour, your brain resorts to the worst case scenario"

"Okay, fine" Eunyi surrenders, her laugh fading and then the mood gets a bit serious.

"You okay?" she asks, slightly surprising Jae.

He starts to wonder about the numerous times Eunyi has surprised him, not the average girl he concludes. 

"Yeah, fine" he answers, and decides to urge her towards the rides

"Let's go to this one, the line up is short!" he says, sincere excitement in his voice that masks the underlying curiosity about Brian.

The day at the amusement park was a nice escape, Jae concludes. They didn't run into Brian and Minri after that, thankfully. So, Eunyi and Jae just went about their day, trying out several foods and going on different rides that consisted of 'manly' screams, Jae would argue, and Eunyi wishing she took an audio recording.

He's currently at his own apartment, in front of his laptop, smiling at something on his screen.

"What're you looking at?" Wonpil asks, coming up behind Jae to see the reason for his grin.

Wonpil's slightly surprised at the image on the screen, or more accurately images.

Jae's looking at a fan site who happened to catch him and Eunyi on their "date" today, and the candid shots are beautiful, Wonpil admits.

Wonpil gives him a curious look,

"Don't we look cute?" Jae asks, and Wonpil doesn't know how to respond,

"I mean, you completely ruin the picture, but-"

Jae gives him a playful smack on the arm, and Wonpil laughs.

"Yeah.." he says while nodding,

"Yeah, you two do look cute," Wonpil gives a sincere answer.

He looks at the time on Jae's laptop and starts collecting his coat, phone and keys,

"I'll get going now, see you later!" Wonpil says,

"Have fun at Sungjin's!" Jae yells, and Wonpil just laughs, not bothering to deny it at this point.

Wonpil closes the door, and Jae jogs to lock it shortly afterward.

It's later in the night, and Jae's still on his laptop, writing some one shot, the screen illuminating his fairly dark bedroom. 

But then his phone goes off.

Jae expects it to be Wonpil asking for a ride home since him and Sungjin both had something to drink, or maybe just to talk. But it's not.

**brian: hey, you busy?**

Is what is on his screen. 

Jae tosses his phone to the side, and continues typing away, but the several typos and loss of train of thought that follow is enough for him to grab his phone and type a reply.

**jae: not really, what's up?**

Despite him replying a few minutes later, it takes only a few seconds for Brian to answer

**brian: just wanted to know if you could talk...**

Jae's not sure if he wants to, considering the out come this morning, but he figures since they're not in the same room, it's fine.

**jae: yeah sure. something wrong?**

**brian: no no nothings wrong... its just i wanted to say sorry about today.**

Jae stares at the message, not knowing what to type but then another message from Brian rings in,

**brian: sorry for being inconsiderate and also about the situation at the park. it just slipped out**

And then Jae remembers Brian's comment about the ferris wheel. Suddenly, he's not concerned about Brian's apology, instead his reply reads

**jae: you remembered more didnt you??**

It takes Brian a bit longer than it did previously to reply,

**brian: yeah**

**jae: how much?**

**brian: not all, i think. just bits and pieces**

Jae thinks for a bit, and then writes back

**jae: so whatre you gonna do about it?**

Brian types for a while, Jae assumes he writes something then deletes it, then writes something else and then deletes that as well. Because it takes him a while to type his short reply of

**brian: what do you want me to do about it?**

Jae stares at his reply for a while. He types,

**jae: if i told you i'd want you to forget it again, i'd be lying. but if i told you to act on those memories i can't see any good coming from it**

Before Jae can read the reply Brian's currently typing up, his phone conveniently dies. 

Jae plugs it in, anxiously waiting for it to turn back on, and when it does, he's quite surprised to see that Brian didn't message him anything yet. 

_Is he still typing? Maybe he needs to resend it since my phone turned off... Or maybe he just couldn't think of what to say-_

Jae thinks, but then his phone goes off. But it's not a message from Brian; it's a text from Eunyi.

**eunyi: did u see the photos of us online? arent we flippin cute?!**

The author catches himself smiling at her cute message and can't help but agree, so he types back

**jae: i'm cuter > you but yeah **

**eunyi: keep lying to yourself lol**

But that message could be taken different ways to Jae. And it's almost irritating that the first meaning he takes from that is to face his true feelings about Younghyun, or Brian, or maybe even both. And his reply is almost an answer to himself rather than Eunyi,

**jae: i will ((:**

Jae decides to just leave his phone for a while, and get back to writing. Figures he needs some practice after all the distractions lately. But then he gets an incoming call, he sighs and gets up from the bed to walk to where his phone is charging, slightly annoyed at how busy his phone's been tonight. 

He answers the call, not really looking at the contact name,

"Hello?"

"Brian?" Jae asks, surprised

"Hey... Do you not have me saved as a contact?" Brian replies, taking in the questioning tone with which Jae said his name,

"No, no I do.. It's just, you stopped texting and then called, so"

"What? Did you not get my message?" he says, and Jae checks just to be sure

"Nope,"

"I called because I thought you were mad at my response.."

"What did it say?"

"Nothing bad, that's why I was scared- yeah?" 

Jae hears a voice in the background, looks at the time, and concludes it's Minri

"It's just Jae... Yeah, yeah I'll sleep soon," Brian says, and Jae just remains quiet.

"What did your text say?"

"It said that I'll wait."

Jae's silence causes Brian to talk again,

"I'll wait until I remember everything then I'll decide what to do,"

"What if you-"

"I'll stop with the if's for now... I'll just believe that I will."

"Will what?" Jae asks, as if only asking to hear it come out of Brian's mouth,

"That I will remember you, all of you. All of us, whatever that means. I'll wait till then"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please comment any thoughts, I'd love to know! thank you for reading <3


	14. Problems

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> twitter: @zenkrcovers | kakao: zenaya  
> feel free to message me on either, I'd love to make MyDay pals :D

"Your usual," Sungjin says, placing the drink in front of Jae.

"Who're you waiting for? Eunyi?" Wonpil asks.

"Brian," Jae answers, and then says a quick thanks to Sungjin. 

"You're like a majority of their monthly income" Wonpil comments as Jae sips his Iced Americano,

"They're welcome then" Jae replies with a smile.

"What're you and Bri doing today?" Sungjin asks,

"Just chilling, I guess..."

"You guys have been hanging out a lot more recently

"Well, it's not my fault you stole my best friend" Jae argues and Sungjin just smiles as he wraps an arm around Wonpil's shoulder,

"Hey, no flirting with the customers!" Brian's voice interrupts their friendly conversation, his tone faking anger.

They turn to face the young man who just entered the cafe, and Jae habitually smiles.

Brian walks up to them, resting an arm on Jae's shoulder as he takes a sip of his drink,

"Hey, I paid for that"

"Employees aren't supposed to drink customers' drinks" Sungjin orders back, and Brian just laughs.

"I'm actually surprised I haven't been fired, yet"

"Me too" Jae agrees, snatching his drink back before getting up,

"Let's get going," Brian informs and Wonpil just eyes them a bit, concerned yet also curious.

"Yeah, yeah"

"Where are you guys going?" Sungjin asks what his boyfriend was thinking

"Just going around the town," Jae answers, walking to Brian's side who is slowly making his way to the exit, 

"Have fun," Wonpil says

"Yeah, yeah" the author repeats and Wonpil just rolls his eyes. The same eyes follow the 2 figures who are conversing closely, already forgotten about Wonpil and Sungjin and heading out into to the town that awaits them.

"Have you seen Minri lately?" Wonpil asks Sungjin, but his eyes are still set on the bodies that are becoming distant.

"No, not really. Why?" 

"Just wondering," he says, then returns his focus to his boyfriend's face.

"Worried about another man's girlfriend rather than _your_ man?"

Wonpil laughs but also cringes at the way Sungjin just spoke, but he also thinks about who he's really worried about. 

"Jealous?"

"Nah," Sungjin replies,

"Min's got nothing on me,"

"Okay, I'm going to need you to stop speaking like that, please" Wonpil says, chuckling,

"Your smile says otherwise"

And the couple is about to share a sweet quick kiss when a slightly irritated woman clears her throat,

"Oh! Right, sorry, your order will be ready shortly"

"So, where're we going?"

"You tell me," Brian says,

"I don't know" 

"Well, that's slightly boring," and the two laugh.

They're walking the streets of their old little town, and Jae says,

"I mean, I just like being with you I never really think about a destination," 

Brian doesn't respond immediately so Jae adds,

"Sorry, that probably made you feel awkward,"

"No, no,it's not that...." but Brian doesn't know exactly what it is. 

Since Brian doesn't continue and clarify what it was, Jae just laughs, and Brian does the same.

Within the laughter, Jae's phone goes off,

"Yo, Eunyi?" he says, curious because they've never really been ones to share a phone call. Brian looks at him curiously, unable to hear what Eunyi says on the other line.

"W-what? Hey, hey... Calm down, where are you?" Jae says, a concerned and rushed tone to his voice and that signals to Brian that something isn't right.

"Okay, okay. Calm down, I'll be there soon, okay? Everything'll be fine, just wait for me," 

Jae quickly hangs up the phone and looks at Brian,

"Is she okay?" 

"Uh, I-I don't know" Jae manages to spit out.

It seems like the panic transferred from Eunyi to Jae, and Brian just maintains his concerned expression,

"Hey, sorry but could I get a rain check on today?" Jae says, searching his pockets for his car keys, and Brian just says,

"Yeah, yeah, of course"

"Sorry, but I think she really needs me right now"

"Text me if she's okay," Brian says, even though he doesn't know why Eunyi called Jae in the first place.

"Will do. Hey, seriously though, I'll make it up to you," the author says, walking further away from Brian yet not breaking eye contact,

"It's fine! Just hurry up, she doesn't sound like she can or wants to wait much longer"

"Let's hang out again, soon!" is the last thing Jae says and then he's off. 

Brian pulls a little sticky-note out of his pocket, and it has his writing on it. It's a list of things he wanted to do today, with Jae. He crumples it up and tosses it, saying to himself,

"Rain check... Yeah, maybe next time..." 

"Eunyi?" Jae calls out as he gets out of his car, his eyes quickly scanning the waiting room of the hospital. He spots her, but she looks incredibly different.

Eunyi is curled up in the chair, her worried expression tainted her usually happy face, and Jae's heart almost sinks at how small she looks at this moment. Her pupils are shaking, new and old tears staining her cheeks, and her eyes almost look empty.

Until she spots Jae.

She looks up at the tall man that just entered the waiting room, and a wave of relief comes over her, and she almost runs to him. Jae doesn't realize what he did until she's already in his arms, her head on his chest as new tears wet his shirt. He doesn't realize what he's doing until he's already carressing her hair, hushing and comforting her.

"Sorry," she says, looking up at him and wiping his shirt,

"It's fine." he replies.

Since they're close Jae can see a few scratches on Eunyi's face, very little blood streaking parts of her face. 

"Are you okay?" 

"Y-yeah, I'm fine, b-but t-the person-" she's clearly not fine and Jae decides to change the topic.

He sits her down, and calms her so that she's able to tell the story. She describes it as all happening in literally the blink of an eye. One second she's just driving down the road, the next her airbag is activated while two car alarms are going off and she hears bystanders screaming. Eunyi reassures Jae that it wasn't her fault, which causes him to ask

"They hit you? So why aren't you mad?" and it sounds slightly insensitive. 

"I'm scared. I'm worried, even if it wasn't my fault. That's still someone's life, regardless if they were at fault," 

The conversation ends at that, as Eunyi begins worrying about the person that had hit her, completely ignoring her own scratches and minor injuries.

Jae and Eunyi stay long enough to ensure that the person would be okay, and the police tell her they will definitely be in contact. Jae suggests that she gets her minor injuries treated, but she says,

"I don't like the hospital..." and her anxious expression is enough to convince Jae to drive her home. 

But he doesn't just drop her off, she clearly doesn't look like she wants to be alone right now.

And that's the reason they're in Eunyi's house that she shares with 2 other girls. Eunyi says that they're home alone, considering her roommates don't get off from work till way later into the evening. With the help of Eunyi's instruction, Jae makes both of them a cup of tea and sits down beside Eunyi.

She's wrapped in a blanket, slightly rocking back and forth, holding the cup of hot tea close to her face.

"Sorry for calling you," she says.

"I didn't know who else I could call..." 

Jae wonders if Eunyi and her parents are on bad terms,

"It's okay,"

"You were probably busy, weren't you? Sorry" she repeats, and Jae thinks of Brian, but he lies and says,

"No, I wasn't doing anything. Don't apologize"

It's peacefully quiet. Jae has a few questions but the main one being,

"Are you okay?" 

"Yeah..."

"Are you sure?" Jae asks because he's answered the same way without meaning it. 

It takes a while before Eunyi sighs, and it's shaky; so is her voice when she says,

"It was Christmas Eve and I was 18... I was waiting for my parents to come home so we could open presents. It was our family tradition to stay up until midnight and then just rip open the gifts," she says with a sad smile.

She's telling the story slowly, and Jae isn't annoyed at the frequent pauses. Eunyi continues,

"They went to my aunt's house to drop off some gifts, and I didn't want to tag along so I just stayed home, and waited... and waited. Soon enough it was almost 2 AM, and I was obviously worried, but I didn't want to jump to conclusions. But deep down, I think I knew. My aunt's house was only 20 minutes away, and yeah, the roads were relatively bad, but even then, they left at 11 PM to make sure they'd be back."

Jae nods, already predicted where this story was going,

"And then I got a call. Hoping it was my parents, explaining maybe they had busted a tire and that they were going to be home soon." 

Eunyi's crying already, gripping her mug tighter.

"I don't think I'll ever forget the voice of the lady on the other line. Telling me my parents were at the hospital, and that they had been hit by a drunk driver... Tellling me, on Christmas Eve, to visit the hospital, if I could, to see them... And so, I ask my boyfriend, well ex-boyfriend now, I ask him to drive me, and he does. The way the hospital waiting room had people who looked like they had lost hope, their eyes fixated on their shoes, some shaking their legs... I hated it. The white walls and tile floor that didn't provide any comfort, the police waiting outside my parents' room, the paramedics who were the first responders... All of it, still so vivid." 

Jae finds himself wrapping his arm around her, and naturally Eunyi leans against Jae,

"And so at the age of 18, being the only child, I had to plan my parents' funeral alone. The emotional toll afterwards was too much, and my boyfriend broke up with me," she scoffs a bit, 

"What an ass..."

"I agree," Jae comments,

"I-I'm sorry for suddenly telling you all of this... Going back there after getting into an accident myself..." her voice trails off, and Jae decides it's better to not talk, he puts his tea down and simply envelopes her in a hug; a warm tight hug.

"Thank you for picking me up, and coming to the hospital... Seriously, thank you."

Jae rubs her back and nods, resting his chin on the top of her head.

They stay like that for a while, their breathing becomes synced and Eunyi has never felt warmer, or safer. After Eunyi has calmed down, they start talking about the trivial things of life. Treading lightly, Jae asks about her parents, her favourite memories with them. He also says that if they're ever out in public and she sees her ex, that he's definitely going to flaunt her, show him what he missed out on.

Jae ends up staying for hours, and they're still on the couch, sitting on the ends, facing each other. One of Eunyi's roommates comes home, 

"Eunyi?" her roommate says, coming through the door,

"In the living room!" she calls back,

"What's for dinner?- Oh!" her roommate says, surprised to see Jae on the couch,

"Hello~" he says, and Eunyi introduces,

"Jiseo, this is Jae,"

"Yeah, I know, we've read his books..." Jiseo replies and Jae laughs at how cautious she sounds.

"Is your boyfriend staying for dinner?" Jiseo asks, and Eunyi looks at Jae, and Jae shrugs. He ends up staying for dinner, and they order some delivery. Jae ends up meeting her other roommates, and Eunyi appreciates how he's not awkward around them.

Jae leaves the house, making sure Eunyi is okay, and leaving her in the hands of her roommates to take care of the minor cuts and scratches. He drives back to his apartment, and showers and is already in bed ready to sleep when he gets a text. It's just from Eunyi saying,

**eunyi: thank you (:**

It's the next day, and Jae and Eunyi get called to Jinhae's office.

"So, the public has seemingly forgotten that incident involving Jae at the airport." Jinhae informs, and Jae and Eunyi just listen,

"That being said, your relationship can come to an end whenever you want."

Eunyi and Jae's eyes both widen a bit at the thought of a break-up. Then again, they weren't really together to begin with, but it was still a bit shocking that Jinhae suddenly brought it up.

"We already have a story planned ot that will minimize the hate Eunyi will receive," he continues,

"We suggest that you guys aren't seen in public that often anymore, or maybe even have a huge fight at the mall or a restaurant." 

"U-Uh, when would the articles of our break-up be published?" Jae asks,

"Whenever you guys want to end this facade."

The two leave the office after Jinhae discusses a few things with them, minor details about the break-up. They're walking after getting some coffee that doesn't taste the same as Brian and Sungjin's cafe, but it'll do.

"So..." Jae says,

"So..." Eunyi echoes, and the two laugh at how awkward they are.

Jae swears that this atmosphere is more awkward than when they had initially met,

"When do you want to break up?" Jae asks,

"I don't." Eunyi replies and that catches Jae off guard.

"W-wha.. I-"

"Just kidding!" she says with a laugh, but something in her eyes tells Jae that her previous reply was her sincere answer.

"We'll wait and see if it'll happen naturally, you know, a fall out. If not, I think it'd be interesting to do a public fight," Eunyi adds, and begins walking,

"I gotta go meet up with Jiseo, see you later!" and Jae doesn't realize until she's almost out of sight that she didn't really answer his question of when.

Meanwhile, Brian finds himself facing a problem himself.

He enters their apartment, and is about to call out to Min when he hears 2 voice, and he recognizes both of them. 

"Brian?" Minri calls out, and Brian sees her head pop out the side of the door frame leading to the living room, and Brian walks towards the room.

"Hey, Min..." Brian's happy voice trails off when he sees who Minri's sitting beside.

"Brian..." his mom says, and it's awkward as Brian just nods and gives a small wave.

"I'm gonna go change-" is what he says, until he sees what they're looking at. Minri follows Brian's line of sight and says,

"Oh, your mom was showing me the photo album from their wedding..."

Brian looks at the album and then at his mom, as if suspecting her.

"You should've seen the way Minri's eyes lit up when she saw the pictures" Mrs. Kang says, and Minri gives a bashful smile.

"Don't you think she would look flawless in a wedding dress?" she hints and Brian almost scoffs, shocked at his mom's actions. He's about to tell his mom he sees right through her sly act, but then he looks at Minri. She's wearing a hopeful smile, her eyes anticipating his answer,

"Yeah... Yeah, she would."

She smiles, and Mrs. Kang sees the hope in Minri's eyes, and figures her goal was achieved. But, she gives it one last push,

"Wouldn't you say it's almost time?" 

Brian gives her a stern glare,

"Time for you to leave? Yeah, I'd say so."

"Brian," Minri says with disapproval in her voice. His mom simply laughs at her son's act of defiance and says,

"No, no.. He's right, I should get going. See you, sweetie," she says to Minri, and gets up to walk towards the door, giving Brian a smile that Brian can't say he feels good about.

The couple see his mom out the door, Brian's mood ruined but Minri looks like she's anticipating something.

"Did you invite her here?" Brian asks, and it kind of catches Minri off guard,

"No," she replies and adds,

"She just dropped by without much notice."

"I can't believe she would-" Brian scoffs,

"No, no nevermind. It makes sense. Of course she would show you her wedding photos.."

"Is that so bad?" Minri asks, 

"Don't you see what she's hinting at?"

"I do... That's why I'm asking, is that so bad?" 

Brian's quiet,

"Is it wrong to discuss the idea of settling down with someone you've been dating for almost 4 years?"

"Min, that's not what I meant..."

"So, then what did you mean?" Min asks and pauses as Brian doesn't look like he's going to give an answer.

"Brian, you didn't look even the slightest bit happy when she asked the question about me in a wedding dress."

"She's trying to manipulate me again, control my life so that it all goes her way," he replies

"Again? Brian, you've been referencing your past so often lately.. Do you remember something?"

Brian exhales, because at this point he sounds like a broken record in terms of the reply to this question.

"I... I can't tell you yet, Min. I just-"

"Then tell me this, Brian," and he knows she's hurt by the way the words leave her mouth.

"When was the last time you told me you loved me?" Brian looks confused,

"What- what do you mean? I said it last night before going to bed-"

"Let me rephrase that," Min looks at him, her eyes glossing over with tears of emotions that Brian can't pinpoint. 

It's quiet, they're still in the living room, and Minri asks,

"When was the last time you told me you loved me, without hesitation? With the utmost confidence? Not out of doubt, or reassurance... Whenever you say those words, they sound different from before. They don't sound sure, or- or convinced.... They don't sound true." 

"Min-"

"Please, just answer my question." quiet tears are rolling down her cheeks, and her voice is shaking a bit.

Brian swears he's never felt worse in his life. The fact that Minri was crying because of him - the fact that he had hurt someone so important to him...

But he hates himself even more because he can't answer the question; he doesn't know when he started to waver or doubt.

It's quiet for a few moments, and Minri is waiting for a reply.

When Brian looks into her eyes apologetically, she takes that as her answer. 

"Min-ah!" Brian calls out but she's already out the door.

That night, Brian doesn't sleep that well - or at all. The bed feels oddly colder now that it's just him occupying it. He tries calling Minri, and her friend answers, he recognizes her voice. She says that Min will be staying with her tonight, so he shouldn't worry. 

But he does, he worries well into the night, and it's almost 4 AM by the time he gets even a wink of sleep.

"I saw you like 3 days ago, what's up?" Jae asks, taking a sip of his Americano, sitting in front of Eunyi as she eats her bagel.

"I have a problem," she says.

The author rolls his eyes and groans, making Eunyi laugh, and in turn he breaks into a chuckle himself.

"What does that have to do with me? Do you need money?" Eunyi laughs again,

"No, no, it's nothing like that."

"So then what is it?"

"As your fake girlfriend... My problem is..." Eunyi pauses and looks at Jae whose eyes are filled with anticipation and curiosity,

"I think I'm sincerely falling for you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please comment any thoughts, I'd love to know! thank you for reading <3


	15. Time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> twitter: @zenkrcovers | kakao: zenaya  
> feel free to message me on either, I'd love to make MyDay pals! :D

Jae almost chokes on a sip on his Americano, and Eunyi just laughs, making Jae wonder how she could laugh in this situation.

"W-what's so funny?" Jae asks,

"Your reaction" she answers and continues laughing, and Jae just looked at her, almost amazed. Eunyi stretches and sighs,

"Man, it feels so much better to get that off my chest."

Jae remains quiet, not really sure what to say.

"Hey," Eunyi says, knowing Jae's confusion and bewilderment,

"I didn't say I was going to do anything about it. I wasn't expecting for you to like me too, so just calm down, okay?" she says with a classic Eunyi smile and Jae finds himself smiling.

"But now, I feel-"

"I don't want your pity. I didn't confess to make you feel bad," she cuts him off, as if reading his mind.

"How do you know me so well?" Jae asks,

"You're easy to read," she answers,

"Much like your books,"

"I thought you said they sucked,"

"I lied." Eunyi says with a laugh.

"Am I easy to read? But you notice the details about me... Not gonna lie, sometimes it freaks me out how accurate you are when you say something,"

"When you like someone, you tend to notice the small things about them."

"But... wait, so then how long have you liked me?"

"Hm..." she thinks,

"I'd say the day I first hung out with you." 

Jae thinks,

"Can I ask you something?"

"Mhm"she replies,

"How..." Jae struggles to find the words, and Eunyi is amused considering his profession,

"That time at the diner... What made you think Minri and I had something in the past?" he asks.

Eunyi looks at him, and the sunlight coming into the cafe makes him look even more handsome.

"Your eyes." she answers, and then goes on to explain,

"Your eyes usually look happy, free and overall content. Considering we had just finished watching a hilarious movie, and then played games at an arcade, your eyes were bright. But then they dimmed down when we got to the diner."

Jae looks at Eunyi, and he's fascinated. She's so observant, social and she's naturally pretty. She's an open book, much like himself, and her smile is so bright so he wonders if maybe they could become something more.

"And when you saw Minri and Brian, your eyes had completely lost the glow they had from our date."

"Sorry..." Jae says, and Eunyi smiles,

"What're you apologizing for?"

"I don't know... Maybe because I can't reciprocate your feelings?"

"It's fine. Trust me, I'll get over it soon enough... Plus, from your eyes I can tell there's someone else you really love, isn't there?" 

Jae looks up from the table and at Eunyi. He tries to read her eyes, and deducts that her smile is about as true as it can be, underneath her sad eyes. She smiles wider and says,

"Are you trying to read me?"

"Yeah," Jae answers,

"Is it easy?" she asks and Jae replies,

"No..." he smiles, amazed again and says,

"You're like an oxymoron, like an open book yet one that's almost impossible to read."

"It's that smile of yours and your way with words that made me fall." she informs and Jae almost stops smiling when he realizes that's probably the opposite of what Eunyi wants.

"This may be a dick question but... do you think we could remain as friends?" Eunyi doesn't hesitate to reply,

"Of course! Just give me some time to get over these feelings." and Jae nods,

"Don't." Eunyi warns and Jae suddenly feels scared,

"You _dare_ act awkward around me."

"Never," he says and gives her a sincere smile and Eunyi's smile tells Jae that she knows he's telling the truth, through his eyes.

Jae and Eunyi are walking the streets and Eunyi says,

"So, do you mind if I ask you something?"

"Shoot."

"If my observation was right at the diner... Did you not have any past with Minri?"

Jae thinks for a while, wondering if he should tell Eunyi everything. His thoughts come to the conclusion of, why not?

"Nope."

"So then who do you still have your heart stuck on?"

"Brian." he answers truthfully, and Eunyi's eyes go wide

"Oh my God, you're gay? I-I'm so sorry I agreed to be your girlfriend, oh my God, what did I meddle with-"

"No! No! Don't feel bad," Jae says, laughing at Eunyi's immediately guilty reaction,

"You reacted differently than I expected." Jae comments,

"I thought maybe you'd be... I don't know, disgusted.." Eunyi looks at him, and says

"How shallow do you think I am? Love is love, whoever you fall for, you fall for. That's how I see it,"

Jae scoffs,

"I wish that's how some people saw it too."

"Did someone not accept you and Brian? I mean, I'm assuming you guys didn't work out, cause Minri.."

"It's a complicated and long story," Jae says with a smile, shaking his head. 

Eunyi looks at the rose gold watch on her wrist and then smiles when she says

"I got time."

The atmosphere in their apartment is tense as the silence envelopes them. Brian is staring at Minri who looks like she's been doing a lot of thinking, while Brian's thoughts are once again in disarray. They're sitting in their kitchen, face to face yet neither of them saying anything. Brian's resorted to staring at the table, finding himself not able to look at Minri. 

Brian inhales as if to say something, but Minri beats him to it.

"Let's break up." she says, and Brian's eyes shoot up from the table to meet Minri's whose eyes are already flowing with tears.

"W-what, Min-" Brian begins, his eyes darting from object to object trying to 

"Brian." she cuts off and Brian looks at her again.

She's smiling with her tears streaming her face, and Brian feels like someone just shot him through the heart. 

"It's okay." she says, and Brian bites his bottom lip, feeling the tears coming yet he knows he doesn't deserve to cry.

"I think we both have known for a while your full attention hasn't been on me. Your heart's been wavering and- and I know that, I've _known_ that... But I thought maybe it'll pass... Maybe I'm just overthinking things..." her shaking voice trails off, and Brian is almost unable to bear her slight whimper.

"Min-ah..." he starts,

"I promise I didn't mean to hurt you. I didn't expect any of this to happen, and I swear to you I would _never_ purposely hurt you... I-I thought it was just me being stupid, I don't even know if I even really like the person and yet..." Brian looks at Minri,

"I found myself drifting away from you. I realized that there were days when I said that I loved you just to assure myself that I still did; to convince myself..."

"I know." Minri says, adding,

"And that's why I'm letting you go. I think you need some time to figure your feelings out...We need some time apart so..."

Minri gives Brian a smile that can only be described as heartbreaking,

"Let's break up."

"I'll be staying at my friend's house for a while, and I'll come pick up my stuff when you're working at the cafe..." she informs and Brian nods,

"I'm really sorry, Min." he says, as Minri's heading out the door.

"It's okay. I'll be okay with time.." 

Minri's outside of the apartment, and Brian is standing in the door way, watching her. She turns around and gives him a smile and Brian almost tells her to stop smiling at him because he doesn't to deserve to see her like that.

"You know," she says and Brian prepares himself,

"I kind of wish you denied your confusion, and held on to me a bit longer,"

Brian looks at her and tells her honestly,

"In the end, that would've hurt you even more."

Min nods and gives him a sad smile and walks down the hall, and Brian waits till he hears the elevator doors open and closer before he goes back into the apartment.

He leans his back against the door, and slides to a seated position, resting his elbows on his knees, and his head in his hands. After sitting and thinking for a while, Brian decides to text someone.

**brian: hey, do you think i could redeem that rain check?**

"So I don't think I have the right to be jealous because-" Jae stops explaining to Eunyi who's actively listening, as he checks his phone.

"He texted me!" he finds himself getting excited and Eunyi almost jumps out of her seat,

"Really?! What did he say?"

Jae looks at her amused,

"Why do you sound so excited?"

"Oh c'mon, if I can't have you, you better end up with the person you want to have." Jae rolls his eyes,

"Oh..." he says after reading his text,

"He wants to hang out,"

"Right now?" Eunyi asks, and jokes,

"He's gonna steal your heart from me, and then steal you away from me right now... Wow." and the two laugh.

**jae: right now?**

**brian: yeah, if you're not busy**

"He said yes to right now, but we're fully talking-"

"Yeah, talking about your relationship with Brian or Younghyun..." Eunyi shakes her head, slightly confused at Jae's story, and Jae almost laughs,

"We can hang out anytime, you should go see him." she says and Jae is about to object but she gives him a glare, and he takes that as a warning,

"I'll text you later," Jae says, getting up and when he's about to leave the park bench, he ruffles Eunyi's hair and she smile. Jae walks away, but not before looking back and waving at Eunyi, who looks stunning in the sunset and he suddenly feels grateful for having her in his life. He texts back Brian,

**jae: yeah sure, where?**

**brian: do you mind coming to my apartment?**

Jae almost audibly gasps as he thinks that not many positive things have happened at Brian's apartment.

**jae: sure, i'll be there in 15**

And the author begins jogging back to the cafe where he left his car parked.

Eunyi is about to get up from the bench since Jae's figure was far off in the distance at this point. She begins walking and she wears a sad smile as she places her hand on top of her head, still feeling Jae's hand ruffling her hair. She gives a soft laugh, and shakes her head, telling herself to get over him soon. At that moment, her phone goes off

**minri: hey eunyi, it's minri. I know this is probably so random but do u mind if we meet up for a bit?**

Eunyi looks at her phone and wonders when her and Minri exchanged numbers, she assumes it happened sometime at the amusement park, or maybe in the washroom at the diner.

**eunyi: yeah no problem! where do you wanna meet?**

**minri: up for some frozen yogurt?**

Eunyi smiles and gives her a reply and she begins walking.

Brian opens the door and is greeted with Jae's slightly awkward smile,

"Hey!" Jae says, and the smile becomes sincere. Brian finds himself smiling for the first time that day, as he greets him back

"Hey,"

They spend about 1 minute just staring at each other before Jae says,

"So, uh... Are you gonna let me in? Or..."

"Oh right!" Brian says with a laugh, and Jae enters the apartment.

They naturally stride to the living and sit on the couch, the two sit on the couch on opposite sides.

"So, why'd you wanna chill so suddenly?"

"I wanted to talk,"

Jae almost wants to leave, but he figures he might as well lend an ear. So, the author just nods and waits for Brian to say what he wants to say. Brian licks his lips nervously as he looks for the right words to say,

"I..." he starts off, catching Jae's attention whose eyes were focused on the various books on the shelf in the corner.

"I think I like you." he says, and Jae doesn't look extremely happy.

"Brian. Did you remember something? W-what're you saying all of a sudden,"

"It's not that I remember something, I just.. I think-"

"You _think_? Brian..." Jae sounds exhausted,

"D-do you feel _sorry_ for me? Is this _pity_ because of what happened with Younghyun?"

"What? No, Jae. This isn't pity, I just... I just think I sincerely like you,"

"That's not enough, Bri... You _thinking_ you like me isn't going to make things happen, I _know_ how I feel about Younghyun, and I wish I didn't know how I felt about you... You who doesn't even remember our moments, you whose parents' minds are unchanging and still unaccepting... You who has a girlfriend and I'm fully aware of that yet I still fell for you..." Jae says, getting up from the couch and pacing around the room,

"I _know_ how I feel about you, Bri. But I also know you have a girlfriend and-"

"I don't." Brian cuts him off, and Jae looks at him confused,

"She broke up with me today. Min got tired of my wavering and she had enough. I hurt her way too badly, Jae..."

He continues on,

"And that's why I'm trying to tell you it's not pity, and it's definitely not a sudden feeling. God, ever since I met you something changed about me. And Min noticed it too, but we both thought it was just a phase,"

"Brian, please don't..." Jae says, and Brian replies,

"Do I need to prove it to you?"

"Do you need to prove it to yourself?" Jae asks,

"Make sure you don't just _think_ it's feelings for me when you don't know for sure..."

Brian looks up at him, defeated and he gets up,

"Okay, fine, I admit that I'm a freakin' mess but it's all because of you." he confesses, and Jae doesn't know how to respond,

"All the things you've done up until this point in time... I'm all messed up because of that.. Because of the way you surprised me at the cafe with a birthday cake, the way I felt so comfortable around you that I invited you to my birthday party despite only knowing you for a few weeks. I'm unsure because of how I didn't hate the fact that you kissed me at that party, even if you were drunk... And then again that one time on the balcony. It's because of those moments that Minri didn't have my whole heart anymore..."

Brian exhales and gives Jae a smile that he describes as fascinated yet pleading,

"Oh, and don't even get me started with your smile. God, your flawless smile that made me feel so safe and comfortable, which is such a rare feeling for someone with my condition. The way your eyes practically disappear when you're truly happy, and I don't mean that in an offensive way," Brian informs and that makes Jae crack a smile,

"The way your lips on mine felt so natural that it surprised me, it felt familiar which is something I'm not used to. The way you didn't treat me awkwardly despite everything that's happened, and despite Minri... It's the little things like the way the tone of your voice changes when you speak English. The way you're like an open book that I never get tired of reading."

The two stare at each other for a long time and Jae doesn't know what to say. So, Brian says something first,

"So, yeah, I know I'm a mess and I know just thinking I like you isn't all that convincing. But, I do _know_ that when Minri broke up with me today, of course I felt sad for hurting her, for making someone so beautiful and amazing cry... I couldn't help but think of you." he says, looking at Jae with sincere eyes,

"I do _know_ that ever since I met you I have not been the same person. I _know_ that my parents are homophobic, yet I would still proudly hold your hand and tell people you're my boyfriend. I _know_ that this isn't Younghyun speaking, and it's just me... Brian Kang, a person with dissociative fugue disorder who _thinks_ he can make you happy."

Jae stares at him, mesmerized by Brian's words yet unsure if he should put himself through the emotional experience of being Brian's significant other. The taller hadn't realized they were standing this close, swearing just a few seconds ago they were seated on opposite sides of the couch.

"Brian," he says,

"I don't need an answer right now." the other replies, as if knowing what Jae was about to tell him.

"I can wait, I will definitely give you time... Give us time, I should say," he adds, laughing a bit.

Jae awkwardly looks at his hands,

"Is that all you wanted us to hang out for? To attack me with those words that have left an author at a loss of words?" Jae asks with a soft laugh, and Brian says,

"I think there was something else I wanted to do," 

"What?" Jae asks, oblivious, and his question is what causes Brian to smile as he says,

"This,"

The kiss feels so different from the previous times their lips have met. It's not Jae initiating it, it's not an experiment executed by Brian. Instead, this time, it's a more emotional connection. It's sweet, it's not forced or sad, it's simply nice. Brian smiles into the kiss as he can't control the happiness. The happiness of finding someone whose lips feel so natural on his, like they're meant to be.

Jae stares at him, shocked,

"I-I thought you said you would wait for an answer,"

"Oh c'mon, you act like we haven't done that before,"

"We haven't." Jae says and he adds,

"Sharing a kiss like _that_... We definitely haven't done that, and you know it," 

Brian looks at him and gives a small smile. 

Jae's currently laying in bed, finding it impossible to fall asleep for reasons that he keeps replaying in his head. He thrashes around for a bit, cursing Brian and also himself for things he doesn't even think are reasonable. He reflects on Brian's words and wonders if they could really work out. So many obstacles, yet it seems like both of them are up for it, but not necessarily prepared. However, the author thinks that maybe they can work out.

Maybe they can overcome the struggles together, in time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please comment any thoughts, I'd love to know! thank you for reading! <3


	16. Thank You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> twitter: @zenkrcovers | kakao: zenaya  
> feel free to message me on either, I'd love to make MyDay pals! :D

Eunyi enters the frozen yogurt place and looks around until she spots Minri. The other is sitting at a table for two, and once she spots Eunyi, she gives a smile and receives one in return.

"Hey!" Eunyi greets brightly once she sits in front of Min. 

"Hi," is her reply with a small, cute smile.

"Shall we get some frozen yogurt?" Eunyi suggests and Min gets up.

The two walk to the yogurt bar with their bowls, filling them with contents to their desire. Minri ends up paying for both of them, arguing with Eunyi that she suddenly called her out of no where to meet up. Eunyi admits defeat, but not before saying,

"Next time, it's my turn then."

The girls sit at the table where Min was initially waiting, and proceeded to enjoy their frozen yogurt.

"So, why'd you want to meet up all of a sudden?" Eunyi asks, and assures,

"I mean, I don't mind, obviously.. But we're not necessarily close, you know?"

Minri agrees, nodding while she takes another scoop of her yogurt.

"I feel like it would be easier to talk to someone that doesn't know too much about me."

"Ah, those ones..." Eunyi says, and Minri looks at her as if questioning if Eunyi really knew what she meant.

"It's easier to confess your deepest secrets and concerns to someone who hasn't known you for so long, because then their idea of you can't really change. They don't judge you for your past because they barely know your present. It's a weird sense of comfort from someone you don't really know."

Minri looks at her amazed,

"Wow... You and Jae are like perfect for each other." she comments and Eunyi smiles awkwardly, accompanied by a just as awkward chuckle.

Min takes a deep breath before saying,

"Brian and I broke up."

Eunyi's eyes widen and she almost drops her spoon,

"Seriously?!"

The other is now wearing a sad smile and nods in confirmation.

"W-what went wrong? You guys looked so happy..." Eunyi trails off, knowing very well herself that not everything relationship is as it seems.

"It wasn't a bad parting, or anything like that... It was more of a "we both know things aren't the same, so why are we still holding on" type thing."

Eunyi lends her ear to Minri who is explaining to her what happened.

"I'm sorry..." Eunyi says, and Minri shakes her head,

"Don't be," she replies.

The two are quiet for a while, Eunyi scraping the bottom of her bowl is the only sound coming from between them.

"I did the right thing, didn't I?" Min asks and Eunyi looks into her eyes.

"The fact that I let Bri go because I know I'm not the one in his heart anymore, for breaking up with someone I love despite every fibre of my being telling me that maybe I could hold on and we could work this out... I did the right thing, right?"

She gives a comforting smile as she says,

"Yeah, yeah you did... That was really mature of you, and I'm sure Brian is thankful to have had someone as understanding as you."

"Thank you," Min finds herself saying to which the other young lady replies,

"Don't be thankful. Just telling you the truth, what you deserve to hear." 

The girls end up discussing random things, moving on from the saddening topic to why Eunyi loaded on mini cheesecake bits. The two leave the frozen yogurt place and begin walking off what they ate, it's already dark outside however the streetlights are providing enough lighting for them to walk comfortably.

"I hope you and Jae last a long time..." Min says, and Eunyi can tell from her eyes that she's being sincere.

"I don't think we will.. I think our time is just about up," 

"What makes you say that?"

"I think we're on the same boat, Min. Pretty sure his heart is lingering elsewhere," Eunyi stretches while looking at the sky,

"Guess I'm gonna be single soon," she says and Min looks at her curiously.

"When I do become single, expect a call from me, okay?" 

Minri laughs and nods, figuring it wouldn't be a bad time. 

Eunyi is currently in bed just about ready to fall asleep but then her phone goes off. She thinks to herself that she just can't get a break from messages today, and that maybe she should turn on the 'Do Not Disturb' function. 

**jae: r u asleep?**

Eunyi looks at her phone and contemplates on whether or not she should pretend like she didn't see the message and just go to sleep.

**eunyi: no i'm sleep texting you**

**jae: wow the sarcasm is so real**

**eunyi: realer than our relationship**

Eunyi laughs at her own reply and watches her screen as Jae types up,

**jae: oh my god you did not just-**

**eunyi: lol so what's up? how was hanging out with bri?**

**jae: well, let's just say he's the reason i can't sleep**

The girl eyes her phone, thinking before typing

**eunyi: oh god, i don't even wanna know**

**jae: what? nO NOT LIKE THAT-**

**eunyi: ok seriously, why're you texting me so late**

**jae: i needed to tell someone and i'm pretty sure wonpil is out with sungjin or something**

**eunyi: then tell me, child**

**jae: excuse u, i'm older, how am i the child?**

**eunyi: cause you're beating around the bush and not teLLLING ME WHY YOU'RE TEXTING**

**jae: w0w ok i'll just tell you tomorrow then**

**eunyi: what no you can't do that. now i'm curious**

Eunyi shifts around in her bed, yawning as she feels herself having difficulty keeping her eyes open but deciding to persevere to satisfy her curiosity.

**jae: you can't tell anyone, ok?**

**eunyi: yup yup**

**jae: ok so... min and brian broke up**

**eunyi: oh yeah, ik that**

**jae: what, how?**

**eunyi: i have my resources, continue.**

**jae: .... anyway, so yeah they broke up and then brian kissed me.**

Eunyi takes note that Jae's short reply took quite a while to type, and she assumes he was hesitant to tell her that last part. 

**eunyi: ohoho look @ u, gettin' it**

**jae: pls take me seriously, that actually has me in such a mess.**

**eunyi: yeah, but i'm sure it's not just you. brian's thoughts are probably in a mess too, i mean think about it. he broke up with his girlfriend of almost 4 years for a chance. for you, an uncertain future, so hey, idk anything for sure but imma take a guess that both of you aren't in the most organized state of mind.**

She struggles to type that reply, as she starts to be consumed by slumber. The last thing she sees before she falls asleep is the three dots meaning Jae is typing up a reply.

Jae stares at his phone, waiting for Eunyi to reply, but when she doesn't for about 7 minutes, he decides he should sleep too. He pictures Eunyi sleeping in her bed, struggling to stay up to text him, and he feels this wave of gratitude. However, after that wave, another one comes but this time it's this feeling of selfishness. The realization of: he has Eunyi, who is an amazing person that sincerely likes him and treats him like a dream, yet wants Brian who might want him too. Now, it's no longer the recent memory of Brian's lips on his that's keeping Jae awake. It's the sudden self awareness that has Jae wondering if it's okay to be that selfish and pursue Brian and to leave Eunyi who is already alone yet continues to smile her bright, classical smile. That's what's now keeping the author awake despite wanting to sleep, which he eventually does but not until the sky is becoming lighter.

Eunyi wakes up the next morning and immediately sees Jae's reply of

**jae: how are you so wise? you're literally amazing you know that?**

Eunyi laughs at the text, and she's tempted to type back "if you keep saying things like that, it won't make it any easier for me to get over you", but instead she says

**eunyi: duh. now, take my amazing self out for dinner tonight !**

She doesn't expect a reply right away since it's still considerably early in the morning, and simply gets out of bed. She makes her way to the kitchen and makes herself a cup of coffee, an Iced Americano and she takes a sip and concludes that it doesn't taste the same as the one Jae orders from the cafe. 

"Hey," her roommate greets and Eunyi smiles and says the same back

"Oh, by the way, there's some raw pasta in the cupboards if you're going to cook dinner tonight,"

"I have a date" Eunyi replies,

"Oh, do you?" Jiseo says, amused and her eyebrows are raised and Eunyi says,

"Yup. My last one with him," 

"What? What do you mean?"

"You'll see the headlines soon enough,"

Eunyi leaves the kitchen, taking the mug of coffee up to her room and settling back into her bed. She checks her phone and sees Jae's reply of

**jae: ok pick a place, i'll pick you up @ 7**

She looks at her phone almost surprised that Jae actually said yes, but she's glad. Eunyi decides to spend her morning and afternoon reading, and she picks up a novel without looking and laughs to herself as she reads Jae's name on the cover. She's about to return it back in the basket of books beside her bed, but figures why not? and proceeds to read.

Brian messages Minri for the first time in what feels like weeks, but it's only been a couple of days. It's already about 5pm and he wonders where the Hell his day went.

**brian: hey... do you mind if we meet up?**

**minri: hi. yeah, when?**

Brian lets out a sigh a relief, grateful that Minri is still willing to meet him,

**brian: right now, if you can?**

**minri: kk, i'll meet you @ the apartment in 10?**

**brian: sounds good**

Minri doesn't text back and Brian assumes it's because she's getting ready for his sudden invitation, and so he decides to send one last text before doing the same.

**brian: thank you.**

Minri knocks on the apartment door that she used to just enter into with a key, but figures it's only right to knock. Brian opens the door and gives her an awkward smile and Minri laughs,

"That was dashing," she comments and her laugh turns Brian's smile sincere,

"Sorry," he replies with a chuckle.

The two settle in the living room, and Minri breaks the awkward silence,

"So, why'd you want to see me today?"

Brian looks at her, his expression serious as he replies,

"I think it's only right that..." he thinks of how to word this,

"I tell you everything, or at least what I think I know. I don't like leaving you in the dark and not being able to give you an answer, so that's what I wanted to do today. Tell you why I let you go. and explain myself to you."

Minri looks at him, she doesn't know if she wants to hear all of this, but she's appreciative that Brian's taking initiative. She nods and just replies,

"Thank you." and then settles into the couch to listen to what Brian has to say.

Brian looks around the room and begins saying,

"Before I had a reset, before I met you or even came back from Canada... I went by the name of Younghyun- that's my birth name. Kang Younghyun," he says and Minri nods, having already known that.

"Younghyun... He- Gosh it sounds so weird addressing Younghyun in 3rd person, considering he's technically me," he comments, a weird smile on his face and Minri continues to listen.

"He was different. He wasn't the same as me - completely opposite in some ways. He wasn't that great of a musician, but he drew a lot, apparently. He liked chocolate cake and found the flavour of vanilla boring. But, there is one thing in common between Younghyun and I. The reason I'm telling you this is because Younghyun had someone special to him. Someone that he loved and loved him back, someone that my parents didn't approve of. And I- I don't know if you're going to react the same way and I'm so scared that you will... I'm scared that this will just happen all over again but I'm taking a chance. The reason I was suddenly sent to Canada, the reason my whole life as Younghyun is never spoken about... The reason my mom's so thrilled that someone as amazing as you had gotten together with me, why she was suggesting the idea of marriage... was because the person I loved was a guy. Not a girl, with long hair and a petite figure, but a boy with short hair who was tall and who hasn't changed that much," he says with a smile, 

"Meeting that person now, as Brian, not knowing anything about Younghyun. I think I've fallen for him again, but I don't know if we'll work out. I don't want you to think that I was using you to try and get over these feelings because I swear to you that I didn't even know I had them. I don't want you to think I was dating you to hide from my parents, I really want you to know that I truly loved you, and- and even now I really care about you and that's why I'm telling you." 

Brian looks up for the first time ever since he started talking, and Minri's crying.

"Brian... I want you to know that I'm not disgusted or that I think any way like your parents... Obviously, this is a lot to take in at once especially because I never knew about any of this, and.. I wish I did. I wish you told my earlier, but I can understand why you didn't. I'm sorry that you had to suffer this alone, confused-"

"Please don't apologize." Brian says, almost pleading, and Minri nods.

"Is it too much to ask if you told me his name?"

Brian thinks for a bit,

"Ah... It'll be awkward because you know him."

Minri thinks for a while and her eyes widen,

"Do you like Sungjin?!"

Brian laughs and profusely denies,

"No no! Not him...." he's quiet for a bit before continuing,

"It's Jae."

Minri looks at him shocked,

"Oh." is her response and Brian nods. 

"Well... that's interesting..." she says and then gasps,

"Wait, so then... His book and your tattoo..."

"Yeah," Brian says and sighs,

"All of this is so complicated."

"Yeah, wait. What about Eunyi?-"

And the timing is perfect because Minri's phone goes off with a text alert. On her screen it reads

**eunyi: pls be free tonight! maybe we can get some coffee or something sweet.**

Brian tries to take a peak and Minri catches him,

"Excuse me, Mr. Nosy," 

Brian chuckles and then looks at Minri who jokes around,

"I'm not your girlfriend anymore, so don't go snooping through my messages,"

"Your password is probably still the same."

Minri looks at Brian and quickly takes out her phone, and within a minute she looks back up and says,

"Not anymore."

He laughs with her and the two just settle into comfortable silence.

"You know Min, I'm really thankful for you. I'm grateful and so lucky that it's you who I was dating," Brian says and Minri gives him a smile. 

"You know, I'll always be here for you. Even if it's just as a friend, I'm thankful that we can continue being in each other's lives."

"I really hope you find someone that'll make you happier than I ever could,"

"Shouldn't be too hard..." Minri jokes and Brian scoffs,

"Wow, low blow."

The two spend a while talking, discussing how they're going to deal with the apartment and other things that were too sensitive of topics to discuss when they had last seen each other.

"There're a lot of people watching us.." Jae comments as he takes a sip of his water. Eunyi and the author are currently at a relatively fancy restaurant,

"Good," Eunyi says under her breath,

"What was that?" Jae asks for clarification,

"Nothing," she replies with a smile and Jae eyes her suspiciously.

The two are just finishing their dinner, Jae's talking about starting a new book soon looking down at his plate, picking at the carrots with his fork and when he looks up, he's shocked.

"E-Eunyi, what's wrong? Why're you crying-" Jae's concerned whispers are cut off with a,

"It's okay."

Eunyi says, her voice a little louder than what it had been previously, and Jae can hear a few conversations die down. Jae just looks at her confused, and that's exactly what Eunyi wanted. A genuine reaction; because she concluded that if her and Jae had planned this beforehand it wouldn't be that convincable.

"Eunyi-"

"It's fine. I get it." she looks at him with a smile, and at this point everyone is looking, whispering about the author and his girlfriend who are supposedly breaking up. Jae finally gets the message and gives her a sad smile, realizing she's doing this for him,

"Thank you... And I'm sorry, I really am."

Eunyi laughs and gives her the classic smile and extends her hand,

"Friends?" 

Jae shakes her hand and says,

"Friends."

The duo leave the restaurant shortly after that, and once they get in the car they stay in the parking lot for a while. Eunyi is wiping her tears, looking at her reflection while complaining about her mascara smudging.

"I can't believe you did that." Jae says, laughing,

"Hey, it was bound to happen."

"But at a restaurant?!"

"Yeah! It's perfect, because then we have several witnesses to spread the story of a good, clean break-up,"

"You cried!"

"If I didn't cry, it would all look so fake, I swear to you. The tears were a good touch, because we were smiling by the end anyway!"

Jae scoffs and shakes his head in disbelief.

"You know, you could've given me a sign, a hint or something,"

"I feel like you would've been a really bad actor." Eunyi replies while shrugging.

He just looks at Eunyi, amazed once again and starts laughing.

"You're freakin' incredible," he says and starts to drive off,

"Yeah, I know! Now drop me off at the cafe,"

"Yes, ma'am," Jae says and smiles.

Eunyi rolls down the window and turns on the radio and starts singing, and Jae joins her.

They're close to the cafe and Eunyi is on her phone,

"Oh, man reporters are fast,"

"Are there already articles up?"

"Yeah! The titles are positive, but I'm assuming you're gonna get a call from your manager soon,"

"Probably..." Jae says, slightly worried about what his manager is going to say.

They get to the cafe and Eunyi steps out, but not before saying to Jae,

"And now, you're free. With me out of the picture, there are still so many things you have to deal with if you and Brian are going to work out... But, I think you guys can do it." 

Jae watches her walk to the entrance of the cafe, but before she gets too far he rolls down the window

"Eunyi!" he calls out and she turns around,

"Thank you." the author's sincere smile makes Eunyi roll her eyes,

"Yeah, yeah now go! You're embarrassing me, we just broke up" she says and Jae looks at the few people looking at them, whispering to each other and he laughs, waves and proceeds to drive away.

"Eunyi!" Minri says once she enteres the cafe, and Eunyi smiles and waves, and does the same to Sungjin who is working.

"I just saw the articles, and really? At a restaurant?"

"Hey, at least the food was good," she jokes around.

The two spend a while at the cafe, talking, drinking and eating.

Despite all their different situations, the one thing in common between Eunyi, Minri, Jae and Brian was that today, they all felt extremely thankful - for each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please comment any thoughts, I'd love to know! thank you for reading <3


	17. Forward

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> twitter: @zenkrcovers | kakao: zenaya  
> feel free to message me on either, I'd love to make MyDay pals! :D

"Seriously?!" Minri proclaims and draws attention to herself as Eunyi just laughs,

"Yup. All of it. Fake."

"Oh my God... My life is a lie,"

"Shut up," Eunyi replies while laughing, and Minri joins her.

"Oh wait, so then... Everything makes sense now."

Eunyi nods,

"When did the articles of us dating first come out?" she says, hinting for Minri to put everything together. It takes a few seconds of Minri thinking before she says,

"A few days after Brian's mom slapped Jae at the airport... Wow, I'm oblivious,"

"Just a tad." 

Minri throws a balled up napkin at Eunyi who just laughs.

"Sungjin~" a voice familiar to the both of them calls out from the door, and they both turn to see Brian entering the cafe.

"Oh, great." Min says,

"I thought you two talked things out?"

"Yeah! But, it's still awkward," she whispers, putting on her hood and Eunyi just laughs.

"He didn't see us, it's fine."

Min watches as Brian talks to Sungjin, an interaction she feels like she hasn't seen in a while.

"You think you'll get over him?" Eunyi asks, and Minri doesn't answer right away. She's watching Brian as he talks converses with Sungjin, until he reaches into his pocket and pulls out his phone,

"Jae?" the girls overhear and then Minri finally answers Eunyi's question.

"I will, soon enough... You?"

Eunyi takes a quick peak at Brian whose smile is bright as he continues talking on the phone, she's not really focusing on the words, more on how happy Brian looks.

"Yeah, eventually." Eunyi answers.

The girls continue talking about different topics, and Minri's listening to Eunyi's opinion on potatoes being the most versatile vegetable as her eyes follow Brian's figure as he leaves the cafe, his steps lighter and his smile just a tad brighter than what it had become.

"Man. Eunyi is the best,"

"I know, right?" Jae agrees, shaking his head in admiration as he settles into the couch. It gets quiet, but it's not tense or awkward.

"Brian." Jae says after a few minutes,

"Now what?" he asks and it takes a few moments for Brian to process that the author is referring to them; whatever they were.

"I... I don't know. I know what I want to happen but... It's gonna be a hell of a journey to get to where I want to be."

Jae looks at him with eyes that aren't sad, just a tad bit tired.

"What about you?"

"Hm?" the author hums in response and Brian says,

"What do you want to happen? What're your hopes for us?"

"You just fulfilled one of them,"

Brian gives a sweet smile,

"And what is that?"

"Being able to say 'us'. To refer to you and I using a collective term. I like that." 

Jae thinks for a while before saying,

"I want to be able to openly call you mine. I want to hold your hand while walking down the streets, I want to not feel like I've done something wrong after I kiss you... and sometimes,"

He looks at Brian who's listening intently,

"I want you to remember. That's only sometimes, though, because I'm grateful that you've managed to fall for me again."

"It wasn't that hard," Brian comments and smiles at the way Jae's eyes widen slightly.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Do you need to ask that at this point?" 

Jae's reply makes Brian chuckle lightly and he nods,

"Fair enough."

The blonde gives him a smile, and Brian asks

"Would you be willing to give us a chance?"

"Uh-"

"Wait." he cuts off,

"Let me rephrase that." Brian says and then continues,

"Would you be willing to give _me_ a chance?"

That's a different question, and both of them know that. Brian is aware that them as an item and he himself are two different things. He awaits the answer of the question that has several alternative ways of wording it. However by asking it like this, asking if Jae's willing to give Brian a chance means that with Brian comes everything. By willing to give Brian a chance, Jae is saying that he is willing to go through the suffering again, willing to risk being forgotten again, risking the scandals, the hate, his parents; all of it... The weight of this question is heavy, carrying everything they both stand for, and so whatever words come out of Jae's mouth are just as heavy.

"Yes." he says, and Brian feels this wave of relief.

"I am willing to give you a chance... I'm willing to bet my heart on you despite the odds being against me; against us."

"But what about you?" Jae continues,

"Absolutely. I'm absolutely willing to give my all into us despite us not being an absolute."

"Are you using literary devices to impress me?"

"Is it working?"

The two laugh it off because they both know the road ahead of them may not be too joyful and amusing, so they decide to laugh and smile while they can. It gets quiet as neither of them know how to proceed after confirming their feelings.

"I'm scared." Jae admits,

"I'm scared of your parents, I'm scared that one day you'll think you've made a mistake and go back to Minri... I'm worried that you'll forget me again, and I'm scared of getting hurt by you again, because clearly, the last time it happened I wasn't able to recover or move on."

He looks at Brian with a smile that makes him feel apologetic. 

"But, I think you are too." the author says before going on,

"You must be scared of your parents too, it must be terrifying knowing you can black out one day and wake up not knowing anything... Breaking up with Minri and pursuing feelings you have for a guy despite only having feelings for a girl for as long as you can remember. So I appreciate-"

His words are cut off, once again because Brian couldn't hold back anymore. Jae's learning to not feel guilty after their lips meet, and Brian just becomes fonder each time. This kiss lasts longer than it did the last time, and Jae subconciously wonders if they'll just become increasingly longer each time... and he figures that he wouldn't mind. Brian pulls away, and habitually starts off,

"Sorry," Jae gives him a look that doesn't look all that happy,

"I don't want you to apologize for ki-"

"For not doing that sooner." Brian continues and Jae just stares at him for a few seconds before rolling his eyes and turning away as a big smile forms on his face.

Brian laughs, watching Jae's cheeks flush with a faint pink and then it gets quiet again.

"Hey..."

"Hm?" the blonde hums in response,

"Do.. uh, are you free... Would you like to, uh," Brian's sad attempts at asking Jae out are cut off when Jae starts laughing and Brian just feels embarrassed.

"Geez, is that how you got Minri? You're so smooth.." he teases, and the other smiles. Once the laughter dies down, Brian exhales and says confidently,

"Would you like to go on a date with me? This Friday, perhaps?"

Jae gives him a warm smile and proceeds to reply,

"I would love to."

Brian feels a wave of relief, but he doesn't know why he was anxious in the first place.

Friday rolls around, and it's around 7pm at the moment. Jae is sitting in his car, fixing his hair in the mirror, adjusting his glasses, and basically fixing things that didn't need fixing. He's in the parking lot of the live club, Brian had asked to meet him there because he said he wanted to enjoy some music. Jae gets out of his car, fixes his jacket and checks out his reflection in the window one last time before he goes inside. The dimly lit space is familiar, and he looks around for Brian for a bit, before concluding he doesn't see him. Jae pulls out his phone to text him before the next performer makes his way to the stage, and sure enough, it's him.

Brian sits comfortably on the bar stool, holding his guitar close as he speaks into the mic.

"Uh, good evening everyone." he starts off, and Jae smiles,

"The song I'm about to perform for you guys is one that I wrote with someone in mind. It's not that amazing," he says and Jae automatically doubts him,

"But it is special if I do say so myself." 

The two make eye contact and Jae's smile only gets wider as Brian finishes off his opening ment,

"So, yeah! Hope you guys enjoy."

Jae leans back in his chair, anticipating the sounds that are about to fill the room.

The song starts off with an intro of the chord progression, and the author subconsciously stops breathing as Brian gets closer to the mic, takes a breath and begins,

_Stop the awkward distance between us, so frustrated_

_The one who seems so close but far_

_Yeah, it's you._

Brian finds Jae's eyes again, making sure the latter gets the message of this song.

_Day by day I_

_Am fulfilled by you_

_Close my eyes and you show me that_

_I am totally attracted to you_

He goes into what Jae assumes is the chorus,

_I think I'm crazy_

_From the first moment I saw you_

_I think I'm crazy_

_I want you, I want to have you_

_Baby, you_

_Baby, you_

_Baby, you_

Brian smiles at Jae, and the author sees the repetition as an obvious hint and can't help but feel happy about it.

He finishes off the performance without any mistakes, at least none obvious to Jae's ears or eyes, and the satisfied expression on Brian's face supports that. The crowd gives him a much deserved applause and he walks off stage with a smile. He puts his guitar back in its case before making his way to Jae.

The two stand facing each other for a few moments, Jae trying to word a compliment or any form of dialogue, really. Before he can, Brian affirms,

"That song was for you."

The other nods and replies,

"Thank you. It was amazing, seriously. That voice and the way you play your guitar..." he trails off and sighs, 

"Thank you for agreeing to come out with me tonight."

"The rest of the night awaits," Jae replies and with that, the duo head outside and begin walking around town, but not before Brian drops off his guitar in Jae's car.

The evening is just beginning, they're making their way to a restaurant that Brian had made reservations at.

"Can I ask how the song came to be?"

"I was just thinking about you; about us. At first, I was going to name it 'J' but, figured 'You' would be just as obvious to you, yet vague to those that don't matter."

"Why would you think naming it 'J' would be a good idea?!"

"Hey." Brian says and turns to Jae,

"You named your bestseller after the phrase on my tattoo, okay?"

That shuts Jae up as he continues walking quietly, murmuring to himself in defeat. Brian laughs, and says triumphantly,

"Now, we're even."

"Don't worry, one day I'll write another bestseller to get revenge,"

"Revenge? How can you get revenge when I'm avenging myself-"

"Shh, shh," Jae hushes and puts a finger up to Brian's lips,

"It's okay. It'll make sense one day," 

Brian rolls his eyes and swats Jae's hand away from his lips. Once the restaurant comes into view, still quite far away, he grabs Jae's hand,

"Let's go!"

They take off, and the action takes the other off guard as he questions,

"Wha- what? Why are we running?!"

"Because," Brian turns to look at Jae, and his smile is stunning.

It looks peaceful, but the kind of peace that comes after a storm, or more of an internal peace when you finally accept yourself. Maybe Jae is reading way too much into it, maybe it's not that deep or meaningful.

"I feel like if I run, maybe I can catch up,"

"What? Catch up to what? Or who?"

"Catch up on the time I've lost. All the moments I could've been holding your hand and taking you to nice restaurants."

Jae stares at Brian's hand and finds that their fingers are intertwined. He doesn't know when it transitioned from his hand being around his wrist, leading the way, but he doesn't object. The author's grip gets a little tighter, and with that Brian's smile gets wider. Jae begins running to match Brian's speed, resulting in the two young men looking like a pair of children playing a game of Man Hunt.

Once they get to the restaurant, Jae's panting and doubled over while Brian checks in for the reservation.

"I hate you for making us run,"

"You're just out of shape, it was like a 3 minute run."

"My burning lungs say otherwise,"

"If your lungs are burning, stop wasting oxygen by complaining and just walk to our table!" Brian says, laughing as Jae once again rolls his eyes.

The two sit down, and receive their menus. The restaurant isn't too fancy, but it's definitely an upgrade from the diner they used to frequent. Jae spends a couple of minutes deciding what to order and by the time their waiter comes, the 2 order smoothly. Minus the part where they bickered over which dipping sauce to order with the calamari, which results in the waiter bringing both the garlic butter and the honey mustard. Once the appetizer arrives, and shortly after, their entrees, the two start talking over light bites of food.

They're discussing the clumsiness of penguins, Brian commenting that they can't help it considering they're always on ice. Jae brings up the fact that when he was little, he wanted a penguin as a pet and the other replies that he'd much rather have a panda. They spend almost 2 hours just talking about this and that, nothing in particular.

By this point, their meals are almost done, Brian's leaning on the table, his chin resting in the palm of his hand as he just stares at Jae who is passionately talking about horror stories.

"And they're just so interesting, you know? We don't know if it's true or not but just the idea of it being a possibility can keep people up at night. I especially like the ones that are short, you know, those 2-sentence horror stories? They're so cool, 'cause they use minimal words but they still give you that unsettling feeling..." Jae slows down and his voice drifts off, noticing Brian staring at him.

"What? Do I have something on my face?"

"I think you're my soulmate."

The statement catches Jae off guard,

"W-what?"

"I really do."

"Why're you saying this all of a sudden?" 

He's clearly flustered and Brian is saying it so naturally that Jae questions if he's hearing correctly.

"Fell for you once, but forgot you and that me is gone. But, I meet you again... and it happens all over again. You know, I thought I was going to marry Minri, and I had no objections to that, didn't mind settling down with a nice girl who made me feel happy... Then you come along, and all of a sudden I start to question my definition of happiness. I start to not want to put a ring on Min's finger because I don't think it's my place."

Jae stares back, not knowing if Brian's done talking, but he decides the latter has cut him off before so, he proceeds to say,

"I can't tell you that I am, but I can't deny it either. Us meeting again may not be fate considering I didn't move away in hopes you would return... But I do want to hope that you're my soulmate. I want to think that you're the one the Heavens have made for me, the one whose hands feel so natural in mine, whose lips fit perfectly with mine... I think it's you who completes me."

"I should be saying that," Brian replies,

"I can barely remember myself, I'm hardly anywhere close to being complete... But you," he marvels at the art, the wonderous thing, that is Jaehyung.

"You make me feel like I'm not missing anything, like I'm not incomplete. You make me look forward to moving forward, rather than destroying myself trying to remember the past."

They share the silence, their eyes not leaving each other's.

The waiter is about to take their plates away when he notices the two sharing a moment, and slowly walks away, smiling to himself.

"I like you," Jae's the one to break the silence, and his blunt words make Brian laugh.

"I like _you_ , Brian Kang." he repeats and this time it makes Brian a little bit happier.

It's the other's way of saying he doesn't expect Younghyun to return, but it's okay; because Jae likes Brian. Jae likes the one who can play guitar and sing, he likes the guy who doesn't think vanilla is boring, who can't draw. 

Jae likes Brian, and that's all that matters at the moment.

They talk for a few more minutes before calling over the waiter to give them the bill, Brian pays and Jae calls dibs on the next dinner.

They're walking now, the night artificially lit by the streetlights and stores and cafes that are still open.

"I swear, if you pull that crap again and make me run I'm going to throw up on you."

Brian laughs as he comments,

"You're disgusting."

The two walk to a nearby park, but they don't just sit on a bench. They're both on the swings, pumping their legs to reach the maximum height. 

"I'm swinging higher than you," Jae taunts as he sticks out his tongue,

"That's 'cause you cheated and started swinging earlier!"

"Not my fault you were slow and didn't run to the set," 

Brian looks baffled,

"You fully warned that you would puke if you ran!"

Jae laughs, it's full and sincere and it makes the other smile.

"Strategy." he replies,

"Strategy, my ass." and with that, Brian jumps off his swing, sticking the landing.

"Aw, you're quitting?"

"I wanted a good view of you failing to land."

"Oh shut up,"

"Don't worry! I'll be here to catch you" Brian says along with a wink, and Jae pretends to gag.

Jae proceeds to jump off the swing, and sure enough his jacket gets caught on the chain. Brian immediately reacts, running to him as he flails, panicked. The fail causes Jae to end up in Brian's arms, and the two share eye contact before bursting out in laughter.

"You freakin' jinxed it!"

Brian's basically cackling, rolling on the ground,

"You're getting woodchips in your hair." he says and the latter clearly doesn't care.

"Oh my God, I can't believe you actually failed,"

"I hate you." Jae replies and begins walking away

"C'mon, it was funny," Brian says as he pulls Jae closer by his hand.

"Let me go-"

"No." he says as he pulls Jae into a tight hug,

"Not again." 

That makes Jae blush, and he can't really hate the way Brian makes him weak.

The date ends off with Jae dropping Brian off at his apartment. It's currently almost 3AM, and honestly speaking, neither of them could tell you where the hours went.

"You sure you don't wanna come up for some tea or coffee?"

Jae shakes his head,

"I need a break from you, we spent like 8 hours together." he jokes and Brian nods his head in agreement,

"Next time, then?"

"Definitely." 

Brian's walking away from the car, when Jae yells out,

"Hey, Brian!"

He turns around,

"Thank you for today! I'm looking forward to a lot more nights like this in the future!"

The moonlight catches Brian's dashing smile,

"Good night! Drive safe,"

And with a nod, Brian watches as Jae drives out of the apartment complex. Brian's walking back into his apartment when he hears the ear-piercing screeching of tires and the frantic blaring of horns. The sound of a crash cuts through the relatively peaceful night, and Brian's stomach drops. He feels his legs go weak as he turns around and begins sprinting to the place where the car alarms are coming from.

He practically drops his guitar case, in hopes of getting there just a bit faster because who knows what difference a second can make.

As he's running, a faint,

"Jae..." escapes his lips as he can't help but worry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please comment any thoughts, I'd love to know! thank you for reading <3


	18. Just

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> twitter: @zenkrcovers | kakao: zenaya  
> feel free to message me on either, I'd love to make some MyDay pals! :D

The faint, steady beeping of a machine is what Jae awakes to. It gradually gets louder as he slowly opens his eyes. The image is blurred at first, but then Wonpil's face comes into focus.

"Jae?" he asks, cautiously.

Jae blinks a few times before concluding he's in the hospital. He proceeds to sit up, and Wonpil has his hand on his shoulder,

"Hey, hey, slow down..."

It's odd, considering they've always been bickering. Wonpil and Jae never really showed each other their serious sides, let alone expressed concern for each other.

"I'm fine," Jae says and he notices how weak his voice sounds. He clears his throat and Wonpil just stares at him. 

"What time is it?"

Wonpil checks his phone and replies,

"3:09PM,"

And then it gets quiet.

The most recent events replay in Jae's mind.

He clearly remembers driving down what seemed like a clear road. It was dark and peacefully quiet, right until the bright flash of another car's headlights and the blaring sound of the car horn resounds through the night.

Sungjin walks in and Jae assumes he dropped Wonpil off before going to find parking.

"Oh hey, you're awake." he says, a relieved smile on his face.

"Yeah," Jae replies, still trying to process what happened.

A doctor soon follows in the room and looks at Jae, pleasantly surprised.

"Jaehyung, I see you're awake."

The other nods as the doctor begins checking on Jae's breathing, and his responsiveness. When the doctor concludes that there isn't anything noticably wrong with Jae's basic functions, he takes a step back.

"Do you remember what happened last night?"

"I was driving, and the- the road was clear, I swear... But he came out of no where, I had right of way, it was go..." he says and then trails off.

"Do you mind if I explain to you exactly what happened?" the doctor politely asks.

"Please," Jae gives him permission although he's unsure of why he even asked.

"You are right, you did have the right of way. The other driver ran through the red light, and t-boned your car, and thankfully it was a collision on the passenger side. However, the impact did cause your vehicle to roll over, which explains your injuries. Now, during your scans we didn't find any major bone breaks or fractures, which is good news." 

Jae sighs in relief, and Wonpil does the same. He's currently standing beside Sungjin who has a comforting arm around his shoulders.

"But, when your car rolled over, you hit your head significantly hard, which caused the bleeding, that's why it's bandaged up."

Jae reaches up to his head and feels that it's bandaged,

"Oh, well then." he comments and a light laughter fills the room. Jae looks around the room and realizes there's some stuff in the chairs to the side, and he wonders if Wonpil stayed the night.

With that, 2 people walk in and both of them seem extremely relieved to see Jae awake and sitting up.

The doctor proceeds to say,

"From that impact, there is no eternal bleeding. However, we do suspect short-term memory loss."

Everyone in the room freezes.

"We don't know for sure, but it seems like you recognized everyone here." the doctor finishes off, and Jae goes on to name everyone in the room.

"Wonpil, Sungjin, Eunyi..." he pauses as he looks at Brian,

"Younghyun?"

Brian's heart sinks, and Wonpil's eyes go wide.

"Younghyun, are you back?-"

"That's not Younghyun." Wonpil says, and he bites his lower lip.

The doctor feels the mood that suddenly got dark, and he says,

"We'll observe you for a few days, tracking your memory. I'm sure your friends can also help." With a smile, he adds,

"Well then, I'll be off. I'll check up on you later, Jaehyung." 

As the doctor is making his way out the door, Brian stops him,

"Hey Doc, could I talk to you for a second?"

This results in the two talking outside of Jae's room,

"It is only temporary, I assure you."

"When, uh, when will he get his memories back?"

"That, I can't assure you."

The doctor looks at the young man whose eyes look lost, panicked and solemn.

"He _will_ remember you." is his parting words, tapping Brian on the arm and giving a supporting smile.

Brian doesn't go back into the room just yet. Instead, he leans on the wall, tilts his head back and closes his eyes. He hadn't slept that much, as he had called the police, came to the hospital with Jae, and stayed in the night in his room. He sighs, as thoughts fill his head.

_So this is what it felt like._

_This is what Jae experienced when I didn't recognize him; when he couldn't treat me the same because I didn't know who he was. This is how alone I made him feel, leaving him to deal with it himself... But, it's so unfair because he will remember._

The doctor can guarantee Brian that Jae will remember; but Jae didn't have that comfort. No one could've told Jae that Brian would remember him, for sure. 

It's sad, how horribly timed this incident is.

Just when they were finally making progress, just when they affirmed everything and told each other they would try. Right after Eunyi had done Jae a favour, and Minri had talked things out with Brian-

"Hey,"

Brian opens his eyes and turns to the left to see Sungjin.

"You okay?" he asks,

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine... Is Jae okay?"

"Yeah, seems like it. Bri, you look so tired, maybe you should go home and nap. Wonpil and I will probably stay as long as we can, so just go home and sleep a bit, yeah?"

"I'm okay, Sungjin. I should ask if he needs anything-"

"Brian. He's fine, what you need right now is some sleep. C'mon, I'll drop you off."

The way Sungjin is looking into Brian's eyes tells him he has no patience for arguing, and he's just sincerely concerned for him. 

"Okay. Let me just grab my stuff," he says and then they enter the room together.

Jae looks cute with that bandage around his head, and that classic goofy smile on his face. Brian can't help but think that, but he decides to just continue on with his goal of collecting his things.

"You heading home, Brian?" Wonpil asks, and the other nods in response.

Jae's eyes follow Brian's, but not in a loving and yearning way, it was more like he was observing.

"You're the one who brought me here?" Jae asks and Brian says,

"I rode in the ambulance with you."

"Did you stay the night?"

"Yeah," he says, scratching the back of his head, wearing an awkward smile.

"You look like you haven't gotten a wink of sleep." the author comments and Brian notes how he's just as easy-to-talk-to as he was when they first met.

"Yeah, I didn't... Wanted to monitor you, see if you woke up."

That conversation ends there with both parties just nodding.

"Hey, Eunyi could you pass me that water please?"

Brian notes that he recognizes Eunyi, so it's most likely only him he has forgotten.

"Why me? Wonpil is standing right there," she jokes around, reaching for the water and hesitating when Jae replies,

"Because you're my girlfriend!"

Brian's eyes shift to the floor and when he looks up, he notices Eunyi looking at him with apologetic eyes. Jae drinks the water unknowingly, not noticing the silence that just got slightly awkward.

"Bri," Sungjin says, motioning towards the door, which Brian proceeds walks towards.

"I'll be back, Wonpil," he adds and then the two are out the door.

Once they get in Sungjin's car, he gets a text from Wonpil.

**wonpil: tell brian that eunyi and i will explain everything to jae later.**

He tells Brian who just nods, and then leans his head back on the headrest. 5 minutes into the drive and Brian's already passed out, Sungjin takes a peak when stopped at a red light, and sighs. 

_Ah, the world is cruel._

Is what Sungjin thinks, and the light turns green.

Brian wakes up in his apartment, and looks at the digital clock at his bedside. It currently reads 9:14PM and Brian agrees that he did need some sleep. He figures he should go back to the hospital. He packs a bag, bringing along with him books, a few clothes, one of the articles of clothing being Jae's sweater. On the way to the hospital, Brian passes by the diner drive-thru, and picks up some food for him and maybe for Jae if he's up for it. When he gets to the hospital, he parks and then proceeds to make his way to Jae's room.

His room is now dimly lit by the lamp on his bedside table, and Brian sees Wonpil almost asleep, leaning his head on Sungjin's shoulder. Sungjin waves as he nudges Wonpil to wake up. 

Wonpil replies in mumbles when Sungjin whispers,

"Hey, let's go, Brian's here."

Sungjin sighs and proceeds to pick up Wonpil into a piggy-back. Brian smiles at the sweet scene and Sungjin gives him one back, along with a nod as they make their way out.

Brian's eyes settle on Jae's figure in the bed, sleeping soundly and his breathing steady. He goes to the chairs and places his bag on one while he sits in the other.

Brian's spent the next hours or so reading a novel, Jae's novel to be exact. He recalls Minri mentioning it when he had first met Jae, and figures he has a lot of time so why not?

He's immersed in the world of words Jae's brilliance has created. The way the words tattoo the page, yet can become so vivid in one's mind fascinates him. Brian's almost half way through the book, and his heart has been aching for the past two chapters. The underlying emotions of longing, and personal experience just seep through the pages and-

"Enjoying it?"

Brian looks up to see Jae giving him a small smile.

"Yeah, it's... you're amazing."

"Thank you." he replies,

"Sorry, by the way."

"For what?" Brian asks, genuinely confused.

"For forgetting you as soon as we were getting somewhere."

Looks like Wonpil and Eunyi had filled him in while Brian was passed out in his apartment.

"You know, it's fine. I have that reassurance that it's only short-term memory loss, but for you... No one told you that I would remember you for sure."

"And that's fine, too." Jae says,

"Because I fell for you again, so I'm sure I can do it a 3rd time, a 4th... Probably over and over again. And you did the same,"

Brian smiles lovingly at him as they settle into silence.

"Oh uh, I brought some burgers, if you were hungry?"

Jae's expression brightens up,

"Really?" he asks, excited.

At the same time they say,

"Is it from the diner?"

"Yeah, it's from the diner," their last 3 words syncing up.

Brian walks over to the side of Jae's bed,

"Pull up a chair," Jae says,

"You sure?"

"Yeah, it'll be easier than walking back and forth all the time."

"Still want me at your side?" Brian jokes around, wriggling his eyebrows as he brings the chair forward.

"Always," the other replies with a smile.

Brian blushes and looks away as Jae just laughs, receiving the burger and taking a bite. 

The two are enjoying the late meal, talking about random things when they hear a knock at the door and the doctor comes in.

Jae freezes and tries hiding the burger. shoving it in Brian's mouth, and the doctor just chuckles,

"Don't worry, there are no concerns nvolving your digestive system, you can eat what you want."

"Oh." Jae says, and Brian gives his burger back, laughing lightly.

"Hey, you took a bite," the other whines,

"You shoved it in my mouth, it was my first instinct."

"Do you remember him?" the doctor asks, surprised because he didn't expect such a fast recovery of memory.

"Nope," Jae says,

"But it's okay, he's done the same to me." 

The doctor looks at Brian, curious,

"I have dissociative fugue disorder," the young man explain as the doctor nods.

"Ah.. Well, I was just checking up on Jaehyung here. Looks like he's doing fine, and he has some good company,"

Brian gives him a smile,

"Doc," Jae says,

"Don't you find us weird? Like, two guys..."

Brian gives him a bewildered look, his eyes asking why Jae would even ask that. The doctor looks at him seriously for a few moments, but then breaks out into laughter.

"I've been a doctor for about 20 years, Jaehyung and I've seen countless weird things. Now, I've also been married for 15 years... so no, I see nothing weird about love." 

His response makes the two smile,

"You know what Doc, you're pretty cool." Jae says and it makes the 3 laugh.

"You're not too bad yourself, Jaehyung."

"Call me Jae, please. Jaehyung makes me feel stuffy,"

"Sure thing, Jae. You know, for a man who was just invovled in a collision, you're pretty energetic."

"I know right? He should be resting," Brian joins in,

"Excuse me, you're the one who came here and brought the burgers."

"So? You could still sleep."

"Why would I sleep when I have company, that's just rude,"

"Dude, you're recovering from a car crash, I don't think anyone would be offended if you slept a bit."

"I was asleep long enough,"

"Are you sure you don't remember him yet?" Dr.Park asks, a smile on his face

"I don't, but bickering is natural apparently."

"Yeah, 'cause you're problematic." Brian jokes and takes a fry,

"Oh really? I'm problematic? You sure about that, Mr. I didn't know who you were and had a girlfriend which made things 10 times more problematic?"

It's quiet, and then the doctor just laughs while Brian is frozen, faux offense on his face.

"You two are entertaining," he says and then proceeds to walk to the door,

"Seems like you're doing just fine Jae, so I'll be going."

"Okay, good night, Doc!"

As Dr. Park is going out of the room, he hears the bicker of,

"You just ate some of my fries,"

"I paid for them,"

"Give it back,"

"What- How? Do you want me to regurgitate it for you?" 

And the doctor just smiles to himself as he hears their soft laughter.

"You know, now I'm agreeing with Dr. Park... Are you sure you don't remember me?"

"I really don't."

"So then how are you the same,"

"Hmm. I don't really think I'm the same, I'm just being natural. I'm pretty sure if you kissed me right now, I wouldn't know what to do, and I'd probably scream."

Brian responds with laughter, and it fades away.

"You know, I wish my parents had the same response as Dr. Park..."

"Ah... yeah, Wonpil told me."

"How'd he tell you, by the way?"

"You should've seen him, he was so extra! He was all like 'You and Brian were finally getting somewhere, Eunyi broke up with you, well it's not like your relationship was real anyway. Minri, Brian's now ex-girlfriend is in the process of moving out. You guys finally had a chance! And then you go and call Eunyi your girlfriend in front of him, oh my God Jaehyung!'" Jae finishes his Wonpil impression, making Brian laugh at the accuracy, right down to the hand gestures.

Brian sighs,

"We're quite the interesting duo, aren't we?"

"I'd say. Our experiences are insane. It's like a higher power is testing our relationship," Brian passes Jae the rest of his fries and he naturally takes them.

"We'll pass," Brian says with confidence.

"Really, you think so?"

"I'll cheat if I have to-"

"No cheating. I hate cheaters,"

"Not on you, I was just saying."

Jae shakes his head in disapproval,

"Oh c'mon, you know I would never cheat on you."

"Actually I don't. Right now, I technically don't even know who you are."

"Is this how difficult I was when we first started talking?"

"I wouldn't-"

"Right. You don't know, you don't remember." Brian rolls his eyes while Jae laughs,

"Yet." Jae makes sure to add.

"I can't believe you remember everyone except me,"

"Doc said it was because I was thinking about you too much.. Although I don't know if that's actually true."

"Probably is," 

"You're so annoying," the author replies while laughing.

The two talk for hours into the night, Brian's now leaning on Jae's bed, Jae having difficulty keeping his eyes open.

"You can go to sleep, you know," Brian says. Jae waits a few moments before saying,

"When I wake up I hope I remember you."

"If you don't, I'll just make you fall again."

"I don't doubt you there," Jae says, only to add,

"Can you sing me to sleep? Wonpil said you're a musician."

"Yeah sure, any specific requests?"

"Something soft,"

"Aw man, I was hoping I could do my favourite screamo song," Brian jokes and Jae laughs light-heartedly, his eyes remaining closed. Brian takes a deep breath before starting,

_When my voice and my breath_

_After some time, are about to disappear within you_

_Sing me, once again._

_I will always wait for you, right here calmly_

_No matter how much time passes,_

_Never, don't forget me, cherish me, so that you can feel me._

_Sing me, remember me._

His voice gets weaker as he too falls asleep, his hand loosely gripped around Jae's.

When Brian awakes, he hears the hums of voices before he completely wakes up. He's still at Jae's bedside, and surprisingly his hand is still around Jae's. He straightens up, not letting go of Jae's hand, to see two adults in the room with them. He's rubbing his eye with his free hand, as he listens to the conversation,

"It's fine, he accompanied me the whole time."

"Still, Jaehyung, we were worried."

"Mom, I'm okay, Dr. Park said so," and with that Brian realizes it's Jae's parents in the room.

Brian immediately tries to let go of Jae's hand, but Jae just tightens his grip.

"Hello, Brian," his mom greets, and frankly, Brian doesn't know how to react naturally.

Jae's mom is naturally beautiful, her eyes small, mimicking Jae's, she's quite short and has short hair that makes her look classy. His dad is tall, much like Jae, and has that same bright smile.

"Hello,"

"I had to explain to them, with what memory I had that you're not Younghyun."

"This is my first time meeting your parents and I don't think I've ever been more nervous in my life." 

His parents respond in laughter,

"Don't be nervous, it's fine."

Brian suddenly becomes aware of his physical appearance state,

"Oh my Gosh, why didn't you tell me your parents were coming?! Why didn't you wake me up! I have ugly bed hair-"

"Relax. It's not that serious," Jae responds,

"Geez, I didn't know you would be this panicked."

"It's 'cause he really likes you, Jae. Your dad was the same way around my parents, he didn't know what to do with myself,"

"I still have trouble talking to your dad comfortably." Jae's dad comments, and his words are reciprocated with laughter.

The 4 go on to talk about how they reconnected, Jae's recent accident, and then Jae's mom asks,

"Brian, do your parents still have the same philosophy?" 

The question catches the man in question off guard, but he replies,

"Uh, yes... unfortunately."

"One day, they'll realize. They'll remember that you are their son, but until then... Just keep doing you, there's nothing wrong with that, okay?"

Brian gives a radiant smile,

"I will, thank you. I think I really needed to hear that,"

"Despite being Brian, you're just as sweet as Younghyun."

"Mom, he's a bully"

"I don't bully you, you start the bickering,"

And they digress.

When Wonpil visits later in the afternoon, he has a semi-serious expression on his face.

"What's up?" Jae immediately inquires, and Wonpil says,

"News got out that you were in car accident, and now fans are waiting at the front desk. Dr.Park told them that you weren't in any condition to have visitors,"

"Dr. Park is actually the best-"

"But they want a statement, Jae. There's footage of you being rolled into the ambulance, and they're wondering who accompanied you to the hospital."

"Why do you sound so serious?"

"Because last time you got involved in a 'scandal' it resulted in a fake girlfriend. I'm sorry if I seem too serious, I'm just worried."

It's quiet, and Brian suddenly feels guilty.

"So, what do you want to say?"

"Just... Just say he was just a friend, don't make a big scene out of it or else people will get even more suspicious."

And that's when the reality hit.

That's when Brian realized that he's involved with a public figure, someone with a fanbase and with tens of thousands of people that love him. He also realizes how much the words "just a friend" could actually hurt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please comment any thoughts, thank you for reading <3


	19. Please

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> twitter: @zenkrcovers | kakao: zenaya  
> feel free to message me on either, I'd love to make MyDay pals :D

The group is discussing where they should proceed from here when the door opens. They freeze and swiftly turn to see if it was a frantic fan who had slipped through security,

"It's just me." Dr. Park says, raising his hands in innocence when he notices the tense stares on him when he enters the room.

"Gosh, Jaehyung, didn't realize an author could have such dedicated fans."

Jae gives him a guilty smile,

"Did you fend them off for us?"

"You make them sound like zombies,"

"Hey. I'm fighting for survival here,"

"Shut up, Dr. Park said there are no threats to your well-being."

"You're a threat to my well-being," Jae replies and Brian responds with a fake laugh.

"Is it 'cause I'm so hot that I always make your blood pressure go up?"

"No, the only reason you raise my blood pressure is because of how problematic you are-"

"Oh, get a room." Wonpil interrupts, rolling his eyes, and Dr. Park laughs. 

"Well, for now, they're gone. For the most part, your fans seem to understand that you need the space and privacy to rest and heal."

"The buzz in the media isn't settling though."

Brian scratches the back of his head, his expression almost guilty as his eyes keep switching their focal point. He's thinking of what the statements would be, what the reactions could be, what articles might be written.

He's woken up from his concerned thoughts when Jae places his hand on Brian's,

"Hey. Don't worry, everything will be okay."

The other replies with a smile, it's uncertain at first, but becomes sincere when Jae smiles at him too.

"Don't release a statement yet, my manager can deal with it for now."

"Didn't you say to tell them it was just a friend?"

"I wasn't thinking straight so just ignore it for now."

Brian gives him a curious look,

"Okay, fair enough." Wonpil says.

When Dr.Park takes a look at his watch, he proceeds to say,

"Oh, I have to check on my other patient. See you, boys,"

"Bye, Doc!" 

"Yeah, I should get going too."

"Where are you going?"

"I started working part-time at the cafe,"

"Geez, you and Sungjin are inseparable." Brian says with a smile,

"Says the one who hasn't been to work in 2 days because he's too busy here," Wonpil replies with a playful wink and triumphant smile.

Brian scoffs and shakes his head,

"Tell Sungjin I say hey,"

"Will do." he replies as he's making his way at the door, he looks at Jae and says,

"Get better soon, yeah?"

"Yeah." Jae says and gives him a nod.

And with that, Wonpil leaves Brian and Jae.

"Hey," Jae says,

"I'm not bedridden, let's go for a walk,"

"A walk? Your fans might see us."

"Oh, yeah.. Good point." 

Brian laughs, and Jae offers an alternative,

"Then, take me up to the rooftop."

"Are we allowed up there?"

"Pretty sure, why wouldn't we be?"

Sure enough, they gain access to the rooftop. To their surprise, the rooftop is actually a park, with beautiful flower arrangements and benches spaced out. They're not the only ones up there, as Brian spots a nurse along with a patient in a wheelchair, and a teen alone on a bench.

They make their way to an empty bench in a relatively secluded area.

"Hey, what did you mean by what you said earlier?"

"What do you mean?"

"You said you weren't thinking straight when you said to release that statement."

Jae hums as he thinks of how to word this.

"Okay, I can't say for sure, but I'm assuming you and I had- have," he corrects himself,

"Something more than just a friendship right?"

Brian feels bashful to nod, but he does so anyway.

"If I had told the media that you were just a friend, but later I announced you as my boyfriend... That wouldn't look good. Also, there's you."

The other tilts his head slightly in confusion,

"Saying you're just a friend must've hurt a bit, so that's why I said I wasn't thinking straight."

"You know, you claim you don't remember-"

"I don't. I swear,"

"Don't worry, I believe you. But I just wanted to thank you for being so freakin' amazing. Just you, as a person... I'm really thankful you are the way you are. For being so understanding and optomistic despite the situation we're in... You know, recently I realized the reality of us."

"Okay wait, before you continue that, I just want to let you know that I now have no doubts that I fell for you."

It's quiet as the two just stare into each other's eyes.

"Wha- How do you expect me to just continue after you go and say that?"

"No please, continue. The reality of us..." Jae quotes as he uses his hands to gesture for Brian to continue. Brian chuckles before continuing,

"I was just thinking about all these circumstances that seem to be working against us... But, I don't think they're doing their job properly."

"What do you mean?"

"I think they're making us stronger, if anything. Rather than discouraging us, and having us think 'maybe we're not worth all this trouble' or 'this is signs from the divine telling us we're not meant to be'... We're making it through, somehow."

"Wait." Jae says, as he places a hand on his head.

Brian immediately panicks, gets up from the bench,

"What? What's wrong? Does your head hurt, Jae? Are you okay?"

"You've said something like that before."

"W-what?"

"You mentioned odds being against us... Yeah," Jae says, his smiling getting brighter as he adds,

"Before you asked me out."

It takes a few seconds for Brian to realize what Jae had just said. But once he does, he grabs Jae's hand and begins running to the exit from the roof,

"Hey, slow down my body is still sore! May I remind you I was in a car crash!" Jae practically yells as he struggles keeping up with an excited Brian

"Oh right, sorry. I just can't wait to tell Dr. Park,"

With that, Brian slows down at a reasonable speed, allowing Jae to move comfortably. Once they make it to the 2nd level, they seek out Dr. Park to tell him the good news.

Brian is barely staying still in his seat as Jae recalls his experiences with Brian clearly, Dr. Park listening intently and trying not be distracted by Brian's ecstatic reactions. Dr. Park gives Jae his guess as to why he remembered so soon, and that reason simply being Brian being at his side this whole time. The constant exposure and interaction had maybe triggered the memories, but whatever the reason was, he's glad that Jae remembers.

Like the first day they met, as the doctor is leaving the room, Brian says,

"Dr. Park, can I talk to you for a few?"

They're just outside of Jae's room but they don't lower their voices because there's no need.

"I just wanted to say thanks for being a cool doctor, you know with Jae's fans and stuff." 

Dr. Park responds with a light laugh and,

"No need to thank me, he's my patient. Just doing my job."

Brian nods, and he's about to let the doctor go back to his job when he says,

"Hey. You guys may face a lot of harships, but hang in there. You guys will make it one day."

The young male gives him a warm smile, and they part ways.

He re-enters Jae's room, and Jae is currently going through Brian's bag of snacks that he had brought.

"What do you think you're doing?"

"I'm hungry."

Brian chuckles,

"Fair enough."

Jae grabs a few mini-bags of chips, a bag of candy and an apple.

Brian stares at the apple,

"Really?"

"What? I got to keep healthy.

"An apple a day keeps the doctor away,"

"We're in the hospital. How is it supposed to keep the doctor away?"

"I was just saying a common expression, why are you attacking me?" Brian says, a hand on his heart and his jaw slacked with faux offense.

Jae scoffs, followed by laughter.

"Hey, Jae."

"Yeah?"

"Do you really remember me?"

"Well, yeah. Ask me something."

"When was our first kiss?"

Jae thinks about the question,

"Wait, what would you consider our first kiss? The one in your apartment during your birthday party, or the one where we talked about how we would proceed?"

"Wow, I guess you do remember-" Brian cuts himself off, catching what Jae said,

"Wait... You remembered kissing me at my party?"

Jae suddenly becomes aware that they had both acted like it didn't happen.

"Uh-"

Brian gives Jae a look that can only be described as amused with a hint of sass.

"Hey, you acted like it didn't happen too."

"Fair enough." he admits and adds,

"While we're on the topic, I just wanna say that I didn't necessarily hate it... Well, I mean, I hated the way it made me feel so confused and conflicted, but... I didn't hate the way your lips felt so natural on mine."

Jae starts blushing and he whips the apple at Brian,

"Shut up,"

Brian catches the apple, and looks at Jae with a sweet smile. He takes a bite, and Jae looks almost horrified,

"My app-"

"It's mine. I brought this from my place." he cuts off before Jae is able to finish his complaint.

"I really wish I could tell you that I remembered you too, entirely. I wish we could talk about our moments as teens, growing up together..."

"You know, there's a saying that we should live in the present, not in the past. If you don't remember, that's fine. If you do, that's fine too. Because, in my eyes, it's enough that you love me in the present."

The duo are currently positioned face to face, Jae's sitting comfortably in his bed, while Brian his leaning over, sitting in the chair he had pulled up the day before.

They talk about what Jae had forgotten, what their fears are, their fated meeting in Toronto. Brian's almost done the apple at this point when he says,

"Hey, can I ask you something?"

"I've heard this line so many times." and Brian can't argue with that, so he just laughs a bit before asking his question.

"Will you be my boyfriend?"

Jae just stares at him, his mouth agape.

"Please?" Brian adds, accompanied by a playful chuckle,

"I mean, you could say no but just saying, I would be extremely-"

His words are cut off by the familiar, almost natural feeling of Jae's lips. Brian wonders if this is the first nice kiss that Jae has initiated, and he can't help but smile into it.

"Yes." Jae says when they pull away, but not too far. Their faces are still close enough that Jae can admire Brian's eyes that turn into happy crescents, and Brian admires Jae's lips that are curved into a content smile.

"When I get discharged, I would like to take you out on a date." the author says, interlacing his fingers with Brian's.

"I look forward to that."

They smile at each other for a few moments, before leaning back in for another kiss.

This one is significantly longer than their previous ones, it's sweet and slow. Brian's hand is holding Jae's chin, while Jae's hand is running through Brian's now lavender hair.

Some may argue that the kiss they're currently sharing is too early, too rushed. However, they don't care. They deserve to express themselves like this, because they've been through a lot, and both of them are aware that they're most likely going have to go through much more.

They're still in that position, when they miss the knock and Eunyi walks in.

"Oh!" she exclaims, and the couple quickly part.

"I'm really sorry, I should've waited longer after I knocked." Eunyi explains,

"It's okay." Brian says, clearing his throat as he feels his face getting extremely hot.

He looks at Jae whose blushing furiously, clearly embarrassed as he refuses to look up at Eunyi.

"Hey," Minri says, quickly following behind Eunyi and Brian is thankful it was Eunyi who had caught them.

"Oh, Min.." the author says,

"Hi, sorry I couldn't visit earlier. I was dealing with new apartment stuff, and difficult movers."

"You should've helped her, I'm fine." Jae says to Brian,

"Oh no, it's fine. I would've called Brian, but Eunyi helped me." Brian shoots Eunyi a thankful smile, and she just nods in response.

"Thanks for dropping by,"

"No problem. Ah, right. I brought some food, figured you would get tired of the hospital food." Minri says, smiling as she begins to take out tupperware from the bag that was resting at her side.

"Oh you're lucky, Min's cooking is amazing."

Min shoots Brian a sweet smile,

"Not amazing enough to make you stay though."

"Oh my God." Eunyi whispers as Brian just blanks out, staring at Minri. Jae's about to say something to break the seemingly awkward silence, but Minri bursts out in laughter before he gets to. Brian shakes his head while laughing himself,

"I'm just playing."

"Thank you," the author says sheepishly, accepting the food.

"Bri," Min says,

"I need to talk to you for a minute." and with that Brian gets up from the chair, and the two make their way outside.

Eunyi and Jae proceed to have a casual conversation, Eunyi playing around saying that their date didn't end with Jae in the hospital. Jae rebuttals, agreeing but also going on to say that they basically had a crash ending.

"What's up, Min?" the latter asks once they're outside Jae's room,

"Your mom..."

Those 2 words alone cause Brian's friendly smile to go away.

"What about her?"

"When I was grabbing some stuff from the apartment, she stopped by. Asked why I was moving out, and I saw this new side to her..."

Brian continues to listen,

"Usually when she's talking to me, she's sweet, she's accepting and loving... But this morning... she was asking me all these questions, as if it was wrong to let you go. There was prosecution in her voice, her eyes and tone basically telling me that I should've made you stay, even if I knew that wouldn't have ended well for either of us."

"Hey, hey.." Brian says, placing his hands on Minri's shoulders as he notices her begin to ramble, lose control of her words due to panic.

"It's okay. Did she hurt you, did she yell at you?"

"She raised her voice a bit, but she didn't hurt me." 

Brian's eyes dart around, thinking of how to deal with his parents,

"Did you tell her where I was?"

"I said that I was pretty sure you had work today, and she seemed satisfied with that reply."

"She probably saw the articles though..." Brian runs a hand through his hair, exhaling as he thinks of his mom showing up at the hospital.

"Did they say what hospital Jae was staying at?"

"I don't think so... I hope not." 

"Why don't you and Jae elope?" Minri suggests, and laughter is Brian's response.

"That wouldn't be a bad idea if I wasn't so scared."

"Scared of what? You handle planes fine,"

"What if the move causes another relapse?" Brian asks, and Minri doesn't know how to answer.

"What happens if we're moving boxes, and I suddenly don't know whose stuff I'm carrying, whose new place I'm walking in to... I'm scared I'm not gonna know the blonde man who's looking at me, concerned, asking if I'm okay but I can't answer because I don't know who Brian is."

"I mean, I understand that I live with that risk everyday. But, last time, my sudden move to Toronto triggered a relapse, and I'm just scared... We've come so far and I don't want to lose that progress."

"If you and Jae ever need a place to hideout from your mom, here's my new address." 

Brian chuckles as Minri takes his phone, and adds that information to her contact. 

"You're the best, Min."

"Bri... Do you think you could cut ties with your mom?"

"What do you mean?"

"I'm just wondering... Because if your parents are sincerely adamant about this... You may have to choose between your parents and Jae."

"Of course, I'd want to be able to stay with both of them... But, if that's how things work out..." his voice trails off,

"I'd go with what my gut tells me to, at that moment."

And with that, the two wrap up their conversation and enter the room, to see Eunyi beating Jae with a pillow.

"Help!" Jae says in between spurts of laughter,

"She's attacking a cripple,"

"Oh shut up, you're completely fine." she says, but Min still pulls her away from him.

"That was my point-"

"What'd Jae do this time?" Brian asks,

"Why do you assume it's my fault?" Jae responds, offended but not seriously.

Eunyi is about to talk back when a voice interrupts them,

"Is bickering with everyone natural for you, Jae?" 

The crowd turns to see Dr. Park at the door, and Brian concludes that he hasn't seen him without a content smile on his face; not yet.

"Apparently. He's just a problematic person." Brian responds,

"Don't get me started again," Jae counters, a warning finger pointed at Brian, and that causes Brian to raise his hands in defeat.

"I just wanted to stop by and let you know that you can be discharged. We'd just like to do one more scan, to make sure everything is okay, and then you'd be free to go."

"Seriously?" the author says, excited

"Mhm." the doctor replies,

"Just give us a few minutes, and we'll come get you for the scan."

"Okay!"

Jae looks at Brian whose smile is just as bright as his.

"Min and I are gonna get going," Eunyi says,

"Already?"

"You have to go get scanned anyway,"

"Fair say.."

"Bye!" Minri says, waving at the two males and then proceeding to link arms with Eunyi.

They exit the room, leaving Jae and Brian alone.

"Why was she hitting you?" he asks after a few minutes of silence.

"She was calling me stupid..." Jae replies,

"Telling me she couldn't lose me to a car crash too." he turns to look at Brian with a solemn expression.

Jae explains the meaning behind her words, and finishes just in time as Dr. Park enters the room.

Brian is left alone in the room as Jae goes to get the scans done. He's just fumbling with the zipper on his sweater, when he hears footsteps approach the room, and he assumes it's Jae. Once they get close enough, he gets up,

"Hey, how was-"

Brian had spoken too soon.

It wasn't the author's familiar tall figure that walked through the doorway, but a someone of shorter stature, also familiar.

"Younghyun." his mom said, and Brian gritted his teeth.

"I'm Brian."

"Younghyun, you need to get-"

"I said." his voice is stern,

"I'm Brian. My name is Brian Kang. I'm a musician, I work at a cafe with my best friend Sungjin. My ex-girlfriend is Minri Kim and she's probably the second best thing that's happened to me... Second to Jaehyung Park."

"You better stop this nonsense-"

"No, mom..." Brian's voice is shaking, and he's not sure of the exact reason.

Maybe it's because what Minri had asked may become a near reality. Or it could be the way he's being torn between family and Jae, it may be the tears that are lining his mom's eyes.

"Right... You're _my mom._ " he says, laughing sarcastically,

"A parent. Who is supposed to love me unconditionally but _you_..." he points an accusing finger at her,

"You have a condition. It may only be one, but it's still a condition. That condition is whoever I love, whoever I settle down with and put a ring on..." he trails off, sighing in defeat,

"That person must _not_ be a man."

"Young-"

"Stop calling me that. I get it, that's my birth name, that's what's written on my birth certificate that I found." Brian says,

"But I don't get why you can't understand that I'm not Younghyun. I'm Brian Kang, and I love a man who goes by the name of Jae. I'm your son, and you can't accept that... I can't comprehend how you're so close-minded and ignorant and can't see that I truly love him."

"You don't truly love him... It's just a phase, just like when you were a teenager."

"Mom!" he breaks, and he's so immersed in the conversation that he doesn't notice Jae in the doorway.

Brian's voice is weak, as he practically begs,

"Please..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please comment any thoughts, thank you for reading! <3


	20. Selfish

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> twitter: @zenkrcovers | kakao: zenaya  
> feel free to message me on either, I'd love to make MyDay pals! :D

Jae just stands in the doorway, silent, not wanting to interrupt the current conversation.

"Brian." his mom finally says,

"Thank you!" Brian exclaims, laughing but Jae can hear that he's not happy.

Brian had spoken too soon as his mom proceeds to add,

"That is not your real name. Your name is Kang Younghyun. You're _my_ son-"

Brian cuts her off, not interested in where she was going with that sentence,

"I'm your son but I'm also Park Jaehyung's boyfriend-"

His mom's hand strikes him across the face.

Jae's eyes widen and he's about to step in, yell at the woman but he stops himself when Brian speaks up.

"Go ahead. Do that all you want, beat me up, we're in a hospital anyway." 

His voice is broken; it's tired. Those words aren't laced with anger and hate, in their place is sadness and defeat. He refuses to look his mom in the eye, but he can tell by her hand that's shaking that she's crying.

"We're moving." she says, and that causes his eyes to shoot up at her.

"What?"

"Your dad got an offer in Toronto. That job has a much better pay, and we already have a place we can settle into."

"Why're you telling me this?" Brian asks, his tone cold.

"You're coming with us."

"No," he scoffs, "I'm not."

"Yes you are, Youngh-"

"I just said that I'm not going-" he interrupts, his voice gaining volume again.

"If you don't, you will never hear from us or see us again." she cuts him off with her voice just as loud.

Brian halts. He stares at his mom, wondering what went wrong, what he could've done for things to be different. 

Jae's still listening, but he's instead of being in the doorway, he's outside, leaning on the wall. He can't look at Brian and his mom anymore. They envoke too much emotion that he's not sure he can handle properly at the moment. The author wonders if this is similar to the conversation that took place before Brian's inital move to Toronto.

Brian scoffs, looking at his mom with a smile that one may describe as twisted, and his eyes are glossy because of the tears that are there but refuse to fall.

"You're so fucking _selfish_."

His words take his mom aback, 

"Watch your-"

"Get out." he says, and it's firm.

She inhales to say something but Brian doesn't let her,

"I said get out. This is Jae's room and I refuse to let him come back and see you... And frankly, I don't want you here either."

It's quiet for a while, his mom looking for something to say but fortunately decides against saying anything. She leaves, and as she makes her way out, she sees Jae.

They make eye-contact, and Jae's eyes aren't scared; they're resolved. There are no words shared between them, but it's the unspoken that makes things even more tense.

She stutters in her steps slightly, but clears her throat and continues walking, the heels of her boots getting quieter. Jae stays outside a little longer, listening as he hears Brian sigh and then settle into what he presumes is the chair. After a few moments, Jae walks in,

"Hey!" he says with a bright smile, and Brian responds with a small one.

"Hi," the other replies,

"Dr. Park said I can be discharged."

"Really?" and he genuinely sounds excited,

"Yeah. Would you be up for chilling? At your place?"

Brian stares into his eyes and gives him a quick peck on the lips and Jae's eyes go wide,

"I would love to."

"H-Hey!" Jae stumbles on his words, and Brian giggles, going to pack his stuff quickly.

"C'mon, let's get you back out into the world." Brian is smiling put then he suddenly stops.

"I can go down first, and I'll meet you in the lobby, yeah?"

"What? Why? I can go now, let's just go together."

"But your fans.."

"Don't mind them. Seriously. This is about us, okay?"

They stare at each other for a while.

Brian felt like he needed time with Jae but he was also scared of what the media would say. He feels like he can't escape the judgement, the prejudice. He knows how his parents feel about this, but he's not sure if he's prepared if the media lashes out about it. Brian imagines the headlines, the articles talking about Jae using Eunyi to hide his sexuality, the fans he may lose, his whole career may be ruined just because-

"Brian."

Jae notices the way the other's eyes were darting around, clearly thinking about something that looked like it bothered him. Jae doesn't know how to comfort him, so he just motions toward the door and then Brian follows suit.

Jae's discharge goes smoothly with the help of Dr. Park, and the author agrees to come in within the next week, or if his head starts hurting.

Brian unlocks his apartment and walks in, placing his bag on the counter in the kitchen.

"Do you want to eat anything?"

"Are you a good cook?" Jae asks as Brian is already taking out a pan and placing it on the stove-top.

"I think I am," he replies, but his tone isn't all that convincing.

"You don't sound very confident," the author says while laughing,

"I'll try." Brian replies honestly.

Jae watches as Brian takes out cuts of pork from the freezer,

"Any requests?" 

Jae hums as he thinks,

"Chef's recommendation," he replies and Brian cracks a smile.

"But if I have to go back to the hospital after dinner, we're done."

Brian scoffs and places a hand over his heart,

"How dare you doubt my skills,"

"What skills?" Jae fires back,

"And you were doubting yourself a minute ago!"

Brian's mood dims down,

"Yeah but, not you. When I'm doubting myself, I need you to believe in me." Brian says and Jae looks into his eyes.

He can see how tired he is, how stressed he is.

"Okay." Jae says,

"I always will." 

Brian gives a small smile, and Jae gets up from the bar stool at the island,

"Want me to help?"

"That'd be great."

The couple is cooking, Jae's chopping up some red bell peppers and potatoes, while Brian proceeds to season the cuts of pork with simple spices. Jae chuckles,

"Look at you, you look like you actually know what you're doing."

"Do I?" Brian says with light laughter,

"I mean, minus the fact that you added too much oil to the pan, it's fine."

"If I don't add oil, the porkchop will stick,"

"I didn't say to not add oil, but the fat in the cut will melt so you didn't need that much oil." Jae says, sticking out his tongue

Brian laughs as he proceeds to flip the meat,

"Look at you..." he echoes

"You sound like you actually know what you're talking about."

"Gosh, you would think a barista would know _something_ about cooking," the author teases, rolling his eyes with an exaggerated sigh.

"Oh, now you've done it." Brian whispers, and Jae is already smiling.

Brian bolts forward, but the latter is already running. The chase plays out, the duo running around Brian's kitchen, even going to the living room where Brian eventually catches him. He pulls him close, and their faces are centimetres apart.

They look at each other for a while, and they both start to think of the conversation Brian had with his mom earlier. Brian moves in slowly, capturing Jae's lips in a kiss.

It doesn't last long when the two start smelling smoke. Brian immediately pulls away and runs to the stove where he proceeds to take the porkchop off the heat.

"Really?" Jae says,

"My bad." Brian replies, chuckling and adding,

"I'll take the burnt one."

The author laughs and walks up to Brian who's dealing with the porkchops, trying to not let the other one burn. He wraps his arms around Brian's waist and nestles his chin on Brian's shoulder,

"You're amazing." Jae says, but it's more of a whisper.

"You know what's more amazing?" 

"What?" replies, already smiling.

"Those potatoes and bell peppers on your cutting board."

Jae playfully whacks him in the stomach, and Brian flinches but laughs as Jae gives him the chopped up vegetables, and Brian puts them on a baking sheet lined with foil and sticks them in the oven. 

While they're waiting for the roasted vegetables to finish up, Brian begins washing the dishes while Jae sets the table, and Brian can't help but smile to himself. He likes this dynamic, this scene of them getting ready for dinner, the way Jae hugged him while he was cooking. He liked this; he wanted this for the future. Once he's done the dishes, he watches as Jae checks the oven for the vegetables.

"What do you want to drink?" Brian asks, their dinner already on the table and Jae's already seated.

"Anything is fine,"

Brian scans his fridge and decides to just grab them some fruit punch,

"Fruit punch?" Jae asks, laughing lightly because they had fancy glasses prepared.

"I don't have wine, and it's red so close enough." he replies, laughing himself.

They begin to dine, and both of them think that food from the finest restaurant couldn't top the meal they're having right now.

They talk over their meal, Jae asking how the burnt porkchop tastes and Brian replying with a comparison to intensely smoked meat. The couple talk about how Eunyi and Min are amazing friends, and also go back and forth on the topic of socks. The happiness both of them feel right now is visible in their eyes and the way neither of them let the conversation die down.

Once they finish dinner and wash the dishes, together because Jae refused to let Brian do it by himself again, they settle on Brian's couch. They're sitting close to each other, comfortably picking up the conversation from the dinner table. Brian leaves momentarily to grab them some ice cream from the freezer, upon Jae's request.

And then Brian's phone goes off.

"Who texted?" Brian asks, and Jae hesitates,

"You can look," the other confirms from the kitchen.

Jae thinks it's going to be Sungjin, maybe asking when Brian's able to come in for work, or how he's doing; but it's not. On the screen reads,

**mom: Our flight is on Wednesday, at 4PM. Your father and I already have the tickets, be sure to pack for the weather.**

For some reason, those words break him. 

They remind Jae of 4 years ago when he lost Younghyun.

The owner of the phone makes his way back to the living room, holding a bowl of ice cream accompanied by 2 spoons.

"Who was-" Brian cuts himself off when he notices the tears that are silently falling down Jae's face.

"Hey, what's wrong?" he asks urgently.

"Jae." and he doesn't get an answer.

He lightly shakes him, and then looks down at his phone. Quickly reading the text, he reverts his attention back to Jae. 

"Jae..." his voice is soft, one of his hands holding Jae's while another is resting on the author's knee.

"Are you gonna leave me again?" Jae asks and it huts both of them.

"What? No- No... I'm not leaving you." Brian says and Jae continues to cry.

"If you don't, then you'll never see your parents again."

The latter's eyes widen,

"Y-You heard that?" 

Jae doesn't nod, but simply says,

"It's either me or them, Brian..."

Brian bites his lower lip, knowing that that's the reality of the situation. 

They sit for a few moments, the only sound being Jae's quiet crying.

"Is it..." the author starts off, 

"Is it wrong if I ask you to stay?"

Brian just looks at him, not knowing how to answer,

"Is it wrong that I want you to choose me over them? I-I know they're your parents and they- they raised you and spent so much time with you..."

Jae looks into Brian's eyes and he asks,

"Is it so wrong that I want to be selfish for once?"

The latter just pulls him into his arms, hugging him and Jae's arms wrap around him.

"I don't want to lose you again. I don't wanna be left alone again... I want to call you _mine_ ; be _greedy_ with you and your attention."

Brian lets him cry into his shoulder, before he replies,

"No... No, that's not wrong. That's not wrong, you have every right to be angry, to be scared... To be selfish." 

Jae pulls out of the hug to look into Brian's eyes,

"They kept you away from me for _so_ long... It's been 4 years since I was able to feel your touch, hear your voice, look you in the eye. Last time, I just let you go. You told me that you were moving, but I let you go because you said we would talk everyday, video call each other... We said we would only be apart physically."

Brian cotinues to listen,

"I sacrificed being able to see you in person so that your parents wouldn't get upset. I supressed my feelings, I-I spent years waiting for you to come back, searched for someone that maybe recognized your tattoo and realized maybe my novel title isn't just a coincidence. I suffered meeting you again, only to find out that you don't remember me, and that you have a girlfriend..."

Jae exhales, his tears starting to stop,

"But this time... I want you to stay. I don't want to just let you go.. Not this time around; not again. I-I want us to be happy, I want _us_."

Brian takes Jae's face in his hands, and kisses him on the lips. Jae's hand combs through Brian's hair, while the other is placed on top of the latter's. Brian doesn't mind that the lonely sound of Jae's cries are replaced by their breathing that has become synced and the ruffling of their clothes when they shift positions. Neither of them break away, breathing through their noses, and Jae's grip on Brian's locks is slightly tighter. Brian's thumb traces Jae's jawline and his hand shifts to Jae's waist, pulling him closer.

The kiss is long, but neither of them are complaining. By now, the ice cream they were going to share is completely melted, but Jae concludes that Brian's lips are much sweeter than any dessert on the Earth. Jae's hand is on Brian's nape now, trying to pull him closer but there was hardly any room for air between them.

When they finally do separate, they're both breathing heavily, taking in the much needed oxygen. Their faces aren't very far away, so Jae can almost feel Brian whisper,

"I'm not leaving you."

They share another kiss, it's shorter but not lacking in emotion,

"I'm selfish for you too..." he adds, saying those words against Jae's lips.

Jae stares for a while, admiring Brian's slightly messy hair, his sharp nose, his eyes that may seem cold at first but are staring at him with such love that the author can't help but smile.

"We deserve to be selfish." Brian says, leaning in again, but before he captures Jae's lips in another chaste kiss he says,

"We deserve to have each other; to have an _us_."

Their night ends with Jae staying over, Brian refusing to let him drive home, still paranoid from the car crash. They end up sharing the bed, and if he were completely honest, Jae would admit that he feels slightly awkward sleeping in the place Min used to.

Unable to sleep, Jae shifts in the bed, turning to see Brian's broad back and his nape. He stares at the tattoo that they had gotten 4 years ago, and begins thinking of his mom's text. Before he can think any deeper, Brian turns to face Jae, still fast asleep. It's a small, quiet snoring coming from Brian that makes Jae smile and laugh silently. There's something about Brian's sleeping face that has Jae mesmerized, but also calm enough that his eyelids begin to feel heavy.

The airport is buzzing with people trying to check in their luggage, passengers running to terminals to avoid missing a flight. Amidst the buzz, the Kang parents are waiting patiently. 

"I don't think he's coming," his dad voices, and Mrs. Kang exhales,

"There's still a few minutes left. He may come." but her voice isn't confident.

A few minutes later, Mr. Kang says,

"C'mon, we might miss our flight." 

And as they're turning to go to the terminal, they hear a familiar voice shout,

"Mom! Dad!"

They quickly turn to see Brian running toward them, Jae, Sungjin and Wonpil following behind him.

"Younghyun..." she says and Brian refuses the urge to correct her.

They stand, face to face just looking at each other. The other 3 are behind Brian, leaving some space so that Brian can converse with his parents.

"Have a safe flight." he finally says, and his mom's heart aches.

Brian had spent the morning discussing with Jae what to do about his parents. They come to the conclusion that despite their way of thinking, that's still Brian's parents. They love him and want what's best for him, it's something every parent wants. However, they just can't come to terms with Brian's sexuality; but that's irrelevant. Because Brian came to terms with it, and is comfortable with it.

"Yo-" his mom is about to say, but she sees Jae and Wonpil in the back. They grew up so well, so easily recognizable from their childhood. Jae's eyes are tired, but they're also apologetic yet resolved.

"Brian." she says, and Brian waits to see if she says what she did at the hospital.

"Don't get sick, take care of yourself."

Brian feels a wave of relief tinged with sadness, realizing that his mom can only say that when they're parting.

"Y-Yeah, you too." he replies, and then looks at his dad. 

His dad clears his throat and simply says,

"Visit us sometimes, son."

Right.

Brian was their _son_. Regardless of who his lover was, what his occupation was, where he chooses to settle in the world; Brian Kang is their son. Brian gives a small smile, looks at Jae and motions from him to come forward.

Hesitantly, Jae breaks away from Wonpil and Sungjin, going to Brian's side. Brian interlaces their fingers, and says,

"We will."

Mrs. Kang looks like she's about to object, but she doesn't. Instead, she looks at Jae,

"Well, aren't you selfish." she says, and Wonpil is about to go intervene but he realizes she's smiling.

Jae tightens the grip on Brian's hand, looking down at their hands,

"Yes. But for your son only."

They share a smile that's both regretful, and apologetic. Mr. Kang is about to add something when an announcement about their flight rings through the airport.

And with that, they part with words that must be left until the next time they meet.

Brian exhales and tilts his head back with eyes closed. Jae gives him a comforting look and uses his thumb to stroke his hand. It's not that long before people recognize Jae, and the murmurs start up.

It's okay though, because from this moment on, they come to an undiscussed agreement that they would stop being concerned with other people's opinions. Instead, they would focus on theirs; be selfish for their happiness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please comment any thoughts, thank you for reading! <3


	21. Right

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> twitter: @zenkrcovers | kakao: zenaya  
> feel free to message me on either, I'd love to make MyDay pals! :D

Brian and Jae can hear the shutters of cameras, they know their photos are being taken; yet they remain like that. Their hands interlaced as they watch the Kang parents make their way to their flight. Wonpil, basically being Jae's second manager, decides to let go of Sungjin's hand to approach them and whisper,

"Hey, crowd's forming."

It's not that he's ashamed of Jae and Brian being together; he completely supports it. He's thrilled by the fact that now, they're able to live without the torment of Brian's parents. But he's just aware that the harships may continue, just from a different tormentor.

Jae nods and nudges Brian, whose focus was solely on his parents backs that he had lost sight of. Brian, coming to his senses, almost lets go of Jae's hand but he's not able to, because Jae's grip just becomes tighter.

The couple walk, behind them Wonpil and Sungjin who are asking fans to keep their respectful distance, and they quicky exit the airport. They all get into Sungjin's car, and almost immediately drive off.

It's a quiet drive, Jae and Brian in the backseat, while Sungjin's driving and Wonpil's staring outside the passenger window. The radio is playing, but it's quiet. Brian is staring at his hands that feel so comfortable in Jae's.

"Finally." he says, and closes his eyes and just holds Jae's hand tighter. Wonpil turns around, and Sungjin catches a glimpse in the rear-view mirror of Brian's smile, accompanied by Jae's.

"One hurdle down," Wonpil says, turning back around to face the road, a smile of his own on the male's face.

"Who knows how many more to go," Jae comments, looking at the scenery passing by, and Brian's smile almost fades before Jae adds with a smile,

"But who cares?"

He turns to look at Brian and they share a smile, and Sungjin can't help but smile too. Wonpil turns up the radio and the 4 enjoy a joyful car ride back to Brian's apartment.

Wonpil ignores the fact that Jae offers them something to drink as if he's been living there, and just says yes to a water as Sungjin does the same. 

Although they all just have waters, Wonpil raises for a toast and the rest of them have a curious look as they just raise their glasses anyway.

"What're we toasting to?" Brian asks, and Wonpil replies with,

"To problematic friends and complicated relationships."

The 3 laugh as they can't really dispute the statement, and proceed to clink their glasses together and take a chug of water.

"We should go drinking together one day," Sungjin comments and Jae says,

"Nope. I refuse to be drunk around him." pointing at Brian who just has an amused smile on his face.

Wonpil eyes the couple before saying,

"Yeah, let's not. I'd rather not know the reason for Jae's statement."

The 4 go on to talk about random things, Brian pointing out that this apartment is where Sungjin and Wonpil had their first chance to actually talk to each other. They're teasing each other's relationships, making fun of things that used to be sensitive subjects and Jae's midlaugh when his phone goes off. 

"Hello?" he answers and the laughter dies down.

"Y-Yeah..." and Brian's close enough that he can make out what the voice on the other line says,

"Why didn't you tell me sooner?"

Jae exhales but before he answers, Jinhae says,

"Look, I know I'm your manager... But I thought we were closer than that. If you had told me, I wouldn't have made Eunyi your girlfrie-" Jinhae cuts himself off,

"Oh my God, that must've been so uncomfortable, I-I'm so sorry."

"Wait," Jae says, his face expressing his confusion and Wonpil and Sungjin just wait for the phonecall to end to get the whole story.

"Y-You're not mad at me? Disgusted?"

"What the Hell, why would I be disgusted? You're you Jae, I wouldn't be mad at you for that."

Brian smiles hearing Jinhae's response,

"I just wish you would've told me earlier... It's gonna be hard to explain to papers why you've gone from dating Eunyi to having a boyfriend within like 2 weeks,"

Jae puts on an apologetic smile and Wonpil figures he's had enough of trying to decipher the conversation through the author's facial expressions, and grabs the phone to put the call on speaker.

"Sorry!" and they hear Jinhae's soft chuckle. The author takes a chance,

"Hey... Do you think it'd be possible to do a press conference with all the reporters?"

"When? For what? Wait, I don't trust you," Jinhae replies and Jae laughs,

"Wouldn't it better to just tell the truth to everyone?"

The other line is quiet and the 4 await the manager's answer.

"Maybe not just yet." Wonpil nods in agreement, as expected.

"I'm completely supportive of your relationship, Jae. I'm sure he's a great guy and I'm really happy that you found someone to make you happy... But, as your manager I'm going to remind you that the public may not have the same view as me. I have to remind you that there are fans of you out there that idolize you, that would be completely heartbroken if they found out that you had a boyfriend; a serious one at that..."

Jae chuckles sadly and it pains the 3 around him as he says,

"Oh yeah... Guess that's my reality, huh?" in between sad laughter

"But." Jinhae says,

"That all being said, I do support you in doing the right thing." 

Jae's mood picks back up, and 

"Just be patient, and I'll see what I can do about that press conference, okay?"

"Yeah! Thanks, Jinhae.." the author responds,

"Okay. There's someone else calling, and now I have to deal with these airport photos of you and your boyfriend." the manager says, sighing as Jae just laughs,

"Sorry, again! Do you wanna meet him?"

Brian suddenly panics as if Jae had just planned for him to meet his parents; which he has already done.

"Sure, whenever you guys have time. Okay, I gotta go, it's Reporter Lee and I'd rather not give him more reason for suspicion,"

"Okay, bye Jinhae!"

"Bye!" he says, and immediately ends the call with Jae.

The 4 just stare at Jae's phone, neither of them really knowing what to say.

"Are you sure about this, Jae? The backlash could be insane..." Sungjin says and Wonpil looks at him, surprised.

"Geez, who are you? Wonpil?" the author asks while laughing,

"I'm just saying..."

"Yeah. I'm sure. If I lose all my fans, then..." Jae thinks of what he could do, what he may have to do.

"Then, I do. I think I'd rather be comfortable and happy than continue to hide."

Brian stares at Jae whose eyes are fixated on his phone, and he's about to thank Jae for his response when Wonpil comments,

"Well, I mean if anything, you could just write under a different pen name." and proceeds to take another sip of water.

Brian looks at him, shaking his head at his rational thinking while Jae's just speaking from his heart.

"What? It's smart-"

"Just drink your water," Sungjin says, shoving the glass in Wonpil's face.

Jae and Brian laugh in response and then the 4 integrate back into their random subjects of conversation. 

When Jae and Brian see the other couple off, Brian asks,

"Hey, do you mind staying the night?"

And it's his tone that makes Jae say,

"Yeah, sure."

Jae's comfortable in Brian's apartment at this point, and it's almost natural for him to go through Brian's closet to find something to wear for the night. Brian knocks before entering his own room, and he admits he finds that weird, but he just wants to make sure Jae's done changing.

"Yeah?" Jae calls from inside, and Brian opens the door to find Jae already in bed, just on his phone.

"Hey,"

"Hi," he replies and chuckles, putting his phone down and watches as Brian makes his way to the other side of the bed.

"Sorry for suddenly asking you to stay,"

"No, no it's fine! I don't mind staying here," Jae ensures and he refuses to blush as Brian takes his hand his own, and leans on his shoulder.

"I just... I just _need you_ tonight." Brian says and then Jae becomes aware of what happened today.

Today, they said goodbye to Brian's parents. Today, they went to the airport where his parents were waiting, and for the first time, he heard his mom call him 'Brian' comfortably. They came around, but just a little too late, they held hands in public while Jae's fans took photos...

Today, Brian chose Jae over his parents.

Jae's thumb strokes Brian's hand as Brian proceeds to lean his head on the latter. Brian's eyes are closed as he just processes everything, trying not to breakdown because he honestly wouldn't know how to explain himself.

"Thank you." the author says.

"For choosing me today, for not letting go of my hand despite that meaning you may not see your parents again... Thank you for staying."

Brian smiles to himself,

"I knew I needed you." he says and Jae just smiles.

He places a kiss atop Brian's head and Brian becomes flustered, and Jae leans his head back on Brian's.

"Thank you." Brian echoes.

Their voices are soft as they go on to talk about the more serious things of life. They turn into whispers as Brian talks about his parents, Jae responding with childhood stories, his eyes closed as he reminisces.

They fall asleep in that position, it surprisingly being comfortable, or maybe it's just because it's them. Jae didn't realize how easy it was to fall asleep leaning on someone else's head, and was surprised that his hand wasn't sweaty. Brian realizes how comforting it is to just fall asleep with Jae, just having him at his side.

The couple wake up to sore necks, and they laugh it off while they proceed to go make some morning coffee and breakfast. Jae waits for his classic Iced Americano, Brian-homemade-style, and he thinks it tastes just as good, if not better than the one from the cafe. Jae helps make breakfast and Brian's once again reminded of how much he likes this atmosphere. Thinking about it, he likes waking up next to Jae, seeing the way Jae stretches and yawns in the morning is adorable.

Jae saying,

"Earth to Brian," is what pulls him out of his fond thoughts, and he hums in response. Jae chuckles, already knowing he wasn't listening,

"I asked if you would wanna meet my manager."

"How could you give me a heads-up about meeting your manager but not your parents?" Brian asks, placing the plate of waffles in front of Jae, who's laughing to himself.

"Good point... But, I couldn't really control that, they visited me in the hospital!"

Brian shakes his head, making his way to the fridge to bring out some fresh fruit,

"Fine, I'll make it up to you. We'll have dinner together, and you can formally meet them." and the other smiles.

"Yes, I would like to meet your manager," he finally answers the question and Jae rolls his eyes, but Brian doesn't see as he's looking for the blueberries he could've sworn he bought.

Once he finally does find them, he turns and is almost left in awe by the simple picture. Jae, sitting at the table, his head resting in the palm of his hands as he just looks out the window.

"Hey," Brian says, finally sitting down and putting down the fruit. Jae proceeds to decorate his waffles with ingredients of his choice,

"Yeah?" he replies, not taking his eyes off the plate as he picks up his cutlery.

"Would you wanna move in with me?"

Jae's eyes widen as he quickly turns his attention to Brian,

"I-Uh-Sorry! That was really random, and it's probably rushed, I'm sorry, I just really liked waking up to you and going to bed by your side." Brian rambles, speaking at speeds Jae was oddly impressed by.

"Sorry, disregard that question." Brian repeats quietly, blushing furiously as he reaches for the syrup, refusing to look Jae in the eye.

"Yeah." Jae says, smiling sweetly as he watches Brian look up slowly,

"Yeah, I'd love to move in with you."

The rest of the breakfast consists of them discussing possible move-in dates, and them agreeing that they'll most likely wait until after the press conference that Jae wants to have. While they're washing the dishes together, Jae gets a phonecall.

"Morning, Jinhae," he says, answering the call.

"Hey, you busy?"

"Not really, just washing some dishes."

"Oh, okay. Would you be free to meet me sometime this week?"

"Oh! Actually, about that, would you be up to meet my..." Jae smiles to himself as he's able to say,

"My boyfriend?" 

Brian smiles as he rinses the dishes,

"Sure. When and where?"

"I guess we could meet at the usual place?"

"Any other suggestions, I think we need some privacy."

"Oh.. Then my place? This Sunday at 7?"

"Sounds good. Do I have to dress nice?"

"I don't know, you don't need to impress him, he's mine." Jae jokes but Brian loves hearing that from him.

Jinhae laughs and replies,

"Fair enough. Okay, see you and your boyfriend then, Jae!"

"Bye, Jinhae," Jae says and the call ends.

Jae turns to see Brian staring at him with an amused expression,

"What?" the author asks, and Brian makes his way toward him

"Hearing you call me yours makes me so freakin' happy." he replies honestly, hugging the other and Jae wraps his arms around him. 

"It makes me happy too,"

"Not as happy as you make me though," Brian says, pulling away and making his way to the room to go change.

"You're so lame,"

And Jae loves Brian's melodic laugh that resounds through the apartment.

"Do I look okay? The shirt and the pants don't clash, right?"

"Brian. It's just my manager, you don't need to stress!" Jae assures.

They're currently in Jae's kitchen, setting up for their expecting guest.

"I wanna make a good impression!" he argues, and Jae sighs.

"He's really chill, trust me." he says, and then they hear a knock at the door.

"Oh my God, he's here already?!" Brian whispers,

"Yeah, he has a fob to this building," he replies, making his way to the door. He notices Brian's shocked expression,

"He's my manager. At least he doesn't live with me." and Brian rolls his eyes.

Jae opens the door to reveal Jinhae, and Brian can't see him yet as he's in the kitchen. He hears them exchange a few words,

"...considering the last time I saw you was to tell you had a girlfriend."

"Oh yeah... I really hated you then,"

"You should've spoken up!"

Brian concludes that Jinhae's voice in person is slightly deeper compared to what comes through on a phone. They make their way into the kitchen, and Brian finally sees him.

Jinhae's wearing something simple yet nice; a polo shirt paired with some black ripped jeans. His black hair is styled upwards, and Brian notices the watch on his wrist, and how young he looks.

"This is Brian Kang," Jae introduces,

"My boyfriend." he continues, proudly. 

Jinhae extends his hand out to Brian, and has a friendly smile on his face,

"Hey, nice to meet you, I'm Jae's manager, Jinhae."

"Hi, yeah, I've heard about you from Jae." Brian replies, shaking his hand and he likes the positive vibes Jinhae gives off.

"You hungry?" Jae asks, motioning towards the table,

"Yeah!" he responds naturally, and the 3 seat themselves at the table.

Jinhae and Brian go into further depths about themselves, talking about Brian's occupation, and upon the mention of being a freelance musician, Jinhae tells him he'll see if he has any connections to labels. Jinhae is enjoying the dinner, complimenting and thanking the couple and Brian isn't awkward anymore.

"Oh right, I wanted to talk you about that press conference you brought up."

Jae swallows the bite that was already in his mouth,

"What about it?" he asks, slighty nervous.

"Well, like I told you, you have to be patient..."

Jae nods, and Brian just thinks about the day Jae officially lives with him just getting further away.

"But, not that patient." Jinhae says with a smile,

"Make sure you guys are free next Monday, so a week from tomorrow."

"Seriously?" Brian chimes in, with wide eyes,

"Yup. I'll call in the reporters, and we can tell them the whole story. Oh, also reach out to Eunyi, I think it'd be best to have her there." Jinhae informs and takes another bite of the dinner.

"Just make sure you guys are prepared for the worst, yeah? It'll be open to select fans, so maybe don't wear any of your favourite clothes just incase they start throwing stuff at you,"

Jae and Brian laugh, but deep down they know that could really happen.

"I think it's best that you guys tell them the complete truth, rather than your name and image being ruined by rumours."

"You got a cool manager," Brian says to Jae

"Yeah. Minus the time where he handed me a girlfriend,"

"See, you could've easily spoken up, so don't try and blame it all on me." Jinhae defends himself

"No, it wouldn't have been easy. Our relationship is a lot more complicated than you may think, okay?" the author replies with a smile.

"It's just him that's problematic," Brian jokes and Jinhae nods in agreement,

"He really is."

"I don't appreciate you guys teaming up on me." Jae says, and the other 2 just laugh in response.

"Oh, if you're gonna reveal the whole truth at the press conference, do you mind telling me first?" Jinhae asks, and adds

"I'd rather not have photos taken of my genuine initial reaction to your story."

The next almost half an hour consists of Jae and Brian telling the story of their relationship, together. Finishing each other's sentences and filling in little details that the other may have forgotten. Jinhae's listening intently, and sometimes the couple would laugh at his reactions. By the end, Jinhae's expression is just amazement and awe.

"Wow..." he says,

"Right?" Brian comments, shaking his head in his own disbelief.

"How.. What..." Jinhae just sighs, not knowing what to question and just leans back in his seat.

"That's pretty intense." he says and the couple just laughs.

The night ends with them just talking about the details of the press conference, when to be there, they also discuss favourite animals which Jinhae's is revealed to be a koala. It's almost 10pm by the time they see him off and tell him they'll see him in a week.

"He's pretty cool," Brian comments,

"I told you. You were stressing for nothing," Jae replies,

"You have a nice place..." the other comments, looking around at Jae's apartment. It's simple and modern

"Yeah, but I gotta start packing soon."

Brian looks at Jae who's looking back at him with an excited smile.

"Yes, indeed you do." he replies and makes his way to Jae, wrapping his arms around his waist.

They're smiling as their faces get closer and Jae's habitually closes his eyes, and sure enough Brian's lips are on his. It's just a quick little kiss, but it still leaves them smiling for the rest of the night.

Before any of them know it, it's already the day of the press conference. Currently in a little room separate from the main hall, there are 4 adults on the verge of a breakdown.

"I can't believe I'm about to admit to a fake relationship," Eunyi says,

"I'm about to admit that, plus the fact that Brian's my boyfriend," Jae replies,

"I have to admit that it was my mom that slapped Jae, and then try and convince his fans that I mean no harm and I'm not a gold digger."

They exchange looks and eventually laugh at their words, realizing they sounded like they were trying to out-do each other.

"Okay, guys. You ready?" Jinhae asks, and they nod and make their way to the room. Eunyi walks ahead of them, talking to Jinhae to relieve her nerves, while Jae and Brian are walking and holding hands.

As they get closer, they can hear the buzz of reporters and Jae takes a deep breath while Brian just holds his hand tighter.

"We're doing the right thing, right?" Brian asks for reassurance, scared that Jae's career will be ruined by the end of this.

Jae looks at him and gives him a comforting smile as he answers,

"Right."

With that, they unlink their hands and make their way into the conference room. The shutters of huge cameras that are in the front row are loud, but the 3 that are currently taking their seats can swear the pounding of their hearts is louder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please comment any thoughts, I'd love to know! thank you for reading. <3


	22. Believe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> twitter: @zenkrcovers | kakao: zenaya  
> feel free to message me on either, I'd love to make MyDay pals! :D

The 3 adults settle into the seats that are situated in front of the reporters, behind a table with microphones for them to speak in. Jinhae decides to make his way to the reporters in the front, probably making a warning of keeping the articles truthful to what is about to be said.

Jae is seated in the middle while Brian and Eunyi are on either side, all of them nervous, but Jae's voice isn't shaking as he says,

"Thank you all, for coming here today."

They hear the high screams of presumed fans and Jae just gives them a small smile and nod.

"I'd like to ask for question to be held off until the end. Please give us a chance to explain ourselves and the situation, and then you may ask for clarification or any elaboration. Can we agree on that?" Jae asks, and Brian wonders if it's just his imagination or his boyfriend's whole demeanour just changed.

Upon seeing the majority of the reporters and fans nod, Jae proceeds to say,

"Thank you. Now, the reason I've asked for this conference to be arranged..." he takes a deep breath and suddenly misses the feeling of Brian's hand in his.

"Is because I want to tell you guys the truth."

Brian and Eunyi are facing forward, looking for a familiar face in the crowd that they know they won't find, just something to focus on.

"You guys may recognize the girl to my left, Eunyi."

She waves sheepishly at the crowd,

"She was introduced to you guys as my girlfriend. And if you know that, you know that we broke up." Eunyi nods and Jae gives her a smile before turning his attention to his right.

"The guy to my right, however, may be a face you've never seen before."

Brian's looking at Jae with an expression that's a mixture of anxious yet happy.

"He's handsome, right?" Jae asks and his fans reply with a,

"Yes!" and that causes the 3 to laugh.

The atmosphere at the moment is odd. For now, it's positive, the mood uplifted after Jae's previous question. But it's like that unsettling happiness, that sense of security right before a storm hits, right before everything comes crumbling down and one doesn't know if things will be okay.

"Hmm..." Jae hums into the mic,

"Actually, I think we'll give you guys a little introduction. You may think you know me, but you know what tabloids and interviews decide to put out. You think you know Eunyi, but you know what the confirmed articles say about her. And him," the author says, pointing at Brian

"You don't even know his name."

Brian and Eunyi find themselves admiring how Jae is speaking at the moment. Their hearts are racing meanwhile Jae's voice is so steady that they become envious. His words are smooth, and he sounds prepared but they all know he didn't write out a script the night before. The author is casual as he says,

"My name is Park Jaehyung. I really prefer being called Jae, seriously, if you call me Jaehyung we're most likely not close at all. I'm an author, most of you know that. I'm 24 years old. Some of my favourite things in the world include books, Iced Americanos, my friends and family... and dandelions. I have a tattoo, most of you probably don't know that, but now you do. Oh yeah, and I really like comfortable sweaters,"

"It's true. His sweaters feel like you're being hugged by a cloud." Eunyi adds, and the comment is replied with light laughter.

Jae sits back, gesturing for either one of them to introduce themselves.

"Hi! I'm Eunyi, more commonly known as Jae's ex-girlfriend," she laughs a bit before continuing,

"Like Jae, I like Iced Americanos. I appreciate long drives at night and singing along to the radio, and I love comedy movies. I'm 23, yeah I know I look young,"

Brian's laugh is a lot louder than he intended it to be, and Eunyi shoots him a glare while the crowd laughs a bit too.

"Anyway!" Eunyi says, laughing along with the 2 men to her right, and she adds

"Right now, I'm just a freelance actress."

And that causes the whispers to start. It's a dull buzz, but the 3 know that now the crowd is talking. Eunyi looks at Jae, her expression asking if she's said something wrong, and Jae just smiles and shakes his head. The author thinks,

_Good. Let them think, let them have a chance to wonder 'if Eunyi's an actress then...'_

Brian clears his throat before speaking into the mic,

"Uh, hello."

And the buzz starts again. Jae smiles as he wonders what his fans are talking about. Probably Brian's low voice that's a little raspy but smooth for the most part. Or maybe it's his sharp features, or his cold eyes that look so enchanting when he's smiling.

"My name is Brian Kang, I'm the same age as Jae, 24. I work as a barista at a cafe with my bestfriend, but I like to call myself a musician." Brian thinks for a bit, not knowing what else to say,

"Oh I also have a tattoo. I studied in Toronto, Canada for a bit and I like writing songs, just relaxing at home and I like horror movies."

Brian sits back and Jae says,

"Okay! Now that you know us, you're probably wondering how we're all connected, because we are in some way. That's why we're here in front of you today, to tell you guys. We asked you guys to come here so that we could tell you guys the truth."

The 3 exchange glances, and it's quiet for a while. There's so much to say, so much to clarify and make known, and Brian and Eunyi are waiting for Jae to start. The reporters look more than ready, hands at their laptop and the fans are practically on the edge of their seats.

And so, it begins.

"So, to start off..." Jae says, and looks at Eunyi,

"Us 2." the author gestures between him and Eunyi and continues, "We never really dated."

Brian can hear the people in front of them typing. Eunyi nods, as the buzz starts up again.

"Yup. That article confirming our 'relationship' was confirming something that wasn't even true." she says and continues on,

"But upon hanging out with him and having to act like we were dating, I came to realize that he's actually really great, and that's why I came here today. I could've asked for my privacy to be protected, but the fact that Jae actually wants to reveal the truth is something I really hope you guys keep in mind while listening to what we have to say, today."

Jae says,

"I'm sorry that I lied to you guys about that, and I'm really thankful that you guys actually supported our 'relationship'." he scratches the back of his neck before saying,

"You guys are probably curious as to why we were in a fake public relationship. That's the more complicated truth that may cause an uproar, but... I'm tired of hiding it."

Brian patiently waits his turn to talk, and he feels like it's coming soon.

"Do you guys remember when Eunyi and I's relationship was announced?" he asks, and he sees a few fans nod.

"Did you guys find it interesting that it was announced right after that big thing with that woman and I at the airport? If not... then our relationship did its job... It distracted you."

Eunyi is just twirling her thumbs, silently encouraging Jae and Brian with her comforting expression.

"That woman who slapped me..." Jae takes a breath and then Brian chimes in,

"Is my mom."

Jae looks to his right, and gives Brian a smile and that pushes Brian to continue, ignoring the buzz that seems to just get louder.

"Before I say anything else, I just wanna make a quick disclaimer that Jae and I are absolutely not enemies... But, I'll just apologize on behalf of my mom. Now, the reason she slapped him... Uh..."

His voice trails off, searching for how to explain this and bracing himself for the reaction. His eyes are fixated on the table, some overwhelming emotion not allowing him to look up at the expectant faces.

"Was because I like Jae. _A lot._ Like, not as a friend... but as in I like him so much that want to hold his hand everyday, I want to be the one he wakes up to in the morning." Brian tries his best to ignore the surprised faces in the crowd, and the whispers that seem like screams at the moment.

"And so, my mom couldn't accept that. No way would she let her _son_ fall for someone else's _son_."

Jae looks at Brian and wishes he could just hold his hand right now,

"Within the time Eunyi and Jae were 'together', I actually had a girlfriend, myself. But at some point, I couldn't see her as my girlfriend anymore. She's great and she noticed me changing. She noticed that she didn't have my full attention anymore and the reason was him," Brian looks to his left, finding comfort in Jae's eyes. 

"I like him too, so it's not a one-sided thing." Jae says, laughing a bit,

"Actually, I've liked him for a while. When I wrote 'Float On...', that novel was me trying to reach out to him. What I said during an interview, about me not dating anyone before, that was true. Because his parents wouldn't accept us if we dated. And yeah, things hurt. The slap hurt, but a lot of things hurt like Hell. Seeing him with a girlfriend, having to deal with my emotions by myself... Having to hide this side of me from you guys, the public, because let's face it; there are gonna be people, maybe even people in this room, that are disgusted with the idea of a man dating another man."

The room is quiet, everyone trying to process everything except the reporters who are typing, trying to quote whoever and whatever they can to get an accurate article.

"I put him through so much crap..." Brian admits, smiling to the ceiling but it's not a happy smile.

" _So_ much crap that he could've avoided, and just be with someone who wasn't so problematic and difficult to be with. He could've stayed with Eunyi to avoid the backlash from homophobic people, or he could've been with a guy whose parents are fully supportive, or just someone that has no chance of waking up one day and not knowing who he is."

The author's expression is concerned, he almost wants to tell Brian that he doesn't have to reveal his condition to everyone, that he doesn't have to explain himself.

"I have this condition, and it basically consists of this constant possibility of me suddenly not knowing who I am, where I am, who's around me. It basically resets my memory... I can't control it, and I have no idea of telling when it's gonna happen... And the fact that he basically lives with that same worry, alongside me is something I'll always be sorry for."

"I want to make this clear to everyone listening, and to those who will be reading whatever the reporters decide to release... I am _happy_. I'm so much happier than I was months ago. A couple of months ago I was waiting...Waiting for something I didn't even know for sure would return. I would sometimes feel bad for smiling, or doing something that made me happy, but now..."

He makes eye contact with Brian and for a few seconds they forget that they're not the only 2 in the room. But that feeling of being alone amidst a crowd never felt so amazing than just then.

"Now, I'm so happy. And I... I don't want to hide it anymore. I want to be able to show him off, show off my happiness that I lost for a while."

Looking at his fans, Jae can't tell if they feel disgusted, angry, offended, betrayed, or happy for him.

"Before we take any questions, I'll just ask that you guys listen to another introduction from us. Once again, I'm Park Jaehyung and I'm in a relationship, a serious one," Jae clarifies, "with Brian Kang."

Eunyi leans forward,

"I'm Eunyi, Jae's _fake_ ex-girlfriend."

Brian tries to contain his smile as he says,

"I'm Jaehyung's boyfriend, Brian Kang."

The 3 are looking out to the crowd, preparing for the worst and looking for some kind of clue within the expressions of the fans.

One of the girls stand up, catching all of their attention, and the couple prepares for maybe something being thrown at them. Or maybe, she's going to walk out, clearly not supporting Jaehyung anymore, or she's going to scream something repulsive and insensitive towards them, they're bracing themselves for anything.

"It's okay!" is what she screams, with a huge smile on her face.

"We still love you!" another voice calls out, and Jae and Brian catch themselves smiling.

"At least he's handsome!"

"We're happy that you're happy! Have a healthy and happy relationship!"

Soon enough, the screams of support just turn into a cheer, and the couple look at each other. Their eyes are teary, but it's happy tears. Both of them feel like a huge burden has been lifted off their shoulders, and they resist the urge to kiss right then and there. Eunyi is smiling too, relieved and happy that this was the response they received. Brian catches a glimpse of the reporters who are smiling, typing as the supportive cheer just continues.

When things finally settle down, the 3 are just left in awe. Neither of them speaking, just exchanging glances of amazement and happiness. Jinhae is watching, proud and glad that they held this press conference.

It's quiet, and Jae's about to say something when a fan yells,

"Thank you for telling us! Stay happy!"

And that causes a wave of 'thank you's from the crowd, and Jae is overwhelmed with gratitude. He starts to cry, a smile on his face as he echoes,

"Thank you." and Brian joins in,

"Thank you!"

After another cheer, the 3 start taking questions from reporters. Brian clarifies his condition, Jae talks about the state of their relationship, and Eunyi elaborates on her career and that her and Jae actually get along really well. The press conference ends with good vibes, Jinhae making another warning to the reporters, and saying thank you to those gathered at the conference. 

The 3 stand up from the table, and bow. All of them smiling as they wave, and unlike how they walked in, Jae and Brian hold hands, and all of them have a smile on their face.

Meeting back in the room they were initially waiting in, the mood is much different. Jinhae's smiling as he walks in,

"Hey," he says,

"I'm really proud of you guys, all of you. And you, your fans are the best," Jinhae adds, directed at Jae,

"Yeah, I know. I gotta give them another novel soon, my token of gratitude." he replies, laughing as he naturally links hands with Brian.

"Within the next few days, a lot of attention is gonna be on you guys. The stuff you revealed today is bound to cause some kind of reaction, so just be aware of that."

"As expected of my manager," Jae says, nodding as if he's impressed with Jinhae's words,

"Shut up," he responds, laughing and the group laughs too.

"Thanks, Jinhae... For making this whole thing happen." 

"Are you kidding? You're the one who wanted this to happen, I didn't even do anything. I called people and advertised it, you guys are the ones who did the most here."

They talk a bit more, all of them sharing the surprise of the fans' reactions. It's a pleasant surprise and the positive mood stays with them in Jinhae's car, dropping all of them off to avoid any press following them home. Jae gets off at Brian's apartment, and they partically run inside as instructed by Jinhae. They elevator ride up seems painfully long, and they almost race into Brian's unit. 

Once they're inside, they almost immediately hug, Brian lifting Jae despite him being taller, and spinning around. The smile on Jae's face is so enchanting that Brian whispers,

"Oh my God..."

"What?" Jae asks, his arms around Brian's neck as he doesn't break eye contact

"I'm so happy that you're mine."

The author blushes and he kisses Brian but both of them smile soon enough. Jae runs around the apartment, and Brian acts out the urge to chase him. Jae runs into the bedroom and jumps on the bed where he just lays there and smiles.

"I get to live here, now."

Brian's smile is wide as he joins Jae on the bed, laying beside him,

"I get to hold your hand in public, and- and we can go on dates! We don't have to hide it- hide us... God, this is amazing! This happiness is surreal, am I dreaming?-"

Jae's ramble is cut off by another sweet kiss. Jae practically melts into it, and Brian pulls away slowly, looking into Jae's eyes.

"I'm so head over heels for you, it's unbelievable." he says, and the latter just smiles and responds,

"Believe me when I say that I'm just as crazy for you as you think you are for me..."

As they talk about the events of today, their position changes so that Jae's head is resting in Brian's lap, and Jae wonders how he still manages to look so breathtaking at that angle. Brian's playing with Jae's hair mindlessly, talking about Jae crying at the conference and the author tells him he has no right to mock considering he was teary-eyed too.

Jae decides to go home that night, Brian's cute pout not convincing him to stay, his reason being he wants to spend a little time in his apartment before he has to move out.

The author enters his apartment that feels a bit empty, for some reason, and he makes his way to his room where there are already boxes that have a few of his things inside. He showers and gets into some comfortable clothing before sending Brian a good night text. Laying in his bed, he smiles again. The overwhelming happiness, the unexpected response from the fans, the idea of holding Brian's hand in public... 

All these things that Jae's so happy about, even the happiness itself, is something that he describes as unbelievable.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please comment any thoughts, I'd love to know! thank you for reading. <3


	23. Dream

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> twitter: @zenkrcovers | kakao: zenaya  
> feel free to message me on either! I'd love to make MyDay pals! :D

Jae awakes to bright sunrays that are making their way into his bedroom, shamelessly shining into his eyes, causing him to squint. It takes a few seconds for him to process why his heart feels so light, why his dream was so pleasant, and why his bed felt like a cloud. He wonders if it was all a dream and he's getting up to get ready for the press conference that has yet to take place; but that concern is completely shoved aside when he reads Brian's text waiting on the screen on his phone.

**brian: good morning, sunshine.**

Jae smiles at the lame nickname and proceeds to read the rest of the series of messages that Brian had sent him.

**brian: sorry, guess nicknames aren't our thing yet huh? lol**

_Yet_. Jae repeats in his mind which then goes on to wander, thinking about what other nicknames may come into their relationship in the future. Although, he does like Brian's name as it is.

**brian: just wanted to say good mornin cause your good night text was really cute and i couldnt let you beat me. also, needed to make sure yesterday wasn't a dream. (:**

The author stares at his screen, internally squealing at how sweet Brian is, and trying not to start rolling around in his bed, reminding himself that he is a grown man and not a teenage girl who just got noticed by her crush. He proceeds to type out a reply,

**jae: good morning! just woke up, sorry for the late reply. glad you texted cause i thought it was a dream too.**

He hits send, and decides to actually get out of bed, passing by the boxes that remind him of something that also seems like a dream. He brushes his teeth before trying to fix his hair which doesn't cooperate and the author eventually just gives up; telling his hair to do what it wills. Jae's halfway done making himself some breakfast when Brian texts back

**brian: are you busy today? i know its lame cause i just saw you yesterday but i feel like i need to see you.**

**brian: today. :)**

He chuckles to himself, flipping his omlette and placing it on a plate before replying,

**jae: i wanted to pack so that you could see me everyday**

It only takes a few seconds for Brian to send back,

**brian: wOW OK NOW I REALLY NEED TO SEE YOU**

Jae laughs, giving himself a little pat on the back for his successful attempt at what he may call teasing. 

**jae: wanna come over and help me pack?**

**brian: ok, on my way**

**jae: what**

**jae: no! not now, later! i look like crap rn**

**brian: shut up, no you don't. i'm coming**

**jae: yOU CAN'T EVEN SEE ME! DON'T COME, I WONT OPEN THE DOOR**

**brian: we both know thats a lie!!**

**jae: bri, srsly don't**

**brian: i'm getting in my car rn see you soon!**

Jae stares at his phone is disbelief. He groans as he runs to the bathroom, trying to fix his hair again and once that doesn't work, he runs back to the kitchen to make some breakfast for Brian. He's halfway through making another omlette, and adding sugar to some coffee when he hears a knock at his apartment door. He puts on his hood, drawing the strings so that his hair isnt exposed, and he opens the door with a pout.

"Morning," Brian says, a huge smile on his face that contrasts Jae's expression.

"Oh c'mon, don't give me that face, I know you're happy to see me."

And with that, Jae cracks into a smile, not denying Brian's words. Brian walks in, and suddenly gets close to Jae's face, and the author instinctively retreats into his hood. Brian stares at his face, as if observing something, before commenting,

"You look cute without glasses,"

Jae turns a faint pink before saying,

"Get out-" and he goes to push Brian, but Brian's reaction time is a lot faster than Jae anticipates and he picks him up, just like yesterday, and for some reason Jae screams.

That scream turns into laughter once Brian puts him down on the couch before placing a chaste kiss on his lips. Brian's hovering above Jae, looking down with such love and happiness that Jae can't help but kiss him again. They're just staring at each other when Jae remembers that he's got an omlette on the stove, and Brian smells the smoke as Jae runs to try and salvage the eggs.

"Okay." Jae says, turning to Brian who's making his way to his boyfriend's side,

"Once we live together, we need to make a rule that we can't be lovey-dovey while we're cooking. That's gonna result in a lot of burnt food."

Brian laughs in response,

"Deal. I'll cooperate with any rule once I live with you," he says, a sweet smile on his face.

Jae gives a sinister smile before saying,

"Oh really? Okay then, no kissing, we're sleeping in different rooms-"

"I take that back." the latter cuts him off, and Jae laughs.

They share some words over breakfast, mainly discussing the amount of supportive comments on Jae's social media after the articles of the conference were released.

"I get to show you off, now." Jae says,

"And I, you." the other replies, his chin in his hand as he looks at Jae.

"Okay!" Brian exclaims, shooting up from the kitchen chair and clapping his hands together once,

"Let's start packing,"

"But the dishes-"

"The dishes can wait... I can't." Brian says,

"Well, hate to burst your bubble but I'm not moving out with dishes still in my sink." 

The latter pouts and gives in,

"Fine, fine, we'll do the dishes. Then we'll pack!"

Light laughter escapes Jae's lips as he goes to the sink. 

Once they're done the dishes and exchanging some lame yet sweet words, they go to pack up. They're going through Jae's collection of miscellaneous toys and magnets he's accumilated from those stress-relieving travels he takes.

"Would you be up for a trip with me one day?"

"Definitely. We could go back to Toronto if you want."

Brian thinks a bit, images of his friends, familiar restaurants and stores, and even his parents popping into his head.

"Yeah..." he says while nodding, and adds,

"Maybe."

They hear a knock at the door, and Brian looks at Jae suspiciously,

"Are you cheating on me? Is this why you told me not to come-" he jokes around,

"Oh shut up," the author replies, a smile on his face as he goes to answer the door. He opens the door, revealing Wonpil and Sungjin,

"Hey," Jae says, a questioning expression on his face, leaning on the doorframe,

"What're you guys doing here?"

"Figured you'd want some help packing." Wonpil replies,

"And so you brought Sungjin?" Jae asks, laughing lightly as Wonpil rolls his eyes. He opens his mouth to reply when Brian pops into vision, saying

"He has enough help." and the smile on his face tells the couple he's just joking around.

"You can't tease me about Sungjin when Brian is here at 9 in the morning, helping you pack. And you're moving in with him!" Wonpil argues, and Jae looks at him in disbelief.

"Are you kidding me?" Jae asks, "You and Sungjin bought this apartment!" 

"Well, I wasn't about to let the deal slip by," 

"You're ridiculous," Jae says under his breath,

"What was that? Did you say something?" Wonpil dares, already laughing at Jae who's mocking him.

The 4 start packing, the best friends getting to reconnect a bit, both pairs busy lately, with their respective boyfriends.

"Oh, right... That press conference went really well, it seems like." Sungjin brings up, placing a figure of an anime character in the box that's almost full of Jae's odd toys.

"Yeah, it did. Surprisingly." Jae answers. 

"I'm really happy for you guys," Sungjin says and Wonpil adds,

"And proud. It took a lot of courage to do what you guys did yesterday."

"I'm just really relieved that that courage paid off.." Brian decides to join the conversation,

"You know? Like, I'm _so_ happy that we took that risk."

"I think risk is a good way to describe your relationship,"

The author contemplates a bit before looking at his best friend to reply,

"Yeah, I agree." he looks to Brian who's smiling at him, it's subtle but still just as enchanting.

The 4 continue to help Jae pack, and it consists of a lot of teasing, laughter and not using their time all that wisely. Despite that, it's fun, and Brian loves how comfortable all of them are, so does Jae and so they don't complain once they realize it's already 2pm.

"When're you moving in with Bri, by the way?"

"Movers are scheduled for this Saturday,"

"Geez, already? Someone's in a rush,"

"Oh, really Wonpil? Then when are you guys moving in here?" Jae counters, and Sungjin just laughs in response.

"That's what I thought. Sunday," he answers his own question when Wonpil ignores him.

"In our defense, we've been official way longer than you guys have." Sungjin says, 

"In _our_ defense, we had a lot more obstacles to overcome," Brian replies to his best friend, a sneaky smile on his face as Sungjin rolls his eyes in response, knowing he can't counter that.

The 4 decide to go out for dinner, collectively agreeing that they deserve some food and Jae refused to offer to cook for them. They don't go anywhere fancy, but they do go somewhere out of their little town, Wonpil advising it'd be better to not draw too much attention just yet which results in Sungjin using a bit more gas than he intended to. They find common ground on some Mexican food, and they enter the restaurant once Sungjin parks. They get seated quite quickly, the place isn't too busy, but then again it's a Tuesday night.

They order a party platter of fajitas, and they're enjoying their meal, laughing and joking around as they always do when Jae gets a cold reminder.

The shiver is enough to confirm that what happened yesterday wasn't a dream, and that with the good comes the bad, and that's unavoidable.

"What the Hell do you think you're doing?!" Wonpil's voice is slightly raised, trying not to make a scene but it's considerably hard.

The young girl is shaking, the empty cup in her hand as she says through gritted teeth,

"You _lied_ to me, you _betrayed_ me." she looks at Brian, who's completely frozen in shock and disbelief.

Jae's sitting still in his seat, water dripping from his hair as he refuses to look at the angry 'fan' who just poured her drink on him. 

"And you!" she says directed at Brian, who turns to look at her,

"How dare you _steal_ him away from us. We were there for him when you weren't, we won't _forget_ him-"

"You need to leave." Wonpil buts in, standing between her and the couple who aren't making eye contact and can't utter a word. Sungjin is standing at his side, making sure he doesn't do anything unnecessary,

"I don't care if you're his 'fan', you need to get leave them alone before I do something about it, and believe me. I will." 

The restaurant staff comes just in time, one of them helping with the spilled drink, handing Jae a towel for his head that he's too distracted to accept, so Brian does it for him, and starts patting Jae's head dry.

"I'm sorry," he whispers, and Jae shakes his head, he wants to tell Brian that it's not his fault.

"You guys go to the car," Sungjin says, tossing Brian the keys and Brian takes Jae's hand and they leave the restaurant.

The couple is sitting in the backseat, quiet, but Brian refuses to let go of Jae's hand. They're waiting for Sungjin and Wonpil to return, and Jae just exhales, sighing loudly and catching Brian off guard.

"Okay. I'm good." Jae says, and looks at Brian.

"I almost let that get to me,"

The other looks amazed, his lips starting to curl into a smile,

"Of course there are gonna be people who don't support us... But that's okay. Because we support each other, and there are people out there who do too."

Brian's going to say something, when Sungjin and Wonpil enter the care, Wonpil clearly irritated and muttering something under his breath,

"Speaking of people who support us," the platinum haired man decides to say, but it's only loud enough for Jae to hear as he doesn't want to irritate Wonpil any further.

"What is wrong with people?" the said irritated man says,

Sungjin chuckles, and Brian comments,

"You're getting more upset than Jae is,"

"That's how it usually is," Jae says, a smile on his face and when Wonpil sees it, that's enough to calm him down. There's a few moments of silence until Sungjin sighs and says,

"I just wanted to eat fajitas, man." 

That causes whatever tension was left to disperse and they laugh. Sungjin usually isn't one to complain, and that wasn't his intention just now. He was just stating the truth, and they're all kind of glad he did.

Sungjin drops Brian and Jae off at the author's apartment. When Jae offers to pay them back for their share of the fajitas, Wonpil refuses to accept and tells Sungjin to drive away, and he does.

The couple reaches Jae's unit, and Jae decides to ask,

"Do you wanna stay the night?"

Brian smiles, 

"Yeah, I do."

He goes through Jae's closet to look for something to sleep in, and it doesn't take him too long to grab a shirt and a pair of sweatpants,

"Hey, do you mind if I shower-" Brian asks, walking into Jae's room without knocking and both their eyes go wide when he's greeted with a shirtless Jae.

Jae immediately scrambles for a shirt, and stumbles on his words,

"Y-yeah, uh I mean- no, go ahead."

Brian says a quick 

"Thanks," before practically running to the bathroom, and locking himself in. He leans his back against the door, and places his hands on his face as he wonders why he's blushing.

They're both guys, they know what it looks like when they have their shirts off. They've most likely been to a beach, swimming with their friends, or just chilling with guys on a hot day. So, Brian was wondering why his face was getting so hot and why he was so shocked about his boyfriend.

Then it comes to him that maybe that's the reason; because Jae is his boyfriend. He's not just some friend who's taking a dip in a pool, he's not a stranger on the beach, he wasn't shirtless because it was a hot summer day. That's his boyfriend's torso; his skin that Brian can't help but wonder what it feels like under his fingers-

He slaps himself for thinking such thoughts, and exhales. He gets into the shower, and decides to take a cold one in an attempt to cool his rosy cheeks. When he gets out, he slips on Jae's clothes and smiles at how snug they fit.

Brian goes to Jae's room, knocking this time before going in,

"Hey," he says, and Jae looks up at him.

Brian with his hair down, slightly dry but still dripping down, creating small dark spots on the light grey shirt he's borrowing. The sweatpants cuffed at his ankles, and the way he's leaning on the door frame disables a verbal response from the author.

"Sorry for not knocking before," he scratches the back of his neck, a shy smile on his face.

"It's okay," Jae responds, laughing lightly,

"I mean, it was bound to happen some time once I moved in with you." he adds, and Brian can't deny that.

He makes his way to the bed, a slightly unfamiliar bed but he can predict that it'll feel as comfortable as his own bed, as long as Jae's there.

"I feel like an idiot making a big deal out of it." Brian admits, burying his face into his arms, and Jae laughs,

" _You_ feel like an idiot? I looked like a deer in headlights standing there, and suddenly forgetting how to put on a shirt."

"You didn't need to..." Brian replies quietly, and Jae hits him playfully on his arm.

Brian laughs as he repositions himself, and Jae takes that opportunity to lean his head on his shoulder.

"You know..." Jae starts off, linking their hands and his boyfriend smiles, thinking of how there probably won't be a day that comes where he gets tired of this feeling.

"There'll be days where we get into fights, where we don't understand each other and we lose control of the things we say... On those days, can we agree that the bed is our peace zone?"

Brian looks down, and refuses the urge to place quick peck on Jae's lips that're pouting slightly.

"'Cause I don't want us to go to bed mad at each other. I don't care how mad we are, we're not allowed to sleep on the couch, or go to sleep angry."

"I can promise that," he replies, and adds,

"I think that's a good rule. I refuse to have any bad dreams of you,"

"Agreed. Only good dreams of each other, then."

"Agreed." Brian echoes, smiling down at Jae. Jae kisses Brian quickly before returning to his position,

"And what was that for?"

"For sweet dreams." the author answers with a cute smile,

"Also, I couldn't resist. I didn't know a shirt and sweatpants could look so good on someone."

"They probably look better on you," Brian replies,

"Or on the bedroom floor..." Jae jokes, and Brian looks at him in disbelief. The latter is laughing, as Brian asks,

"What is up with you? You're a little more verbal than usual," but he doesn't imply that it's a bad thing.

"You peeked while I was changing," he argues,

"That wasn't on purpose!" 

"Still happened," Jae practically sings, and Brian just rolls his eyes. They're just laying there, wondering when sleep will take over but neither of them making the effort to close their eyes for a while.

"Hey," Brian says, and Jae looks up in response,

"Are you ticklish?"

It's a random question that makes Jae's eyes go wide, and that gives Brian his answer. Before Jae can even react, Brian's already tickling him, attacking his sides, his underarms, and his neck. Jae's laughing, trying his best to escape but Brian's constantly hovering over him. He's tearing up from laughing so hard,

"Bri! Stop! Seriously!"

Jae's trying to speak but each word is interrupted by laughter. Brian's laughing himself, looking down at Jae who's smile is bright, his laughter melodic. He looks so happy that Brian slowly stops tickling him, and Jae finally gets a proper breath of oxygen, his smile not leaving his face.

Brian leans in slow, and Jae lets him, closing his eyes and once their lips touch, he concludes that there'll never come a day where this sensation doesn't send chills down his spine. 

Once they stop kissing, Jae's smiling as he mimicks Brian,

"And what was that for?"

The latter smiles and places a sweet kiss on Jae's forehead before replying,

"Sweet dreams."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please comment any thoughts, I'd love to know! thank you for reading <3


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> twitter: @zenkrcovers | kakao: zenaya  
> feel free to message me on either, I'd love to make MyDay pals! :D

The rest of their Saturday goes to unpacking Jae's stuff, and is filled with smiles as Jae places his clothes in Brian's closet which is now theirs. More smiles as he unpacks his toys in the little room that they agreed on being a small office space for Jae to write, and for Brian to compose. 

It's almost 8PM when Jae plops down on the living room floor, not even bothering to sit on the couch and just groans at the cold hardwood floor touching his back.

"Tired?" Brian asks, a small smile on his face as he looks down at Jae.

He was hoping he could take him out to dinner, celebrate their first night together, make up for the fajita incident last time. 

"Hell yeah," he answers, closing his eyes as he remains on the floor.

"Too tired for a movie? "

Jae finally sits up, looking at his boyfriend with a smile,

"Definitely not."

"We can watch one out here, you're looking kind of comfy on the floor." Brian teases, even though he wouldn't let Jae stay there during the movie.

"Up for some popcorn?" Brian asks, making his way to the kitchen

"Yes!" Jae says,

"Oh, do you have those flavoured powders?" he asks, his eyes anticipating a positive response.

Brian doesn't say anything, but instead pulls out the familiar blue packets from a drawer, flashing Jae a wink and a smile as the latter replies with a thumbs up.

"What do you want for dinner?" 

Jae eyes his boyfriend already taking out some pans and looking at the contents of the fridge,

"Do you wanna order take-out?" Jae suggests,

"You're tired too, don't cook tonight."

"But I wanted to make you something," Brian replies, a small pout on his lips, and the author just laughs.

"You can make me something another night," 

Brian immediately brightens up; realizing that Jae's right because he lives with him now. A smile spreads on Brian's face, and he nods, putting back the pan and just microwaving the popcorn.

"Are you okay with pizza, chicken and fries?" Jae asks from the living room, already ready to dial and just waiting for the okay from Brian.

"Of course. You know I love eating healthy," he replies with laughter and just watches the popcorn after Jae rolls his eyes and calls the place.

The delivery was quick, a young girl bringing their order within 25 minutes. Brian pays, accepts the boxes, closes the door and turns around to see Jae standing with his arms crossed over his chest.

"What?" Brian asks, going to put the food in the living room,

"She was _fully_ flirting with you."

The latter holds back a laugh, taking into consideration Jae's tone.

"She was not," Brian tries to defend, even though he himself doesn't sound convinced.

"Really?" Jae prompts, and proceeds to imitate,

" _Oh! What a nice place you have! I like your shirt! I love this pizza, too!_ " he twirls imaginary hair between his fingers, raising his voice higher than an average female's and Brian just laughs.

"She was just being friendly, she wasn't flirting,"

"Oh c'mon, her face was redder than the pepperoni on this pizza."

The author sits down on the couch, opening the boxes 

Brian's mouth gapes open,

"Jaehyung!" he scolds, laughing at how petty his boyfriend is being.

"What? You know it's true."

"Are you seriously that jealous? I didn't entertain her." 

Brian sits beside him, a little further away than usual just incase Jae is really being moody

"I'm not jealous. If she's gonna flirt with my boyfriend, she should at least be better at flirting. Like _what_? Why would you say you like the same pizza! You're serving it!"

The latter looks at his boyfriend in amazement and disbelief.

"You're insane," and places a quick kiss on Jae's cheek and he pauses chewing his pizza only to go as red as the girl he was blabbering on about.

Brian grabs a slice for himself and gets up to play the movie.

They agree on Guardians of the Galaxy 2, which results in them laughing and Jae tearing up only to be mocked.

They're almost done the movie, and their current position is Jae's back on Brian's stomach, Brian's arms around Jae's waist and the author's body in between the other's outstretched legs.

The extra clip after the credits is playing as Brian says,

"Hey, Jae?"

"Hm?" he hums in response, his eyes still focused on the screen.

"I love you."

Brian catches him off guard, nestling his chin in the slope between Jae's neck and shoulder. He pulls Jae in just a little closer and closes his eyes.

Jae's eyes go wide as he turns a bright red, and buries his face into his hands. He smiles and just waits for a reply, not minding the wait.

"Unfair," Jae finally whispers,

"You said it first."

Brian's smile just gets wider as he decides to just repeat,

"I love you."

The author refuses to turn and look at him, assuming a smug smirk is on his boyfriend's face. But he can't but smile as he replies,

"I love you, too."

Jae almost loathes the way he's blushing so hard. Brian's his boyfriend; so these 3 words shouldn't be that shocking, especially since they live together now. Yet those 3 same words cause his lungs to burn and his face to rival the 'pepperoni on this pizza', to use his own words against him. Truth be told, Jae wanted to say it first. He didn't expect it from Brian, because he hasn't forgotten. As they're watching this movie on the couch; and tonight when they go to bed, Jae knows that Minri has been in those positions before. He knows Minri had probably heard those 3 words multiple times and Jae wonders if that's why it makes him so flustered. The author is about to comment, something along the lines of how lame they were being, but he can't seem to get words to leave his mouth when Brian nuzzles that spot. His warm breath almost tickling Jae when he says,

"Ah..." Brian says,

"How uncool... I just proclaimed my love for you, but I can't even look you in the eye just yet."

Jae concludes that if they're both this embarrassed, he might was well turn around. He does so; shifting in between Brian's leg as he turns to face Brian. 

He likes seeing Brian like this; blushing and smiling like an idiot as he can't control the happiness.

Jae takes his face in his hands before kissing him, their lips coming together as one as Brian wraps his arms aroud Jae's lower back, pulling him closer. Jae's hand combs through Brian's hair, while the other is grabbing the shirt at the other's chest. The author doesn't know what makes him bite Brian's bottom lip; but that's what happens. Maybe it's only in his mind, but the small noise that escapes Brian's mouth creating a short low hum between their lips, causes Jae to almost lose control - but he doesn't.

The blonde pulls away, and loves the short image of Brian's half-lidded eyes, looking at him with his mouth slightly parted.

They take some time to just look at each other, their breaths only a bit shallow and Jae suddenly becomes aware of Brian's hands at his hips, and what he just did. He turns away, using the back of his hand in an attempt to hide his red face.

"Sor-"

"Don't." Brian cuts him off, his voice stern, almost cold, and Jae's already scolding himself.

Brian places a soft kiss on Jae's neck,

"Apologize." he continues to place butterfly kisses trailing Jae's neck and jaw, and Jae can't help but laugh. Brian smiles himself, finding it cute; the fact that Jae's so ticklish.

Jae pulls Brian into a hug, and finds the arms that wrap around him comforting. Brian squeezes him, and once they pull away he stares at the other. 

His eyes peeking through his glasses, his lips a little more red and plump than usual; and he takes pride that he's the cause of that.

"God... I love you."

"I'm not God," Jae decides to play around and Brian smirks,

"Figured... That lip bite wasn't necessarily..." his eyes trail Jae's face to land on his lips, Brian slightly biting his own as he almost growls,

"...holy."

Jae smiles but there's a tint of mischief as he traces Brian's collarbones that are peeking through the neck of his shirt.

"Why aren't you ticklish?" he asks, an innocent pout on his face; as if it's unfair that Brian's not laughing. A chuckle escapes the other's lips,

"I don't know."

"What's your weakness, then?" 

"You." 

Brian leans in closer, his breath ghosting across Jae's ear and the author almost melts at how low his voice is when he whispers,

"I'm not ticklish, but trust me... I'll go _weak_ under your fingertips."

"I didn't know your voice could go that low," he's still drawing patterns on Brian's skin,

"And I didn't know you were such a flirt."

"Oh please, look who's talking."

Brian smirks, and Jae decides to comment on it this time,

"When you smirk like that..."

The other raises an eyebrow in curiosity, 

"I feel really small." Jae says, and almost slaps himself for how uncool he sounds, and he tries to fix it by saying,

"Like, I feel like I can't do anything... When you look at me like that, I freeze and don't really know what to do."

"Good to know," another smirk but this time it's accompanied by a wink, and Jae just slaps Brian's chest, laughing.

"We should clean up and get to bed."

"Do you wanna go shower first? I'll clean up the living room."

"No, it's okay. I can help," Jae says and gets up, and Brian immediately feels the emptiness; deciding then that he never wants to let him go.

"Are you sure? You seemed really tired,"

"That was before we watched a hilarious movie and, before someone attacked my lips."

"Says the one who bit me."

It's Jae's turn to wink and he chuckles as he picks up the empty pizza box and putting it in the kitchen.

The couple is thankful that there are no dishes tonight, and clean up only takes a mere 10 minutes.

"Do you wanna go first?" Brian asks, gesturing toward the bathroom. Jae nods this time, going inside while Brian proceeds to rest on the bed.

He's just scrolling through his social media, and a picture causes him to think about taking a photo together with Jae, preferably multiple. 

He loses track of time, and only realizes how long he's spent watching clips of kids failing when he hears the bathroom door open, and Jae's head pops out. His blonde locks are dripping wet, and water droplets are resting on his milky skin.

"Uh..." the author says, and Brian looks up,

"Could you pass me a towel, please?"

He nods, getting up from the bed and going through Jae's things to find a towel and gives it to him,

"Can't believe you forgot to bring one in with you," he comments, shaking his head in faux disapproval.

"I'm tired, okay?" the author pleads for a free pass, and Brian laughs as he goes back on the bed.

Jae finally comes out, and switches places with Brian. Brian makes it obvious that he has a towel, and Jae just replies with,

"Yeah yeah, I hope you slip in the shower." and smiles at the familiar laugh that he loves.

When he comes out, Jae tries not to make his reaction too obvious.

Towel wrapped around his waist, his body not thoroughly dry as water drops from his hair to his shoulders and chest. The author's eyes trace the outlines of muscle on the other's body, and he suddenly doesn't feel as tired.

"Oh, my bad..." Brian says, noticing Jae's faint blush and says,

"It's a habit to just walk out... I'm surprised I put the towel on," he admits, and his eyes widen at his last words.

Jae just nods, trying not to imagine what would've happened if Brian hadn't put the towel on; he doesn't really succeed and he transfers his efforts to try and not thrash around in the bed.

"Can I turn off the light?"

"Yeah," is the response, and the room goes dark.

It takes a few seconds for their eyes to adjust but soon enough, Jae can see Brian's figure slipping in to bed beside him. It doesn't take long for Jae to feel his arm snake around him and pull him in closer.

Jae smiles as he turns to face Brian, his face peaceful as his eyelids seem heavy, the pillow underneath him being too comfortable.

"I'm so happy you're here right now,"

"I've slept here before," Jae reminds and Brian says,

"Yeah, but... Now I get to wake up every morning and see you. You're gonna be the first thing I see when I wake up, and the last before I go to bed."

"You're so lame," he rolls his eyes but he doesn't mean it. He appreciates the sweet, sincere words that Brian says to him, but he can't help but wonder if Minri's heard those exact words.

He knows that he shouldn't be insecure about it, and that Brian left Minri for him. So why is he still so hung up on the past? 

"Hey," Brian says,

"You okay?"

Even in the darkness, Brian could still Jae's eyes turn worrisome.

"Mhm," Jae nods and just snuggles in closer to Brian, his pillow becoming Brian's arm.

They start whispering and Jae realizes how much he loves these talks. The ones that occur when they're both tired but refuse to sleep, the ones where Brian's voice switches between a whisper and a sound he labels as 'Grudge-like', as he goes on about a story from his experience in Toronto. These conversations that make each other feel like the only two in the world as they're so close that they feel each other's breaths; the ones that no one else knows about.

"And then Terry just..." he trails off as he looks at Jae whose eyes are closed.

The author can't even open his eyes, the lids feeling too heavy, as he asks,

"Why'd you stop?"

"I'll tell you the rest tomorrow, get some sleep."

"But, I'm not-"

"Don't even try and argue when your eyes aren't open." Brian teases, his low chuckle causing vibrations that Jae feels.

Jae just smiles in defeat,

"Good night."

"Good night," Brian replies, placing a soft kiss on Jae's forehead,

"Love you."

"Love you too," his voice is weak, as he drifts in to slumber, the last sensation being Brian's arm holding him just a bit tighter.

'good morning, love! went to grab some breakfast! wait for me.'

Brian's handwriting is nice and neat, Jae thinks as he inspects the little sticky note that was on his phone.

He looks at the time and concludes that he must've been exhausted last night, considering it's already 11AM. Jae makes his way to the kitchen, smiling as he walks through the apartment, seeing his things amidst Brian's.

Jae's reading a little poetry book when he hears the front door open,

"Hey!" his smile immediately fades when he sees Brian's face, his boyfriend panting a bit as he closes the door.

"What the Hell happened to you?" 

Jae asks, making his way to Brian,

"Sorry... Breakfast got cold,"

"Brian."

He responds to his name, looking Jae in the eye. He inhales before admitting,

"Some girls recognized me..."

Jae grabs Brian's chin, maneuvering his face to see the various scratches; granted there's not that many.

"I'm fine, it doesn't hu-" Brian stops, and continues on, his tone changing,

"Jae... Why're you crying, what's wrong?"

It's only then that Jae realizes there are tears rolling down his cheeks, and he looks at Brian with lost eyes.

"I'm scared... and sorry. I-It's probably so hard to be my boyfriend and I know we were so excited to go on dates, to show each other off... But if you keep getting hurting, and if it's too hard, I'll completely understand-"

"Jae, what the Hell are you saying?"

"If you wanna break-up now, before things get too serious then, I get it, I don't blame yo-"

Brian drops the bag filled with their breakfast, it was cold anyway, before grabbing Jae's face in his hands and kissing him. It's powerful, Brian not letting up even when he's hit with a bit of sadness when the saltiness of Jae's tears gets in the way. Brian's momentum and motive causing them to back up until Jae feels his back hit the wall, and he has no where to go except melt into Brian's lips. The latter bites Jae's bottom lip, and that causes a quiet whimper that makes Brian pause for a second before capturing his boyfriend's lips into a softer kiss.

"Please don't talk about breaking up." he says against Jae's lips,

"Don't say you'll understand the want to breaking up... Please."

Jae's stopped crying, and he's currently looking at Brian, those familiar piercing eyes that're looking at him, making him feel the same way he does when Brian smirks.

"I'm sorry that you feel insecure, and maybe it's my fault for not showing how much I love you... But, I need you to know that the thought of breaking up has _never_ crossed my mind. You just moved in with me, so there's _no way_ in Hell I'm letting you go so soon... or even at all."

Those last few words send chills down Jae's spine, and he just stares.

"You're incredible."

Brian lips slowly curl into a smile before places a quick peck on Jae's lips,

"Stop crying, okay? When I see you like that my heart feels like it's gonna explode."

The author nods. Brian gives him a dashing smile before going to pick up the breakfast, and Jae grabs his wrist,

"Wait. Let's treat those scratches before they scar."

That leads to Brian sitting still as Jae's slender fingers care for the small cuts on his boyfriend's face.

Once that's done, they go back into the kitchen and Brian says,

"I got you an Iced Americano, but uh... The ice is kinda gone now,"

"That's 'cause someone decided to attack my lips."

"Why do you always describe it as an attack?" Brian muses, a curious smile on his face as he microwaves their breakfast.

"Do you know how you kiss? It practically threatens my safety."

" _You can't call it an attack just 'cause you're bottom..._ " Brian mumbles at a volume that was only audible to his own ears,

"What was that?" Jae asks,

"Nothing."

Jae eyes him suspiciously, before rolling his eyes and sighing. Brian laughs and just walks over, placing a kiss on his head,

"I'll stop _attacking_ you, then." 

"No!" Jae immediately protests and doesn't miss Brian's snort of a laugh at his haste reaction,

"You're so confusing!" Brian yells back, but it's an amused tone accompanied by a bright smile,

"I'm not! I'm just saying your kisses make me feel... small, just like your smirks,"

"You know, if you keep saying stuff like that, one day I might not be able to hold back."

Brian warns, and it gets quiet as Jae tries to decipher what that meant; but it doesn't take long. Now the silence is time for Jae to think of a reply.

"When that day comes, don't."

They stare at each other for a while, and Brian's glare breaks when he smirks; something Jae has a love-hate relationship with.

"And you call me the flirt,"

"You started it!"

"Uh, _no_." Brian practically sings,

"You _attacked_ me first."

Jae's about to object but he recalls Brian's birthday party, and he can't do much except settle back into his seat.

"That's what I thought."

"You always have to have the last word, huh?" Jae says, smiling as Brian places their breakfast in front of him,

"That's cause _someone_ feels so proud in having the first."

And with that, they settle down to enjoy breakfast; Brian's scratches being an underlying topic that neither of them bring up as they eat. They enjoy their meal; the first one of many after Jae has moved in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please comment any thoughts, I'd love to know! thank you for reading <3


	25. Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> twitter: @zenkrcovers | kakao: zenaya  
> feel free to message me on either, I'd love to make MyDay pals! :D

"I'll be back in like an hour or two, yeah?"

Jae gives a nod and watches as Brian walks towards the door but not before flashing him a stunning smile and wink. The author shakes his head although the bright smile on his face contradicts the disapproving action.

"Drive safe!"

"I will!" Brian says, and he's halfway out when he says,

"Love you,"

Saying those words had become a habit ever since Brian had said it first. It had been a couple of weeks already, and Brian went back to working at the cafe while Jae had started writing and planning out storylines again.

Jae looks up from his laptop and replies,

"Love you, too."

They share a few seconds of eye contact and Brian's still not gone,

"God, I just wanna kiss you."

"You'll be late, go!"

"C'mon, a kiss doesn't take long."

" _Yours_ do, now leave." Jae replies, earning an eye-roll from his boyfriend who finally leaves to his plans.

Jinhae had stayed true to his word and had pulled some strings to get Brian an interview of sorts at a music agency. He had left with his guitar case on his back, and a small bag that contained his notebook of songs and lyrics; riffs and melodies.

For about an hour, Jae was watching his favourite crime show, having given up on the plot of his upcoming story for now.

"Called it!" he says out loud once they reveal the killer, and he gives himself a pat on the back, and then wonders if he should really be proud about knowing the killer when most people would consider it a surprise.

Then he hears a knock on the door, and almost instantly goes into defense mode; considering he's watching a crime show. He creeps up silently to the door and looks through the peephole, and lets out a sigh of relief. He opens it with a warm smile,

"Hey, Min!"

"Oh hi Jae," she says and Jae lets her in.

It's been a while since they've seen each other, but it's not awkward as they make their way to the kitchen.

"Have a seat, could I get you anything to eat or drink?"

"I thought Bri was the barista," she teases and gives an accepting nod when Jae's done chuckling and prompts,

"Tea?"

They're catching up with each other, Minri talking about how she's now Eunyi's roommate. Even telling Jae that there's this guy she's been talking to, and Jae taking on a protective brother roll, saying

"He's gotta get approved first."

"That's what Eunyi said! She always glares at him and I feel so bad," Minri whines and that sends them into shared laughter.

"Oh, right! You made me forget why I came here."

"You're telling me it wasn't to hang out with me?" Jae jokes,

"Well, the other reason," she replies with a comforting smile, but the eye-roll that accompanies it makes Jae feign offense.

They laugh it off and Jae collects her cup before putting it in the sink,

"And so, what brings you here?"

"Kinda awkward, but I forgot something while moving out. I don't even know if you guys still have it or if Bri threw it out,"

"What was it?"

"My pastel yellow polaroid?" she says, her uncertainty turning her answer into a question.

Jae thinks for a bit,

"Oh! Wait, yeah we have it,"

"Do you?" her expression brightens and she gets up, following Jae when he goes into the living room and looks up at the shelves. Min sees it and offers,

"I'll get it," 

"You sure?"

"Yeah, I feel like I bothered you. You're still in pyjamas, and I saw the paused show on the TV." she says with a smile.

Jae figures he'll just let her, saying a 

"Be careful," when she gets on the step ladder.

Jae wonders why she came back after all this time for a polaroid camera, why she's eager to get it back. Maybe she just wants some pictures she can keep with the new guy she's talking to, but then again she could've easily gotten a new camera. This one must be special to her then, Jae concludes, and as he's thinking too much, he snaps out of it when he hears a yelp.

Minri had a misstep which caused her to fall backward and Jae's thankful he was standing relatively close, catching her.

They're in a position that's quite compromising, their breaths intermingling and staring into each other's eyes. Jae's about to scold her and say,

"I told you to be careful,"

But they hear the door unlock and neither of them know why they don't pull away and so when Brian walks in, it's a little awkward. They separate and Jae doesn't miss the way Brian's eyes change.

"Min?" he says, and she gives a smile and wave. But before Jae or Minri can say anything Brian says,

"Who the Hell is this?"

Jae wonders what he looks like right now, how it looked when his expectant smile drooped into a heartbroken frown.

"Why the fuck was he holding you like that?"

Minri looks just as confused as Jae,

"What- Bri, what are you saying?"

He walks toward them and grabs fistfuls of Jae's shirt, and Jae is almost scared. Usually when Brian's hands are clutching at his shirt, it's accompanied by glazed eyes and kisses that turn heated after a few minutes. But not now. The look in Brian's eyes is piercing anger that Jae has never witnessed before.

"Brian, what the Hell are you doing!" Min yells, grabbing Brian so that he lets go of Jae, not getting to say what he wanted.

"I come back to see you with some random guy, in _our_ apartment... And you're asking me what I'm doing?" 

Jae's frozen, his eyes unfocused so he doesn't see the shocked and sympathetic look Minri's giving him. His mind puts the hints together, forming the conclusion that Brian went out, and had a relapse. Although, it was a certain chunk of memory loss; not everything.

Jae assumes it happened after the interview with the music label, maybe when Brian had just sat down in his car.

Forgot who his boyfriend is, forgot that it's now their apartment.

But he does remember that Minri's his girlfriend, and that they live together. He remembered the way back home, clearly, but doesn't know exactly whose home it now is.

It's been a constant fear of Jae's, but something about Brian only forgetting him and not everything makes it all the more heart wrenching. He knows Brian has this condition, and knows that this day was a very real possibility, however he never prepared for the day to come and for his boyfriend to only remember Minri.

"Why are you still here?"

Brian says through gritted teeth, pulling Jae out of his thoughts and he doesn't even notice he's crying. His eyes catch a glimpse at the way Bri's holding Minri's wrist, his eyes that look infuriated yet saddened.

"Brian-" his voice sounds so weak and small, and apparently it would've been best to stay quiet when he goes,

"You _know_ me? You know my name... So then you know Min and I are together," 

"W-what no! I-I mean, yes I do know you but-"

"Why the fuck are you crying?"

Jae winces at how angry Brian sounds, him cursing with fury evident in his voice feels like a slap in the face which doesn't help that tears. 

"Bri, stop-"

"Min, _please_ not now." he begs and then returns his attention to Jae,

"Listen, I'll give you 10 seconds to get out before I punch you,"

Jae wanted to move, he swears it. But his legs weren't listening to his brain, obeying his heart that's telling him to stay. 

"10, 9, 8," Brian's not patient enough to count down from 10, 

"2, 1."

He lunges forward and Jae braces himself for the-

"Jae!"

He wakes up, a mess of tears and sweat, trembling from a nightmare that was so vivid he can't differentiate between Brian's voice that's soothing him, and the one that was laced with anger and hatred.

"Jae, hey... It's okay."

Brian's arms are strong, yet gentle as he rubs comforting circles on Jae's back, holding him close and hushing him.

"It's okay, you're okay... I'm here,"

Jae lets out a shaky breath and closes his eyes, nestling his face in Brian's shoulder and hesitantly wrapping his own arms around him.

Brian glances at the clock and it's only 4AM, so he suggests,

"Let's go back to bed, yeah?"

The author's scared that once he closes his eyes, the dream will just pick up where it left off. Not receiving a reply or even a nod, Brian uses his hand to make Jae look up, and his heart aches at the tears in his boyfriend's eyes.

He doesn't say anything because he doesn't need to. It only takes a few moments before Jae nods and then settles into his boyfriend's embrace. He's thankful that Brian doesn't ask about the nightmare, and soon enough he falls asleep.

Brian's kept awake a little longer, the fact that he heard Jae say his name while he was dreaming and crying nagging at him. He's threading his fingers through Jae's blonde locks, staring at the ceiling and he's still thinking about Jae's nightmare when he falls into slumber himself.

"Sorry about waking you up this morning..." Jae says, looking at Brian sheepishly.

They're in the kitchen, preparing some breakfast

"No, don't apologize." he replies, giving Jae's forehead a kiss as he walks by to make his coffee.

"Are you okay, though?"

"Yeah, I'm fine... Just never had a dream like that before..."

Brian looks at Jae who's staring into his mug,

"I was in it, wasn't I?"

Jae just nods, and a sad smile is on his face when he says,

"I thought I lost you..."

He open his mouth to say "Never," but that reply isn't entirely true. So Brian simply puts his mug down and makes his way behind Jae, giving him a backhug and nestling his head into the crook of Jae's neck.

"I'm here," he says, and Jae smiles and plays with the bracelet on Brian's wrist.

"Yeah, I know..." and smiles even wider once Brian starts placing kisses on his neck, 

"Let's go on a date today," he mumbles against his skin, breath ghosting across and making Jae shudder slightly.

"But you have to go to the interview,"

"I'll reschedule it, let's just have an us day today."

"Bri, I don't think it's your position to ask for another day..."

"I'll say my stomach hurt, or I got sick. C'mon, please?"

Brian just doesn't want to leave Jae today. Not when he had a nightmare that had him trembling, not when he had a vivid dream of Jae losing him.

Jae's not oblivious, he can assume from the way Brian's being stubborn, but he lets himself give in.

"Where to?"

His smile can be felt against Jae's skin and Brian says,

"Let's go to the beach."

"The beach?" Jae replies, turning his head to look out the window because Brian showed no sign of letting him go anytime soon.

It's a gorgeous day, sun out in all its glory and he gives a shrug accompanied by a smile,

"Yeah, sure!"

Brian places one more kiss on his neck before smiling brightly and finishing up his coffee,

"Beach it is, then."

After breakfast, they pack fairly quickly because there's not much to bring along, and are on the road before Jae even realizes it. They're driving down the road, windows rolled down and Brian has one hand on the steering wheel while the other is holding Jae's. He smiles to himself, appreciating the wind flowing through his hair, and the man at his side. Jae's thankful Brian didn't leave him today after a nightmare like the one he had, it was comforting to have their fingers intertwined, and although Brian's eyes were on the road, the author couldn't help but love the glances Brian stole from time to time.

It's been only a matter of minutes since arrival, and Brian's already in the water, smiling at Jae who's setting their stuff down under an umbrella. 

"Come!" he says, motioning for Jae to come in the water.

"Later!" is his reply.

Brian looks at him and finally gives a nod, slipping back into the water. 

Jae just watches, loving the way the sun reflects off Brian's broad back once he resurfaces. He's admiring the muscles that come through when his boyfriend stands up in the water to push his hair back. 

Jaehyung's not too huge on swimming, he prefers relaxing in the sun. But he figures, while he's here, he might as well cool down in the waves.

He's standing right up on the shore, looking at Brian,

"Come in!"

He shakes his head teasingly, and when Brian comes running towards him, Jae realizes he's not that fast on sand.

Brian picks him up like a bride, much to Jae's yelling protests that are filled with laughter. With a toss, Jae's submerged in the cool sea and when he comes back up, he hears Brian's laugh.

But it doesn't last too long, as Jae pulls him down to join him in the water and his laugh is muffled by the waves.

Their day at the beach consists of Brian buying them ice cream that doesn't really get consumed because Brian's a manchild. The ice cream fight ended in kisses that taste like vanilla, and Jae looking like he put sunscreen on his nose.

They're sitting together under the umbrella as Brian dries off from another dip and Jae can't take his eyes off him.

"What?" 

"Nothing." he tears his eyes away and focuses on the line where the sky meets the sea.

"Tell me," Brian nudges,

"It was nothing,"

"Do I have kelp in my hair?"

"No," Jae answers,

"Sand on my face?"

"No," 

"So, then why were you staring?"

"Because you look insanely good right now!" Jae's fed up with Brian's pestering, and refuses to look at him.

Brian smiles lovingly and kisses Jae's exposed shoulder,

"If only you could see yourself," he replies.

Jae rolls his eyes before getting up to his feet,

"Where're you going?"

"To get some drinks, what do you want?"

"Only you can quench my thir-"

Jae kicks some sand at his boyfriend and laughs at the sputtering sounds that come from Brian as he runs away.

When the author returns with 2 slushies in his hand, he watches from a distance as girls are talking to Brian. He hears bits and pieces of their conversation, but mainly focuses on the gaze that one of the girls is giving Brian. Apparently, not much has changed from the times he and Younghyun used to go, but he doesn't blame the girls.

Except unlike then, he doesn't feel insecure about himself or their relationship. Jae actually feels proud that his boyfriend's getting hit on, so he decides drop his focus on the gaze, and eavesdrop.

"So, how about you give me a call later?"

"Ah can't, sorry." Brian replies,

"My boyfriend tossed my phone into the water." he lies,

"Boyfriend?"

"Yup," Jae says, on cue, handing Brian his slushie and standing at his side. Brian smiles at him and wraps an arm around his boyfriend.

What follows next is an awkward excuse for the girls to leave, and the couple getting a brain freeze because, once again, Brian's a manchild and suggested a race to see who could finish their slushie first.

Their ride home is filled with Jae screaming along to the songs on the radio, wind blowing through their hair as the sun sets, and Brian laughing whenever his boyfriend's voice cracked or he got a lyric wrong.

When they get home, they rush to shower, Jae complaining as he hates the feeling of sand in his hair. Once Brian gets out, he's only in some sweatpants not bothering with a top, drying his hair as he walks into the kitchen to see Jae over the stove-top.

"What're you doing?"

"Making dinner. Aren't you hungry? We kinda skipped lunch,"

"Not that...Why're you wearing an apron?"

Jae looks down,

"Oh, this? I didn't wanna get your shirt dirty."

That's what Brian was addressing. The way Jae looks so adorable in his oversized and an apron, not wearing pants or even shorts. He doesn't have glasses on and his hair is laying on his forehead and Brian really just wants to take him and hug him. 

So, he goes and turns off the stove,

"What're you doing?" it's Jae's turn to ask that question,

"Let's eat later,"

"What- Brian, put me down." 

Brian shakes his head and just walks to their bedroom, not before hastily taking off the apron, laying Jae down on the bed and hovering over him for a while. His intense stare causes a pink flush to make its way to Jae's cheeks and he tries to hide it with his hands,

"W-what?" he asks, suddenly feeling shy under his boyfriend.

"I love you." Brian says and Jae's dwelling on the sincerity in his voice when Brian leans down to kiss him.

The kiss feels different tonight, and Jae thinks he's just imagining it so he decides to just melt into the kiss. Jae wraps his arms around Brian's neck, and when Brian licks his bottom lip, Jae doesn't hesitate to let him in. That's when he knows it's different, when Brian's hand at his waist pulls their bodies a little closer and when his tongue feels another.

The moment Jae lets out a noise that's bound to drive Brian crazy, he pulls away. Marvelling at the sight beneath him, his boyfriend out of breath and his lips slightly swollen and glossy.

"Don't do that," Brian warns, a growl against Jae's skin.

Jae's fingers naturally draw patterns on Brian's bare chest,

"What?"

"That." Brian replies to his silky voice and he gently brushes the hair out of Jae's face,

"If you do, I... I don't think I'll be able to settle for _just_ kissing you." he admits and he knows he's blushing, so he looks down.

Seeing Brian with a faint pink on his cheeks is something Jae adds to his favourite sights, in addition to his half-lidded eyes.

"Hey Bri," Jae says as he takes Brian's chin in one hand, the other finding Brian's and linking their hands.

"I love you."

Brian stares at Jae until a small, endearing smile is on his face.

"I love you, too." Brian replies before kissing him again, and is in love with the way Jae smiles into the kiss, only to connect their lips again.

Jae shudders at Brian's finger tips that make their way under his shirt, slipping it up while leaving a burning trail in their wake. Jae's hands trail down Brian's back, one of them daring to settle at the band of his sweatpants.

Their movements are slow and smooth, even when Brian leaves Jae's lips to place kisses down his jawline and settle at his neck; and he stays there. Brian takes his time, marking Jae where he sees fit, and that's practically everywhere. He's looking down at Jae, smiling to himself as spots of purple and red are starting to come through, when Jae swiftly switches their positions, straddling Brian and his boyfriend looks surprised.

"My turn," is all Jae says and Brian curses under his breath, the profanity aimed towards the look in Jae's eyes and the way he dips down and places a kiss on his collarbones.

Jae likes the way Brian's muscles contract and relax with the subtle contact, and the way Brian's looking up at him is maddening. He places kisses all down Brian's chest and stomach, his slow pace and gentle lips causing Brian to grow impatient. He plays with the drawstrings of his sweatpants, the black elastic band at his waist lower than it had been. In one motion, the sweatpants are off and Brian switches their positions again.

Brian moves slowly and hesitantly, slipping Jae's boxers off as he goes a deep red. Brian places a loving kiss on his inner thighs, and notices Jae trying to hide under his hands, so he grabs them and kisses the back of his hand.

"Hey, baby... It's okay," Brian's voice is like honey, matching the way his skin looks at the moment, and Jae doesn't even process that's the first time a petname had left his boyfriend's lips.

"You're gorgeous, love." he comforts and places a kiss on Jae's temple.

The author feels like he's going to explode, every touch Brian greets him with burns like crazy and it's embarassing and thrilling at the same time. 

Jae tugs at Brian's black boxers, and as Brian's busy creating another hickey on his neck, he pulls it down. Jae wraps his arms back around Brian's neck, and his legs around his waist as Brian begins to move slowly.

It's their first time, and at the beginning, it's awkward and clumsy and almost funny; the amount of times they pause to ask if the other is okay. But soon enough, it's a jumble of breathless moans, names being repeated like a sacred mantra, sights of stars that aren't really there and slacked jaws.

They're cuddling under thin sheets, Brian continuously pressing light kisses on Jae's skin, and Jae's head settled in the crook of Brian's neck. They're both relatively sweaty, but neither of them seem to care. Jae's exhausted, and Brian can tell from his eyes that are barely open.

"Let's get you cleaned up," Brian suggests and his boyfriend gives a nod.

Upon trying to stand, Jae's legs give in at the shot of pain that runs through his spine, which results in him being carried to the bathroom.

Brian's gentle as he washes Jae's body,

"You gave me hickeys everywhere!" Jae says, but there's no real anger in his voice.

"You bit my shoulder! 3 times!"

"That's because you were going too fa-" he's about to argue, but stops because he's too embarrassed and Brian already knows what he's talking about anyway.

They settle into comfortable silence and Jae's smiling to himself as Brian dries him, and carries him back to bed.

Brian showers himself, having the luxury of standing without complaining, and when he returns to the room, Jae's already sleeping.

He slips into the bed, trying not to wake his boyfriend who was clearly exhausted. But when he lays down, Jae turns to wrap his arms around him and nuzzles into his chest.

"I love you." he whispers and Brian smiles,

"Love you too, baby."

"Hey, Bri?" 

He hums in response, eyes closed as he feels tired himself.

"We didn't eat dinner.."

Brian chuckles lowly, amused that Jae would bring that up after what they did, and says,

"Okay, take a nap and when you wake up, we'll have dinner."

Brian feels Jae smile and it doesn't take that long before they both fall asleep as they usually do; in each other's arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please comment any thoughts, I'd love to know! thank you for reading <3


	26. Nerves

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> twitter&instagram: @zenkrcovers | kakao: zenaya

Due to how tired the 2 were, the result is them eating take-out at 11:30PM, and Brian convincing Jae that it's still considered dinner.

They ordered in from the diner, they're in the living room and Jae's laying in Brian's arms, feeding his boyfriend every now and then as a horror movie plays in front of them.

"Hey, Bri?"

"Hm?"

They share a long moment of eye contact before Jae shakes his head,

"Nevermind,"

"You already know I'm going to ask until you tell me."

"It was nothing,"

Brian rolls his eyes before placing kisses on Jae's neck, and Jae can't help but smile. Brian proceeds to tickle him with light kisses,

"C'mon, tell me."

"No," Jae says between light laughter, squirming as Brian tickles his sides.

"Really? You won't?" and Jae's too busy laughing to answer.

"Fine," Brian admits defeat, wrapping his arms around Jae and pulling him closer to place a loving kiss on his neck.

"I just wanted to ask something..."

"Oh, so now you talk?"

"You were tickling me," he defends,

"Because you were refusing to tell me."

"Yeah, 'cause it's embarrassing..."

His interest is peaked at that, curious and eager to know why Jae's cheeks are flushing a rosy pink, and what his boyfriend finds embarrassing after what they just did.

"What could be so embarrassing after what we-"

"See, this is why I said nevermind," Jae cuts him off.

Jae doesn't like the way he feels so embarrassed. He's 24, and Lord knows he's not the most holy young man, yet he becomes this school girl who can't avoid blushing at her crush. He wonders how people go about their lives after a one night stand with a stranger, because he's malfunctioning after a night with his boyfriend. It's dumb, and completely out of character for him, but then again, Brian's changed him. 

"Okay, sorry. You don't have to tell me," Brian says and kisses his cheek, returning his focus to the movie.

They don't talk to each other for a while, the storyline building and actually grabbing their attention.

It's in the middle of a relatively boring, calm scene where the lead is trying to get some cellphone service, when Jae mutters,

"Was it... I mean, was I... Was I good enough?"

If they weren't cuddling so closely, Brian wouldn't have heard it, but he's pretty glad he did. Hearing those words made Brian want to carry Jae back to bed to mark him again, to have him at the mercy of his fingertips again. However, the way Jae asked so meekly results in Brian saying,

"Hey... Look at me."

Jae complies, and as soon as he's turned enough, Brian captures his lips in a sweet kiss. He pulls away but whispers in Jae's ear,

"You're perfect... Good enough?" his laugh is a low rumble as he gives a playful nip at Jae's ear,

"Don't even get me started on how you're too good for me."

"I'm not." Jae replies, and he gives a loving smile as he adds,

"We're perfect for each other."

"There's my boyfriend," Brian teases and Jae just gives a quick peck on the nose.

They settle back into silence as the paranormal occurences resume to pick up, the lead actually murdering her boyfriend which she thought was the entity haunting her.

"Babe?"

Jae's voice as well as that petname catch Brian off guard,

"Sorry, was just trying it out..." 

"You drive me crazy."

"I know," Jae practically sings,

"What a tease." Brian says,

"Gotta have _some_ form of defense against you,"

"Against me? I'm innocent and unarmed, what could you possibly need to defend against?"

"Hmm," Jae hums in thought and decides he'll play around with his boyfriend, fire back at the sarcasm Brian's voice is dripping with.

"That smooth voice, your piercing eyes, the way your hips dip down..." 

Jae doesn't have to turn around for Brian to know he's smiling,

"Your collar bones, your shoulder blades and the way your back muscles move. Gotta defend against those broad shoulders, and your strong arms that make me-"

"Jae, you're pushing it."

"You don't seem to hate it," Jae teases as he shifts in Brian's lap,

"Jae." he warns again,

"Yes, _babe_?"

Brian rolls his eyes before attacking Jae's sides, ignoring the horror movie as Jae's laughter fills their living room. He knows Jae's probably still sore, so he holds back and decides to just tickle him. Maybe add a few more hickeys, but Jae doesn't complain.

Jae's under Brian, out of breath from laughing so much and he's staring up at his boyfriend with a gorgeous smile. Brian places a quick kiss on his lips and says,

"I love you."

"Yeah, I know." Jae replies,

"Good. Don't forget," Brian says,

"Isn't that my line?"

"I think I've proved myself, no? If I ever do forget, I'm sure I'll fall for you all over again."

Jae stares at him, and says,

"Yeah. I don't doubt that," and the smile Brian gives him is radiant.

They reposition themselves, Jae refusing to settle back into Brian's lap until he promised not to tickle him again.

They decide fall asleep in the living room, not before putting on a comedy movie which serves as background noise as their voices reduce to whispers. Jae falls asleep first, as he usually does, but Brian follows into slumber quickly after.

Jae wakes up to faint talking, and despite their voices being soft, he recognizes them right away. He takes a look at the clock, and decides he should get up from the couch, considering it's already 11AM.

"Oh, morning," Brian says, noticing Jae first as he waddles into their kitchen.

Brian, Sungjin and Wonpil are standing at the island, talkling over some, what Jae assumes, coffee.

"Morning," he replies with a smile, and then notices the way Wonpil's staring at him.

"What?"

Sungjin lets out a short snort of a laugh, quickly hushing himself.

"Damn." Wonpil says, and Jae tilts his head in confusion,

"Brian marked you good."

Sungjin laughs at that, joined by Brian who's mainly laughing at Jae's shocked expression.

"I hate you-"

Jae says, and lunges toward his bestfriend but halts when the pain comes back, and Sungjin just laughs harder at Jae's face that flinches at the pain.

"Jesus, he seriously did you-"

"Oh my God, shut up!" the author cuts Wonpil off,

"How could you talk about it so casually?" Jae asks, making his way to the fridge to grab some milk.

"Well, you waltzed in the kitchen practically showing off those hickeys."

"I did _not_ waltz," he tries to defend and Wonpil's smirking as he replies,

"Oh that's right, you waddled because last night-"

"I hate you, you're fired from being my best friend."

Wonpil's laugh fills the kitchen as Jae chugs a glass of milk,

"Why're you guys here anyway?"

"Haven't seen you for a while, so we figured we'd drop by. Didn't mean to while you were still sensitive," Sungjin answers and is smiling when he adds a not so sincere,

"Sorry!"

They laugh it off, and decide to go out for brunch. Luckily, no attacks happen, instead a fan asks for Jae's autograph which he gladly gives.

"You thinking of writing a new book soon?" Sungjin asks as he feeds a bite of his french toast to Wonpil,

"Yeah, definitely."

"It's been over a year since you released 'Float On...', so that seems like a good idea." Wonpil adds,

"Seriously? Over a year?"

"Damn... Time flies."

Jae and Brian look at each other, and both of them realize that means it's been over a year since they met.

It's been over a year since Brian's life as he knew it completely changed, but he wouldn't complain.

It's been over a year since Jae met a guy that looked like Younghyun at a cafe, and although he didn't get Younghyun back, he got Brian, and he wouldn't complain.

"What the Hell did I do the past year?" Sungjin asks himself out loud, and it makes their table laugh.

"Met the love of your life," Wonpil answers and gives a wink and Brian fake gags when Sungjin places a big kiss on his boyfriend's cheek.

"Very true,"

Wonpil smiles and says,

"As for these guys, their year was rough."

"Also very true," Brian says,

"I didn't know a man in dinosaur pyjamas could change my life." he reflects, and Jae's about to defend his choice in attire that day but he decides not to interrupt the sound of 3 familiar laughters he's grown to adore.

They talk and catch up, even after their meals are done and they're sipping on their coffee to avoid getting kicked out. The 4 part ways after making plans for a hang-out next week, all of them refusing to call it a double-date but to anyone else, it would be.

Jae and Brian are in the car when Brian says,

"Can I meet your parents formally?"

It's a random question that catches Jae off guard, but he can't help but smile when he says.

"Yeah, is the end of this week good?"

That's a little sooner than Brian expected, but he reminds himself that they've been dating for a while and he owes the Park family a visit. He gives a nod with a smile, and then they go on to talk about Brian's interview with the music company tomorrow.

Brian doesn't like it when Jae's visibly nervous. He also doesn't like feeling nervous himself. So, when the end of the week is before him and he's getting ready for the reserved dinner, he doesn't like how he's practically rehearsing responses to questions he thinks he'll be asked.

"Babe," Jae says, chuckling at Brian's expression as he buttons up his dress shirt

"You don't need to be so nervous, they're just my parents."

" _Just your parents_?!" Brian practically explodes, making Jae laugh a little louder,

"What if they hate me? Oh my God, they probably will... I'm the guy that left their son and didn't come back-"

"Brian, you met them at the hospital."

"Yeah, I woke up with bed hair and old clothes and met your parents, great first impression."

"You're being ridiculous,"

"I'm just... nervous."

Jae stares at his boyfriend, his platinum hair up in a neat quiff, his suit fitting him perfectly. Brian's looking at him, waiting for a reply and Jae just smiles before kissing him. 

"You don't have to be." Jae assures,

"They'll love you. 'Cause you're the one their son loves, and chose,"

Brian takes Jae's hand in his and gives it a squeeze, closing his eyes as he exhales. He loves how all the nerves seem to disappear when Jae's by his side.

However, the nerves are present again, even though Jae's at his side. They're sitting in a gorgeous restaurant, while Mr. and Mrs. Park are sitting in front of them. 

"So, Brian, how was the interview with the music company?" Jae's mom asks as they're waiting for their meal. 

"It was good. I hope I made a good impression," he replies and those words hold true not only for the interview. 

"Does that mean you're going to be a full-time musician?"

"If the company accepts me, then yes, that's the plan... U-Uh, is that off-putting? I mean, I think it'll pay well-"

"Honey, our son approached us with the intent of making a living off of words on paper." 

Brian gives a smile, noting how Mrs. Park's smile is so comforting, much like Jae's.

"Care to tell us about yourself, Brian?" 

Brian stiffens at the voice of Jae's dad, and Jae notices, so he finds his boyfriend's hand under the table, and links their fingers. 

The latter is telling the Parks about himself, about what he can remember, and what his current plans for the future are, not leaving Jae out of them. They're talking over a nice meal, and his nerves have finally calmed down; finding comfort in the warmth Jae's parents are accepting him with.

"I'll be right back," Jae says, walking towards the toilets and leaving his parents and Brian alone. The comfortable silence lasts a few moments before Brian says,

"Mr. and Mrs. Park... I know it's probably unsettling knowing your son is dating someone who can forget him in an instant... Someone who's caused him a lot of heartache which he didn't deserve, and left him waiting... But I want you to know that I'm in love with your son. Head over heels, and I swear that I'm in this for the long run."

They're looking at the young man with an expression he can't decipher, so he just decides to stare back. As if looking away would be admitting defeat, and giving up Jae.

"I like the tone of your voice," Mrs. Park says,

"You sound so sure about Jaehyung... And being completely certain may be rare for someone with your condition, so to hear that certainty in your voice, and see the determination in your eyes is comforting."

Brian lets himself smile, and is about to reply but Jae's dad beats him to it; his voice gentle yet firm.

"Brian."

He gulps, nervous that maybe he won't get the same approval and acceptance,

"Would you marry Jaehyung?"

"Yes." 

His answer comes in not even a second later, not a hint of hesitation or doubt in his voice.

"With your permission, I would love to be able to put a ring on his finger and call him mine forever."

"Our permission?" he asks, and Brian's about to beg for it when Mr. Park continues with a warm smile,

"You've had our permission since we saw the way you looked into our son's eyes."

Jae returns before Brian can reply, sitting down and asking,

"Did you guys order dessert already?"

"No, not yet," his mom answers, and Jae's too busy eyeing the various sweets on the menu that he doesn't notice the smile Brian's giving his parents.

The night continues on, conversation resuming over dessert. Brian's definitely a lot less nervous, and the atmosphere is overall brighter and Jae notices, causing him to wonder what they talked about while he was at the restroom.

They part ways, and upon sharing a hug, Mr. Park whispers in Brian's ear,

"Take care of him, son."

Being called son, that acknowledgement and acceptance, was probably enough to make Brian cry; but he doesn't. Instead, he gives a radiant smile and says,

"I will."

He gives Jae's mom a hug and she also says words that make Brian feel warm inside,

"You know, the way you look at Jae is really precious." and he just smiles, not knowing what he looks like when he's staring at Jae, but assumes it's similar to the way Mr. Park looks at her.

They're in the car, and almost home when Jae asks,

"Babe, what were you talking about while I was gone?"

"You," he answers,

"Me? What were you guys saying?"

"You don't need to know." Brian says, with a mischievous smirk and it's because of that, that Jae knows questioning will go no where, so he shrugs it off.

"I'll find out one day,"

"Not if I forget" his boyfriend jokes, and Jae smacks him in the arm.

"They wanna sign me!" Brian exclaims, after hanging up the phone. Jae yells, runs and jumps to hug Brian, wrapping his legs around him and Brian spins him around as they're laughing in excitement.

It's been 2 weeks since Brian's inverview, and they were starting to lose hope on Brian pursuing music professionally, he even started looking into becoming a music teacher rather than a professional musician. He's been at the cafe a lot, and Jae's been in touch with Jinhae and his editor, the new storyline coming along and making good progress. The company apologized for taking so long, and reasoned that they were dealing with other talents as well as studio renovations.

"Congrats, baby," Jae says with huge smile, before giving Brian a kiss.

"Couldn't have done it without you,"

"Yeah I know, Jinhae says you're welcome." he jokes and his boyfriend laughs.

"They want me in the studio next week, they liked some songs I already have written and wanna record that."

"You're already starting recording?"

"Yeah I know, I'm shocked too... But I'm not complaining. The sooner I get content out, the sooner I can stand on stage," the twinkle in his eyes is stunning, and Jae smiles as he replies,

"I'll be in front row when you do."

With that, time passes with both of them being occupied with their jobs, Brian often being in the studio while Jae's been meeting with his team a lot. However, when they saw each other at home, nothing changed. They still had movie nights, even when they had to wake up insanely early the next morning, they went on dates that ranged from drive-in movies and dinner at the diner, to well aged wine at luxurious restaurants that's topped off with dress clothes on their bedroom floor.

"Bri, we'll need you on stage in 5, yeah?"

Brian gives a nod, and watches as the stage crew member hurries back, holding her ear piece as she nods as if the person on the other end can see her. 

He's looking at himself in the mirror, his hair's darker now, a tint of blue reflecting as the light shines down on him. He exhales, and his mind is on the verge of breaking down but there's this stillness within that he finds comfort in. Maybe it's his chaotic mind, but Brian can swear he can hear the buzz of the crowd waiting his arrival. 

It's not too big of a venue, but it's definitely bigger than the small audience of that live club he used to frequent.

Brian feels the nerves he's come to more or less control, all because he knows that a tall blonde man will always be there to soothe them.

He's in a daze, or maybe it's more accurate to describe it as a hazy high from adrenaline and the excitement of performing. Brian doesn't even process he's standing on stage surrounded by people that love him and his music until he's done the first song and the cheers are loud. He stares out into the crowd, and his smile is blinding. 

He grabs the mic and says,

"Hi... Thank you all so much for coming out here tonight."

The crowd responds with a roar of cheers which causes his smile to go wider,

"Uh, being able to stand here in front of you guys... It's surreal. About 7? 8?" he shakes his head as he fails to decipher the days, and he can hear some laughter as he simply shrugs and continues,

"months ago now, I was lucky enough to be signed. I was also lucky enough to release my music and actually gain an audience, you guys here tonight." he gives a wave around the venue,

"I know this concert may seem really rushed, so I'm so grateful that each of you came... Especially to that one tall guy with the blonde hair, glasses and a sweater in the front row."

Jae's looking up at his boyfriend with a huge smile, and he gives a small wave. They share this second of eye contact, and he works his magic again as Brian feels the nerves disappear. He smiles at Jae and gives a playful wink, continuing on,

"This is my first time performing in front of you all, so hope I won't disappoint-" he's cut off with a loud protest from the crowd, and he can decipher a few "you won't!"s and he smiles before finishing up his opening ment with,

"Let's have a good show!" and the venue is once again filled with cheers as the bassline of the next song starts to fade in.

Brian runs backstage, his adrenaline running and excitement through the roof after finishing his first concert. He can still hear the roar of the crowd, the way they sang along to his songs, and the glow of the simple lightsticks that lit up the darkness. 

"Hey," Jae says once his boyfriend's in front of him. He's holding a bouquet of flowers, and a bag of food from the diner, both for the sweaty man whose guitar is still slung around his body.

"Hi." Brian replies, and they just stare at each other.

"These are for you," 

"Thank you," Brian says as he accepts them, and it's only a matter of seconds before he quickly puts the items down on the counter and grabs Jae, pulling him into a kiss. Jae melts into it, wrapping his arms around Brian's neck, and once they pull away, he whispers against his boyfriend's lips,

"Congratulations, baby." and Brian responds with a quick peck on Jae's lips.

"Happy Anniversary," he says and Jae smiles,

"2 years down," he informs,

"And eternity to go," his boyfriend responds and they're about to kiss again when Sungjin and Wonpil walk in,

"Get a room!" Sungjin teases, and smiles as he gives Brian a congratulatory hug, and Wonpil follows suit.

"You finally did it," Brian looks at his best friend and replies,

"Yeah. You should definitely come busking with me one day, they gotta hear your voice."

"Mine's nothing special..."

"Are you kidding? That rasp is sexy... Especially when-" Wonpil gets cut off by Jae clapping his hands, not wanting to know where he was going with that.

They talk about Brian's experience on stage, the songs they liked and recognized, and Jinhae joined in halfway through, being there to support Brian and also meet up with his girlfriend who happened to be Brian's manager. Minri and Eunyi also showed up, surprising Brian who thanked them sincerely, and the group just conversed in comfort, losing track of time and only realizing how long they were talking when the venue staff asked for them to leave, as they were closing up.

Jae and Brian are at home now, Jae in the bed on his phone as he usually is when he's waiting for Brian to get out of the shower. He's looking at this one post from a fansite, there's 2 pictures side by side. One of them is Brian from tonight, his eyes gleaming and his smile so wide one would think it hurt, and the other is one of Brian looking at Jae, probably taken on one of their dates, he assumes.

What causes the smile on the author's face, is the caption the fansite put.

'the only time brian looks as happy as he did tonight, is when he's with jae!'

"What're you looking at?"

"A picture of you," Jae answers as Brian makes his way to the bed,

"Why look at a picture when I'm right here?" he says, and his tone of voice causes goosebumps as Brian adds,

"It's our 2 year anniversary... I think there are things you can be holding other than your phone," 

Jae raises a brow as he places his phone on the night stand,

"Oh really?" 

Brian's hovering over Jae at this point, fresh from the shower even though he'll probably have to take another one in an hour or 2.

Brian nods and smiles before leaning down to kiss Jae, and his boyfriend's arms naturally wrap around his neck. 

Although Jae manages to calm him down when he's nervous, there are many times, like at this moment, where being with Jae causes all his senses to heighten, every nerve becoming more sensitive, but Brian's not complaining.


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's almost 2019, which means it's almost been 3 years since i started this story. interesting.  
> twitter&instagram: @zenkrcovers | kakao: zenaya

"Please give a warm welcome to a familiar face, author Park Jaehyung!"

Jae looks into the camera, a warm smile on his face as he waves to the camera. He adjusts his position in the comfortable chair, 

"Hello, I'm Park Jaehyung."

His hair is longer now, and there's this aura surrounding him and one can tell by his expression that he's happy now.

"Congratulations on another successful release,"

"Thank you!" he says sincerely, and gives a small bow and smile to the live studio audience that cheered in celebration for his new novel.

"So, the last time you joined us was when 'Float On...' first came out, right?"

"Yes, I believe so... That means it's already been 5 years, almost 6."

"And within that time, you've managed to release other novels that received much love and support. But recently, you have created another stir within the bookworm community,"

Jae almost lets a laugh slip out at the interviewer's choice of words, but remembers he's on live television and it would probably be best not to.

"Care to tell us about your recent novel?"

"Ah, yes..." a proud smile makes its way to his handsome face as he introduces,

"So, my recent novel is titled 'Tattoo.', and it follows the story of two individuals who have gone completely separate ways, but meet up again in the future. I don't want to spoil anything, but I will say there is a lot of hardships that the two face once they reconnect, a lot of confusion and conflict. They face descrimination, unacceptance as well as society's judgement and disapproval."

She nods, and comments,

"I've already read it, and I cried," she chuckles a bit before asking,

"Why did you decide to title it 'Tattoo.'?"

"The title was actually inspired by my answer to your question of what I think love is." Jae answers, 

"Oh, thats right, I asked you that on your first appearance... Wouldn't have thought another best-seller would stem from that,"

Jae laughs, nodding in agreement. 

"The cover is actually a photo this time, comparable to the rest of your novels that consist of usually just solid colour, the title, and maybe a small minimalist drawing."

"Yeah, I figured a photo of an actual person may make it more personal... Actually, I just thought it was a really cool photo."

"The tattoo is blurred out, but we can see it's on the person's nape."

"Yes, there's no specific reason for that. I just thought it was more artistic." he admits, laughing at himself.

The interview continues on, discussing topics like Jae's current relationship status and he ensures he's still in a romantic relationship with a certain musician whose charm on stage has been captivating the public. He talks about how he managed to engrave such depth and emotion into his newly released novel, explaining that it wasn't too hard to connect with readers once he experienced love and a relationship. All his fans know that the story was more of a biography, telling his and Brian's story, as the immense emotion was revived and the press conference that was held years ago was merely a teaser for an enthralling storyline to be released in the future.

The reason it took so long to write is because Jae refused to miss a single detail - leave out the smallest moment - and wanted to execute their love story perfectly. Behind characters who could easily be deciphered amongst their friends, Jaehyung managed to release another best-seller that was priceless to him and Brian.

The interview wraps up nicely, with promises of coming back on the show sooner, and after greeting some fans, Jae meets up with Jinhae in his car,

"You look good on television, I wonder how those make up artists do it..."

"I don't have fans for my looks," Jae defends,

"Thank God, or else we'd both be unemployed," he jokes,

The author slaps Jinhae on the arm, telling him to just drive since their on a tight schedule.

"Are Sungjin and Wonpil there already?" Jinhae asks,

"Yeah, they're setting up."

"Sucks that Bri couldn't be here," his manager comments just as a text from him shows up on Jae's phone,

**brian♡: you look better in person, but the interview was cute!**

And attached is a screenshot of Jae during the show,

"Yeah..." Jae agrees, and informs with a sweet smile

"He watched the interview live, though."

"You guys are still lame as Hell."

"You love us though,"

"That statement is false." Jinhae objects while shaking his head.

Jae just rolls his eyes and lets out an exaggerated sigh because they both know Jinhae does. If he didn't, he wouldn't have stuck with him through his phases, emotional fits and writer blockers, and most importantly, he wouldn't support Jae and Brian.

Things have changed within the years that have passed. Brian's music career hasn't slowed down at all, and the reason he's not at Jae's side right now is because he's on tour. He just had his final show of the tour in Toronto, a successful night he ensures his boyfriend. Within the time that slipped through their fingers, they experienced a lot of new things. Like their first real fight that resulted in them talking things out at 3AM due to their promise made years ago of not going to bed mad at each other. The cause of the fight started as a small disagreement that escalated into heated words that held no meaning but still slipped out due to long work nights and not enough sleep.

Brian going on tour is also a first, his last stop being Toronto, and he was currently on a plane ride back home.

Another first that was finally coming to life; Jae and Brian have been planning this for a while, and Jinhae also had to get in on things and pull his strings again. 

Currently, Jae and Jinhae were headed to a building on the corner of a street where a line has already formed outside, waiting their arrival.

The couple decided to open up a cafe that had their own little twist. It doubled up as a bookstore, and on Sunday nights, it allowed for live performances. It was spacious yet cozy, the interior's colour scheme being warm colours, mainly oranges and browns that mingled with white. It took almost a year for the cafe to become reality, and now that it was finally happening, Jae couldn't deny it felt wrong without Brian by his side.

His thoughts are cut off when Jinhae slams on the breaks, jerking his body forward,

"Sorry," he says,

"Learn how to drive," Jae replies and Jinhae scoffs,

"I know how. That's why I didn't run over your fans that just ran across the road,"

Jinhae knows Jae must've been thinking about something that was bothering him for him not to notice. He concludes it's the fact that Brian's not here, but decides not to comment on it. 

"We're here, kid."

He unbuckles his seatbelt,

"You gotta run in and make sure-"

Before Jinhae can finish his instructions, the man's already bolting through the back door, and Jinhae rushes to follow him in.

When they get inside, they're greeted with Sungjin and Wonpil, already in uniform, 

"Hey," Jae says, and gives both of them hugs and smiles which he receive in return.

"For some reason, I'm nervous," Sungjin says,

"Don't worry, you're a great barista." Jae comforts, 

"I'm not used to serving that many people though," he replies, eyes focusing on the buzzing line outside.

"You have me with you, you'll be fine," Wonpil says, and Sungjin gives him a warm smile before leaning in for a kiss.

"You guys are still as gross as ever,"

"Jae, you can't even speak about being gross, okay?" Jinhae reprimands, 

"But Brian's not here, so you guys can't come for me." Jae states, and they can't argue with that.

"You'll see him tomorrow morning," and the author smiles at that.

Jinhae looks at his watch before dragging Jae along with him to the middle of the cafe where a table is set up,

"Okay, the store's opening in 3 minutes, you gotta get set."

Jae sits down and gives him an eye roll,

"You can stop treating me like a little kid you have to manage,"

Jinhae laughs to himself before replying,

"Says the one who had a breakdown and told me to come over with ice cream when Brian left for his tour-"

"Hey." Jae interrupts,

"It's your fault he got signed and got famous, and travelled for his shows,"

"Fault?! You say that like it's a bad thing. I wasn't just gonna let your talented boyfriend remain a barista,"

"What's so bad about being a barista?" Sungjin chimes in, narrowing his eyes in fake offense,

"Keep talking like that, and I'll cancel your interview at the record label." and they laugh it off because Jinhae's threat holds no real meaning.

In about 3 minutes is the grand opening of their cafe, as well as another big event. Jae's hosting his first book signing for 'Tattoo.', so he's spending the last few minutes practicing his signature.

"What if they wanna touch me?"

Jinhae looks up from his phone,

" _What_?" his expression deadpanned, eyes squinting in suspicion as if questioning if he heard correctly.

"Like, hold my hand..."

"Relax, you're not a celebrity, I doubt they'll want to hold your hand as you sign their book."

"I hope not, my hands are kinda clammy today-"

"Okay, doors are opening in a couple of seconds, enough of your weird talk." Jinhae cuts him off before walking to the doors that are soon open to the public.

It happens a lot more organized than all of them expected, the fans are respectful as they file in. Wonpil and Sungjin greet them with a smile and slight bow and most of them reciprocate. Jae's standing a little further back, near the table. 

"Before we start the signing, I'd just like to say a few words," Jae manages to project his voice, and the excited buzz dies down.

"Uh, first off, thank you all for coming to support the opening of our cafe!" there's time for a collective applause,

"And the release of my new book. To those waiting in line, or after you've had your time with me," the author thinks he would've worded that better, and just clears his throat when he hears Wonpil's annoying snicker in the back,

"Please grab something, I recommend an Iced Americano, but there's also treats available if you're hungry," some fans' eyes travel to the menu, as Jae finishes off with,

"Thank you, once again, for being here." and with that, he goes to sit down, preparing the table space and taking the cap off the pen.

"You took my lines, by the way." Jinhae says, as the other staff are trying to form a single file line.

"Looks like you're slacking as manager," and Jae giggles like a kid in response to Jinhae's glare. He knows if there weren't a huge crowd of fans in front of them, he could've gotten a slap in the arm.

The signing goes smoothly, most of the fans actually buy a drink and a snack afterwards, but Jae's not that pleased he's had to hold a lot of their hands. It's not that he's disgusted by them, it's actually the other way around, as he curses his clammy hands. 

"Oh?" Jae says when the next fan comes up, 

"Oh my Gosh, it's Jaehyung! Ah! You're my favourite-"

"Shut up," he says between laughter as Eunyi settles down in front of him. She gives him that classic Eunyi smile that he hasn't seen in a while.

"Where's the book?"

"Sign this napkin instead, I didn't wanna spend money on your book."

"Keep talking like that and security will take you away,"

"What security? Jinhae? I can take him on.." she jokes, and takes out the book from her bag.

"Sorry, what's your name, I need to know who I'm signing to." Jae teases, already writing inside the cover,

"Oh of course, just write 'to ex-girlfriend'," she fires back and Jae sends her a glare, looking up from the book for a few seconds before returning his attention to the little message, shaking his head while laughing.

It's a pleasant surprise, but they don't catch up too much as Eunyi's aware of the line of fans behind her. So, after receiving the book back, she goes to talk to Sungjin and Wonpil.

Minutes that turn into hours pass and Jae doesn't know how many books he's signed at this point. But it's a very humbling feeling, as readers talk to him about how his words helped them through a hard time, or maybe how his novels made them appreciate love a bit more. A lot of them asked about Brian, and he tells them his flight is scheduled to arrive tomorrow morning, and that he's also a bit bummed that he couldn't make it to the grand opening. 

Some fans give him gifts, which he receives with shock written all over his face. Jinhae has to collect them, and plan for it so he just puts them in his car.

After hours that Jae didn't keep track of, the line of fans finally comes to an end. Some fans are still lingering, Jae's finishing up signing what he thinks is the last book, and Jinhae's even starting to clean up, when someone runs in.

Out of breath, but that sound is something Jae recognizes in a heartbeat.

He stands up from the table, nearly knocking it over and he doesn't even see Jinhae's knowing smile.

"Hey..." is what Brian says and Jae just hugs him.

"Why're you here so early?" Jae asks, deaf to the excited whispers of fans that stayed.

"As soon as my show in Toronto ended, I got on a plane," he replies, and his boyfriend's just staring at his smile, something he knows Jae missed.

"You lied, then." the author says with a pout, but he couldn't be happier that Brian is right in front of him, arms around his waist where they should be.

"Wanted to surprise you," 

"Well, you did." 

Brian hums in thought, looking up the ceiling before saying,

"Not over yet."

Jae's confused and almost stops Brian when he pulls away from him. The author just stands and watches, but his legs nearly give in when Brian exhales.

Then, he gets down on one knee, his hand reaching into his jacket pocket and pulling out a small black box.

Jae thinks he's dreaming, probably hallucinating just because he missed Brian the past few weeks. But the fans that are screaming are an indicator that this is actually happening.

Brian is actually in front of him, looking up at him with a nervous smile.

"Park Jaehyung,"

He doesn't respond to his name, at least not coherently, merely making a whimper in response. Brian chuckles, and Jae's legs just get weaker. The man on the floor clears his throat, voice trembling from nerves and excitement,

"You are hands down the greatest thing that has happened to me. You're my source of strength, always knowing what to do when I'm upset or angry. The support you provide me is insane, and I couldn't imagine doing anything I've done without you by my side. You are literally my rock, my happiness, my..." he exhales and looks at Jae,

"My everything."

Sungjin and Wonpil are watching in silence, along with the fans. Sungjin knew this was going to happen today, but seeing it all play out is fascinating. In fact, he's the one that texted Brian that the line was coming to an end, even sent Dowoon and Junhyeok to pick the man up from the airport.

"We've been through a Hell of a lot... And, I've put you through a lot, and vice versa. 6 years of dating you, and there has not been a single moment where I've gotten tired of you. Or felt bored when you're with me, with you it didn't work like that- it _doesn't_ work like that. I could be tired from recording all day, body exhausted and I don't even wanna see myself in the mirror... But coming home to you," he sighs with a huge smile and continues,

"Best feeling in the world. And I never want to lose that feeling... I wanna spend the rest of my life with you. I don't know what that entails, what we'll go through but I do know I want you by my side through it all. I know it's probably selfish, considering your boyfriend still has that stupid memory problem. But, I still would like to ask,"

He stares at Jae as he opens the box, tearing up at the sight of Jae quietly crying with the cutest pout on his face.

"Park Jaehyung, will you marry me?"

It's quiet, Sungjin hushing Wonpil from squealing in excitement and the fans silently taking videos and pictures. Jae's staring in disbelief before he walks closer to Brian, nodding as he cries.

"Is that a yes?" Brian asks, laughing at Jae's ugly crying, as he vocalizes a broken,

"Yes," as the musician slips the ring on.

A perfect fit; much like their hands in each others' or their lips on the other's - just like them as people.

The sweet kiss they share is accompanied by cheers and clapping. Sungjin and Wonpil walk up to them, and give them hugs of congratulations. Even Jinhae joins in on the sappy exchange of embraces,

"Did you know about this?" Jae asks Wonpil and Jinhae,

"Of course. I helped book Bri's flight back,"

"And Sungjin and I arranged his ride here." his best friend answers with a proud smile.

Jae just kisses Brian again and hugs him,

"I missed you."

"Missed you too, baby." and he places a loving kiss on Jae's head.

The author stares at the ring around his finger. It's simple yet gorgeous, and he wonders how long Brian spent looking for it. Brian follows his gaze, and as if reading his mind, comments,

"It didn't take long to choose it,"

Jae looks at him, and says,

"As soon as I laid my eyes on that one, I knew I had to get it. I thought it was very you," 

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Well, the sun ray reflected off it right into my eye, so like you, it was blinding." 

Wonpil fake gags, but the couple is too busy in their own little world to notice. Brian just chuckles, holding Jae close,

"I don't know, I just got the feeling like 'this is the one'..." he looks into Jae's eyes,

"Just like you."

They share one more kiss that's applauded supportively.

Jae finishes the book signing off with a thanks to the fans that are still there, and a thanks to Sungjin and Wonpil for holding down the orders. 

The grand opening is a success, as was Brian's proposal. The group is cleaning up the cafe, Brian and Jae may have rags in their hands but they're not really cleaning. They're whispering amongst themselves, Jae repeatedly telling his now fiancé that he missed him, and he hears the same words back. They're talking about the theme of the wedding, the tentative invite list, potential honeymoon locations.

By the time they close the cafe and part ways, the sun has already set and Sungijn and Wonpil are tired from serving for so long.

"I owe you guys," Jae says in the parking lot,

"Just make sure your wedding is open bar," Wonpil replies and Sungjin gives a light shove as he laughs.

"Seriously, thank you." the author says, leaning into Brian as the latter wraps an arm around his waist,

"Any time." Sungjin replies but then his boyfriend adds,

"You say that like we're not paid employees," and the group laughs. They say their good nights, before Jae and Brian get into Jinhae's car.

"Your stuff's already in here?" Jae questions when he sees Brian's luggage,

"Yeah, I texted him when I was at the cafe,"

"That's why I parked so close, so that I could unlock it without leaving the book signing."

Jae looks back and forth between them in awe,

"You guys had this really planned out..."

"You think Bri would allow for an improv proposal?" his manager asks with a scoff, and Jae sighs in defeat.

Jinhae drives them to their home, helps bring Bri's stuff up and then leaves with rushed goodbyes, saying he doesn't want to stay too long and take away from their alone time.

As soon as their door closes, Brian lifts Jae up and the latters legs wrap around his waist, just like always. The share a happy kiss, and before things escalate Brian says,

"I gotta shower."

Jae stares at him with an expression that screams "really?"

"I got on a plane right after a concert. I'm all sweaty,"

"You're gonna be sweaty within an hour anyway," 

Brian laughs into Jae's neck and places a kiss, 

"Fair enough." he says,

"Wanna join me then?" 

Jae looks at him with a sly smile,

"Is that even a question after I haven't seen you for how long?"

"Gotta make up for it then.." Brian says as he walks toward their bathroom,

"I hope you slept well on the plane, 'cause I don't know if you'll be sleeping tonight."

"Ah, how I've missed you and your teasing,"

"Who said I was teasing?" 

Brian watches as he puts Jae down and he walks into the bathroom, 

"You ask that question as you unbutton your shirt like that,"

"Do you wanna do it for me?"

The musician rolls his eyes, before going closer,

"Gladly."

Brian's hands aren't rushed, but they're not as excruciatingly slow as Jae's were. Jae's staring at his ring and he places a quick kiss on his fiance's lips, catching him off guard.

"I love you... so much."

"Are you talking to me or the diamond on that ring?" he jokes and Jae slaps his chest,

"I'm kidding, I'm kidding... I love you too. Always."

* * *

The day has finally come and it's been a long time coming. Lots of planning, stressing out, cake testing, entertainment booking and making sure the venue provided an open bar, as per Wonpil's request. 

"Sungjin!" Brian calls from one of the rooms in the hall,

"What?" his best man says from the door way, probably out of breath from running to Brian's distressed call.

"My hands are shaking too much, help me with the tie."

Sungjin stares at him before bursting out in laughter, walking in to help with Bri's tux.

"Nervous?"

"Excited." Brian corrects,

"Can't wait..." he adds, thinking of putting the wedding ring on Jae's finger. Sungjin gives him a proud smile before checking Brian out, making sure his tuxedo is perfect, no stray hairs in his face.

"Okay, we gotta get you to the altar."

Brian looks at himself in the mirror before exhaling, a huge smile on his face as he nods and follows Sungjin out.

Brian has seen Jae in a suit before, Hell, he's seen him in every outfit possible. But it's different today.

Jae's smile is radiant, blinding as he walks down the aisle. Brian's staring in awe, mouth agape in wonder and appreciation. Brian's said this before, but the tears lining his eyes add so much more meaning when he says,

"You look _perfect."_

And Jae doesn't get to respond, before the priest presiding over the ceremony begins to talk.

It's a blur of words, neither of them really paying attention, too busy staring and marvelling at the wonder that is each other. Until they get to the part where they recite their vows, their staring contest interrupted by the priest clearing his throat to signal one of them to start talking.

"Oh," Brian says, tearing his eyes away from his stunning to-be husband,

"Vow time, I guess..." and their guests laugh while Sungjin shakes his head, smiling at how unprofessional his best friend sounds. He exhales and looks at Jae before saying,

"Park Jaehyung, I vow to remain faithful to you. I promise to be your strength, your best friend, your lover, your biggest fan, and your eternal partner in crime. I vow to be by your side as we continue to grow, learn and love from now until the end of time." he gives Jae a warm smile, as he tears up like the softie he is.

"I promise to never give up on you, on us. To trust in you without a hint of doubt, and to continue to love you unconditionally." Brian inhales,

"I also vow to not see movies you like without you. I promise to stop stealing the blanket at night, interrupting your focus with bad guitar riffs and stealing your food from the fridge."

Of course, he couldn't make promises without teasing at the innerworkings of their relationship.

"Lastly, I vow to never let you go or lose our spark. You've shown me a love greater than I knew existed, you are my everything."

Jae wipes away the tears threatening to fall, and says,

"Why'd you have to take all the good ones, I'm the author in this relationship..." and their friends and family laugh. 

"Way to set the bar," he adds and proceeds to state his vows.

"Brian Kang... I promise to you my faithfulness, truth and endless love. I vow to be your rock, your muse, your lyric editor, your smile when you're feeling blue, and your best friend and lover forever. No matter what life throws at us, whatever we're put through, I vow that we'll get through it together, and I will never leave your side." 

It's Brian's turn to tear up, and Sungjin wants to laugh at how he's biting his lower lip to prevent the tears from actually falling.

"I also vow to never stop supporting you and your dreams, I promise to always get you your own meal from McDonalds, to stop stealing your pillows, and continue to surprise you at the studio when you're recording." 

Jae gives him a loving smile as he finishes,

"Finally, I promise you myself."

The crowd claps as the ceremony resumes, another blur of words. Even when they're repeating after the priest, even when they slip the rings on, they only refocus when they say,

"I do."

The priest says a few more words that go in one ear and out the other, before saying,

"You may now kiss the groom."

"Finally," Brian says against Jae's lips before capturing them in a long, loving kiss. 

Cheers and clapping fill the venue, as they take each other's hand and go down the aisle, waving to their parents and friends. 

"I'm _so_ damn lucky to have you." Brian says,

"And there you go again, stealing my lines." his now husband replies,

"I love you, Bri." Jae adds,

"Love you too, _Kang_ Jaehyung," he says before placing another chaste kiss on his lips. 

Their smiles get wider as they break out into a run, the cheers and support still loud and clear. The matching tattoos on their napes burning, their love - much like the ink - permanent.

They've been through so much together. Each trial that life has put in front of them has made them stronger, has made them just that much more sure.

If they were to ever ask each other who their soulmate is - who was created solely for them to take on the world together - they would reply without hesitation,

_"You."_

THE END.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading! just wanted to have this story on this platform for no particular reason lmfao  
> the original story, on AFF, received so much love and support, i'll forever be grateful. :)   
> can't believe i wrote this story before every day6 like what content was i even inspired by smh-

**Author's Note:**

> Hi Hello, my name is Zen! this story was originally posted on asianfanfics.com but will be updated frequently! however it is completed on that site if you wish to binge it!


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